How Does She Know?

It's not enough to take the one you love

For granted


Kate had been avoiding him. Tony had no idea how the woman managed to evade him all day when her damn desk was right across from him…but she did. He didn't see her a single time that day. Frustrated and miserable, he left the bullpen early to wander through the park before picking Morgan up from school. He'd made it halfway through when he spotted an insanely drunk woman in a denim dress singing and dancing beneath a light post.

"Oh hell," Tony swore. It wasn't enough to hope that he'd never see the witch again. In less than half a day, their paths had crossed again. For a moment, he considered running away or diving behind a bush in order to avoid being recognized. He hesitated too long though, and she stopped in mid-verse to swagger over to him with a clumsy version of what was probably, when she was sober, a very sexy walk. As it was, she looked absolutely ridiculous.

"Hello again, my little hairy butt," she chuckled before taking a swig of a nearly empty whisky bottle. Apparently someone had felt generous or overly comfortable with the security of their liquor in the park. "Did you make out with Kate yet?"

"Make out?" Tony made a face. "She's furious with me!"

"I am sorry, it is the English." She waved dismissively. "I was asking if she was still mad at you or not."

"Oh…you meant did we make up?"

"Yes!" She grinned triumphantly. "That is it!"

"She's avoiding me." Tony sighed. "I can't really blame her. Before we started going out I was a little bit of a—"

"Man whore?"

"Of course, you would get that one right," he laughed. "How'd you guess?"

"You let a strange, heavily intoxicated woman pass out on your couch." She smirked. "It was not difficult to figure out."

"And look how my generosity is repaid." Tony threw his hands in the air. "Shouldn't this karma thing have kicked in by now?"

"I think it has." She stared at him with an unreadable expression before taking another large swig of whisky. "So…what can I do to help?"

"Help?"

"Yes. This situation is partly my fault." She adopted an overly thoughtful expression. "Maybe it would help if you actually understood women."

"I understand women!" Tony made a face.

Ziva laughed at him. "Clearly. After all, your girlfriend has already forgiven you and you're well on your way to a happily ever after."

"Okay, Yoda. What do you think I should do?" he asked. "Not only did she see me with another woman, but then she caught me in a lie."

"Well…actually I was the one that was lying," she pointed out. "But you're right. It makes the situation more difficult."

"And you have a plan?"

"Of course I have a plan." She pulled him deeper into the park by his arm. "Come with me and I'll show you."

"This is not going to make me look any better, Ziva," he griped.

"Oh! There's not going to be any of that. I want to show you something."

"I suppose if you're offering…there's a few things I'd like to see." He commented, raising an eyebrow.

She let go of his arm to step in front of him and unleash a fierce glare. "Can you try to be more mature about this?"

"Sure, Sweet Cheeks," he smirked.

At the familiar endearment she paled. Then, with a nervous laugh, she took another hearty swig from the whisky bottle. She tried to take a second in a row but Tony snatched the bottle away from her. "What do you think you're doing? That's mine."

"You owe me." He glanced inside the bottle as if considering the contents for himself. Then, as they passed a trashcan, he dropped it inside.

Ziva cringed at the sound of breaking glass. "You could have at least drank it."

"Too early in the day. Maybe later." He hesitated before barreling into the question that had been nagging him since they'd met. "Why are you drinking so much, anyway?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Obviously." Tony forced her to sit down on the park bench. "But you're going to talk about it. What's the matter with you?"

"So many things." She clenched her hands as if trying to hold onto something before it could slip away. Given how much liquor she'd imbibed, that thing she was struggling to hold on to could have very well just been her current train of thought.

"You mentioned Edward before. Is it about him?" Tony asked.

She hesitated. "Yes. We were going to get married and then go back to Israel."

"Israel?"

"I'm Mossad."

"Ah…" He nodded. "I'm with NCIS."

"Yes, I know." Ziva glanced around discretely to see if anyone was listening. "I was Ari's control officer before he—"

"Completely lost it?"

"Before he was killed." She glared at him before looking down at her hands. "He had me do a dossier of everyone he might interact with at NCIS. That's why your name sounded so familiar to me."

"Then…you know my girlfriend is the one that killed him." At her nod, Tony sighed. "Were you close to that bastard?"

"Very." She adopted a rather vacant look. "He was my brother."

"Sorry."

"I'm used to losing the ones I love." She let out a deep breath. "Almost, anyway."

"How can you ever be used to something like that?"

"In my line of work, I have to be."

"I suppose." Without thinking, Tony laid a hand on her shoulder to comfort her. "So what are you doing here?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"I'm here to kill Agent Todd to avenge my brother."

He recoiled. "You're not serious."

"I am." Her eyes narrowed. "I almost had her last night but she…I don't know the right word. But there was fire everywhere and then…she ate him."

"What?" Tony laughed. "First of all, Ari was buried in Israel, wasn't he? I doubt Kate would have shipped his remains here to have a barbecue."

"She didn't eat Ari." Ziva shook her head. "She ate Edward."

"Do you mean she…" Tony's jaw twitched. "Gave him a…uh…mmm…because she wouldn't even do that for me. Not that I asked. Maybe if I asked…"

"What on earth are you talking about?" Ziva stared at him as if he'd sprouted a second head. "I cannot be any clearer than I am being right now. She swallowed my fiancé in one bite. Gone! In the mouth, down the throat!"

"And she was getting on my case for cheating." Tony fumed. "When I get my hands on her, I swear I'll…!"

"Dragon! That's the word! She was a dragon." Ziva gave him a shake. "A big, fire-puking dragon!"

"That makes even less sense than Kate giving Edward some sort of—"

"I do not want to know what you think I was talking about." Ziva pulled her gun out of its holster and checked to make sure it was loaded. All people within twenty yards of them ran away screaming. "I have to kill her before she destroys everything."

"Like Godzilla did in Tokyo?"

"Tony!"

"I'm sorry, Ziva. I'm not letting you kill my girlfriend." He grabbed the barrel of the gun, then froze when he heard an ominous clicking. "Are you seriously trying to shoot me right now?"

She pulled the trigger again. "Let go."

"I'm doing no such thing." He yanked the gun closer, pulling her off balance. She fell against his chest and, because she was clinging so tightly to the gun, she ended up flat against his chest with her mouth centimeters away from his. She stared in his eyes, their close proximity raising no alarm. Tony, however, was not as unaffected by the sudden lack of space between them. In fact, he began to gravitate closer until the space between them couldn't be measured. He could taste her breath on his lips and it drove him out of his mind. Just before he lost himself entirely to his less desirable side, he heard a series of clicks. Laughing, he pulled away. "Okay, that time, I deserved it."

Ziva swore at him. Click, click, click! "Would you take your hands off my gun?"

"No. I don't trust you to use it responsibly." He laughed again as the clicks continued. "Keep it up, Ziva. The safety's on." Then he heard an entirely different kind of click and let go of the gun. His hands went straight into the air. "Okay, Ziva? Promise me you'll wait until you're sober before you do anything, okay? Please? Sweet Cheeks?"

She glared at him. For a moment it seemed that she might just shoot him. Then, her eyes softened. She struggled with herself a moment longer before she put the safety back on her gun and holstered it. "I will not enjoy my vengeance if I cannot remember it."

"That's a good girl." He slowly lowered his arms, afraid of what a sudden movement might do to the crazy chick. "Now you're thinking clearly."

"Tony, if you had seen that thing…"

"Shh…let's think about something nicer." He led her over to the fountain. "You said you were going to help me get Kate to forgive me."

"Yes. I have an idea." A slow smirk crossed her face. "But before I tell you, you must promise to agree."