We did not, thankfully, end up having a five-way, much to the Rins apparent disappointment. I did not even want to think about how much therapy I would have to go through if I had sex with doubles of myself and Rin from another reality. I'm distorted, not immune to mental trauma. In any case, Troper successfully formed a contract with me and I could feel the extra prana flowing into my circuits. It wasn't the same amount as when I had done so with Rin all those years ago, but it was still much more than I would have normally had. There was also something unexpected gained from the process, though I had yet to make up my mind on whether or not it was a good thing.
I still don't see why you're so mad about it, Troper's voice echoed in my head.
I felt my eyebrow twitch in annoyance as I walked down the street. "I'm not mad, I just think it looks stupid."
It's a magic crest symbolizing my prana. He responded. What else is it supposed to look like?
"How about something other than a lampshade?" I said, glancing at spot on my upper left arm where it knew the thing was located.
… You clearly don't understand how my powers work. With me, everything is Lampshade Hanging.
I groaned at the return of the mental hyperlinks. I had just gotten over those too, but it looked like I was getting a little more from Troper than just his prana. "Please tell me that this isn't permanent."
Oh stop complaining. Considering how quickly we managed this I highly doubt that this will last longer than a day or so.
I grunted at this. The Rins had been a great help in setting everything up for the ritual to maximize the effect, but I was hoping that they didn't do too good of a job. At the very least, I was pretty sure we could have cut out the part where Troper and I had to remove out shirts (Although that part was highly suspect anyway). Whatever the case, there wasn't any more time to think about it as I was coming up on my target. I didn't have to speak out loud in order for him to hear me, but I did so one last time anyway. "I'm going in now. Good luck Troper, and make sure Rin and Saber are careful."
I'll, um, see what I can do. Good luck to you too.
With nothing else left to say, I walked through the front doors of the MBI tower, strode across the lobby to the receptionist, and said "Hello, my name is Shirou Emiya, and I believe I have an appointment."
Troper snapped out of his thoughts and turned his attention to Rin. "Are you alright? You look uncomfortable." Night had fallen by this point, but close as he was he could still see the woman squirm a little.
However, at the moment Rin had her eyes firmly shut. "I'm fine! Let's just keep moving already!"
On the other side of him, Tohsaka gave a snort. "Please, don't tell me that you're afraid of heights."
"I am not afraid of heights!" Rin said crossly. "However, I am somewhat concerned at hanging off the side of a building with nothing but a few pieces of rope!"
Dangling as they were about 20 stories off the ground on the side of the MBI Tower, the three of them were fairly close to each other, so Troper's shrug jostled the other two slightly. "It's not that bad. And besides, you make it sound like we're not even wearing climbing harnesses."
"I am becoming alarmed at the number of items we have been procuring lately." The group looked up and was greeted by the sight of Saber above them, grasping a piton while a series of ropes connected her to them. A normal person would have been straining on the weight of carrying 3 people with just her arms, but the blonde did not even look tense. "I sincerely hope that we intend to return this."
"Of course, of course." Troper waved off. "Just as soon as the world and the people we care about are not in horrible danger."
Saber frowned at him. "But the world always seems to be in danger these days."
"Damn, she's on to me." Troper cursed to himself.
Rin ignored this exchange in favor of other priorities. "Why did I ever agree to this stupid plan?"
Tohsaka simply snorted. "Oh please, this isn't even close to the craziest thing he's ever come up with. Beside, with your Shirou inside, who would be paying enough attention to see if someone was scaling the side of the building?"
"No one, because no one is that crazy!"
"Exactly!" Troper said. "And that's why it's just Crazy Enough to Work."
Rin simply groaned at this and decided that there was no winning this battle. "Can we please get going already?"
"Of course." Saber said, and with that she drew one of the pitons out of the wall, lifted herself up, and slammed it into the building's side. She repeated the process with her other arm, and soon the group was smoothly moving up the side of the building. "Do not worry. There are only about 60 more floors to go."
It was fortunate that no one inside heard Rin's groan.
In short order after my entrance, I was quickly surrounded by Enforcers and put in manacles similar to the ones Tohsaka had been in the previous day. I didn't bother resisting; it would have been pointless all things considered. Shortly thereafter I was led to an elevator which went down a number of floors. I wasn't sure of how many, but I was certain I was underground.
After walking through some corridors I was led into a large, circular room. There were hexagonal tiles arranged in a circle, each one bearing a symbol that looked close to the Sekirei crest but not quite. Inside these was a matching number of angular pillars, and in the middle of that was a circle with more indentations and bumps whose purpose I did not know. I did not look too closely at it though, as my attention was grabbed by the sight of Miya in the center of all this, slumped in a sort of kneeling position on the floor unconscious. A great number of chains with arcane markings bound her body and tied her to the surrounding pillars.
There was also a woman kneeling in front of Miya, seemingly looking over the bindings. She turned to see us enter, and I saw that she was a fairly average looking Japanese woman with long black hair in a business suit. The woman scowled at the lot of us. "Why in the hell did you bring him here?"
"You said to bring the Sealing Designate to you as soon as he-" The Enforcer next to me began.
"Yes, but not to the room where we're holding the very dangerous alien!" She yelled at him. "Now he knows where we're keeping her."
