A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed/favorited/followed! All mistakes are mine. I hope ya'll like this chapter! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Some of you guys didn't understand why Edward went from being numb to realizing his mistakes. If you go back and reread the last chapter, there was something very important that triggered Edward's change of heart. He realized something very important. Edward didn't simply go from numb one second to regretful the next, something very vital happened to him in the process. If you still don't understand what happened after you've reread the chapter, then feel free to PM me and I will be happy to answer your questions. Sorry for the long AN note. Enjoy the chapter!
"Will we ever say the words we're feeling, reach down underneath and tear down all the walls? Will we ever have a happy ending or we will we forever only be pretending?" – Glee
Chapter 29
BPOV
February 2010
"Get in here right now you little bitch!" I hear Phil shriek from the kitchen.
I scramble out of my room and down the stairs to the kitchen where Phil and Renee are waiting for me. "What did you do?" Phil screams at me. The amount of rage in his voice scares me enough to where I'm cowering in the corner within seconds.
I don't understand why he's yelling at me. I don't understand what he's talking about. I haven't done anything to upset him.
Clearly pissed by my lack of response, Phil picks me up off of the floor by my arms and slams me hard against the wall. I bite back my cry of pain when he squeezes my burns roughly. "Why the hell is social services coming for a visit, huh bitch? What did you do?" Phil is screaming so loud I'm sure the entire street can hear every single word that he's saying.
I look at him in confusion. He thinks I had something to do with social services being contacted? How the hell would I have told them anything considering the fact that I don't speak? Could Phil get any stupider?
"Phil, the girl had nothing to do with it. The lady who called me on the phone this morning, said they got a file submitted from a doctor in the hospital. She said that the report said that based on the girl's injuries and frequent visits to the hospital, some doctor thinks child abuse is occurring. Some big time doctor thinks they know how to treat our child better than we can! They think that our punishments are child abuse, but they're wrong, aren't they, bitch? You deserve every little punishment that we give you." Renee's eerie voice screeches out. She walks over to where Phil has me pinned up against the wall. "Don't you?"
I don't answer. I don't move. My mind is spinning so fast right now. Someone from the hospital sent a report about my injuries? How could they possibly know though? I've been so careful not to say anything to anyone and I know Charlie wouldn't have done anything. So, who could it have come from?
I think to myself for a few minutes until Renee brings me out of my thoughts. "They are sending the girl's case worker over here tomorrow to do an official investigation. If we don't pass this investigation, Phil, we're going to lose the girl and the money that she comes with! We can't do that! You have to fix this."
Phil drops me to the ground and I land very painfully on my ass. Phil turns around to face Renee. "What do you mean I have to fix this? This is your problem too," he says with conviction.
"I mean, you are the one who hits the girl, not me. You are the one who puts this girl in the hospital, not me. I have nothing to do with this. This is your problem, now you need to fix it. Besides, I have to work late tomorrow night anyway."
"Fine. I'll take care of it." Phil huffs and turns his attention back to me. "Say a word about this to anyone, and it will be the death of you. Now, get out of my fucking sight before I make you, bitch." And with that, I scurry off to my room as fast as my feet can carry me.
As I lay in my bed, I let my thoughts consume me. I think for hours and hours throughout the night, trying to figure out who could have made the report. Then it hits me.
Carlisle.
Edward's dad.
It has to be him. I was around him the most out of all of the doctors. It's the only thing that makes sense. But why? After everything that has happened between me and Edward, why would Carlisle do it? I'm nothing to him now. I'm just the girl who used to hang around his son a lot. I'm nothing, so why go to all the trouble of sending a report just for some stupid little girl?
I let my thoughts wonder throughout the night, knowing that there's no way that I will be able to sleep with Phil so angry and restless.
A small part of me thinks that maybe telling someone about Phil and Renee won't be a bad idea. I mean, how much worse can it get? There's a social services lady coming over tomorrow to check out a report sent by Carlisle Cullen. Maybe she'll figure out that something is up and take me away from this horrible place.
Yeah, that sounds nice.
She doesn't have to know exactly what Phil and Renee do to me. She can just see that they are unfit to take care of me as a foster child. She doesn't need to know that Phil beats me up or that Renee hardly feeds me. The lady just needs to see that this house is a bad environment for a child. That's it.
But what if she doesn't believe that I'm being abused? Who else could I tell? Who else would believe me?
No one would believe you.
It's your word against his and he's the chief of police.
You're all alone in this.
My only hope for freedom is for this social services lady to see and recognize that this place is hardly fit to have a child living here. She needs to recognize that Phil and Renee are not fit to be foster parents for anyone ever again.
