I breathed in the air as deep as I could, letting my senses take over. Maybe if the animal came out, I could forget for a little while. So I took off running, unaware of where I was going to but completely aware that a four-legged Jacob wasn't far behind me. My hearing tuned in, my sense of smell heightened and my teeth were bared as I whizzed through the winter bare trees and took down my first victim. A doe who feel asleep easily in my grasp as her blood soothed every worry-filled crevice.
With each gulp I felt more aware of myself, more powerful and less sacrificial. Part of me may have the frailty of a human, but I was also part vampire and I'd be damned if I let people forget that. It was always easy to with Bella and Jake always around to protect me. But that was the very reason I went to college in the first place: to find independence separate from my family unit, to grow and be strong. Alright, I probably could not have fought against the frenzied, physical strength that Victoria attacked me with, but I could protect myself from the hurt and the confusion that had shrouded me the past few weeks. I could control my mind and alter my way of thinking so that it did not feel the need to bare my darkest fears at my weakest moment.
And I would. I would prove that I'm not the child everybody believed me to be by taking charge of my own life. But most importantly, I would be strong for my mom. Because with everything that the Cullens brought with their return, her worry was multiplied by me.
I was broken out of my internal pep talk by a prominent huff from my left. My giant russet wolf was approaching me cautiously, his head tilted in question.
I dropped the carcass of my meal sheepishly and let the hunter within me fade away as I looked into the black eyes of my forever. I stood up and made my way towards him. When I neared, I reached out and locked my fingers in his fur, holding myself close to him, letting him know in my own way that I was okay. I kissed his muzzle and let myself be. I was here. I was alive. He nuzzled into my neck making me smile contentedly.
After a few moments, I realised we should probably head back so Bella wasn't all alone. Our rapid escape meant we'd essentially fed her to the wolves. Jake snorted at my analogy, offended.
"Sorry," I chuckled. "But we should get back."
He nodded once then stood firm. I grinned and hopped on his back like I used to when I was small and he headed back towards the house. Luckily, we hadn't gone too far out.
Unluckily, Edward was outside waiting for us. Jake growled lowly. I flicked his ear affectively cutting off his grumble and shake his head in protest.
Edward only spoke when I had slipped off of Jacob's back: "Are you alright?"
I nodded.
"Your mom was worried about you – we all were," He told me.
"Where is she?" I demanded.
"Still upstairs. After you went outside, she asked for a moment alone."
With nothing further to say, I walked towards him so I could go inside and find Bella. As we got closer, he caused me to pause my step.
"We wouldn't take you away from her," he assured me. "I'd never do that."
I frowned at him, confused.
"Your dream," he clarified.
Of course he was watching.
At least he had the decency to look sheepish.
He continued: "I wouldn't hurt you, or her like that."
Jake snorted loudly, catching me off guard. Edward's eyes saddened fleetingly before he resituated his neutral mask.
"Not that you could separate us, but that wasn't what my dream was about," I levelled with him.
Now he frowned.
"Mom could be free of you if it wasn't for me. Because of me, she'll always be tied to you."
Speaking it aloud did little to combat the overwhelming sense of guilt I felt. My mom was hurt because of these people and she was hurting still because of her constant reminder…me.
"That's not your fault, you know," Edward replied.
"I know."
I did know it had nothing to do with me really. I was certain of Bella's love for me and knew that she was thankful every day that something worthwhile came out of the shitstorm they had brewed.
The slight pitch of his left eye was the only indication that he had heard that underlying thought.
With that, I walked passed him and re-entered the house. As I walked through the door, I saw Bella walking down the stairs at human speed. I smiled up at her and she smiled back.
"Can we go home now I'm well again?" I begged.
She continued toward me, smirking affectionately, and tucked my hair behind my ear. Something in her trail of thought lead elsewhere and her smile slowly morphed into a frown that then ignited a fire in her eyes.
"Home isn't safe at the moment, Ness," she told me calmly. "There are too many new-borns roaming around."