He shifted uncomfortably. "I don't see why that matters."
"Oh yes, because it's impossible for anything to go wrong and for him to escape, come back here, and release the creature which all account say he has a very good rapport with." She said acidly. "I had enough trouble containing her the first time, and I don't want to have to do it again because you didn't pause to think."
My eyebrows rose as I recognized the voice. "Are you… Gamazy?"
She turned her attention to me. "In the flesh. And I am assuming you are the man that has been causing so much trouble of late." A frown crossed her face again and she turned to the man next to me. "Where are the others? Did you leave them somewhere else?"
"He was the only one who came in."
Gamazy paused before looking back at me. "I distinctly remember telling you that I wanted your entire little group to come in, not just you. Should we pay a visit to Mrs. Sahashi to show you that I was not making my previous comments lightly?"
Carefully controlling my emotions, I gave a small shrug and looked off to the side. "It wouldn't matter that much to me. She's not my mother."
The woman gave me a questioning look and titled her head to the side before her eyes widened slightly. "You're the double aren't you."
"Afraid so." I said casually. "This dimension's version of me was a little wary of walking into a building full of people who wanted to cut him to pieces, so I came here instead."
Gamazy arched an eyebrow at me. "And why are you so calm about all of this? I was ordered with bringing in Shirou Emiya. Who will care back in London which one I've got?"
"Well for starters, I don't have that Reality Marble the other me has, so I'm pretty much useless to anyone in that regard. Secondly, I think you can guess who my master is. I've managed to pick up a few things from him." I lifted the manacles up. "I'm just leaving these on as a professional curtsey."
The woman gave an exasperated sigh and looked off to the side. "Oh, I am going to skin that vampiric asshole the next time I see him. Again. Honestly, the whelp gains control of dimensions and suddenly he thinks he should meddle in everything. It got even worse after he became immortal."
I blinked at this. "Are you… familiar with Zelretch?" I asked. From the rather casual way she referred to him, it seemed like that there was something personal going on. It also sounded like she has known him for a rather long time, though I did not want to think too hard about the implications of that.
She rolled her eyes. "We have something of a history, yes, though that is a long story." She returned her gaze to me. "So, what is it that you want?"
"I'm here to negotiate on my counterpart's behalf. He willing to turn himself in, but he has a few stipulations first." I continued talking when it looked like Gamazy was about to argue. "Nothing major, he just wants to make sure that his family will come out unharmed. He has specifications on how the exchange will go down."
The woman looked at me for a moment before giving a sigh. "While I would much prefer to simply kill you and be done with this, I am sure that it will be much less of a hassle to at least hear you out. Though if I feel like you're wasting my time, I promise that not even that vampire of a master of yours will be able to help you." She gestured back to the door. "Come along, I know a better place to talk than here."
The lot of us left the room and went back into the hall. As I followed her, I couldn't help but mention. "You know, you weren't what I was expecting. I mean, the Clock Tower doesn't really have many Asian members."
Without turning to me, she said. "Actually, I from the Americas. Though if you call me one of those fat, ignorant, idiots, I will have to gut you no matter what you might have to say."
I gave a small grunt while I puzzled over that odd statement. Gamazy continued to be a mystery to me, but I suppose there was a reason she was called the Wraith.
I still wasn't sure why I couldn't sense one bit of magic from her though.
"Finally!" Troper said as he crawled through the air duct. "A building that adheres to the Nakatomi Protocols. I swear I was this close to giving up on your dimension entirely. "
Rin and Saber, who were crawling a short distance in front of him, turned to look back at the man in bewilderment. "Sometimes I honestly can't tell if you're actually talking about something or just stringing words together because you're crazy." Rin said.
"He's taking about the width of the air duct." Tohsaka said, coming up behind Troper. "Most building ventilation systems are too narrow for people to crawl around in. The fact that this one is an exception in quite odd."
"Why does it sound like you have an awful lot of experience with the sort of thing?" Rin asked.
Tohsaka simply gave and exasperated sigh and shot a glare at Troper. Saber then asked "Why is it odd?"
"Older buildings are the ones that need the larger vents for airflow." Troper said. "New ones are much more efficient, and this building can't be more than a decade or two old. I can only guess that this was intentional."
"Who would do that?"
"I don't know, but my money's on the crazy guy who run's this company."
"So, let me get this straight," Saber said as she cradled her forehead in her hand. "In addition to meddling in the affairs and biology of an alien species as well as starting a deadly battle royal among said species for fun, Minaka also alters the design of his headquarters for no discernible reason?"
The four were silent for a moment, as if waiting for something. After the moment passed, they looked around curiously. "Huh," Troper said. "You know I was really expecting-"
"Sorry I missed the cue, I pressed the wrong button!" A voice suddenly said, sounding like it was coming from an intercom. "Ahem. I'm also incredibly good looking too!"
Before any of them could respond to this, the metal underneath them opened like it was a trap door and they all fell about 12 feet, landing on the floor of a large office in a heap. A few groans and a sorting of tangle limbs later, the group managed to pull themselves to their feet and found they were in a rather large and dimly lit office. The tall glass doors and windows on the other side of the room showed that they hadn't made it too far down the building.
The sound of a throat clearing brought their attention to a large desk with a chair facing away from them behind it. "Well, well," The voice said, and the chair expertly spun around to reveal Hiroto Minaka siting in it. "We meet at last."