With my newfound hope, I drift off to sleep with high plans for tomorrow.
**TCWT**
As soon as I walk out of the front door the next morning, someone grabs me from behind. "You're daddy Phil thinks you're too ugly to rape, so that's why he beats the shit out of you every night, isn't it?
I shiver at his words. I always knew that Phil thought that about me, but to hear someone else say it… it's so cruel.
"I don't know how Edward ever put up with you. I don't even know how he got close enough to breathe in the same air as you, let alone fuck you. That's right, I know how he fucked you every time you went over to his house. I know a lot of things. I know how a social service worker is coming over to your house to investigate an incident report tonight. I know how Phil and Renee threatened to kill you so you'll keep your mouth shut about it. I'm here to tell you that if you don't keep your mouth shut, I'm going to fucking kill you myself, you little cunt."
I gulp. He can't be serious, can he? I mean, if he was going to kill me, he would have done it already, right? What's the point in waiting? It's not like my life is getting any better.
My stalker seemed to take that as answer and shoves me on the ground as he makes his getaway. I don't bother trying to look and see his face anymore. I know he'll be gone by the time I'm able to get up anyway. I'm just wasting my energy.
Moments later, I hear the school bus pull around and pass my driveway. I finally get up off of the ground in time to see the bus turn down the next road, leaving me at my house without any transportation to get to school other than my own two feet.
Sighing, I start walking the five mile walk to school. About half way there, the rain starts to come down, but I don't let it faze me. I just need to get this school day over with so I can get back home and see the social worker.
As I make my way into the school, soaking wet and over an hour late, I am relieved to find no one in the hallways. I quickly make my way to my locker to grab my books for class. On my way to the bathroom to get dried off, I hear the all too familiar sound of high heels clicking down the hallway, along with other footsteps.
I turn around to see Tanya, Edward, Seth, and Jacob walking towards me. As soon as I make eye contact with them, the insults begin. I stand by as Jacob and Tanya take turns insulting me and watch as Edward and Seth stand to the side uncomfortably.
"You're a failed abortion whose birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory, aren't you, Freak?" Jake said.
"You're just one of those people who would be enormously improved by death, aren't you?"
"You must have been born on a highway, because that's where most accidents happen."
"It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork."
"If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid."
I can't take it anymore. How can Edward just stand there and listen to all of the cruel things they're saying to me? I turn to walk away, but Tanya makes another comment that stops me in my tracks. "Do you have to leave so soon? I was just about to give you some bleach."
I can feel tears prick the backs of my eyes.
"Would you just the shut the fuck up already, Tanya?"
I turn around when I hear his voice.
"Why the hell do you have to say that kind of shit? Does it make up for the fact that you're a raging bitch? Here, I'll answer that. No, it doesn't."
I'm in shock as I hear the next words come out of Edward's mouth.
"Leave her alone, Tanya, Jake. She hasn't done anything to you. I'm fed up with you two trying to destroy her life! Leave her the fuck alone!" And with that, Edward storms off in the other direction, but not without looking me directly in the eyes. There is so much pain in them and for a split second I think that he's hurting just as much as I am. But just as fast as the moment came, it went. Edward broke eye contact with me and walks off.
What the hell just happened here?
Did Edward seriously just stick up for me?
Did he really just tell Jake and Tanya to fuck off for me?
I can't believe it. It just seems too good to be true. I watch as Tanya and Jacob huff and walk where Edward was heading. Now, only Seth remains.
The amount of sympathy in his eyes makes me want to cry all over again. I miss Seth so much. He was always so sweet and kind to me and then overnight, our friendship seemed to disappear just like everything else good in my life did.
He starts walking in my direction with a hand extended forward, but for every step he takes towards me, I take two back.
"Bella, I don't know what to say," He says softly.
I shake my head.
You don't have to say anything, Seth. I get it. You chose your best friend over some worthless girl. Don't worry about it. What's done is done. I was never anything to you anyway.
I want to say these things so bad, but I can't seem to muster up the courage to do it.
Seth takes another step towards me, but I turn around and run as fast as I can to the girls bathroom. When I don't hear footsteps behind, I know that Seth got the message.
Don't come after the worthless girl. You're only wasting your time, breath, and energy.
I spend the rest of the school day hiding out in the bathroom until it's time to go to Charlie's class. I don't see Edward for the rest of the day. No one says a word to me either, so I'm assuming that Edward's words stuck with Jake and Tanya and the rest of the school followed suit. I still don't understand why he stood up for me. I'm nothing to him anymore.
