A/N: OH MY GOD I AM SO FUCKING SORRY.
WORDS CANNOT EXPLAIN HOW SORRY I AM.
URGH. I'M THE WORST. SORRY.
I moved house recently, and I was told that the internet would be back on within three days. That was a LIE and I am uber pissed. HOWEVER, I have officially finished this story, so all I have to do now is pray the internet doesn't fucking turn off again and keep posting the chapters!
I am legitimately so sorry, though. I've been dying without the internet (that's my excuse for how shitty this chapter is oops).
When Eponine entered the kitchen the next morning, she was almost expecting a bomb to go off. Her track record with the 'just-run-away-and-hope-the-problem-solves-itself' routine was pretty shit (yet for some reason she kept falling back on it whenever she was faced with a difficult situation), and this time, she was prepared for the worst.
However, Courfeyrac was sitting at the kitchen table in his pajamas, looking tired and scruffy with his hair sticking up, sipping a mug of coffee and staring blankly at the wall. If Eponine had walked in on Enjolras like that, she would've been worried, but it was Courfeyrac, and this was how he always was in the mornings.
"Hey, Ep." Courfeyrac said, finally noticing her. "How'd you sleep?"
Eponine shrugged instead of answering – she'd barely slept at all for fear that she'd ruined another one of her friendships by kissing Courfeyrac – and sat down at the table.
The man's voice came again. "Coffee's still hot. It's that nice Italian stuff that Enj- uh... it's good."
It's that nice Italian stuff that Enjolras is obsessed with.
It's that nice Italian stuff that Enjolras always texts you about: 'Ep, I got that really good coffee from the café around the corner! They were almost sold out but I got there just in time.' or 'It should be against the law for coffee to taste this good.'
It's that nice Italian stuff that Enjolras always smells of when you're sitting right next to him and he leans over to show you something, barely an inch away from you, as if he doesn't realise what being around him does to you.
Eponine gulped. "I'm alright." There was a pause, and then before she knew what she was doing, Eponine opened her mouth to speak again. "Courf, about last night-"
"It's cool." The man interrupted, giving her a small smile. "You don't need to explain yourself to me. I get it. Besides, we both know you never could resist the Courfinator."
Eponine automatically reached over and hit her friend.
"Jesus, you're feisty in the mornings. I should start getting up earlier."
"Right, you do that."
The intense comfort the brunette always felt around Courfeyrac enveloped her, and she relaxed into her chair a bit more.
"Listen, I know I'm no Combeferre, but if you want to talk some more about what happened, I'm here."
Eponine smiled weakly. "I think I'm okay. Thank you for last night, though, and thanks for not... well, making a big deal out of the kiss. I mean, when Enjolras and I kissed it was always so fucking dramatic. I constantly obsessed over what it meant and why it made me feel a certain way, and it was just kind of exhausting, y'know?"
Courfeyrac nodded. "I get what you mean. Passion is exciting, but it gets tiring after a while."
"Yeah. So... is Enjolras in?" Eponine tried to keep the hopeful tone out of her voice. Even though he had hurt her like hell and didn't even realise it, she still longed to see him walk into the kitchen, blinking slowly and stretching. Eponine was pretty sure that she was the only one in the group to ever see him just after he'd woken (and even she had only caught a glimpse a few times).
Courfeyrac bit his lip "He stayed out for a while last night. I think he was trying to avoid – well..."
"Avoid me." Eponine finished.
"Avoid a confrontation. Anyway, I didn't hear him come home last night, so he might have just come home really late, or not at all."
"I hope it's the latter." The girl lied.
Enjolras rarely 'stayed out for a while', especially when he had uni on the next day, so he really must've wanted to avoid her. Even though she knew it was for the best, she couldn't help feeling a bit hurt at the notion that he may have stayed out till all hours drinking or whatever, which was completely unlike him, just so he didn't have to deal with her.
So what if I want to see him? What's wrong with that?
Eponine knew the answer to her own question: 'everything'. She had done this before (with Marius, of course) – the heartbreak, the unrequited love – and she knew what effect it could have on her. Eponine considered herself a strong person, but when it came to the people she loved, she was weak. That was why she used to always say yes to Marius, no matter how ridiculous the favour he asked was.
