Chapter 29

It's nearly dawn by the time I arrive back home. The sun should start coming up any minute. I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically. In the last 24 hours I just had my worst day and most amazing night ever leaving my mind and body to feel the effects of the whirlwind my life has just been caught up in. I can't believe I just stayed out all night long without telling anyone where I was going. Not that I could've if I'd wanted too. There wasn't one single person I could safely tell about my excursion into the woods. Well, one person. Katniss is the only person I could safely tell and obviously I can't talk to her right now. Guilt creeps into my mind as I realize Gale and I were out in the woods, swimming, kissing, and having fun while our friend was fighting for her life in the arena. I'm not sure how we should feel. I'm terrified for her and want more than anything for her to come back home. But I am also enchanted with this newfound romance I have with Gale and I don't want to pull away from him just because of the Games. And I don't think Katniss would want us sitting around being miserable, not living our lives either. I'm not sure what she'll think about Gale and I as a couple. My hope is that when she comes back and she sees that Gale is still her best friend that she won't mind that I'm dating him. I would never stand in the way of their friendship and I do think that she would know that.

I push the thoughts of her opinion on Gale and I out of my mind. It can wait until she comes home. It can be figured out later. Right now, I need a shower and then I intend to sleep until it's time for the next viewing. I smell like lake water and I'm filthy from our long trek through the woods. If Mabel or my father were to see me right now, they'd know I'd left the fence. Luckily my father is still sleeping and Mabel hasn't arrived for the day yet. I peel away my navy dress and kick off my flats. My feet ache something terrible. The shoes I had on were not meant for hiking. Halfway to the lake I'd begun to feel blisters forming. I didn't complain though. It was so exhilarating being out there with Gale. And I was so curious as to where he was taking me. And it was worth every painful step once I saw that lake. I'd read about places like that. Seen pictures in old books even. However, no carefully worded description or photo could do justice to what the reality was. It was like something out of a fairy tale. The moonlight reflecting off the water gave it such a dreamlike effect. I'd loved it. It was so romantic. Gale had kissed me so intensely, so passionately and it stirred something deep within me. It was like I couldn't get enough of him, couldn't get close enough to him. It was utterly amazing.

I would have to do something about my feet though. Looking down at them I can tell the blisters will take awhile to heal. Both feet have been rubbed raw at the heels and over the tops by my toes. Even if I put ointment on them I think it'll be at least a week before they're better. The water stings them as I step into the shower. I'll have to come up with a valid excuse as to why my feet looked so battered. After I'd showered and erased all traces of woods and lake, I climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep.

Mabel woke me about an hour before the viewing. I'm still angry with her and my father and still not ready to deal with them so I'm cold and short with her when she makes an effort to talk to me. She seemingly understands and doesn't push me. Just lets me know that my lunch is on the table and excuses herself back to her work. I'm sure my father's already gone for the day so I don't worry about having to deal with him. I get dressed and meander downstairs. My sandwich is on the table with a pear and a glass of tea. Mabel isn't in sight but I assume she's trying to give me my space. Her kindness makes me feel bad about how I'm acting towards her but my anger over my mother hasn't subsided enough for me yet. After I eat, I decide to head over to town. It's still a little early for check in but I just need to get out of this house.

As I'm wandering over towards town I am intercepted by my father's secretary.

"Miss Undersee, I'm so glad I caught you! I called your house but Mabel informed me you'd already gone. I have a message for you from your father." She says as she hands me a note. I smile and thank her and watch as she scurries back inside the Justice Building. I take a seat on the bottom step of the building and stare down at the envelope. It's on official District 12 stationary. This is how my father attempts to communicate with me. Via note on his office letterhead. I know he doesn't mean to be impersonal but that's always how this feels. He hasn't even told me yet about my mother though I'm sure Mabel told him I found out on my own. Sliding my fingernail under the edge of the envelope, I break the seal and slide out the folded paper.

Madge,

We need to talk. Just the two of us. Please meet me at the Café for dinner following the viewing.

