Chapter 29:

The next few days were quite difficult for both Chris and me. I could see him shooting subtle looks of concern in my direction during Chemistry lessons and I couldn't help getting quite annoyed about it. I didn't tell him of course, but at one point Nat did question me about it. 'What's with you two at the minute?' She'd asked. 'Have you had a row or something?' I pulled a face. 'Sort of.' I still hadn't told her about the baby and the fact that it was Chris's. I didn't plan to, because I was well aware of how badly she'd reacted when her and Naomi found out that we were together. I didn't dare think of what she'd do if I did tell her. I still hadn't told Naomi about it either, so Kate was the only person that I could really confide in about everything. We often had long, deep conversations about it, which always made me feel like I had a weight lifted off of my shoulders every time.

The effects of my pregnancy were starting to creep in on me, and I told Kate all about those, too. We had a discussion for at least an hour during one of our frees together about if I was going to keep it or not, and on Friday of that week I finally made a decision. I was going to tell Chris after school that day, and the nervous sensation that was twisting at my stomach got worse as it drew closer. Kate and I had Spanish last period, so once we'd got out of the classroom she gave me a big hug and whispered into my ear, 'it's gonna be fine, I'm sure he'd still love you no matter which option you choose to take.' I whispered back a thank you to her, then pulled away from the hug and made my way towards Chris's classroom. I walked as slowly as I possibly could, trying to think of a way to tell him. By the time I'd done that, however, I had reached his classroom door. He was sat down alone at his desk, scribbling away furiously with a red pen at whatever he was marking. I stayed there for a moment, a sad smile tugging at the corners of my mouth as I watched him. Eventually though, he looked up. I immediately stopped smiling, tears threatening to fall again. I took this as my cue to enter the room, so I apprehensively pushed the door open and stepped inside.


'Sami, are you alright?' Chris asked her, noticing the worried look on her face. He affectionately squeezed her hand and tucked a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. She took a deep breath, looked down at their intertwined hands and mumbled 'I don't think I'm going to keep it.' Chris suddenly felt another surge of guilt run through him, even if he'd tried as hard as he possibly could to stick by her and make sure that she made her own decision about it. He'd got them both into this mess, but he couldn't help feeling that touching her stomach like that earlier on was just.. wrong now. 'It's okay,' he whispered. 'If it's what you want, then I promise you I'll be right there to hold your hand when it happens.'

Sami looked back up at him, tears filling her eyes. 'I'm sorry,' she said, biting her lip. 'Hey, what're you sorry for?' Chris murmured comfortingly. 'It's.. my fault.' Tears filled his eyes too now and he didn't say another word, just pulled her into a tight hug. Sami buried her head into Chris's shirt and he rested his head on her shoulder. Neither of them could hold it in any more, and both of them had tears streaming down their faces. They clung onto each other for dear life and Chris gently rubbed Sami's back, still crying himself. 'I'm so sorry..' Chris sobbed, making Sami move one of her hands and smooth it soothingly over the back of his head. 'Shh,' she whispered, lifting her head up a bit. Both of them felt extremely glad that they had each other right then, but the pain of the thought of losing their child lessened this slightly.

Part of them wanted just to be alone so that they could cry properly, but then they both knew that they were comfortable enough around each other to do this anyway. They couldn't bear being apart from one another right then, as Sami felt like Chris was her rock and he felt like he needed to just be there for her.

They exchanged another look and both promptly burst into tears again, sobbing into each other's shoulders. Both of them were absolutely racked with guilt, seeing as they'd made this child of theirs together, but deep down in their hearts they knew it was the right decision. This still didn't stop the pain of it all though. They'd never get to see this baby of theirs growing up, and they'd never know what it'd look like.. If it would have Chris's bright, sparkling blue eyes or Sami's green ones and if it would have his mop of jet black hair, or her shimmering blonde colour. 'Oh God..' Chris bit down hard on his bottom lip, his voice coming out in a hoarse whisper. He felt terrible for all of this, but he couldn't imagine the pain that Sami was going to end up going through when she had the abortion. Just sitting in that room with her whilst it was being carried out was going to rip his heart into pieces, and he felt terrified that she'd not want to be with him any more afterwards.

'Y-You'll stay with me, won't you? After the..' He couldn't even say the word, so he clung onto her even more to prevent himself from crying harder. 'Of course I will,' came the muffled reply. She sounded just as cut up as he was, if not worse. He felt a slight bit of relief, but he nodded and took a deep, shuddering breath, taking in the smell of her. He cleared his head of anything else for a moment, surrounding himself in the feeling of her soft curves against his body, her hair tickling his ear and her face buried in the material of his shirt. He moved his head a little, then kissed the skin on the side of her neck, just before her collarbone. 'I love you, and I'm gonna stay with you, no matter what,' she whispered, tears threatening to fall again. Sami made a choked sound a few more tears trickled down her face. Chris leaned forwards and softly kissed each one away as it rolled down her cheek. She stopped crying then, and smiled sadly at him. Chris kept his hands where they were, beginning to comfortingly stroke her cheeks with them.

After a moment or two, Chris let go of Sami, walked up to his desk, pushed his chair away from it a little bit and sat down. He patted his knees and looked at her. 'Come here,' he said comfortingly. Without a second's hesitation, Sami sat down on Chris's knees and pushed herself backwards a bit so that his torso was pressed up against her back. She tilted her head up, planting soft kisses on both of the places where his dimples were and his Adam's apple. Then, she leaned back completely and rested her head on his left shoulder. 'No matter how long it takes,' Chris murmured soothingly into her ear, 'everything's gonna be okay, I promise you.' He moved his head a little and gave her a long, sweet peck on the lips, then nuzzled her neck and afterwards her hair with his nose. 'You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm never going to let you go.'

She didn't reply, as she had closed her eyes and was resting her forehead slightly below his chin. He opened his mouth and started to whisper sweet nothings into her ear, like he always did when she got upset about something, occasionally giving her earlobe the odd cheeky nibble, which made her breathe in deeply and her heart skip a beat every time he did it. Firstly he told her exactly how much he loved her, and reminded her that one day, he wanted to place a ring on her finger. He then described to her what he saw in her appearance, such as how beautiful her eyes were to him, how every time he laid eyes on her lips he felt the urge to kiss them, and how wonderful her body was. Again, she didn't respond to any of it, simply letting his gorgeous accent and the words he said soak themselves up inside her head. Once he'd finished talking to her, she opened her eyes to find that his arms were looped around her waist, his fingers interlocked.

Sami reached up and stroked Chris's short, black hair. She'd never heard him say things quite like that about her before. She smiled affectionately at him as he closed his eyes at the feeling of her hands running over his hair. She wasn't sure what to say to him, so she settled for a slow, deep kiss on his lips. He kissed her back, but before he had the chance to take it any further, she pulled away. 'I'm sorry, I can't.'