"You say that like we were supposed to meet at all." Rin grumbled.
"But of course! It was inevitable!" The man in the cape insisted. "You don't think I put on my fancy cape and make grandiose plans just because I'm bored do you? Well, I mean I probably would if I had absolutely nothing to do, but I have a purpose with this one! For you see, I have spent all this time setting myself up as the Final Boss! There is no way the heroes wouldn't encounter me."
Troper nodded at this. "Makes sense. So, I assume that this is where you do your Evil Gloating?"
"Quite so! But don't think you'll be able to simply ignore it, Shirou Emiya. Or should I call you Troper?" the red head's eyes widened slightly at this and Minaka continued. "Oh yes, I've learned all about you. At first I considered you an Outside Context Problem, to be dealt with as soon as possible to keep you from interfering with my Sekirei Plan. But I as I studied you, I realized what you truly were. Those mages can only guess at your true power, but I released it right from the start. You may have created it in your dimension, but here, that task fell to me."
Troper went completely still at this. "Rins, Saber, this is the most dangerous foe we have ever faced." He pointed at the other man's grinning face. "Hiroto Minaka… is a Troper!"
The women behind him simply stared flatly at his back. "Is this what travelling with him is like all the time?" Rin deadpanned to her counterpart. Tohsaka looked at the ground and gave a depressed groan, causing the other woman pet her back comfortingly.
"I am!" Minaka continued, ignoring the ladies conversation. "And you have become powerful in the way of tropes, Shirou Emiya! So powerful that you can use it to cross dimensions and bend reality to your will! Such power is exactly what I need to start the new Age of the God!" The man stood and planted his foot on his desk. "Emiya! I WILL MAKE YOUR POWER MIIINNNE!"
"That not- you can't- how do you even plan on doing that?" Tohsaka said incredulously.
"Details!" Minaka brushed off. "I'll figure something out later!"
In an act of synchronicity, both Rins face palmed at this statement. Troper on the other hand seemed to be taking him seriously. "I can never let such power get into the hands of a villain, especially one as potentially Genre Savvy as yourself. There is no telling what you would do with it."
"Oh, I would do so many things! First I would make a department that would build giant robots to protect Japan from monsters. Then I would make a department that would create those monsters for the first one to fight. Then I would…" The man started to ramble like this for some time, lost in his own imagination. During this, Troper turned his head back to glance at the women behind him. He jerked his head off to the side and made a face, to which Tohsaka nodded before she grabbed the hands of two next to her and led them to the door.
"He'll keep Minaka distracted." She said. "We should get a move on and find the Sekirei."
"Aren't you worried about him?" Saber asked. "He can't use his magic as the moment."
"That doesn't mean he doesn't know how to handle himself without it. Besides, the CEO's just a crazy middle aged man. He'll be fine."
Troper watched the three of them exit before turning his attention back to the man in white, whose rant seemed to be winding down. "… and then I'll make sure that everyone meets their soul mates in a sufficiently adorable and wacky first encounter. Those that don't will suffer my limitless wrath!" Minaka blinked when he realized that the room had suddenly become less occupied. "Wait, where did the ladies go?"
"It doesn't matter." Troper said, squaring his shoulders. "I'm the one you want, and I won't let you turn the world into a series of terrible clichés."
The older man stared at him for a moment before the grin crept back on his face. "Ah yes, course. It has come to this." He settled into an exaggerated fighter's stance. "The fate of the world shall be decided as it should be."
Troper responded in kind. "IN HAM TO HAM COMBAT!"
We had adjourned to a smaller and more reasonable office, where we proceeded to work through the details of our supposed agreement. Really I was just stalling for time while the others were sneaking through the building to find and free my Sekirei. Still, the situation was of some concern for me as I was in the presence of supposedly one of the most dangerous magi on the planet, a few Enforcers, and I still had the magic sealing manacles on me. Oddly enough though, that wasn't the thing that was truly bothering me.
I had been trying to imitate Troper's mannerisms since the beginning of the conversation in order to reinforce the idea that I was an apprentice to Zelretch, trying to gain what bit of clout that might have given me. This required me to ramble a bit and say some nonsensical things to keep up the act. The thing that worried me though was how well it seemed to be working. I've never been a very good actor or liar, but the assembled magi gave no indication that they thought I wasn't being genuine. I wasn't quite sure how I was doing it.
Yes you are. You just don't want to admit it to yourself because you're contextualizing it as a bad thing for some reason. A voice in my head said.
I managed to keep my brow from twitching and hastily thought back It is a bad thing because I don't want to be you. Now shut up, I'm busy.
You say that like I'm not busy. A pause. At least, I'm probably busy.
This caused me to blink. What does that mean?
Don't worry about it.
Before I could respond to this, Gazamy gave me a curious look. "Is something the matter?"
"Uh, no, I just have a lot on my mind." I said quickly. "So, out of curiosity, just how are you going to handle the situation in the city? It'll be next to impossible to track down every single person who has seen a Sekirei battle."
"Indeed." The woman said with some annoyance. "Though it is fortunate that at the very least all witnesses were kept in the city and prevented from communicating to the outside world. As such, we've it's decided that the best approach would be to use a city wide hypnosis spell to alter everyone's memories of the past few months."