Courfeyrac put his arm on her shoulder and squeezed.
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"
Eponine shook her head. "I'm tired of talking about it. My head is going to explode if I even think about it again. I just have to keep busy."
"Ep... he fucking hurt you, okay? I understand how you must feel. You don't have to pretend around me."
"Courf, if I just keep moving and don't let myself dwell on it-" Eponine began to argue.
"It will still catch up with you." Her friend interrupted with the sternest look she'd ever seen him wear. "You don't need to talk to me about it, but talk to someone. Write it down. Do something. Don't let it fester."
Eponine was shocked at the words coming out of Courfeyrac's mouth. "Jesus, when did you become so wise?" She asked.
Courfeyrac smirked. "I don't know, I just woke up this way one morning."
"Right. Well. It's not a good color on you."
"Like hell it isn't."
Eponine laughed, and was about to reply when she heard a cough from behind her. When she turned, she saw Enjolras standing awkwardly in the entrance to the kitchen. He looked worse than Courfeyrac normally did, eyes red and screwed up as if the light was blinding him, face oddly vacant and pale.
"Morning." He said simply, voice low and thick with sleep.
"You look like shit." Eponine replied, turning away from him.
"I was up late... celebrating."
"That's not like you."
"Well, I was excited. People loved the performance."
Eponine didn't reply.
"Eponine..." Enjolras started to say.
"I really should get going." Eponine stood up. "I need to spend some time with Gav today. I left him alone in the house two nights in a row, and I've barely seen him the past couple of weeks because of exams."
"Did you still need help with the guardianship case?" The blonde suddenly asked.
"Um, I think I'm okay. Neither of my parents can afford a good lawyer, and even if they could, we've got proof of assault and abuse, which should be enough to get at least one of them locked up. I just need to convince them that I can provide a stable home for Gav."
"I didn't know you weren't his guardian yet." Courfeyrac frowned. "Are they gonna check out the apartment? Do we need to do anything before they come?"
Eponine looked at her feet. "Actually... I might start looking for a new place. I mean, I love you guys, but it's just... it's not a suitable place for a 10 year old to live. He needs a backyard and a bathroom that isn't shared with two grown men."
Then there was silence.
Eponine had been thinking about moving since the night before. Even if all the stuff she'd said wasn't true, she didn't think she could handle living with Enjolras after what had happened between them. It wasn't her main reason for wanting to leave, but it was a part of it. She had been through this exact predicament with Marius, and she was hell-bent on making sure she didn't become a lovesick fool again. Her life needed to be about taking care of Gavroche, work, university and nothing else.
It was a bit of a spur of the moment decision (to move) but Eponine was sure it was the right one. She and Gav both needed a nice change in order to get their lives back on track. The kid had been through so much for a 10 year old, and it was very possible that it could fuck him up if Eponine didn't handle the next few years well. She intended on getting him into a really good high school, as well as starting a university fund as soon as possible.
Gavroche was not going to have the same childhood as her. He was going to have new clothes, all free of stains and tears, and a loving sister who supported and cared for him. No more pickpocketing, no more hiding in the shadows from their father, no more living in fear (that last one was for both of them). A few years before then, it would have seemed like a faraway dream to get that kind of life, but Eponine was feeling more and more confident about the idea by the second.
That's because of Enjolras, you idiot. That familiar, irritating part of her brain was talking again. He's made your life better, and now you're shutting him out?
I'm shutting him out because he doesn't feel the same way, and I can't let myself be heartbroken over another man who only thinks of me as a friend.
But wasn't it kind of weird that he declared his feelings for you, and then blamed it on being drunk?
It was a perfectly plausible explanation. There's no way he would ever have feelings for me.
You're just telling yourself that because it's the easiest alternative. What if he really does love you, and he's just as scared as you are?
It doesn't matter. I'm moving on.
Oh, of course you are.
Yes, I'm moving on from him, and I'm moving on from this stupid thing I do where I have conversations with myself, because it's creepy and a symptom of insanity.
Eponine blinked a few times. The kitchen was still eerily quiet.
