CHAPTER 24 'A TU CORAZÓN'


9.30 pm, Male Dormitory, Zootopia Police Academy

It had been a week since the gang came back to their usual routine. Nick and Judy went back doing their police works, and Ryan and Star were back to the academy preparing for the final exam. Every day during a week seemed to be the same, exercise at daybreak, field training in the late morning, and lecture in the afternoon. However, there was one thing that made each day different. It was the distance between Ryan and Star which kept growing.

As for now, it was the last day off before a week of cramming for the exam. And, Ryan chose to stay in the dorm, on his bed, studying.

His body refreshed as he just finished his shower after having the morning jogging, but his mind kept distracted somehow. No matter how hard he tried, he could not keep his mind focusing on reviewing.

"10-20… Err…" Ryan mumbled as he closed his eyes, trying to memorize the police codes. "It must be… Call?"

Then, he opened his eyes and looked into a list of the codes. His face began to show an unsatisfied look as it was wrong. "D'oh… it's Advise to location," he softly groaned. "I gotta restart all over again…"

"10-1, Bad reception. 10-2, Signal good," he began again from the top of the list with his eyes closing.

His method of memorizing was to recite every ten codes without looking and check whether they were correct or not. If not, he had to restart from the beginning again. If so, he would continue another ten codes until he could perfectly remember them all, or back to the top again if he failed one.

"10-9… Repeat… 10-10…" he began to hesitate, could not concentrate as his mind caught up in something that had happened last week.

"Gahhh… what happen to me?" groaned Ryan, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand and rubbing across his face.

19 codes… I just remembered only 19 codes, and there is a ton of them left, he thought, rolled over, and lied on his back, looking at the emptied ceiling.

Why it has to be me? He then laid his hand on his forehead, closed his eyes, and let out a sigh.

Why this kind of thing has to happen to me again… Ryan began to remind himself of the short moment that had happened last week while they were on the way back to their tents.


A week before, at the campsite, Bunnyburrow

"Do you… do you like me?" softly asked the black panther in a cracking tone, causing her partner to freeze in surprise.

If Ryan tried to pretend to be a mannequin, he was the one as he stood still with a blank look, no movement occurred. His face froze in shock and continued to keep it, in the same that his mind was empty like it was shut off.

Both of them stood still under the starry night, letting the time passed as Star was waiting for his response. She fought not to tremble or wag her tail at the awkward silence that lay between them. But, she failed. Her paws began to shake nervously as she raised and looked at them. And now, her fidgetiness increased when she noticed how long it was taking him back to his sense.

"R-Ryan?" she stated in a voice that trembled a little, waving her paw at him. "Are you okay?"

His eyes began to blink, his mind came back, he jerked his head back and looked away, rubbing the back of his head. "Oh! Uh… Sorry, I'm spaced out."

"Didn't you just say, it wouldn't make you shocked anyway, huh?"

"Hehe…" Ryan chuckled nervously, "That was not what I expected from you… really."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Do you…" Star paused, looked at him again closely, cleared her throat and repeated, "Do you like me?"

The awkward silence enveloped both of them again. Ryan looked back at his partner with the feeling of uncomfortable inside him. He actually knew what was the answer that she hoped. But, the question was that whether he did have the same feeling as her or not.

But, he was so sure for one thing, it was that he was not ready for this. And, if he declined her feeling, he would not know what would happen between them. However, he did not want to force himself to please her hope, which would cause problems later.

As much as he wanted to keep their relationship like this until he could forget or overcome his past, but the black panther who stood in front of him did want the answer right now. Then, it was time for him to reply carefully and clearly for their sake. "Well, uh… I… I'm gonna say that… I don't dislike you… Okay?"