My eyes widened a bit. "That would require a massive amount of prana, not to mention the need to setup formula circles all around the city. Can… are you really capable of that?"
"While I have become very good at memory altercation over the years, I am afraid that scale is beyond me. However, I have been made aware of a series of artifacts the company has in its possession that can be of use of this."
I looked at her for a moment before I narrowed my eyes. "You mean the Jinki. Those are alien artifacts relating to the Sekirei. How could you possible hope to use them for this?" I tried to remember everything Miya had told me about them, but all I could remember was how dangerous they were.
"Some evidence I've managed to dig up from the company's archives indicates that it can be used on normal humans instead if the right steps are taken." She said calmly. "I believe that I can repurpose them."
My expression hardened. This was exactly the sort of thing I feared would happen if the Jinki fell into magi hands. "And if you fail you could instead end up killing every human in the city."
She gave a shrug. "There is a low chance of that. Besides, even then the job would still get done."
I felt my body tense in anger at her blatent disregard for human life, but before I could do anything about it, a small glow came from her and my guard's ears. As I glanced up I noticed that they had small crystals tucked behind them, likely being used as a form of magical communication. This was reinforced by how the three of them titled their heads off to the side for a moment as if listening to something. A scowl then crossed Gamazy's face and she gestured to the two Enforcers next to me, who quickly left the room. "It seems that we have a disturbance where we're keeping your copy's Skeirei." She said darkly. "You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"
"Uh, no?" I said as I tried to keep my panic in check. I had to find a way out of these manacles and fast. Unfortunately, the one who had put it on me had just left the room, so I probably needed to get very lucky very soon.
With the guards quickly dispatched, Rin and Tohsaka quickly dismantled the Bounded Field around the room while Saber stood guard. It was brought down quickly, and the three stepped inside to find Shirou's assorted Sekirei, along with two other unexpected women.
"Rin-san!" Yukari said in surprise as she looked back and forth between two identical black haired magi. "You joined the Time Police with Shirou too?! This explains so much! Did you change your name to Sakura in the future? Is Saber the gruff but level headed boss of your organization? Do you-"
"Yukari…" Takami let out with an exasperated groan. "The worst part is I can't tell whether or not it's better just letting you thinking this."
Rin blinked in surprise at the presence of Shirou's family, but didn't think about it too hard. "We're here to bust you out. Where are Uzume and Chiho?"
"I managed to convince the assholes holding us here to have them transferred to an MBI hospital." Takami said. "That poor girl needed some treatment and she couldn't get it here." She gave a small smirk. "Or at least, that's what I told them."
Whatever was to be said next was cut off when an Enforcer stepped into the doorway, cleary caught by surprise by what he saw in the room. It did not last long though as a moment later he let off a sizable fireball. Saber quickly dashed towards the man, her Magic Resistance causing the flame to dissipate before it reached anyone and swung her blade at him. However, the brief fire did cause her to lose sight of him, and in that instant he manage to roll under Saber's attack and further into the room. He sprung to his feet to make another attack-
Which was quickly interrupted when a very heavy boot came up between his legs and impacted his groin. The man let out a wheeze and collapsed on the ground, Yukari standing triumphantly over him. "Hah! Not even Time Criminals with their future technology can hope to evade the Boot of Justice!" she declared.
The two Rin's looked at this sight bemused. "The girl's got quite a kick on her." Rin commented.
Tohsaka gave a grin. "Oh, that's nothing." She glanced at the doorway again and saw another Enforcer duck his head back into the hallway. "Here, watch this." Tohsaka raised her jeweled glove and with a quick flash of light a small section of the wall disappeared, leaving the enforcer standing out in the open. He had no time to react, as instantly Tohsaka was on him and then she did… something. Three separate afterimages of the woman's leg burned themselves into Rin's eyes, and the man crumpled while screaming like a little girl, his body folding in on itself.
Rin gaped as her mind processed what she had just seen. "Did- did you just use Multi-Dimensional Refraction to kick a man in the balls from three different directions simultaneously?"
"Yep." Tohsaka said proudly. "Still needs work though if I want to use it on that old man who's been putting me through this nonsense for the past 2 years."
Rin stared at her for a second before she shook her head. "Ok, I'm going to deal with that later." She turned to Shriou's family. "This is place is going to get dangerous very quickly, so I need you to get out of here."
Shiina stepped up. "I'll make sure they get out safe."
Rin nodded. "Alright, the rest of you with me."
However, Tohsaka shook her head. "I need to go find my Shirou, I'll catch up with you if I can."
"Fine by me." Rin said. She was about to move out when she noticed that the Enforcer which Tohsaka had… put down seemed to be sparking with small flashes of magic. "It's that supposed to be happening?"
Tohsaka shrugged. "It's an after effect. Using that can cause some weird probability fluctuations, particularly if it interacts with other magic. I wouldn't worry about it though. I doubt anything will come of it."
Well, this was it. I had run my tongue as long as I could to keep the woman standing in front of with her arm drawn back me from killing me, but she knew better than to believe me. I had only a moment before she gutted me like a fish.
However, in that moment, my manacles popped off and fell to the floor.
We were both still in stunned silence for an instant. I then Traced several dozen swords and launched them at her in the following instant.