Love,

Father

I fold the note back up and drop it in the first wastebasket I see. I do not want to go to dinner with him. While I normally would relish in the chance at dinner alone with him, right now I just won't enjoy his company and would rather not go. I know I have no say in the matter though. I never do when it comes to things like this. I try not to let my mood show through and remind myself to smile and look pleasing as I proceed to the check in area.

Once I'm checked in I find the Hawthornes and join them in their row. Gale's eyes meet mine and we share a longing look with each other. I know we're both remembering our time alone last night. Both wishing we could be back at the lake, lost in our kisses again. It had taken everything we had to stop where we did, both of us had been lost in each other, lost in the moment. Posy makes herself at home in my lap and I love how this makes me feel included as part of their family. Hazelle seemingly knows we stayed out all night and so I'm a little embarrassed to look at her. She doesn't say anything about it though, just greets me with a warm smile.

We watch together as the screen flickers to life before us and hold our breath as we watch recaps of the events that have occurred since our last viewing. It isn't until I see that Katniss is still alive that I allow myself to breath. She's on her own and doing okay. Not great, but okay. Peeta is what shocks me though. He seems to have joined up with the Careers and is helping them as they go on the hunt for Katniss. It doesn't make sense and doesn't seem to fit. Peeta is not like the Careers. Not coldblooded. He's warm and kind. And he just professed his love for Katniss on national television. There has to be something missing. Something I do not understand or perhaps something the Gamemakers are editing out to make it look like the situation is different than it really is. That's the trouble with recaps. It's all edited by the Capitol and I don't trust them to give us an honest view of what's happening. Gale is like stone next to me. I can tell he's fuming mad at Peeta and trying desperately to hold it in. I gently place my hand on his knee to hopefully calm him but I keep my eyes on the screen. I don't think my hand helped though. When the viewing concludes, I tell Gale that I have to have dinner with my father and that I'll see him tomorrow. I can tell he's upset by the viewing and just wants to be alone anyway so maybe it's a good thing I can't be with him right now. He kisses the top of my head, whispers "I'll see you tomorrow." And then he disappears into the crowd.

I hope he can get out into the woods and calm down. I know he's worried about Katniss and I can't blame him. I'm worried too but she's like family to him. He feels the need to protect her and he's helpless at the moment. We're all helpless at the moment. That's the most painful part for those of us who aren't reaped. The helplessness you feel as you watch someone you know struggle and fight for his or her life.

When I arrive at the café I see my father has already arrived and is waiting patiently with his hands folded over each other atop the table. I slide into the seat across from him. He's seated us in a corner booth so it will be relatively private.

"Madge dear, thank you for joining me. Seems the two of us are long overdue for catching up with one another."

"Yes. Seems as if a lot has happened recently." I reply coolly.

"I know you're upset about your mother. Please know that wasn't the way you were intended to find out about it and I'm very sorry it happened as it did."

"So you're sorry about how I found out but not sorry that you just left her there to die?" I spit out as tears well up in the corners of my eyes.

"No, that isn't the case. There's much you do not understand." He reaches across the table and places his hand over mine. I pull mine back and place them in my lap instead. I don't want his comfort.

"Then explain it to me. Make it make sense that I was denied the dignity of saying goodbye to my mother before she was dumped into some Capitol facility!"

"Remember yourself Madge." My father says sternly. I nod, knowing that I've said too much. I can be angry all I want but I do need to remember my surroundings and my role.

"I just would have thought I'd been allowed to say goodbye." I say much more calmly after I've given myself a moment to breathe.

"It wouldn't have made it any easier. She was too sick Madge. She needs to be where they can care for her properly. Where she won't be in any pain."

"Can I visit where she's staying?" I ask hoping the answer isn't what I know it will be.

"It isn't a good time for that dear. I am so sorry you're hurting. Your mother does love you very much, I hope you know that." You can see the remorse in his eyes as he answers me.

"I started dating someone." I say, desperate to change the subject so that I don't fall apart into a sobbing mess.

"So I heard. Gale Hawthorne is it?" He says with one raised eyebrow.

"Yes, he's Katniss's friend. And I like him very much."