"I know, I could see that," she nodded slowly in understanding. "But, I wanna know If you have the feeling for me in… positive way or not…"

"Star…" Ryan sighed. "I'm sorry… I-"

"Oh…" she softly exclaimed, interrupting him. "You didn't mean…"

"Hey hey, don't get me wrong…" He walked up to her and gently grabbed her paws, holding them. "You know what, I don't know what I'd do without you… I'm so thankful that I met you. You've treated me so right, and I don't want to take you for granted. But, I'm not ready for this kind of relationship… My heart is still closed, and I don't want to take another step if I'm still in this state. It'll cause more problems, and we might not be able to look at each other again."

As he saw his partner looking down to the ground, avoiding his eye contact. Ryan lifted her chin up with his right hand, looking into her ocean blue eyes, saying, "When I'm ready for it, and hopefully, you still have the feeling for me, on that day, I'll be the one to ask you out."

"What if I don't have any feeling left for you?" she quickly asked in a voice that sounded somewhat sorrowful.

"It means that I'm not worthy for you," he answered promptly and plainly as his hands released her. "And, that's completely my fault for being selfish."

Star did not say any word further as she understood. But, the sensations unsettled her. She gazed up into his onyx black eyes with a disheartened look, feeling giddy. Seeing Ryan literally stood in front of her, just within reach, but somehow, her feeling told her that he was getting far away. Now, she could feel the distance between them had just begun.

As Ryan noticed his partner started to sadden, he added another reason, "Also, we have an examination coming up, and I think we don't want it to distract us from studying, right?"

"But, It's already happened…" said the black panther, her voice trailing off weakly as if she was going to cry.

"I know…" he soothed as he took a pace toward her, just an inch between them. "It starts bugging us now, but we'll get through this, alright?"

"Alright…" was the only reply from Star before her eyes widened in surprise as Ryan pulled her into him, wrapping her with his arms.

He held her tightly for a moment until he received a faint hug from his partner in response, then he softly said to her after they parted, "Thanks for understanding, Star. Goodnight."


Present

And, it's completely bugging me right now, he thought, half opening his eyes. I hope it hasn't been bothering her as well.

As his gaze was locked at the emptiness before him, he tried to calm himself down and continue his studying. But, his uncomfortable feeling that resided inside his chest began to sprout again, making him wanted to rip his chest open, delved into his heart and threw the annoying feeling away.

"What should I do?" Ryan mumbled in discouragement.

Maybe I should do something besides reviewing right now, he mused, massaging his bridge. Something that clear my head and feeling… Well, today is a day off, maybe I should go outside or…

Then, he picked out his smartphone and rolled himself onto his stomach, turning on his phone and clicking on the message app. His thumbs pressed down on the on-screen keyboard fluently, typing a message to whom he expectedly thought she was in the same situation.

A few minutes of typing, deleting, and typing again passed, he stopped moving his thumbs as he finished his first message. His right thumb now was floating on the sending button, waiting to press. He was checking his words carefully and then, he pushed the button.

'Hey, partner! Do you want to go hang out?' was his first message, showing on the right side of the screen. Then, a few seconds passed as he kept his eyes on his phone, it was marked as read. He now was excited about what his partner would reply back, or she just read it only and not responded.

Another few seconds later, his phone vibrated and showed her responding on the left side. 'Yeah. Where?'

It might look laconic and boring, but at least, she replied. So, Ryan continued messaging, 'IDK. But let's meet up at the front gate, 11 o'clock. I'll figure it out.'

He waited again for her agreement, and later, his phone quivered, showing 'K' on the screen. Then, he threw his phone away, rose up from his bed, and began to change his clothes.


11.20 am, at the front gate of Zootopia Police Academy

She's late. I hope she didn't change her mind… thought Ryan, who was wearing a dark blue t-shirt under his gray sleeveless sweater, black jeans, and red sneakers, standing outside the academy by the main entrance.

He picked up his cellphone and looked at the time. He sighed tiredly as it was already twenty minutes late. However, he kept waiting for his partner to show up.

Maybe she's still upset about last week… What if she regretted accepting my invitation?

