Katara could not help but feel that it was less important that she knew the moment, than the simple fact that she loved him.
Content Warning: One sibling uses their memoirs to tease the other. A standalone story.
December 29th â The Moment You Knew
"âĶI HAVE OFTEN BEEN ASKED, FAR MORE OFTEN THAN I COULD HAVE EVER IMAGINED, WHEN DID YOU KNOW? When did you know that you loved Zuko? The tone that this question has been asked in has often varied, from the sneered confusion of various high-born women of the Fire Nation in the days after the War to the awestruck sighs of their own granddaughters years later to the groaning eye rolls of my children when I decided to answer the question they had in no way asked. My favorite reaction, by far, will always remain the first, when I informed my brother of what had happened. He did not speak, merely gave a deep sigh of resignation, stood, went over to the Lady Toph, performed a handstand, and began singing a rather embarrassing tune.
"The Lady Toph has always been fond of suckering my brother into making ill-considered wagers.
"My answers, too have varied, depending on the audience. Marriage for love was unheard-of among the upper classes of the Fire Nation before the end of the War, so early on, when those high-born ladies asked, I would give a small speech on various political considerations, which seemed to satisfy them. To others, I would point to our time spent in Ba Sing Se before it fell or extoll Zuko's many virtues â both physical and emotional â or even bat my eyes in an enigmatic way and give no answer at all. My favorite answer, though, once again involves my brother. When he finally mustered the courage to ask, I told him that I knew I loved Zuko when I realized that loving the future Fire Lord would insure a lifetime of listening to my brother address me as Your Majesty.
"But, perhaps the best answer, the truest answer, if you will, was the one I gave to my father, when he and Avatar Aang brought the Tyrant back to the Fire Nation in chains.
"My father, to my surprise, did not object to the fact of the relationship itself. You're a young woman, he said, sitting in my drawing room (a type of room I had not even known existed mere days before), Zuko is a young man, there was a War on, these things happen, and our people have never seen the point in trying to still the gong when it's already been rung. Despite that, he still had many questions, many concerns. Many of them were reasonable, others less so, but he was my father and I loved him and I felt a need to address them as best I could.
"In the end, though, it all came down to a very simple question, one question to rule them all: Do you love him?
"I told him that I did. I told him that I loved Zuko so much it frightened me sometimes, that I loved Zuko so much that I broke down in tears every time I remembered that horrid, sinking feeling when he leaped in front of a lightning bolt for me and I thought that he was dead.
"Does he love you back?
"I said that he did.
"How do you know?
"I pointed out that the man had, after all, hurled himself in front of a lightning bolt.
"Surely he would do that for anyone.
"I laughed. Only a saint would do something like that for anyone, I said, and as much as I love Zuko, I am well aware that he is no saint.
"My father approved of that. He said that it showed maturity on my part. Naturally, the way he said it rankled me, but I understood what he was driving at.
"When did you know? he asked.
"The moment?
"Yes.
"I had to sit and think on that for what felt like a long while, running so many moments, both large and small, through my mind. I had almost settled on the Emperor's ball in Ba Sing Se, a month before the city fell, the first night that Zuko and I spent together, the first night of oh so many, but then I realized that, no, that wasn't it, was it? It was an answer, but it was not the answer.
"And in a flash, I knew what the answer was.
"There was no moment, I said, with what my father later described as the most wonderful of smiles. There was just a day when I realized that I was in love with him, had been in love with him all along, when I took a moment to think about it. There was no flash, no choir from on high, no god come to earth for the express purpose of guiding me to the truth.
"I just woke up, slowly, as if from a dream, only to realize that the dream was real, and it was more wonderful than I could possibly have imagined.
"And from that day until my last, I have never regretted it, never looked back.
"And it has been magnificent."
Excerpted from Out Upon the Stage: The Memoirs of the Fire Lady Katara
So, the first version of this story was...rather angry. I wrote it right after Christmas Eve, when my wife and I hosted our families for dinner and I was...let's just say that I was rather cross with our families. I ended up venting my frustration on Hakoda, which isn't entirely unfair, but it ended up being a story less about Zuko and Katara and more about my own frustrations with my parents. Long story short, I ended up sitting down last night and realizing that...well...maybe I could write something a bit less...full of rage.
I like what I came up with. I hope you like it, too.
Moving on! In tomorrow's episode, a surprise guest rises from the past to close out my favorite fan event. Stay tuned!