"Eponine... are you sure now is the best time to move?" Courfeyrac asked finally, frowning.
"I need to get my act together soon, so yeah, it's the best time."
"But you've been through so much..."
Eponine's head jerked up at that. "So has Gavroche. He needs a good home. I'll be fucked if I let him go back to my parents or be shoved into some home."
"Have you considered a foster family?" Enjolras asked.
"He already has a family, and that's me! Do you think I'm not qualified to take care of him?"
"No! I'm just saying that until you find a good place and a stable income, maybe foster care would be the best option for Gav." The man protested.
Eponine gave Enjolras a long, hard look. "If you believe that shoving my brother into a dozen different homes where he'll be poked and prodded by uptight rich families who think they know what's best for him is the best option, then fuck you."
Enjolras straightened up. "I'm sorry. I was just asking you to consider it, but it's none of my business. Let me know if you need any help with the court case, or with apartment hunting."
The tension in the air lessened considerably at that. Eponine nodded at Enjolras, shot Courfeyrac a small smile, and left the room.
She made her way down to the spare room, which had been transformed into Gavroche's bedroom. She knocked on the door a few times, and then entered without waiting for a response.
However, to her surprise, Gavroche was up and dressed, and was searching through his clothes for something.
"Ye gods, you're up." Eponine laughed.
"It's like 11, Ep."
"Oh. Shit. I didn't realise how late it was. Well, we're going out for breakfast, so put on your shoes."
"Just one sec, I've lost my phone. Can you call it?"
Eponine rolled her eyes and took out her phone. "Fine, but you need to be more responsible with it, okay? If you ever lose it or break it, I'm not buying you a new one. I'll buy you a 20 dollar Nokia."
She went into contacts and scrolled down to 'G'. Just as she was about to press 'Gav', she noticed another name at the bottom of the screen: 'Grantaire'.
An overwhelming sense of guilt washed over her as she realised that she still hadn't fixed things with the guy who was supposed to be her best friend. Putting it on her mental checklist for the day, Eponine pressed her brother's name and waited.
Immediately, she heard the familiar ring of his phone, and it was surprisingly close.
"Oh, it's in my jeans." Gavroche said, pulling out the thing and pressing something that stopped the ringing.
"Jesus, were you dropped on the head as a kid?" Eponine said in an exaggerated tone (she knew that he had been dropped on the head many times – a few too many, in fact).
"Yeah, by my stupid big sister."
"Ouch, that one hurt."
When Eponine left the kitchen, an eerie kind of silence overtook the room. Enjolras shuffled on the spot for a moment, before walking over to a chair and sitting down.
"Is there still coffee?" He asked, turning to Courfeyrac.
"Yep."
Pause.
"Really? It's normally all gone by 11."
Courfeyrac was stony faced. "Ep didn't want any."
"Oh."
Briefly, Enjolras thought about how strange it was that such a simple sentence could hurt him so much. She loved that coffee (that was what she'd told him, at least) – or maybe she'd just said she did because he'd talked about it so much. Maybe he'd been too pushy. Maybe that was why she was moving.
"I guess we'll have two spare rooms now." Courfeyrac said finally, a bit of sharpness in his tone.
Enjolras simply nodded, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. Did he beg her to stay? Did he try to appear impassive, therefore making her want to stay?
Why does she even want to go? He thought to himself.
"I don't know." Courfeyrac spoke again.
Enjolras jumped, not realising he'd voiced his thoughts aloud.
"It must just be about Gavroche. I'm sure that's the only reason."
Though Courfeyrac's words should've sounded reassuring, the man said them in a way that seemed slightly sarcastic, as if he was mad at Enjolras.
The blonde gave his friend an odd look. "Is everything alright?" He asked.
Courfeyrac frowned. "Yep. Everything is just great."
"Seriously, Courf, what's going on?"
The frown deepened. "I should be asking you that."
And before Enjolras could say another word, Courfeyrac had stormed out of the kitchen.
A/N: Worth the wait?
Probably not. But the story will continue on, regardless. Again, SO SORRY about the wait. You guys are the best for putting up with me, and so is my freaking incredible beta, love-never-dies-90.
