Chapter Twenty-Nine
Carol ate lunch alone. Worked in her garden alone. Read a book by the bay window alone. Ate supper alone. Waited for Daryl to return, alone. All those things had only given Carol a slight reprieve from the worrisome thoughts flying through her mind at every second. Not even the cool dirt on her hands was successful in chasing them away. Daryl had seemed off on the phone. His voice hadn't been as soft as it usually was when he talked to her. It sounded gruff...and impatient, like he couldn't wait to hang up and get on with the rest of his day. Daryl never acted that way around Carol.
By the time, she had cleaned up after meager supper of leftovers, Carol walked into the living room and hoped that by watching some television, the time would fly by and Daryl would be home. It was already almost seven and though he said he would be late, she didn't think he would be much later than he already was.
What if Ed had gotten to him?
The thought chilled Carol to the bone. In her nightmare, Ed had told her that he had and Daryl had met, that he had fixed the Charger as good as new and Carol had seen the car in the shop. It could be possible that Ed hadn't been lying and that scared Carol more than she ever thought possible. Daryl didn't know what Ed looked like, didn't even know his last name, and that was all her fault. She had wanted to keep those things from him to protect him. He didn't need to know what terrible and horrifying things that the man was capable of doing, but by withholding it, she had put Daryl in danger, too. If she was honest with herself, marrying Daryl had put him in danger, as well.
Tears splashed onto Carol's hands and she had no idea what she was watching on the TV. She had been too absorbed in her terrible thoughts and every second Daryl wasn't walking through that door was another second added to her worry.
Finally, she slipped in a movie, but even though it was one of her favorites, it did nothing for state of mind. As the end credits rolled, almost two hours later, tears were sliding down her face and the sound of the door opening had her jumping to her feet.
Daryl walked in, unscathed, but with a hard look on his face. His shoulders hunched as he slipped off his boots and his hair was sticking in different directions, as if he had run a hand through it multiple times.
At first, he didn't notice Carol standing at the edge of the living room until he had almost passed her to get to the kitchen. When their eyes met, something flashed in his eyes. Carol took a step back, knowing what emotion she had just seen on his face. Anger. At her.
"Why are you cryin'?" His voice wasn't soft with concern. It sounded almost...accusing.
"Oh. Um, I just watched a movie." She gestured to the TV behind her where the music from the play screen kept playing repeatedly.
Daryl squinted at the screen and looked back at her. "You cried at the end of The Breakfast Club?"
"Uh. Yeah." Carol gave him a smile, hoping that it would soften him a little. She didn't want to know that Ed was the reason behind her tears, again. Instead, he just huffed and walked past. She could have sworn she heard him say 'figures' under his breath.
"Are you hungry?" Carol followed him into the kitchen. "I can warm you up something real quick. I just had leftovers, but I'm sure there's still so-"
"I ate already," he cut her off. "Goin' to take a shower." That was all he said before he walked to the bathroom. Carol winced when the door slammed shut.
Had he a bad day at work? Carol asked herself, hoping that was the case. But deep down she knew work had been fine, she was the one his anger was directed towards. For what, she didn't know. Maybe when he came to bed, she would ask him. Daryl shouldn't go to bed angry and she shouldn't go to bed afraid. She had enough of those nights from when she had been married to Ed.
Walking into their bedroom, she quickly shed her clothes and put on her pajamas. The water was still running in the bathroom and Carol decided she would wait for Daryl in their bed. She climbed under the covers and watched the open door.
Several minutes later, she was awakened by the sound of a door being closed, softly. The room was pitch black and she turned on her side to turn on a lamp. Daryl stood beside the bed in his sleep clothes and hair damp. Quickly she sat up and offered another smile that he didn't return.
"Daryl," she said, voice quivering slightly when she realized how angry he was. "Can we talk?"
He didn't answer right away. Instead, he slid in on his side and put his back to her. "It's been a long day, Carol. I just want to sleep."
Carol knew she was being dismissed and she held back a sob. This couldn't be happening. Not when she had finally gotten the courage to tell him everything.
"Daryl-"
"Can you turn off the light?" He sounded tired.
"Oh. Okay." She turned the light off and settled into her pillows. This conversation would have to wait until tomorrow. Unfortunately. But it was going to happen.
"Goodnight, Daryl."
He didn't say anything back.
Daryl knew that going to Merle would most likely be a bad idea, but he had no one else to turn to. Besides, Carol, Merle was the only person Daryl had in this world and he couldn't go to Carol, especially since she was the reason why he was sitting across from his brother.
"So, what's goin' on, Daryl?" The smug little grin on Merle's face had disappeared once he realized that Daryl was pretty upset. "You said I was right and that Carol's hidin' somethin'."
"Yeah," he answered. "And... I don't know what to do." He had tried confronting her a few weeks back, and she had broken down and told him everything...or so he had thought.
"Depends. What is she hidin'?"
Merle leaned his elbows on the table and studied his brother. Daryl looked different than he had when he had visited with Carol a few days before. That Daryl had been happy and when he walked through to greet Merle, he had been proud to have the woman so close. Now, he looked defeated and Merle felt a wave of anger course through him at Carol. This was her fault.