Considering how close she was to me and how small the room was, is was less like a number of discrete swords and more like a very pointy metal wall that was moving very fast. The wave of steel pushed away everything in front of me, and I saw blood splatter. However, I didn't bother to stick around, as I was already out the door and running back to the room where I saw Miya. I doubted that my attack had done any real harm to Gamazy, and if I was to face one of the three disasters of the Mage's Association, I very much wanted to have the alien queen by my side.
Reinforced as I was, I made it back to the room in short order. Wasting no time, I quickly Traced a blade and brought it down on one of the chains, intent on disrupting the spell. Unfortunately, the construct simply shattered on contact with the powerful spell. I grit my teeth and tried again, this time Tracing Kanshou and Bakuya. The blades didn't break, but the chains held fast. I hammered on them in frustration. This isn't working! What I needed was an-
"-Absurdly Sharp Blade!" I suddenly called out, and the chain parted beneath the black and white sabers. I stared at the swords in shock. How… that was a trope. How the hell did I use that like Troper does?
Huh. I was wondering about that. His voice echoed back in my head. I guess you got even more of me than you thought. I would guess that you're limited to sword tropes though.
I was unable to comment on this any further, as breaking the chain was enough to weaken the spell that held the landlady. She gave a slight moan that slowly turned into a growl, and with a burst of motion and light the chains were ripped from her body like they were nothing. She breathed deeply before looking at me with a bemused expression. "What took you so long?"
I gave her a flat look. "Normally this is where the people I save say thank you."
"Perhaps, but technically you're the one responsible for getting me involved in this mess. I shall have to think of a suitable punishment later." She said with a small smile.
I sighed, but gave a smile of my own. If Miya could quip at me, then she was perfectly fine. My relief was shot lived though, as a moment later I heard a voice from the door way. "See, this is exactly what I was talking about. That man better be dead already or I am going to make him wish he was."
I spun and was greeted by the sight of Gamazy, and she looked like a bloody mess. He clothes were torn, blood was seeping out of many large wounds, and even part of her jaw was missing. Disturbingly though, she didn't seem the least bit in pain or even put off by this. In fact, as I watched her, her wounds were stitching themselves up an increasing in speed. "I must say, that wasn't bad for a sucker punch, but it'll take a lot more than that to put me down, even in my reduced state." Indeed, as she spoke, I could finally start to feel magic coming off her, and increasing in intensity.
I could hear Miya speak up behind me. "Is this one of those vampires from the moon you spoke of, Emiya-kun?" She said, her voice was filled with tension.
Gamazy gave an irritated snort. "Please, don't compare me to one of those things. I'm Navajo." Her body began to ripple and she hunched over slightly. "And for the record, my kind are better hunters than those corpses will ever be."
Her body began to change, growing larger and far more muscled. Fur grew from her skin and her hands turned into claws. Heremouth turned into a maw of fangs through which she gave a roar as her clothes ripped off of her now too large body. The quality of her scent hit me, and it reinforced the creature I was seeing before me: a fusion of predatory animals, powerful and deadly.
Something stirred in the back of my mind, a lesson half remembered about an ancient group of magi shape shifters that lived in the American north. A name for the terror in front of me.
Skinwalker.
"And so you see, my victory is inevitable!" Minaka cried out as few quick thrust of his rapier pushed Troper back into a corner.
"But you forget one crucial thing, Minaka! I am Not Left Handed! And neither is justice!" Troper shouted back as he shifted his own sword to his other hand and moved forward to make his counter attack.
Or at least he would have if a series of very loud sirens didn't go off. Minaka stood straight in surprise. "What! That's the red alert!"
"Well, yeah." Troper said awkwardly as he took off his feathered hat and tossed his sword to the side. "I was just distracting you while the ladies could do their thing. Not that it hasn't been fun, but I'm going to have to end this here. And hey, since we started with a Mortal Kombat theme…" Troper then executed a perfect forward split and punched Minaka in the groin.
The man in white topped over. "Whhhyyy…?" he moaned pathetically.
"Because you played with people's lives like they were toys to be discarded." Troper said sternly before walking over to the man's desk. "Ok, if I were a super-villain, I would make sure my desk would have all sorts of controls, so there's probably a button to turn off the alarm on here somewhere." Looking it over, there were indeed a huge number of buttons, but none of them were labeled. "Really? What, does he just remember which ones are which? Oh well, it's probably this one." He pushed a button.
"AUTO-DESTRUCT ENGAGED. 5 MINUTES TILL DESTUTION OF MBI TOWER."
"… Oh Crap."
Troper, I thought in irritation as I dodged another bolt of lightning from the shape shifter. Why did that sound like the auto destruct? And why do I have the sneaking feeling that it's your fault for some reason?
... you can prove nothing.
FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT!
Well, the thing is, even if it was me, I can't.
I paused arguing with my other self to shout "Storm of Blades!" and send a multitude of swords much greater than I could usually make towards Gamazy, though she turned them aside with a localized tornado. What do you mean you can't?! And what do you mean 'if it was you'?!
Well, the thing is… I'm not exactly Troper.
What?! Who the hell are you?
That's complicated. I'm definitely a part of him, but he's not consciously aware I exist. Also, we should probably discuss this when you're not having metal pillars thrown at you.