He continued musing on the reasons why Star did not come yet. Then, he began to get lost in his thoughts as he bent his head up slightly to the sky, watching the white clouds against a blue sky floating past him. He gazed at them vacantly, did not know that there was a mammal walking up next to him, giving him a questioning look.

The mammal let out a soft snort with a smug smile as she was planning to do some mischievous thing to him.

"Hey, Ryan!" she shouted cheerfully in greeting.

"Ahh!" Ryan screamed in the highest tone, jumped up, and fell down on the sidewalk, looking at the mammal who frightened him.

It was none other than his partner, Star who was wearing a white long sleeve t-shirt and denim shorts with a mini handbag in her paw.

She covered her mouth, stifling a giggle, but her laugh began to escape her. Then, Star let out a loud, contented laugh, "Hahaha, why you screamed like a girl! Where are the nervy partner who helped me with my training before?"

"It's because you sneaked up on me and gave me a heart attack greeting." He stood up, dusted some dirt off, and looked at his partner who tried to stop her chortle.

"Aww, sorry… old habit dies hard," she said smilingly after she stopped her laughter and gave him some sort of apologetic grin. "And, sorry for my lateness too. I didn't know what to wear for our hanging out. I have too many clothes."

She seemed normal than what I expected, Ryan thought, gazing up and down, looking at her clothes.

"Well, you don't have to dress to the nines when you're hanging out with me," he said as he began to walk, leading the way. "Are you ready for today's adventure?"

"Yes, of course," Star then walked up, following him. "Where to go first?"

"Peponi Café. We'll have lunch there and decide where to go next then."

"Alright. Sounds good to me."

"Uh-huh." Then, he paused for a second before saying, "By the way, Star."

"Yeah?" She twisted her head, looking at him.

"You look gorgeous today."

A soft giggle was made from the black panther after his complement word ended, then she replied teasingly, "The flattery is appreciated, but this is not a date. You know that, right?"

"Why, of course I know," he responded quickly. "I'm the one who invites you to hang out with me."

"Hahaha. Yeah, right," she gave a little laugh that seemed a bit nervous. But, she went back to her cheerful self again as she slightly shook her head and said, "This is our first official hanging out. So, Let's get going and have fun today!"

Yeah yeah, that'd be nice, he mused nervously, but he still kept his warm smile on his face, walking side-by-side with his partner along the way.


12.45 pm, Peponi Café, Savanna Central

The afternoon of this day was crowded and busy like every passing day as it was a routine for working mammals to come out from wherever and had a quick lunch in a herd, in a small group, alone, or in a pair.

At every restaurant, food shop, and café were full of mammals as they were enjoying the meal and leisurely took a break before going back to work. And, no exception for Peponi Café where it supposed to be the calm and relaxed place was fitted with customers, including two finest officers.

As Nick and Judy sat at their usual table next to the glass wall, Judy was drinking her carrot smoothie, looking at her phone with her vivid eyes. And while she was looking her social media feeds, Nick propped his head on his paw and looked outside, humming a tune of the music they had heard before coming here.

He smiled and began to croon softly, his eyes turned towards the rabbit who sat opposite to him. Outreaching his paw, Nick grabbed one of her velvety paws and gently pulled closer to him.

Her ears perked, and her eyes gazed up in confusion, studying him as he just narrowed his eyelids and broadened his smile to grin.

Then, he rhythmically sang, "One, two, three, four, five, I love you," and gave a kiss on the back of her paw.

"Nick… stop it…" she said as her confused expression disappeared, turning into shyness.

As Judy turned her head away, the red fox in uniform looked up at her embarrassed face, seeing a faint blush on her cheeks. His grin softened into a self-satisfied smile then continued his song, "Six, seven, eight, nine, I love you."

"Oh c'mon, Nick… Stop it. We're still in police uniform," she scolded at her partner but could not control her coy smile that slowly worked its way across her face.

"Every day and night, I love you." He rubbed the back of her paw with his thumb and planted another kiss on it after he finished his rhythm.

"I shouldn't have let you choose the music." The rabbit gave him a sigh, pretending to be annoyed. But, her eyes said otherwise, and he knew it.