My shoulders slumped, failing to hide my disappointment.
Attempting to reason her, I said: "Only one was at the house though, and because you were here, you weren't there to protect Charlie, so it makes sense that we go home."
She shook her head then took my hand and led me to the couch, sitting me down with her, "There was more than one, Ness. They've been appearing more frequently since you were attacked."
"There's a killing spree coming too in Seattle," Alice inputted from across the room.
Bella looked at her, "it's going to get worse…"
Alice nodded grimly.
Bella sighed then turned back to me, "We think it's Victoria."
I felt like I had been slapped, "Huh?"
"Jasper has seen this before," Bella explained. "He thinks she's creating an army to try and overpower us."
"An army?" I turned to Jasper incredulously.
He stepped forward, "Vampires are at their most powerful in their first year, they're volatile and fiercely strong. Vampires created new-born armies to take over patches. My belief is that Victoria wants to create enough to distract us, leaving you vulnerable for her to kill you as revenge."
"So she'll keep sending more until she finally gets me." I turned back to my mom, "That's why you sent Grandpa to La Push."
She nodded.
"Well then let's go to La Push, the pack is there. With us there too we can stop them." I reasoned.
"You can't," Jake said, having shifted back to his human self. I snapped my head to him, an overwhelming sense of betrayal deflating my gut. "Nessie, I'd take you there myself, but if the new-borns are coming here and to your house then the bloodsuckers are using you or Bella as their target. They'll be using your scent. Sam won't have you in La Push if it endangers our tribe."
That made sense.
"Besides, the treaty still applies to us. We wouldn't be able to protect you if you stayed there," Edward added.
"So then, what?" I threw my hands up, "We stay put and wait?"
"No," Bella said. "I'm going to go after Victoria, and you're going to stay here."
I felt the blood drain from my face, "You're leaving me?"
She put her hands on either side of my face, "I'm protecting you."
I yanked myself from the couch and screamed at her: "And who's going to protect you?!"
She stood up as Jasper spoke from my side, "Me."
I didn't look at him, still glaring at my mother.
"Bella and I will go and track Victoria and kill her before she creates this epidemic," he explained. "We're counting on the fact that Victoria doesn't know we are on to her yet, which means we can launch a surprise attack."
"And when was this decided?" I demanded.
Bella shared a look with Jasper. An understanding passed between them then she turned back to me, "Right now."
As my anger piqued, others caught wind of what was being discussed and interjected at lightning speed. Some were for the plan, others were wholeheartedly against it. Between them they debated staying and waiting, or surprising her; compared what the strategies would be and the likely outcomes – both best case scenarios and the worst. The forefront of the argument was the idea that Bella and Jasper would go alone and everyone else would stay behind.
Edward in particular was the one who fought the strongest against them going alone.
"It's a ridiculous idea, you'll be severely outnumbered," he fumed.
"We'll be able to handle them, Edward, they're unpredictable so they'll make mistakes easily and if we go now she won't have a chance to create enough to outnumber us in the first place," Jasper reasoned.
"It will work, Edward," Alice reassured. I could only assume she'd seen the outcome which put me at ease a little.
He shook his head defiantly at whatever Jasper and Alice's thoughts were.
Jake snorted, "Does someone want to explain for the non-intrusive people?"
"Edward wants to go with them but it would get them all killed," Alice told the room. "He and Bella would be too focused on protecting each other…"
Bella let out a puff of air as if she'd been hit and looked at the floor.
"He's got a point though," Jake began. I snapped my head to him, baffled that he'd ever agree with Edward on something. "Even one more body would help. If he can't go then what about the big guy, or one of my pack."
Jasper shook his head, "If more of the family leave, Victoria will suspect something is wrong and we'll lose the element of surprise; if the wolves go, the same will apply only Alice won't be able to monitor what's going on."
Bella stood up from the couch. "It has to be us," she said with finality.
My heart broke. "I don't want you to go – it's too dangerous."