Unfortunately, whoever the person in my head was was right, and I didn't have time to dodge it. However, Miya appeared in front of me and bisected it with the Traced copy of her blade I had given her, causing the two halves to fly to either side of us. The woman swiftly reengaged the beast.
Even with the two of us the battle was not going well. Physically, Gamazy was very impressive, moving at speeds that belied her girth, and her strength was massive. It wasn't just that though, as she also was controlling the environment around us, using wind and storm even though we were underground, and more than a few slabs of rock were piercing through the walls of the chamber. There was only one way I could explain how she had this range and power of abilities. But how in the hell could she have a Marble Phantasm?! Humans aren't close enough to nature to use those!
Well, it's likely that she's much Older Than She Looks, the one who was not Troper mused. She could have spent centuries getting close enough to nature to do this. Then again, it could just be the author using Rule of Cool, so who knows?
My groan of exasperation turned into a grunt of pain as a well-timed blow impacted my torso. As I tumbled to the ground a short distance away, I managed to pick my head up and shout "Miya! I think we need to exercise the better part of valor!"
Rin, Saber and the Sekirei ran through the halls of the tower as fast as they could, taking down any Enforcers that happened to get in their way. Still, the Sekirei were concerned as to why Rin was taking the lead. "Uh, does Rin-tan know where she's going?" Matsu asked.
Rin gave her a brief nod. "There is a massive magical presence near the center of the tower. Odds are that whatever Shirou's gotten himself into he'll probably be there or on his way there. Besides, even if I'm wrong on that, I'm willing to bet that whatever's happening there is something we should stop."
The group then burst through another set of doors and found themselves in a larger room that was covered in formula-craft circles made of intersecting and complex designs. There were 8 pillars in a circle around the room, and at the base of each pillar was a sort of clear crystal with a red sphere inside of them. Rin could tell that the formula craft converged on those crystals, but she had no idea what they were. "What is all this?" she asked
"Those are the Jinki!" Matsu said with no small amount of concern. "They're powerful artifacts of the Sekirei! Even I don't know all the things they can do, but they could be very dangerous if used improperly!"
"Which is probably what these magi are doing." Rin said with a sigh of frustration. "Since the building's about to blow up, I'm not going to worry about this too much, but we still have to find Shirou and Miya!"
"Just what I was thinking." A voice said, and the group turned to see Karasuba walking into the room, her sword already drawn. "I would take either one of them at this point. With the rest of you as well I think this will get interesting."
Saber caught on to what the woman was talking about immediately. "You cannot possibly want to have a fight now! This building will be destroyed in minutes!"
"I know. Makes the perfect backdrop don't you think?" The ash aired woman said with a smirk before she gave theatrical sigh. "But I suppose you're right. I don't have time to wait for them, so you'll have to do." Karasuba slipped into a fighting stance.
Before anyone could do anything, there was the faint sound of an elevator ding, followed by what sounded like a pair elevator doors being blown outwards.
Miya and I tumbled through the air after getting throttled out of the elevator shaft, and I believe we crashed through another set of doors before we landed on the ground in a two person heap.
"Ah, perfect timing! Now the real party can begin!" I craned my neck up to find Karasuba grinning down at me eagerly. My confusion only increased when I saw the rest of the people present in the room, as well as the Jinki. I could feel my mind start to slip sideways as I stared at them, but I managed to shake it off and look away before I suffered from a Divide By Zero Error.
Before I could do anything though, Gamazy leapt into the room and gave a roar louder than any other, and pressure emanated from her. The rest of the room collapsed to the ground from the sheer weight of her presence.
Damn it! I thought. This whole place is going to blow in a minute, but I can't do anything because of that damn Marble Phantasm! I need some way to counter it or we're all going to die!
Oh gee, the voice in my head though back. If only you had some kind of technique which could pull everyone in the immediate area into a reality where your own viewpoint controlled the nature of the universe.
I blinked at this. You mean my Reality Marble? I can't use that! I could barely use it before, and even with the boost I have now it doesn't mean I'm capable of bringing in everything around me!
Of course it does! That's exactly what that means! You're powered by tropes now, so of course you can use your ultimate attack in the climatic Final Battle! It's just common sense!
I was going to argue, but I then remembered the situation I was in and thought Aww, screw it.
Good. The other one thought back. Now, considering your current gestalt state, we're going to have to change your Aria a bit, so follow after me.
Despite the force pushing me down, I managed to push myself to my knees and chant.
"I am the Blade of the Hero."
"Steel is my Will and Fire is my Valor."
"I have wielded over a thousand blades,"
"Unaware of loss, never knowing rest,"
"I have withstood pain to create weapons, always rising to saving one more,"
"I have no regrets. This is my choice."
"And so my legend is,"
"UNLIMITED BLADE WORKS!"
[Troper!Shirou stands amid the blades of Shirou's Reality Marble, looking at something off the narrative screen with interest.
"Huh? Oh hi everyone. I'm sorry you can't see the totally epic fight scene I am looking at, but the author is a lazy bastard."
Hey! I not writing this out because I'm trying to wrap things up here and fight scenes take time. Besides, I wouldn't be able to do it justice with the time I have.