"Why's that, my dear?" asked Nick, in a tone of content.

"It's because you keep humming this song along with teasing me," said Judy, rolling her eyes, trying to keep face still.

But, her partner began to flash a smile causing her to also smile. "And?"

"And, everyone is watching us now…" Her voice trail off as she noticed some other mammals looked at them.

"Who cares?" He shrugged with an unworried face. "I didn't do anything wrong."

Then, she looked at him and shook her head, disapproving of how easy going and carefree he seemed. "But, it embarrassed me…"

"Aww, I know you love it."

"It's still embarrassing…" softly groaned the shy rabbit, tried to avoid looking at her fox and others by gazing down to her emptied carrot smoothie.

But, Nick still flirted with her shamelessly, making her feel annoyed and yet happy. And then, the chime of bells sounded as the front door of this café swung open, showing two new guests came into the restaurant.

As the sound of small bells on the door jingled and earned attention from Judy as one of her ears perked up and twisted towards the door. Then, she turned her head and saw the familiar faces. "Hmm? Hey, Slick. Look over there."

"Well well well, look who's here!" Nick said aloud as those two newcomers noticed them and came forward with a smile on their face. "My favorite duo, Ryan and Star."

"Hi there, Nick, Judy!"

"Good afternoon, Nick, Judy."

"How goes it, you two?" Judy asked as the two cadets in casual reached.

"Nothing much…" Ryan shrugged. "Just want to do something else besides reviewing. Otherwise, my brain is gonna explode."

"Ahh, I see," said Nick, nodding then looking at the human with a smug grin. "So, you take her on a date."

"No!" exclaimed Ryan, waving his hands in denial.

"We're just hanging out as a partner… right?" He turned his head, looking at his partner as he sent a signal for her to agree with his statement. And, she nodded swiftly.

"Oh boy…" Judy shook her head and looked at them with a teasing smirk. "We know you two are dating."

"No, we aren't!"

"You know you two would make a cute couple," the fox added.

"Come on, guys," groaned Ryan, with a pout, earning a lighthearted laugh from his fox and rabbit friends.

"Hahaha, just messing with ya," Judy seized her laugh, leaving a genuine smile on her face. She hopped off her chair, looked at two cadets, and said, "By the way, we finished here. You can take our table."

"Thanks," Ryan and Star said in unison as they looked at their senior officers sauntering out from the café.

"C'mon, Nick. We have the city to protect. Let's go," the rabbit announced and beckoned to her partner to follow her.

As two finest officers opened the door and paced themselves outside, Nick craned his head inside the café once more and teased before leaving, "Don't forget to kiss her afterward. Bye…"

"Shut up!" Ryan snapped then realized that everyone here gave him a surprised glare. "…sorry…" he smiled sheepishly and sat down.

"Gahhh…" he softly groaned, massaging his temple. "Sometimes, I just want to kick their butts."

"It's okay," Star said as she sat down across him. "They're just teasing us. We know ourselves where we're standing."

"Yeah… Let's see the menu and order our food."

Then, they began to order their food, Paradise's Sandwich and Lemonade for Ryan and Honey-Mustard-Glazed Salmon Steaks and Peach Soda for Star. In the meantime, as they were waiting for their meals, they began to talk about the preference of music, life-changing experience, hilarious things that they had ever done, and so on.

Even though their food had been served, they still kept exchanging their stories. As for now, Ryan had already finished his meal, then he continued telling his abduction experience at the climax point, "… and then, I grabbed my gun and BANG! I shot my last round right into his forehead just after I rolled onto my back. After that psycho elk had fallen on the ground, they ran to me and gave me a concerned look, so I said to them that I was okay."

"But, I don't think you were okay at that time. It must be hurt like hell, right?"

"Well, yes, it was. I felt like my arm was ripped away…" He rubbed his arm showing where he had been hurt. Then, he noticed that his partner did not continue to eat her food as she rested her jawline on her palms, looking at him attentively. "Erm… should I stop? You haven't touched your food since I told you this story."

