AN: Yeah... it's been awhile. Nothing Kid related here – all Detective Conan (for once in my life)! I didn't reread this over so there might be a bunch of issues with the following: grammar, punctuation, spelling, plot, characters, humor, accents, acting, and the function of telephones. Thank you very much for pulling a Ran and waiting absolutely forever for this chapter to come out. Y'all peoples rock my socks and deserve your own stack of complementary college-ruled loose leaf paper (because that's the only thing I have available to offer you). So anyway, stop reading this dumb note and let's get on with the show already! EDIT: It's cracking me up how this note is longer than any other paragraph in this story... :D

"When are you coming home, you mystery baka?"

Her words were like ice. They chilled him to the core and stabbed at his heart. They almost hurt more than what he knew he had to say next.

"Soon, Ran. Just wait for me, will ya?"

He let the cockiness and arrogance of his old self float back into his words. She was more comfortable with that Shinichi. Not with this one. Not with the one he had somehow morphed into. He held his breath as he waited for her response, guilt filling him and killing all of his soul. Each phone call was really making him feel worse each time.

"You – you keep saying that, Shinichi. When are you really coming back? Why can't you tell me? We've been friends for years. Don't I deserve the truth at some point? I'm sick and tired of waiting for you. It's been a whole year. I – I don't think I can wait any longer."

"Hang in there. Please. It's just for a short while more. Give me a couple more months, and then I'll come back. Can you do that?"

He really doubted that a couple months would give him enough time to catch those creeps in black, but he needed to persuade Ran somehow. He knew that she had told him to tell her the truth, but he was sure that she wouldn't take it well. She wouldn't be able to handle it. She'd stop waiting.

Boy, was he selfish.

"How many more months, Shinichi? Why not now? Where are you? What are you doing that you can't come now?"

"I can't tell you that -"

"Why not? Why can't you tell me anything? If it's secret, you know I won't tell. I don't want you to have to deal with everything yourself."

For a moment he considered telling her. But only for a moment.

"It's something really dangerous, that's all I'm going to say. But don't worry about me! I'm perfectly safe!"

He had never told a bigger lie in his life. And never one with so much it was covering.

"But – fine. I'll give you a month. Then I'm done."

A month? He spent a whole year just gathering information on the organization – how was he supposed to find their hide out, bust them, and restore himself to his original body in just one month? He needed to reason with her, without letting her know that there was more than he was letting on.

"I don't think I can get this done in a month. Maybe six...? Please?"

"You'll get your six if you tell me everything. Right now. No lying."

Sorry, Ran, but that wasn't an option.

But suddenly, reality crashed right in front of him. He realized the weight of this conversation. Neither of them would leave from it the same person as before. He could either tell her the truth right now – thus revealing that he was, in fact, Edogawa Conan and probably ending up pissing off/embarrassing Ran – or taking the offered one month and trying to make do with only that. Which, obviously, wouldn't work, so his future with Ran would go down the drain.

Make a decision, Kudo.

"I, erm, you don't want to know the truth. How about that."

Was that really the best he could do? Jeez, Ran was really getting to him. Where was that over-confident high-school teenage-detective he was last year? Where was that abnormally calm voice he always used with criminals? Where was Shinichi?

"How about you tell me and I'll decide if it's good that I know or not."

She was cornering him. He didn't like feeling like a mouse. He suddenly pictured her with fangs and hungry cat eyes. He shook that image out of his head because it wasn't helping. At all. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and spoke:

"I can't do that to you, Ran. I'm sorry. You can... you should stop waiting now. I honestly don't think that I'm ever going to be able to come back. Things got way too out of control for me. I – I'm never coming back. I'm sorry."

That was perhaps a lie. There was always the chance that Haibara would suddenly come up with an antidote. But the probability of that was low, and he didn't want to get Ran's hopes up. He may have just destroyed any chance of him and her ever being together, but it was better this way. Now she would be out of danger. He hoped.

"MYSTERY BAKA! WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THESE CASES? CAN'T YOU SEE... can't you see that I'm – I'm really..."

She exploded all over him. He straightened his face, determined to just get through the rest of the call. And never call her again. It would break both of them – kill both of them, actually – but he hoped Ran would eventually get over it. Maybe marry some nice rich doctor or something. He knew he would never be happy without her, but he felt like he didn't deserve her at this point. And it was his fault, so he should be the one to suffer.

"You're what? Listen... I've gotta go. I guess I won't be calling again... so bye."

There. His last words to Ran, as himself. Kudo Shinichi could finally be laid to rest.

"No, don't go... please. Not yet. I'll – I can keep waiting. I think I can. Just – just call a bit more often, you mystery baka. Okay?"

Did... did she just say that? Was she really fine with him not telling her? Or was she just trying to be the bigger person? Or... or was there something else in there that he was missing?

"Thanks... really. I'll try to hurry up with this case. I'm trying my best, really. It's just that... things are really complicated. There's another girl I'm working with who's just like me. The people we're after killed her family. I'm helping her look for something right now. When we find it I'll come back, okay?"

True enough.

"Fine. But don't go and run off with that girl."

"Ha ha, I won't. Bye, Ran."

"Bye, Shinichi. See you soon."

He went up on his tippy toes to put the phone back on its hook. Sighing, he opened the door and walked out, making the trek all the way back to the Mouri Detective Agency. His hands were in his pockets and his head was done in deep thought as he went up the stairs and entered the actual agency. He called out, "Tadaima! I'm back!"

"Hi, Conan-kun! What do you want for dinner tonight?" Ran was looking and sounding a lot happier than before. But... there was still something in her tone. He brushed it off and threw himself onto the couch. "I don't care~! Whatever you want, Ran-neechan~!"

She smiled and retreated back into the kitchen. He was about to click on the television when his heart suddenly stopped at her next words.

"I hope you find what you're looking for soon, Conan-kun..."