She drew me into her chest in a hug, "Honey, I don't want to be away from you either but I'm the best person to go because she wouldn't expect me to leave you. If we're right then she's going to be using you as bait so you need to stay here where you're protected."
"When do you leave?" I asked timidly.
She pulled back and looked me dead in the eye before whispering: "We leave tonight."
-o0o-
And they did.
Bella kissed me goodnight and by morning she had gone.
I woke up as I did every day and padded downstairs in my bed clothes to make breakfast. On my way, Carlisle was stood at his office door to offer me good morning; Alice was at the stairs between the first and second floor; Emmett was leant against the back of the couch; Rosalie was at the entryway of the kitchen; finally, Esme was at the stove pouring batter in a frying pan – a plate of pancakes sat on the counter to her left. Each person offered me a cheerful 'good morning' as I passed by them but it felt too clinical, too calculated and instead of appearing friendly, as was their intention, it made me uncomfortable.
I mumbled a good morning as I hovered between the doorway where Rosalie stood and the island in the centre of the kitchen. Esme moved the final pancake onto her ready-to-go pile and brought the plate over to the island with a knife and fork.
"I hope you're hungry," she declared with a flourish and a smile.
I wanted to say no so I could retreat, but my stomach growled, preventing the fib. With reluctance, I took my seat on the stool in front of the plate.
Rosalie came into the kitchen and between her and Esme, my choice of toppings were brought to me – whipped cream, maple syrup, bacon, and to my dismay, a bowl of blueberries.
"Carlisle says you need fruits to keep your sugar levels up," Esme explained. She stood by the counter looking at me expectantly.
I pushed the bowl away slightly, "Thank you, but I don't like blueberries."
I looked down at my plate to avoid her penetrative gaze, waiting for them to leave before I started eating. But they just stood there. Were they going to stay and watch me eat?
"What she'd appreciate is some breathing room," Edward spoke from behind me. "Can you not see how tense this is making her?"
I didn't move my gaze lest I get asked a question. From my peripheral I saw him come next to me. He switched the bowl of blueberries for a bowl of strawberries that were cut lengthways in quarters – exactly how Bella cut them up for me.
"How did you…" I looked at him astonished.
"Exactly like your mom," He offered.
It was strange to see someone I considered a complete stranger know intricate details about my family. I wasn't sure how I felt about it – especially when it was Edward.
Edward took the bowl of blueberries to the fridge. Esme followed his example and began to wash the dishes, Rosalie hovering to help her. Although they hadn't actually left the room, at least they were leaving me alone.
Edward returned and picked up the newspaper. "Eat," he commanded. He watched me until I picked up my fork then he turned to the first article and let me be.
I scooped some whipped cream onto my pancakes then drizzled some maple syrup across the pile before taking a handful of the strawberries and sprinkling them onto my pancakes and dug in.
I had barely eaten half before Alice came in and the three women turned to me simultaneously.
"So, Nessie," Alice began on their behalf, "What do you want to do today?"
I took another bite of my food and shrugged.
"Come on… we could go shopping, or watch a movie; whatever you want."
I placed my cutlery on my unfinished plate, "I'd rather be alone today."
"We just want to get to know you, and a girls' day would be the perfect opportunity–"
I stood up and took my plate with me, scrapping the contents into the trash and taking my plate to the sink. Before I even had a chance to clean it myself, Esme was at my side taking it from my hands.
I huffed but bit my tongue, seething quietly. If she would not let me clean my own mess then there was no need for me to stay here. I simply turned and walked away, too wired up to remember my manners.
"Okay, so no to the girls' day. I should've known, your mom wasn't really into that either," Alice spoke as she and Rosalie followed me out of the kitchen. "How about hunting, or for a run someplace?"