"No no," she replied. "Please continue. I'll finish it before you know it."

"Okay…" He nodded and then went back to storytelling mode. "Of course, they didn't believe me. The funny thing is instead of helping me, Judy threw her punch on my arm several times. And, no one did stop her until Nick grabbed her from behind and calmed her down. Then, we walked out of that building and got me some treatment for my arm. They took my gun away again because it was still too dangerous. And before the EMT could take me to the hospital, there was an announcement from Rawa, telling that I was going to create disaster to this world. Everyone looked at me in fright, so I told the driver to leave this place quickly. And, that's the end of my abduction story."

"Wow…" exclaimed the black panther, as she cut her remained salmon steak into small pieces and eat them. "I just figured that why Jonas and Tyson seemed to interest in you."

"Yeah, they just wanted to know if the rumor was true or not."

"Sometimes, we shouldn't have to believe all what the press say. They could over exaggerate something to make their paper juicy."

"That's typical," he agreed.

Then, their conversation ended as Star had set her knife and fork down on the emptied dish, wiping her mouth with a napkin. Later, she picked up her glass of carbonated drink with peach flavored and quaffed it.

"Do you like Peach Soda?" asked Ryan, as he tried to make another chat.

"Uh-huh, it makes me fresh," Star said and placed her half emptied drink on the table. "Why?"

"Nothing. Just listing my partner's favorite things." He took a gulp of his lemonade and thought, And, it kinda reminds me of someone.

Looking at his calm face as he was drinking, the black panther suddenly said as if she figured something out, "Didn't your ex like it too?"

"Pfft!" A sudden spit take occurred before he could cover his mouth and coughed. Fortunately, he did not spray his drink on anyone. Then, he groaned, "Star!"

"Hah, I knew it."

"Jeez… Stop teasing me." He wiped his mouth with the napkin.

"Yay yay, roger that, Mr. Closed Heart," Star rolled her eyes playfully. "Well, I finished my food. Let's split the bill."

"No no, let me pay for the meal… Check, please!"

After Ryan had paid for the meal and Star stood waiting for him outside the café, the human showed up next to her, and they began to amble along the walkway.

A few blocks passed them as they were walking aimlessly, Ryan glanced to his right, seeing his partner walking by his side with a smiling face.

"Where would you like to go next?" he asked.

"Uhh… I have no idea." She shrugged nonchalantly as if she was already satisfied.

"Then, let's take a stroll through the park." Ryan pointed at the park across the street, where it was nearly uncrowded since other mammals went back to their work. "I need some fresh air to clear my brain."

"That sounds good," Star then quickened her pace, leading him, beckoning him to follow her to the park. "Let's go."

As they walked across the road and reached in the local park, their eyes widely opened along with their mouth agape in excitement. This park might seem small, but relaxed and cozy place covered by different shades of green. At the entrance, it was full of various types of trees and several sets of picnic tables under the shade of trees. In the center of the park, there was a small water fountain surrounded by small colorful flowering shrubs. And, on the far side of the park was the open area where some kids were playing with each other.

"Hey, Ryan…" the black panther stated as she and her partner walked through the forest part and sauntered around the fountain.

"Hmm?" Ryan sounded in reply and sat at the edge of the water fountain.

"Why did you invite me to go hang out with you?" asked Star, sitting down next to him.

"Because you aren't allowing me to go anywhere alone, remember?" he answered, staring up into the clear sky.

"And, why me?"

"You're my partner, of course."

"Really?" Star responded with a questioning tone. Then, she leaned her head towards Ryan, giving a smug look, and scoffed amusingly, "Isn't that because you feel guilty about rejecting my feewings?"

Looking at her in panic, he quickly replied, "I didn't reject your feelings… I guess."

A short moment passed while they were relaxing in silence, bathing under the sun, gaining fresh air, chilled by the spray of pure water coming from the fountain, and enjoying the combination of the environmental sounds.