"Well, just be sure you mind yourself. Mabel tells me he's a good boy but I know he's spirited at times." I know what he means by "spirited". He means rebellious and he means it because of the fact that Gale goes into the woods to hunt. Most of the district knows it and my father is no exception. Everyone turns a blind eye to it though so long as he doesn't get too blatant about it.

I nod and our conversation relaxes a little. Over dinner we chat about my garden, his travels and other easy topics. We don't discuss my mother or the Games. We both can tell I'm far too emotional right now for that and don't want to risk my saying something that might be construed as rebellious. As I twirl the last bite of pasta onto my fork our dinner is interrupted by a Peacekeeper.

"Excuse me Mr. Mayor, terribly sorry to interrupt your dinner but you are needed at the Justice Building."

"Of course, thank you." My father says as he nods to him, excusing him back to his duties.

"Madge dear, I'm glad we were able to have dinner. We were long overdue. Please excuse me, duty calls." He says as he stands, wipes his mouth on a napkin and kisses the top of my head.

"Goodnight father." I say and give him a smile still somewhat sad. I may have eased up but I'm still hurting.

I'm about to get up and head home when a dish of peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream slides in front of me. I look at it and then look up. I hadn't ordered dessert. My eyes find Tripp Krull. Of course.

"Now you know I can't let you leave without having dessert. Peach cobbler made with a secret family recipe, guaranteed to be the best you've ever tasted. On the house, my treat." He says with a flirtatious grin.

"I couldn't, really. But thank you." I say, trying to decline as politely as possible.

"I insist." He says not taking no for an answer.

I figure the best thing I can do is just eat it quickly so I can leave. "I guess I can give it a try." I say as I spoon a bite into my mouth. Wow, he was right. This is really good. Sweet and bubbly hot with the flakiest cobbler crust I've ever had. I involuntarily sigh in delight.

"I knew you'd love it." He says laughing at my audible sigh.

"It is good, thank you." I laugh, cheeks pink with embarrassment.

"Mind if I join you while you finish up?" He asks as he sits down, not waiting for my response. I don't like it but I'm not sure what to do about it. I don't want to give him the wrong idea but I can't be rude either.

"Tripp, I don't know if you know this, but um, I'm seeing someone." I say awkwardly.

"Oh I know. Hawthorne, right? Have to say, he isn't the guy I would've pictured the Mayor's daughter with but hey, whatever makes you happy, right?" He says calmly but with a flicker of jealousy in his eyes.

"Well, Gale makes me very happy. I don't care if he's what people would've pictured for me." I say defensively.

"Well good. Everyone deserves someone who makes them happy. I just hope for your sake that he doesn't make you just another conquest of his. He kind of has a reputation you know."

"Tripp, I appreciate your concern but it's really none of your business." I feel my anger boiling up but I'm doing my best to control it and not make a scene.

"I'm sorry. Look, I didn't mean to upset you, really I didn't. I just saw you sitting over here and you looked kinda down. I know your friend is in the games and I figured you may be lonely is all." He says apologetically.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. And it was thoughtful of you to bring me the dessert."

"Are you lonely? Do you miss your friend?"

"I do miss her but I think she's doing great so far and I'm confident she'll be coming back home soon. She has a very good chance."

"Yeah, I bet she does. Mellark is surprising the hell out of everyone though. Did you know he had a thing for her?"

"No, I had no idea. Peeta and I didn't talk much and Katniss never mentioned him too me. I don't know if they even knew each other before the Games. I have no idea what's going on with them. Can't figure it out."

"Guess you never know who'll be attracted to who."

I rise from my seat having polished off the delicious cobbler. "Thanks again for dessert, it was just as delicious as you said it would be." I say, ignoring his last comment since I feel like it may be a jab at Gale and I.

"Glad you enjoyed it. Have a good night Madge." He says with a smile and a silly bow.

I smile back and exit the café and head back home. My feet kill me as I walk the short distance from the café to my house. I make a mental note that next time Gale and I go to the lake I need to have on proper shoes. Ah, next time. Just the thought of returning to the lake with Gale makes me smile and bite my bottom lip a little. The memories of last night flood back into my mind and I welcome them as I climb into my bed and drift off to sleep.