Hope you enjoy, usual warnings for spelling and grammar :')

Oh and there will be about three more chapters after this one xx


Cas sat in bed all Monday, he didn't say a word and Michael didn't force him. being the big brother he was he did worry a lot. He took the day of work and kept Cas' door open so he could keep an eye on the kid. Ever so often Cas listen to the voice mail a very drunk Dean had left him last night. 'you get with my brother, go to first base second hell probably all the fucking way with him and I'm not even allowed to touch you for that long! Fuck you bitch!' Every time he wished he hadn't listened to it, but he kept going back to it. More than anything it was to hear his voice, though it didn't have much comfort. Every few hours or so Michael came in with a glass of water, once or twice a bit of food but Cas didn't touch it. It was six o'clock now and Michael had been patient all day. The police phoned so he had most of the information, but he needed to hear it from Cas get the full picture.

"Castiel." He softly said as he perched on the side of his bed. "Cas the police phoned. It is true what they said." Cas nodded but said nothing. "You want to talk about it?" Cas shook his head. "At least let me put something on those cuts, they look awful." Cas didn't say anything, he moved instead, crawling out of the cover and laid like a cat half on Michaels lap as he cried, Michael comforting the boy as he trembled and sobbed. This was going to be a long night he thought.


Castiel woke up Tuesday morning still being held by Michael, he felt protected, it was a good feeling. After waking Michael they ate breakfast after another phone call to work Michael had another day off. Instead of driving Cas to school. Michael was driving to the police station; he had a statement to give.

Dean woke up Tuesday feeling sick to his stomach with worry, he was going to school today, he was going to see Cas today. He had been phoning and texting Cas all day yesterday but got no response so decided to risk it and go to pick him up. He got ready and came down stairs keys in hand. He shot a glance to Sam.

"Don't even think about getting a lift from me." Dean announced to the room in a harsh cold tone and put a knot in Sam's stomach, John stood up and told his son that.

"Well if your not going to take Sam, there's no point in driving,so there's no point in having a car, period." Dean guessed this was supposed to be a threat but really Dean didn't care, if it meant being away from Sam.

"Fine, I'll walk." Dean told his father after he tossed him the keys. John rolled his eyes and called after his son just as Dean got to the door.

"Wait, don't be stupid, here." John threw the keys back after a quick glance to his mum and dad he left the house leaving Sam to mope into his cereal. John figured he could hardly blame Dean for behaving how he was, so took it on himself to take Sam to school for the foreseeable future.

Dean hopped into his car and sped of, nervous as he was, he couldn't wait to see Castiel, he missed him though was sure he would break his heart once the truth was known. Dean got to Michael's place just in time to see Cas about to climb into his brother's car, his eyes puffy his face scratched and bruised. Dean's heart both sunk and broke at the same time as it started to beat a mile a minute when he saw Cas like that. Cas looked over as he opened the door, blue eyes shoot into Dean's green ones, the gaze was heavy and awkward both reeling in guilt from their actions on Sunday. Without a word or a smile Cas got into Michaels car and drove off leaving Dean feeling deflated. He assumed Michael was driving his brother to school, he was wrong. Michael turned to go to the opposite direction. A confused Dean pulled out his phone when he got to school and park and dialled for Cas, voice mail.

"Dammit." Dean mumbled as he went to class, he tried to call Cas after each class and non stop through lunch, not caring that he was now reaching stalker territory.

"Hey man, you alright?" Jo asked clipping him on the shoulder at the end of the day as he got out his last class.

"I'm fine Jo." He told her not looking her in the eye.

"really? Because you don't seem yourself, neither you nor Cas do." Chuck interupted standing behind Jo, holding Becki's hand.

"we're fine." Dean snapped at his friends and felt bad about hit instantly it wasn't their fault.

"I'm just trying to be a friend okay we all are, you and Cas have been acting, strange. We've all noticed." Jo said gestured to the two behind herwho nodded. Jo stopped and took a breath before she asked the next question. "Is it his dad?"

"I don't want to talk about that Jo. Please." the girl nodded and Becky reassured Dean.

"You know we're here if you need us right?"

"Thank you." They gave each other weak smiles before Jo squeezed his arm and they all left him alone, Dean instantly turned and bolted out the door and towards the impala. As Dean opened the car door, his eye caught Sam's who was walking with a friend, Dean gave his baby brother the meanest look he could, it was pretty bad Sam's friend had to look away, after a few moments and when Deans point was made he sped of in his car.

"What was all that about?" a shorter boy with black hair asked.

"Nothing Jim, just had a fight."

"One hell of a fight" the boy remarked before they kept on walking. Sam's heart ached he hated it went him and Dean weren't talking, they had fights before they were brothers of course they had. But this was different Dean seemed to really hate him, not that he could blame him he hated himself. The boy had to push away the tears he felt beginning to swell as he continued to talk and joke with his friend like nothing had happened.