I turned on them abruptly, "Look, this isn't some extended holiday stay for me. It isn't 'Dad's weekend'," I spat sarcastically. "If I had any choice, I wouldn't be here, I'd be in my own home with my mom. But I can't have either one of those things. I can't forget that she's away in a dangerous situation, so when I say I want to be alone, I mean it. I'm not a child who needs constant attention; I'm a woman who would rather be by myself than around all of this." I wafted my hand to the two of them.
I ran up the stairs and to my temporary room, slamming the door behind me. There was no lock on it – not that it would be an issue for them anyway. I settled for securing the desk chair under the door handle. Hopefully that would be enough of a sign for them to keep out.
I threw myself onto the bed and buried my face into the pillow and screamed. If I didn't scream, I'd cry and I'd had enough of doing that.
I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and called my mom. No answer.
I collapsed back into my pillow and punched it as hard as I could a few times before taking it in my hands and ripping it in two. The sound of tearing cotton satisfied me enough to pause and take breath, allowing me to hear the whimper that sounded from outside. I discarded my destruction and ran to the open window.
"Hey Seth," I said to the agitated wolf trotting beneath my window. He moaned again and I told him I was fine. His presence immediately calmed me and made me feel safe.
"How's my Grandpa?"
He snorted, took a playful jump backwards then titled his head to the side. I took that as a good sign.
A much larger wolf came out of the trees behind him. Seth jumped enough that all four paws lifted off the ground before he caught himself and turned to his alpha. They had a silent communication before Seth looked back up to me and scurried away into the trees. I waved to him in goodbye.
Jake watched him until he'd passed by, then turned back to me at my window. He grinned wolfishly, so I blew him a kiss. In return he winked and then he was gone.
It was all I needed to remind me that I had friends surrounding me here. I could get through this.
-o0o-
A week had gone by with no contact from Bella or Jasper. Alice assured everyone that they were fine. She was watching. But that didn't deter my anxieties. As my worry and tension increased, so did my short temper. I had grown so impatient of the Cullens and their insistence that I spend time with them. Although my message on our very first morning was received, it hadn't been applied. Instead, their tactics changed and now Carlisle and Emmett had become involved. Every day there would be a flurry of suggestions to do something or conversation openers that I had no desire to be part of. The only person who seemed to understand my need for personal space was Edward. But either he wasn't sharing his observations with the rest of the family, or they were ignoring his suggestions. Even so, I found myself sitting in comfortable silence with him often.
The proverbial floodgates opened yesterday, however, when their antics became too much to endure. And today I was wallowing on that memory, refusing to even come out of my room.
The Cullens needed to hunt, as did I, so I finally agreed to their suggestion to go hunting as a group – a 'family' as they said. It was decided that we would hunt close to the Canadian border as there were larger populations of animals around the mountains there. That way, there would be enough for everyone and fighting over prey could be avoided when our instincts took over.
On the way there, I noticed Emmett overtake me a little and because of my current mental state, I decided I didn't like it so I pushed until I was back in front of him.
He pushed forward again.
So did I.
This continued silently and suddenly we were in an unspoken race, both of us fast and determined. When we got to our destination, I was exhilarated, my heart thundering against my ribcage and energy coursing through me.
Emmett stopped abruptly at the clearing, held his arms out to his side and declared, "I win."
I laughed. A full blown belly laugh that he joined in with.
"This time. You win this time." The promise of a rematch hanging in the air.
Edward drew up next to us a few seconds later. "Nice race," he chuckled.
When the others arrived, their faces were delighted. And that was the point that everything changed. Because in their infinite wisdom, they thought that because of what I had just shared with Emmett everything between us all was suddenly peachy.
So when I took down my first kill, a rather large mountain lion, one of them actually had the audacity to clap and say, "Well done, Nessie."
Still in a feral mindset, I rounded on them a growled, "This isn't my first hunt, don't treat me like a child."
When I had drained the animal, I took off back towards the house. I didn't need as much blood as a vampire and the size of my kill sated my thirst.
Since then I had been locked in my room. No one tried to coaz me out but they didn't give me the type of privacy I craved as every hour someone would purposely walk past the door.
