Author Commentary; So this chapter might not be very well done, but I'm not in the mood to wrestle with it. Hope you enjoy it.
Title; Collapse
Characters; Canada, America, Japan, France, England
Pairs; Japan→America, FrUK
Rating; T
Warnings; shonen-ai, eating disorders, angst
Disclaimer; I don't own Hetalia.
Alfred held tightly to Matthew's hand on the way to school, stroking it with his thumb absent mindedly. Matthew seemed happy to be returning to school, and Alfred was glad for that; one less thing that he needed to worry about.
"So when is the play your in going to happen?" Matthew asked.
"Oui, your Dad and I would really love to know when we can expect to see you on stage." Francis said from the drivers seat.
Alfred shrugged, "It's supposed to be sometime in the next two weeks, but there are still so many people who are still on script that the teacher is worried that she might have to bump the play down another week."
"That doesn't sound too good." Matthew said, laughing a little, "Are you still on script too?"
"No, not really. Antonio doesn't have too many lines in comparison to some of the others." Alfred said, "I bet I could probably do most of the lines by memory by now."
"Can you do them right now?" Matthew asked.
Alfred chuckled, "And ruin the surprise? Not a chance."
Francis and Matthew laughed, "Oh, cher, you are so cute." Francis said as he pulled into the school's parking lot, "You two 'ave fun at school, okay?"
"Thanks Papa." Matthew said, hopping out, closely followed by Alfred, "See you after school."
"Bye Papa." Alfred said, waving as Francis pulled away.
They walked into the school, Alfred chatting to keep Matthew entertained. A few people noticed that Matthew had returned and said hi, but for the most part they went on their way undisturbed. They stayed nearly glued at the hip as they sat through the first few parts of school. When break rolled around, it became another story altogether.
"Are we going to go find a place to sit?" Matthew asked.
As Alfred was about to answer, he caught sight of Kiku. He hesitated a moment, before hugging Matthew close, "Sorry Mattie, but I promised a friend. I'll see you in class, okay?"
Matthew looked a little crestfallen, but put on a smiling face anyway, "Oh, okay. I'll see you later then."
Alfred felt really guilty, but he had promised Kiku, and he never went back on his promises. He'd have to eat an extra burger for leaving Matthew though. He pressed a quick kiss to Mattie's forehead before turning and running over to Kiku, leaving Matthew standing there, unsure of what to do.
"Herro Alfred-kun. Are you sure it is okay to reave your brother on his own?" Kiku asked as Alfred reached him.
"He'll be okay. And besides, if I brought him along, I wouldn't be able to 'punish' myself, right?" Alfred said, even though he did want to stay with his baby brother.
"I suppose so Alfred-kun." Kiku said, secretly glad that Matthew wasn't coming with them. The more time he had alone with the American, the better.
As the weeks went on, it became evident that Matthew was getting pushed to the side. Alfred felt horribly guilty for doing that to him, so he ate more burgers than usual. Kiku was there with him every step of the way, slowly getting thinner and wasting away.
"Wow, you can feel all of your ribs now Kiku." Alfred said as they relaxed in Alfred's room one evening while his family was out.
"I think my nii-chan is getting suspicious." Kiku said, enjoying the feeling of Alfred's hands on his side.
"Maybe you should eat a little bit. You know, so you don't die." Alfred suggested, only half joking.
Kiku shrugged and said nothing. Alfred didn't move his hand from his ribs, rubbing his thumb across one of the protruding bones. Their eyes met and a 'moment' seemed to pass between them. The kind of moment that doesn't need words, but both parties know exactly what's going on. Hesitating only a moment, Alfred leaned in and pressed his lips against Kiku's. Kiku responded eagerly, threading his fingers in the soft blond locks.
They kissed for a long moment, lips moving against lips. Just as Alfred's tongue peeked out to lick along Kiku's lips, the front door slammed, signalling the return of Alfred's family. Kiku jerked away, as did Alfred, both of them blushing bright red.
Alfred averted his eyes, "Um, that was . . ."
"I should be heading home now." Kiku said, voice monotone.
Alfred blinked, "Oh, are you sure?" he asked. Had he taken thing to far?
"Hai. Nii-san will be wondering where I am." Kiku said, sitting up. He wobbled a little, but he found the strength to stand and walk to the door, "It was nice speaking to you Alfred-kun."
Alfred, too shell-shocked to say or do anything, just sat there and watched Kiku leave. It wasn't until a few moments later that Alfred registered what had just happened. Dam damn damn, had he really just kissed Kiku? He brought his hand up and traced his lips with his fingers.
"Alfred? Are you okay?" Matthew called through the door, snapping Alfred out of his thoughts.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Alfred called.
Matthew opened the door and walked in, "Are you sure? I just saw Kiku leave in a big hurry. Did you two fight?"
Alfred laughed a little, "No, we didn't fight." he motioned for Matthew to come in, "We just . . . talked."
Matthew raised a brow, "Are you sure?" he asked.
Alfred hugged his little brother, "I'm sure Mattie. It's nothing you need to be concerned about, okay?"
Matthew sighed a little sadly, "Okay."
After that, Alfred and Kiku went back to being friends. Neither mentioned the kiss, or what it might have meant. Kiku continued to starve himself, and Alfred continued to stuff himself. After a while, people started to notice.