Dean drove to Cas' things needed to be sorted, he didn't know if he could get through another day feeling the way he did. He knocked loudly, and a few moments later Cas appeared in the door way. They looked at each other and although both were in the wrong, they couldn't help but smile at the other. Dean stepped into Cas' bubble of personal space and cupped his cheek.

"What the hell happened to you?" Cas shook is head and looked away, "Cas, you gotta talk to me man."

"My father." those words hit Dean like a ton of bricks. That he was not expecting.

"What?" Cas took as step forward past Dean removing their closeness keeping his back to the boy.

"Sunday evening, after, what happened. I tried to find you. Being drunk I don't know how I managed to wined up down town in an ally but I did." Castiel spoke staring at the floor, feeling foolish and not wanting to catch Dean's eye when he came and stood next to him, "He won't be hurting anyone again."

"You killed him?" Dean blurted out and asked before he had chance to stop himself.

"You think I'm capable of murder?" Cas' eyes shot up a little surprised and offended by the accusation.

"No, well I would have after everything."

"Well I guess that's the difference between us. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it and more but, he's my father I will always love him."

"So he's,"

"In custody. He's going to prison."

"Good." a thick silence fell between them, both needed to talk and get things of their chests.

"I'm so sorry Dean."

"No, I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I want to make it right." Cas smiled faintly as he heard how sweet Dean was being, it was him that has to make things right, he turned to face the taller by, stroked his cheek and captured Dean's lips in a chaste kiss before continuing.

"What have you done? It me was that, that. I'm so sorry I thought it was you. I thought." Tears started to swell in Cas' eyes that his speech became weirdly high pitched, Dean wrapped his arm around him, for what he hoped wouldn't be the last time.

"Shhh, shhh its okay, I know I know. Look there's something I should tell you." Dean froze for a second than sighed as he held Cas by the tops of his arms and looked into those gorgeous eyes he loved so much. "but first, I just need to know, do you love me?"

"Of course Dean." Cas answer like it was the simplest question in the world and of course at that moment it was.

"I love you too, just remember that." Dean proceeded to tell Cas about Chastity, he told him everything, not wanting any secrets. When Dean had finished, he was leading against the house looking at Cas, who was leaning again his door, he had fallen silent basically as soon as Dean had started, Dean finished a few minutes and Cas still hadn't said a word. "Cas I-" Cas lifted his had to stop Dean talking, the boy was shaking he was so angry, its only now Dean realised the tears Cas was hiding.

"I swear to god Dean, if you were about to say, 'sorry' I will kill you." Dean fell silent as he watched Cas for a moment.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't want you to say anything, you know what?" Cas looked to the boy before him and spoke coldly, in a way than gave Dean shivers, the bad kind. "I want nothing from you."

"Cas, please." Dean begged as his own tears started to fall.

"After everything we've been through, after all the pain. I thought we came out strong, I thought we had trust and loyalty, that we could handle anything, together."

"And we can,"

"No, we can't. We were never strong Dean, it was your decision to keep us quiet, even when all my family knew, when Mark and Sam knew still you refused to tell you parents. Did you honestly think your dad's reaction would be worse than mine? Even when he caught us you denied it!"

"It was just shock, he knows now, so its okay."

"It's not. You're ashamed to be gay Dean; you're ashamed of yourself, of me and how you feel. Tell me I'm wrong." There was a beat of silence before Cas continued. "I felt so bad about what I ,but I thought it was you and least I had the right gender!"

"I'm sorry." Dean sounded to meek and small compared to Cas' commanding voice as he shouted with strength he didn't know he had.

"You say your sorry and love me, but do you mean it? I can't trust anything that comes out of your mouth. Makes me wonder, would you have even told everyone at graduation? You probably would have come up with another excuse, oh wait of course you would have told them, I mean we were skipping town that night huh."

"It's not like that,"

"You're pathetic, and you know what? I deserve better than that. I never thought I was worth anything Dean, you made me realise that I am, that I owe it to myself to be happy, and that's down to you Dean, so thank you. For the first time in my life I know I deserve happiness, I deserve more. I am proud of who I am and, I deserve more than you. Goodbye Dean." Cas then went back inside the flat to cry his broken heart out, regretting his words as soon as the door was closed, he sat on the floor back up against the door, he couldn't make it to his room, his legs, everything felt weak.

"What? No, Cas, Cas! Please don't." Dean shouted and started to bang on the door, pleading for Cas to come back and for them to be alright again, he didn't know what he was supposed to do without Cas. "Please Cas! Take it back, come back to me! Don't leave Cassie, baby please, open the door! I'm not ashamed I'm not! I love you, please!"


One last appearance of Mr Novak, he's going to prison and he's going to be someone bitch! ;P Lol though he deserve worse, maybe the prisoners will kill him :D

So I didn't know whether to high five Cas for getting some self worth and respect for himself or cry for Dean for loosing his love because of a few stupid mistakes.

Anyway, I know it looks bleak but just hold on :)

Please review xxx