"Don't know. She's lyin' to me about somethin'. Last night, I caught her looking at her phone and when I asked what she was doin' she just told me she was checkin' the time. I heard the chime of a text, though."
"I don't think you want to know what I'm thinkin' right now," Merle said.
Daryl sighed and put his face in his hands. "I know what you're thinkin'...and I won't believe it."
"Then what else could it be? She's textin' someone late at night. It ain't one of her friends if she's not tellin' you."
"But...she loves me," Daryl said, softly.
Merle had seen the love in Carol's eyes, but that could have been all for show. "Are you sure she loves you and not the fact that you give her security?"
"She's was doin' fine on her own." He lifted his head to look at his brother. "She was alone, but she was makin' a life for herself on her own. She didn't need me."
"Are you sure?"
Daryl hesitated and that was all Merle needed for an answer. "She's playin' you, baby brother." His words were said as softly as he could. He knew Daryl and knew that he desperately loved this woman. This was going to hurt him and Merle honestly didn't think Daryl would be the same, again. His little brother was a one-woman man and it turned out that his one woman had fucked him over.
"Listen. In two months, I'll be out of this place. End things with your 'wife' and come back to our place. It can be like old times and I promise I will never mention you ever bein' married. I'll act like it never happened." It was all Merle could offer him.
"Thanks," he huffed and then, stood. "I should head back. Carol's probably wor- Never mind." He ran a hand through his hair and Merle wished he could do more, but he was chained to a table and slept behind bars every night.
"Hey. You're my brother. I got your back, and I know I ain't been around for a few years and it's my fault, but I'm turnin' over a new leaf. I promise." The last thing that would be good for Daryl was for Merle to get hauled off to jail, again. This time he would be completely alone.
"Yeah."
It pained Merle to see that Daryl didn't believe him. This time he would show him, though. He would show Daryl that he could change.
"I'll see you later, then? Maybe you can visit me one or two more times before my ass is out of here?"
"Sure." There was no emotion in Daryl's voice. "I'll see you. Bye." He turned and left. Merle could only watch his back from where he sat.
Daryl felt numb as he drove back to their house...or was it just Carol's now? Merle had said that he should leave her and they could go back to being bachelors, but he knew that leaving that house-leaving Carol- would be the hardest thing to do in his life. He still loved Carol, probably always would. But she was hiding something and she hadn't even thought twice about lying to him. What else had she lied about?
Did she really love him or did she just say it to make him happy? Had she really been married before? Had Ed really...? No. That was real. He saw it when she had flinched from him in what seemed so long ago. He saw it in the way she would really look scared, like her mind had drifted to the time she had been with the monster and he had definitely seen it when she had told him about Ed.
No one could make up something like that and look so convincing while doing it. Not even an Oscar winning actress.
When he finally pulled into the driveway, but stayed in the truck for a few minutes. He took several deep breaths and ran his hand through his hair. What was he going to do? Should he just back out and head to his old home? That way he wouldn't have to deal with Carol or even look at her.
Finally, Daryl climbed out of the truck and walked inside. The living room was a lighted with a soft glow from the TV and he didn't notice Carol until he had almost passed by her. Her face was red and blotchy and there was wet tear tracks down her cheeks.
"Why are you cryin'?" He asked, feeling a little guilty because there was a possibility he was the reason for the tears, but then she said it was because if the movie she had been watching. When he saw the movie, he grew angry. She had been lying to him, again, and it had been over something as simple as the reason why she had been crying.
So with a huff, he walked past her, intent on going to the bathroom in peace, but she followed an asked if he had wanted to eat. He told her that he had already eaten and was going to take a shower. The anger from earlier had him slamming the door.
It hurt to treat Carol this way, but he knew he had to. He couldn't just brush it off this time. If she couldn't trust him, then why were they married? He trusted her, more than he trusted Merle, and she was just throwing that back in his face.
Daryl stayed in the shower longer than usual in hopes that Carol would be asleep when he got out. However, that hadn't been the case. The moment he shut the door to their room, her lamp when on and she sat up, like she had been waiting for him. She wanted to talk, but he didn't have the energy to do so, right then. The day had mentally zapped him of everything and all he wanted to do was sleep.
So, he had interrupted her, told her that he was going to bed and asked if she could turn off the light. He didn't even reply when she said goodnight, even though he hadn't been asleep, yet. Despite how tired he was, Daryl laid awake for a few more minutes and tried to ignore the way Carol's breath had hitched, like she was holding back tears.
Tomorrow, after work, he would start packing up his stuff, again. Then, he would load it all in his truck and take it back to his house. He would spend one more night in this house, in Carol's bed with Carol just inches away, before he left and never came back.
Briefly, he wondered if Carol would beg him not to go and wondered how many times she would tell him that she loved him, hoping that it would change his mind. What she didn't know was that his mind had been made up even before he had gone to visit Merle.
It's so different to be writing this since its not all fluff and happiness. Things will be getting better soon, I promise! :)
Thanks for reading!