At the end of the day, I take the school bus home and anxiously wait for the social worker lady to arrive.
Phil has literally been pacing around the house since he got home. He told me to sit at the kitchen table until the social service lady got here, so that's what I've been doing for the past hour and a half.
When the doorbell rings, I see Phil jump. I guess I'm not the only one how is a little anxious about this meeting.
When Phil opens the front door, a tall lady walks right past Phil and straight to me.
"Hi, Bella. I am Helen. I am the case worker that has been assigned to you. I'm here to meet you and talk to you. Why don't you tell me about yourself?" The lady says excitedly.
I don't know if she knows about me and how I don't talk, but after five minutes of a staring contest, I think she gets the picture.
"Okay… I guess not. Sweetie, why are you in long sleeves? I know it's cold outside, but we are inside now. And it has got to be at least eighty degrees in this house. Are you not hot in that?"
Once again, I don't answer. I have to wear this shirt because I can't let anyone see the still healing burns on my forearms.
When she realizes that I'm not going to answer her, she reaches forward and tries to roll up the sleeves of my shirt. Before she gets the chance, I jerk back on instinct. I don't know who I surprised more, me or the lady.
"Show me your arms, Bella. It's okay. I'm here to help," She says condescendingly. She reaches forward and tries again, but I jerk away once more.
When she realizes that I'm not going to let her see my arms, she tries a different approach. "How about you give me a tour of the house then, Bella?"
Okay, this I can do.
I get up and gesture for the lady to follow me up the stairs. I point to the door that leads to my room and then point back to me, hoping she'll get the picture.
"So this is your room, Bella?" Helen points towards the door of my room.
I nod my head yes.
"Can I go in and look around?"
I nod once again, too nervous to be able to do anything else.
The lady walks in my room and looks around. She walks over to my closet and peeks inside. I'm suddenly thankful that I remembered to move all of the Christmas presents that Edward gave me to a spot under my bed where no one but me can find them.
Once she is finished looking around my room and taking a few notes, the case worker lady walks back down to the kitchen. "Have a seat Phil. I would like to tell you about my findings today."
"Alright," Phil says nervously, "I'm all ears."
Helen takes a deep breath and begins. "Based on my findings, I think Bella needs to be placed in a different home. She is clearly not well cared for here. She doesn't have hardly any clothes. She is literally skin and bones. She completely refused me when I ask if she would take off her jacket so that I could see her without her long sleeves."
Yes! She sees it! I'm almost free!
Helen glances at me, pity filled in her expression. In an instant, she looks back to Phil and Renee and resumes talking. "Although I do not have proof that you are physically abusing this child, I do have enough information to get her out of this home for the time being." She looks directly at me and says, "Bella, why don't you go pack a bag of all of your things for me?"
I hesitantly nod my head, but don't move. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Phil tense up and ready himself for action if need be.
"The girl stays here with us." His voice has enough venom in it to make a snake back down in fear.
Oh, no. It scares me when Phil gets like this.
"No, the girl is coming with me." Helen says calmly.
Phil sighs and changes his entire expression. "Helen, isn't there something we can do to work this out, on the side, if you know what I mean. There's many ways I can be of assistance to you." The smirk on Phil's face makes me want to gag when I realize what he's saying.
He's trying to seduce her.
Helen gasps. "If you are insinuating what I think you are, then the answer is no. But there are other ways I can be persuaded." The same smirk that is on Phil's face makes me want to throw up.
No! This isn't how this was supposed to go! This can't be happening to me!
My eyes go wide in horror as I see Phil break out in a massive smile. "What did you have in mind?" He asks sweetly.
"I think a couple grand should make me keep my mouth shut about the girl." Helen says with a sick grin on her face.
I can't believe what I'm hearing. Not even two seconds ago, this lady was trying to help me and now she's giving me up in the blink of an eye.
"I think we can work something out." Phil smiles sickly at me and reaches in his pocket and pulls out his checkbook. He grabs a pin from Helen and starts making out the check to her. When he finishes, he hands it to her and says, "It was a pleasure doing business with you, Helen." They both stand up.
No.
As Helen makes her way to the front door, money in hand, she looks back to me. I see the slightest bit of remorse of her face as she says, "Sorry kid, but I have bills to pay too." and walks out the door.
I can't believe my only chance of freedom just left through the front door without even a second thought.
Within seconds of the shutting of the door, I sprint up to my room, tears pricking the back of my eyes just begging me to let them fall.
I guess no one in the world is capable of caring about me or my well-being. Not even my own damn social worker. My one chance at being free of Phil and Renee is gone, out the door with a couple thousand dollars.