However, Ryan began to make a worried face again as her words reminded him of something.

"Haven't you felt annoyed from that?" he broke the calm, looking at Star who had a relaxed look. "I would feel broken-hearted when someone said that. I might have lost my way and gone astray… Isn't that bothering you at all?"

After a few seconds of hesitation passed, her relaxed expression slowly turned into neutral. "Actually, it's bothering me a bit," she answered plainly. "But it was understandable, though. If I was in your position, I would do the same as you."

"Really?" asked Ryan, tilting his head in confusion.

"Of course," the black panther promptly replied, giving a cheery smile. "I won't weep away my sorrow like other teenagers."

From what he had seen during the past week, it was slightly contrasted to what she said. Raising one of his eyebrows and giving her a questioning look, he said, "But, I saw you being unhappy and vacant all the week. I thought you might have a hard time getting through this… annoyance."

"Look at me, Ryan. Look at me!" Star yanked him by his sweater, pulling closer to her.

"Do I look like a whiner to you?" she asked in threatening, glaring into his eyes.

Ryan widened his eyes and swiftly shook his head in disagreement as if he replied other than this, her threat would worsen. Then, she huffed and pushed him, making him nearly to fall into the fountain. "That right, I'm not."

"Heh, I might be overthinking," he mumbled after balancing himself.

"Yes, you are. You know what, overthinking is the art of creating problems that weren't even there. So, stop worrying about me."

"How can I?!" he responded immediately. "You're my partner, and I do care about your wellness, physically and mentally."

Her threatening face suddenly softened into a surprised look and gazed away. The faint smile slowly formed on her face again as she felt somewhat relief. However, she held back her smile and then, gave her partner a single soft punch on his arm, saying, "Thanks for your concern."

Then, she shot herself off the fountain rim and looked at him over her shoulder. "But, didn't you just said you want to clear your brain? So, stop thinking about it and let's have fun!"

Weren't you the one who brought up this topic… Ryan thought, but he said otherwise with a snicker, "Haha… you're probably right."


6.00 pm, Zootopia Police Academy

After a couple hours passed as they had been relaxing in the park, strolling around, Ryan and Star had called it a day and began to travel back to the academy.

On the way back, they had talked to each other, played some games along the way, teased at one another, and got some grub.

Then, their pleasant evening had come to an end as they reached their destination.

"Here's our stop," announced Ryan, as he and his partner stood at the front of the female dormitory door.

"I had a fun time, Ryan. Thanks for today's adventure."

"It was my pleasure," said the human, bidding his goodbye as he waved his hand and began to walk back to his dorm. "Goodnight, partner."

Looking at him walking back to his dorm, the black panther started to ponder something. Then, "Ryan!" she shouted, attaching his attention as he turned around facing her.

"What is it, part…ner?" he responded, but his voice trailed off in the end. His eyes widened in shock of her action as his partner quickly dashed towards him and circled his neck with her arms, giving him a delighted smile.

"You know, right now, I'm just happy thinking about two of us even if we're not dating," she cooed.

"R-really?! T-that… that's good for you…" Ryan stuttered in a startle, smiling at her nervously.

"And, I'm willing to wait until you're ready. I'll still be the same Star who admire and like you. Thank you for being the same Ryan who care a lot about his partner." Her words gradually softened down into a whispering, growling softly.

Then, she pressed her lips onto one of his cheeks. "Goodnight, stud," purred Star, nuzzling his neck and walking back into her dorm after she satisfied herself.

Standing in shock and confusion, the human became a mannequin again with the pupils in his eyes were dilated. Just like his mind was drifting into another realm, leaving the body in the time-stopped reality. The softness and affection of her touch that still lingered on his neck made his heart to lurch and pound madly. A rush from his widely raced heart sent color to his cheeks, and the feelings that he had not experienced for such a long time erupted from his chest once again, breaking open the closed heart of his.

In a single beat, his love was born again.

"… goodnight…"