Disclaimer: See chapter 1
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Lloyd Graham reread the Father's Day card he'd gotten from Allie and Spencer. It had been accompanied by two tickets for two Red's games in July. Spencer had written beneath the verse, Dad, I've booked vacation for those days. We can have a weekend of baseball and chess in Cincinnati, Spencer. Lloyd smiled, he loved the Reds, he loved chess and he loved his son-in-law, he couldn't think of a better gift.
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Spencer Reid was lying in bed with his eyes tightly closed. He was awake but his eyes seemed glued shut and he had to admit he had no desire to open them. His hand felt the bed next to him but the sheets were cold, Allie was long gone. It had been very late when their plane had landed after a tough case in Hoboken. He'd been beat when he'd finally crawled into bed next to Allie. He slowly coaxed one eye open to bright sunlight streaming beneath the drawn shades. His eyes, eventually adjusting to being awake, fell on the alarm clock atop the nightstand which said 10:30 am. He supposed he really should get up. He threw back the covers and headed for the bathroom.
Allie heard her husband in the bathroom, he was up at last, she thought as she whisked the batter for the waffles he loved. She quickly arranged things for Spencer's arrival in the kitchen. Moments later, clad in his tee shirt and sleep pants, his hair darting in every direction, he entered the room. "Good morning honey," she said as she leaned in to kiss him, "Happy Father's Day."
Spencer looked bewildered for a moment. Father's day was something he hadn't thought about since his father had left when he was ten. He still remembered Mother's Day because of his mother but Father's Day had always slipped by unnoticed. Allie had reminded him about it a couple of weeks ago and he'd chosen what he hoped was a thoughtful gift for his father-in-law but since then it had completely slipped his mind. Perhaps it's that he didn't want to be reminded of his own father. "Oh, I'd forgotten all about it," he said, kissing his wife again.
"Well we didn't forget about it," she gestured to Joanna who was in her carrier, wearing a little pastel pink tee shirt that proclaimed in bright hot pink letters that she was Daddy's Little Girl. She held something very small and gift wrapped in her tiny hands with long fingers just like her Daddy's. Her little hands waved around and she squealed with delight when she saw her father.
Spencer smiled as he read the tee shirt, "Hello my precious one," he bent down to kiss his daughter. "Is this for me?" The baby continued to goo at him. Spencer undid the wrapping to reveal a gold tie pin, a replica of the flag. "Thank you sweetheart," he kissed Joanna again eliciting another squeal.
"Look at the back," Allie said.
Spencer turned the pin over and on the back was engraved, For Daddy, Love Joanna. He swallowed, "I'll treasure this always," he said choking on the words.
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William looked again at the card that had come in the mail from Evan and reread the accompanying letter that filled him in on all the happenings in his teenage son's life.
Hi Dad,
I hope you're doing okay. Things are good here and school is going well. Things are great with Bethany but her parents are shuttling back and forth between Washington and Minnesota. They're in election mode and even though it's only June, they're campaigning for November. Once school's over Bethany will have to go back home and help with the campaign. What if Senator Cramer doesn't win in November? What if Bethany has to go back to Minnesota? I try not to think about it.
Spencer has been really busy lately at work. I was over there last weekend and we watched a Star Trek marathon. I still laugh at Spencer with Joanna. He's great with her, which surprised me because I thought he'd totally freak out but he hasn't at all. Spencer's funny that way, he can look a gruesome crime scenes and not blink but some simple thing can freak him out big time. Anyway, I'm still kind of leery of Joanna. She's so little and I'm always afraid I'll hurt her so I kind of look and don't touch. She sure loves Spencer though. Man you should see how she squeals when she sees him.
I hope you have a good Father's Day Dad. I know it can't be really happy where you are but try to have a good day.
Love Evan.
William's thought shifted to his other son. He hadn't heard from Allie since she wrote him that Joanna had been born. He supposed now that Spencer knew about the letters they would stop.
"Hi professor," Chico said as he sat down beside William in the lounge. "What are you doing?" William explained that he was looking at his Father's Day card from Evan. "That's nice professor," Chico replied and then he was quiet for a long time but William sensed he had something to say. Finally he spoke, "I never had a father. I don't even know who my father is but I know if I had a dad, I'd want him to be like you."
"Oh no Chico, you wouldn't want a father like me. I left my older son when he was a little boy. I wasn't there for him and he suffered so much because of it. If that wasn't enough, I blamed my weakness on him and struck out to hurt him. He'll never forgive me and I can't say I blame him."
"My abuella, she's very wise, you know and you know what she always says?" William shook his head. "She says never say never." Chico squeezed William's shoulder and got up and left the lounge.
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Allie stood silently in the doorway of Spencer's office. They had phoned her father who had been delighted with the idea of a weekend in Cincinnati with Spencer. Then Spencer had come down here while she had spoken to her mother. She watched as her husband stared at the picture of him and his father. She'd known when she couldn't find it that he'd taken it but had decided not to mention it.
Spencer suddenly startled, aware of his wife's presence and fumbled with the desk drawer as he attempted to hide the picture but before he could a soft hand stopped him and picked up the photograph, "It's a nice picture," she said, "happy times." Spencer found himself unable to speak so he just nodded. "You look so triumphant and your Dad looks so proud."
"It was the first time I'd beaten him," Spencer choked on the words, struggling to hold back the tears. "He never let me win like most fathers."
Allie took her husband's hands, "Because he had faith that you could do it on your own, without his help.
"It h..hurt so much when he left," Allie could see his eyes beginning to water.
"I know it did. You loved him. But remember, he gave you ten years of his life and he may have been a coward for leaving but if William Reid ever did one right thing it was that he helped to make you strong and when he left he had faith that you were strong enough to get through whatever came your way and he was right. I know you want to hate him and punish him and I don't blame you. I did too at first but, like I told him in one of my letters, I couldn't hate him because he gave you to the world and you, and now Joanna, are what is most precious in the world to me. I want to ask you to think about something.
"What's that?" he asked as he squeezed her hands.
"Okay, I'm not a profiler but what did you and Gideon always do together, besides work, I mean?" she asked.
"We played chess," he responded.
"And what do you and my father always do together?"
"Play chess," he said again.
Allie nodded, "I think that playing chess with your father was so important to you that even after all these years, it's still something you do with men who are father figures in your life. If you truly hated your father, you would think it would be the opposite, that you'd avoid playing chess because of the memories it held. But I really think chess is a way of keeping a part of your dad with you even if you don't want to admit it, even to yourself." She wiped a tear that had escaped from his eye, picked up the picture and placed it back in his hands. "I'll leave you alone for a while."