I just wanted some normalcy. Something that was easy like before the Cullens appeared. I wanted fishing with Charlie, wrestling matches with Embry, Seth sharing his latest antics around a bonfire, doing homework with mom, sitting at the garage with Jake as he tinkered with a car, something that didn't involve hunting or fights or being in this place that had nothing of me in it. In my despair, I thought over my possibilities: the only person I definitely couldn't have in that equation was my mom but I could have the others – they were all in one place!
As soon as the thought entered my mind, I had jumped out the window, landed with a dull thud on the dried up dirt and took off to the direction of La Push. I couldn't risk being conflicted. Without my mom there to protect my thoughts I had no idea whether Edward was listening in or not. Although, in my haste to escape, I was louder than I wanted to be. It wasn't as if I'd be gone long – I'd go back before nightfall – but I needed to get away from that house for a few hours; it was suffocating.
Keeping my senses alert just in case, I felt hopeful as I neared the treaty line. But then I heard footsteps behind me. I'd been noticed. I pushed myself faster, constantly aware that the footsteps were getting nearer and nearer. As the treaty line got closer, so did my chaser and at the very last second I managed to skid over the treaty line.
I let out a startled breath as I lay on the cold ground, my shoe encased in mud as the speed of my skid had dug deeper than average. I rolled over into a crouch and looked at Edward's heated gaze as he danced along the treaty line, conflict marring his face.
"Renesmee Swan, come back over the line," he demanded.
In that moment he sounded like a father.
"No," I told him defiantly.
"There is no room for discussion, don't think I'm not scared to cross this line." He pointed to the invisible line that ran between us.
Growls vibrated among the trees and leaves rustled creating a soundscape of intimidation. Edward tensed, ready to fight as five wolves appeared from the trees in a formation behind me.
I stood my ground and raised my brow, calling his bluff.
Only he wasn't bluffing. My heart lurched to my throat as he took a step forward to cross the line. I propelled myself forward at the same time as Paul lunged for him. I tackled Edward to the ground with a garbled 'NO' flying from my mouth. We hit the floor with a smack and I braced myself against Edwards' chest anticipating Paul's claws at my back. They never came because in that same moment, a ferocious snarl filled the air and two wolves collided. Paul let out a whimper. I turned to see Jake, who had appeared from seemingly nowhere, poised in front of me snapping his teeth.
"Are you okay?" Edward asked intimately. I nodded, keeping my eyes trained on Jake until I felt a hand wrap around my arm. He had me.
"Please," I begged as he pulled me up to standing. "I can't be in that house, I need a break away from them."
"Nessie, we can't protect you here."
"But they don't get it. They don't leave me alone and I've had enough. I appreciate you looking out for my safety but they are relentless. It's like every time I push them away they try to come back at me harder. I hate it. I wasn't running away, I swear, I just needed some me time with people who actually know me."
Although I said this aloud, I begged in my thoughts too. He could see it wasn't me being stubborn, the way I was being treated was not like anything I had experienced and it wasn't a change I was willing to make, especially not when I was worrying about my mom. Solitariness was my solace; silence was how I coped. Constant talking and cushioning was not for me.
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. A tell for when he was stressed that I realised was my tell too.
His hand halted on his scalp. He looked at me, a soft smile playing at his lips, "What if there was somewhere else I could take you? Somewhere that wasn't in the house but still close enough that we could all protect you?"
My entire body relaxed. "Lead the way."
Where do you think he's taking her? Let me know in your review! I love hearing your opinions and what you think :D
We only have about 3 or 4 chapters to go so long as I stick to my plan. I WILL get this story completed before the end of the year. Part of the reason it has taken so long is because I want to get other stories written.
I have a Christmas fic completed which will go live in December then in the new year I want to start publishing another. As I have many ideas, a poll is open for you to vote for what AH story you would like: a high-school drama that tests a relationship, a cute family romance with kiddies involved or a angsty historical fic that may or may not have a HEA?
GO AND VOTE.