"Oh, well I'm sure that make our readers who will never, ever see it feel a lot better. Oh man, Shirou just tossed Saber Caliburn so she can duel wield it with Excalibur! And Miya is cycling through a whole armory of Japanese Noble Phantasms! And Musubi has unlocked her Yumi powers and is shooting laser beams everywhere! My dictating this is so much better that the author not being a tool and just writing the damn thing!"
Oh, shut up.
"Can you at least show the epic one liner at the end of the fight?"
Fine.]
"You forgot one thing." I managed to cough out.
"And what is that?" Gamazy said hunched over me, her arm reared back for the final blow.
"Chekov's Sword."
As I said those words, Caliburn erupted through the beast's heart.
["Thank you"]
I looked helplessly at the Jinki out of the corner of my eye. I wasn't quite sure why they had come into my Reality Marble with me, but it seems with all the chaos, magic, and reality bending nonsense that had happened in the last battle, they were reacting in a bad way. I just knew that as soon as I ran out of prana and Unlimited Blade Works dropped, something terrible was going to happen.
"Sucks, don't it." I spun in place to find Troper standing behind me, but I somehow instantly knew that it wasn't him. This was the thing that had been talking in my head. "You go through all of that and the best you can seem to get is a Bittersweet Ending."
"Who are you?" I asked.
"I'm still not sure myself, but you can call me Troper!Shirou."
I blinked. "How did you pronounce the-"
"No, stop that, we're done with that joke." He cut me off. "Anyway, you seem to have a serious problem on your hands here."
I gestured helplessly to the things behind me. "I'm out of ideas and time. Can you do anything?"
The man gave a hum and looked past me. "Well, yes, I can do one thing. But it's not something I should be able to do. I can bend the rules this once, but there will have to be a sacrifice."
I understood what he meant and nodded. "I'll do it. I'll be the sacrifice."
"Noble to the end I see, but that's not what I meant." He walked past me. "The sacrifice has to be me."
"What?" I looked at him in bewilderment. "How does it work? What's going to happen?"
"Not sure." He said will a shrug as he looked at the crystals, their glow increasing in intensity. "At the very least, I'm going to have to go away for a while. I might back, if the author ever takes fancy to me again."
I looked at the man for a moment before I said "I guess you're pretty noble too."
He looked back at me in surprise before a smile crossed his lips. "If you insist. But if you really want to know why I'm doing this… well, letting things go, just the way they are now…" he turned back to the crystals. "would be a really terrible ending." The man breathed deep and spoke his last words.
"DEUS… EX… MACHINA!"
The world faded to white.
I sat on a large pile of rubble, glancing over the remains of the MBI tower. Weariness was creeping over me due all of the crazy nonsense I had just pulled, but I still felt a sense of satisfaction running through me. I had done it. I had saved everyone, and came out alive. My Sekirei, Rin, Saber, and Miya stood or sat behind me, and in that shared catharsis post-battle brings, we watched the sun rise.
Admittedly this was because I had no idea what to do now. The Clock Tower had come after me several times, and this time I had beaten back one of their greatest disasters. Miya herself had proclaimed the right for her species to exist to them. Now it was really in their court.
"So, is that it?" I turned my head to the right and saw Troper and Tohsaka standing a few feet away. My counterpart was looking at me expectantly. "Is this the end of the Sekirei Plan?"
I raised an eyebrow and glanced at the rubble around me. "Considering that MBI is just a pile of rubble with Minaka buried at the bottom, I would say that's pretty much the case. However, I can't really say that this is the end of our troubles."
"Indeed." Miya said, giving me a cool glance. "The magi of this world are proving to be most troublesome to me and my kind, and I imagine that I shall need assistance. Considering your current situation, and the fact that I hold you responsible for the destruction of my inn, I am herby making you my vassal."
"Wait, what?" I said with some alarm.
"Oh! I also think I'm holding on to a part of Yume's soul!" Musubi exclaimed.
"Wait, what?!"
"And you turned me into a woman, Shirou Emiya!" Homura said angrily.
"Wait, what?!"
I looked around helpless for a moment before turning my attention back to Troper, the silent plea clear in my eyes. The man was silent for a moment before he rolled his eyes and gave a sigh. "Ok, he's the plan…" He said. Normally I would have been hesitant to take any advice her would give, but at the moment I would take anything I could get.
However, I did not expect him to simply say. "You deal with it.", turn around and start walking away! Tohsaka was also surprised by this, but I didn't fail to notice the small smile that crossed her lips.
"Hey, wait a second!" I said indignantly. "Aren't you going to help me out?"
He turned to look at me and gave a small frown. "I said I would help you with the Sekirei Plan, and that's over. Besides, you can't expect me to solve all of your problems, you know."
I was silent for a moment before I gave a nod. The man had already helped me more than I could have possibly expected of him. He and his Rin had their own problems to take care of. "Thank you." I said. "I hope you can give Saber her Happily Ever After."
He looked surprised at this for a moment, before his expression softened. He then gave a small bow. "I do what I must for the sake of a Happy Ending. Goodbye, Shirou. If all goes well, may we never meet again." With that, the Lord of Tropes turned and walked off into the sunrise, Tohsaka following after him.
I stared after him for a moment before I became aware of someone standing next to me. I turned to see Rin, my Rin, looking at me with a neutral expression. It took me a moment to realize why and my expression fell. "Now is the time we deal with this, isn't it."