"Alfred, mon cher, you are looking a little unwell. Are you all right?" Francis asked one day while Alfred helped wash dishes at the café.
"I'm fine Papa, no need to worry." Alfred insisted.
"Alfred, you look ghastly. Are you feeling sick?" Arthur inquired when the boys came home from school one day.
"Not really. I'm feeling just peachy." Alfred lied, smiling.
"Al, you aren't looking too good. Are you going to be okay?" Matthew asked worriedly.
"Don't worry about me Mattie. I'll be just fine." Alfred said, kissing Matthew's forehead and trying not to think about his upset stomach and his sore throat.
Alfred grunted as the last of the burger he ingested earlier forced itself up and out. His head span and his throat burned, but he was getting better at punishing himself. He now had a system where no one would catch on to what he was doing (aside from Kiku of course).
"Alfred-kun? Are you finished? We have to get to the theatre soon or the teacher wirr be angry." Kiku called through the stall door.
"Yeah, just a sec." Alfred said, coughing a little and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He stood and exited the stall, heading for the sink to wash his hands and rinse his mouth, "You got the costumes ready for the show?"
Kiku nodded, "Hai, I just need to do some hemming. How is your script memorization?"
"Good, I'm completely off script now." Alfred said, grinning.
Kiku smiled a little too, "That is good to here. I rook forward to seeing you perform."
"Aw, thanks Kiku." Alfred said, slinging an arm around Kiku's thin, boney shoulders, "Wow Kiku, maybe you should eat something. You're seriously wasting away here."
"I wirr be fine Alfred-kun." Kiku said with practised ease.
Alfred looked a little worried, but he pushed it aside. He really shouldn't preach to Kiku about his 'issue', seeing as he was in a similar boat. The continued down the halls of the school, Alfred's arm around Kiku's shoulders, and arrived shortly at the theatre room.
"Alfred! Kiku!" the teacher called, waving them in, "Fantastic you guys are here. We're going to go through an entire rehearsal, off book and in any costume that's finished." she bounced around excitedly, "We have to work hard! Our opening performance is in four days!"
The entire cast and crew ran to their places and shuffled into their almost completed costumes. Alfred's costume was pretty simple, so his had been done for a while, and he had his character down pat by now. It was clear that he was going to be a rising star in the theatre area. Likewise, the costumes sewn and designed by Kiku were clearly the best out of the others. Many people figured that it was no wonder that these two had become so close, them being the two most talented and skilled out of them all.
Four days later, it was their opening night. Alfred's family had purchased tickets weeks in advance, anything to support their son. Kiku's family was also there, so he told Alfred through his wheezing breath (the boy was so thin that he was almost a ghost). Alfred was giddy and Kiku was fidgeting over the last few touches on the costumes.
"I can't believe that we're here already. I'm so excited." Alfred said, peeking out at the audience. He saw his parents and Matthew sitting in the third row. A few seats away was a large group of Asians that was probably Kiku's family.
"Alfred-kun, prease sit stirr, I have to finish hemming this." Kiku said, kneeling down and fixing the edge of Alfred's pant leg, "Antonio cannot go on stage with a half-finished costume."
"Haha, you should be more worried about the large characters costumes. Antonio isn't as important as the others." Alfred said.
"Nonsense Alfred-kun, Antonio is a very important part." Kiku said, smiling politely up at Alfred.
Alfred smiled as well. Before he knew what he was doing, he leaned down and placed a kiss to Kiku's soft lips. They stayed that way for a moment before the call went out for everyone to take their places. They both jumped apart and blushed furiously. Alfred stammered out an apology and ran to take his place.
The rest of the play went off without a hitch or bump. The performance was spectacular and Alfred delivered his lines with such convincing passion that he got a standing ovation. When everything was over and done with, the cast and crew members and their families all congregated backstage to doll out congratulations.
"You were amazing Alfred! I nearly thought I was watching Antonio himself!" Arthur praised.
"Truly amazing mon cher." Francis said, smiling.
"Good job Alfred." Matthew said.
Alfred flushed under all the praise, but he threw an arm around Matthew's shoulders and smiled, "Really, I wasn't that great. I breezed through it so well I probably made a million mistakes."
Everyone laughed and continued to praise him and congratulate him for his wonderful performance. Alfred took it all with a smile, but continued to be his own worst critic.
"And the costumes! They're all so wonderful." Arthur said, admiring the work.
"Oh, you really should be talking to Kiku for that. He's the man behind all the-"
At that moment, a dull thud rang through the room. For a moment, things were silent, then a few shouts rang out among the commotion.
"Kiku? Kiku, are you okay aru? Kiku!" called a distressed voice.
A small ball of dread settled in Alfred's stomach. In an instant, he crossed the room and found his friend, barely more than a wisp, lying on the floor motionless. His shirt had ridden up and exposed his ribs and stomach. His bones jutted out from his skin, which was nearly translucent, and his stomach was barely even there.
"Dear god what have we done?" Alfred said to himself.
Author Commentary; Well, this is really late. I know I said I wasn't going to wrestle with it, but I ended up rewriting this three times. Anyway, hope you liked it.