When I hear footsteps following me up the stairs, I run faster to my room. When I get there, I try to find a place to hide in an effort to try and save myself from Phil. Seconds after I dive underneath my bed, my door breaks down. He stalks over to me, grabs me by my hair, and yanks me up. On my way out from under my bed, my foot gets caught on a leg of the bed. Because Phil yanked me so hard up, the bed flipped over, therefore exposing the belongings that I had hidden away there.
Phil immediately drops me on my ass when he sees the giant garbage bag filled with clothes and such slide out from underneath the bed. He walks over to it and dumps everything out. "You little bitch. Where the fuck did you get all of this?" He points to the clothes and makeup and shoes and jacked that was previously in the bag.
When I don't answer him, his tone goes eerily calm voice that freaks me out more than his mad voice. "I asked you a fucking question, bitch. Answer me."
I don't answer him. Instead I move to the corner of my room and try to make myself as small as possible. I have no idea what he's going to do to me next. The way he's looking at me right now… the phrase if looks could kill doesn't seem to suffice.
Phil walks over to where all of my things are now dumped out of the bag. He calculatedly picks up each article of clothing and starts to rip them. I see fabric being thrown all over my room and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
He's destroying all of my clothes! If he keeps ripping everything to shreds, then I won't have any other clothes to wear other than the ones on my back.
In hopes of getting his attention away from the only things I have left from Edward, I grab the thing closest to me – a bottle of perfume that Edward had given me – and pick it up. I muster up all the strength I have left in my body and throw it as hard as I can at Phil. Luck must be on my side because two seconds later the glass bottle of perfume hits Phil on the back and shatters on impact. He drops the shreds of my clothes and turns around. He stalks over to me and with a sinister grin on his face, he begins to hit me.
Punch after punch lands on my body. At first Phil only hit me on my stomach, but then he began to broaden his horizons and started to hit me on my arms, on my hips, on my legs, on my thighs, any place he could his hands on. With every blow, I feel a little part of me give up.
So this is how it ends. This is how I die. On the floor of my bedroom, beaten to death by my foster dad. I guess that's how it was always supposed to be. I was never meant to be happy. I was always meant to be miserable and alone. I don't deserve anyone to care about me, I never did. I've done nothing but come into people's lives and ruin them. I'm such a waste of space and now I'm finally getting my last punishment. Death.
I don't know how long he hits me for, but I finally stop feeling his blows. My body goes numb and I just stop caring. This is the end for me. At some point, I pass out from all the pain.
Hours later, I wake up on the floor in a pile of my own blood. I try to move, but every bone in my body groans in protest.
I thought death was supposed to be peaceful and pain free?
I look around to take in my surroundings. I note that I'm still in my bedroom.
I guess Phil didn't finish the job after all.
I try to take in the damage that Phil did to me, but sitting up causes me too much pain. The throbbing that is now radiating throughout my body makes me question my life.
Why didn't Phil just kill me?
What purpose do I have living?
No one cares about me.
No one would notice if I just died.
Maybe that's what I should do. Just die.
I could end my pain and suffering once and for all.
No more nights with Phil and Renee.
No more Tanya and Jake torturing me at school.
No more stalker who seems to know my every move.
No more Edward hating me.
No more feeling worthless.
No more anything.
I could be here one second and be gone for the next.
It's that easy.
What's keeping me from killing myself now? Edward clearly doesn't care about me anymore. I don't have any friends anymore. I've never had a family, so they obviously can't miss me. What's holding me back?
This in mind, I slowly get up off of the floor and make my way to the bathroom. I rummage through all of the drawers until I find what I'm looking for.
A razor blade.
A few good cuts and I can finish Phil's job. I won't be in anyone's way anymore. I won't be a nuisance to anyone anymore. I can finally be pain free. The people around me can finally have an end to their suffering all with this one razor blade. What do I have to lose?
Charlie. A little voice in the back of my head says quietly, causing me to spot dead in my tracks.
Charlie. Robert. I can't do this to him again. I can't kill myself and leave Charlie all alone like what happened with Robert. I can't be the one to do that to him.
I put the razor blade back down and slowly make my way to room, my thoughts filled with Charlie and how disappointed he would be in me if I had actually gone through with what I was about to do. It would break him, not me actually dying, but the fact that he had another student kill themselves because of their crappy lives. I'm not going to put him through that again.
Back in my room, I lay on the cold hard floor and do my best to rest up before school the next day.
A/N: Thoughts? What do you think is going to happen next? Leave what you think in a review! Next up, EPOV. Can we get up to 245 reviews by Monday? See you next week.