"Yes it is." She said, still looking me in the eyes. "Shirou, you have done some stupid things. I mean really stupid things. But all of this by far counts as the stupidest. Worse, you hurt me and Saber."
I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked down. "I… see. It would probably be best if you left now then. You still might be able to avoid most of the fallout from the Clock Tower if you distanced yourself from us."
There was a pause before I heard an exasperated sigh and a palm smacked me upside the head. "I didn't mean I wanted that, dumbass! I meant that you're going to have to do some work to get yourself out of the doghouse."
I looked up at her in surprise. "Wh- really? But I thought-"
She put her figure on my lips and leaned in close, her voice barely about a soft whisper. "I know, and I'm still not happy with this. But… I love you, you dope. I can't promise anything other than that I'll try to make this work, but I promise I will try."
I stared at the woman stunned until my hand reached up to touch her face and my lips touched her own. I pulled back and whisper in kind "You're more than I ever deserved."
"You've got that right." She said with a small grin. She then turned to the Sekirei present. "Alright, there have been more important this we've had to deal with up until now, but right now there is something of vital importance we had to sort out."
"What's that?" Tsukiumi asked with curiosity.
Rin gave an arrogant smirk. "The pecking order."
Troper- No, Shirou, stood at the pier, staring at the rising sun while his longcoat billowed out behind him. Rin, his Rin, stood by him silently. For a time anyway. "Why exactly are we standing here?"
Shirou looked sheepish. "Well, the distance I had to walk off Into the Sunrise was a lot shorter than I thought, and I can't exactly go back. That exit was way too Badass."
Rin sighed her usual sigh she gave when Shirou was being… well, his usual self before leaning against him. "I'm actually kind of surprised that you walked away." She said.
He looked down at her. "I'll give help wherever I can, but I'm not going to fix all us his problems. Beside, where he is right now has a lot more hope than were he started." He looked off to the side. "Also, someone may have pointed out that I have been neglecting my own story too much."
Rin looked up at him with a coy grin. "She sounds like a smart person. I recommend you follow her advice at every possible opportunity from here on out."
"Yes dear."
Rin smirk then transformed into something slightly more wicked and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Speaking of neglect, now that all this is over and we're out of that unreasonable woman's house, I believe that there is a certain… need that you haven't been seeing to in a while. I think we can spare a few hours for a celebration, don't you?"
Shriou gave a grin of his own and brought his face close to hers. "Now that's what I call a Happy Ending." He said as he kissed her long and deep.
Unfortunately, the pair was interrupted by a sound a short distance behind them that sounded an awful lot like someone chewing on popcorn. Their heads turned slowly and were greeted by the sight of someone chewing popcorn, out of a tub you would get at a movie no less. The person in question was of course none other than their master Zelretch, eagerly watching the two of them while wearing a pair of those cheap 3D glasses. "Oh come on." He said between bites. "You were just getting to the good part."
"It's not that kind of show, old man." Shirou said in annoyance. "We've already done the Fade to Black and the credits are rolling."
"Oh, you're no fun." He said, tossing the popcorn and glasses behind him without a care. "In any case, I would say that it was a fairly entertaining performance, even if things did get a little muddled at the end there."
"So glad to know that our near deaths have once again given you entertainment." Rin deadpanned.
"Ah, good to see that you're getting the hang of it." Zelretch replied, either not knowing or caring about her sarcasm. "In any case, I something important to tell you."
Shirou gave a groan as he had other thing to do, but he knew better by this point that to complain about it. "Fine. What is it?"
"In my travels I have found that my own method of multi-dimensional travel is quite rare, and I have often pondered why is it that most other travelers never run into other versions of themselves. You would think that with all the infinite paths people take, that two must be similar enough that a person from each world would try to arrive in the same place and time. Why, giving it some thought it is surprising that anyone can travel dimensions this way at all without tele-fraging themselves with someone else! The only conclusion I can draw is that the multiverse is even more complicated than I thought! So I set about studying these people to find how they did it and what happened in the universes they're in, and I found that any time even an attempt at travel is made, the universe will split into another timeline to keep people from colliding. Even failed attempts. This can be sad at times, especially when a person's hopes and dreams reside on it being a success. Can you imagine what that's like, having an entire universe made as monument to you failure?"
Shirou nodded slowly for a moment before he shook his head. "I'm sorry but are you going somewhere with this?"
"Hm? Oh sorry I was rambling a bit. My point is I found it depressing to let a girl down like that, so I took the liberty of helping her a bit." And with that, he gave Shirou a light shove.
It wasn't much, but was enough for the red head to have to take a step back to steady himself. He frowned in confusion and took a step back forward, but he found that his hand which had swung back with him was stuck. He looked behind himself and his eyes widened upon seeing a green oval portal hovering there, his hand partway through it. He tried to pull it out, but the port held fast and started sucking him in.
"Don't worry," Zelretch said cheerfully. "I heard that another version of you did quite well for himself where you're going, so I'm sure that you'll do fine."
Just before he was pulled in completely, Shirou and Rin managed to shout "DAMN YOU OLD MAN!"
A/N: We're not quite done yet. I'm posting the epilogue in a day or two.
