Where Do Fallen Angels Go

Dean leaned in and tapped the bar to get the cute bar tender's attention.

She smiled and popped the top off another bottle before sliding it to him and leaning toward him. She opened her mouth to flirt, hoping that maybe he would be interested in hanging around until closing time. Her open smile abruptly changed to a cold frown when the girl beside him, who had been effectively ignoring him up until that time, leaned to the guy, hooked her arm around his neck and pulled him in for a slow, passionate kiss.

Dean knew what Logan was doing. He sensed how she tried not to smile as she watched the bar keep. He felt the other girl's eyes on them and he knew that Logan wanted the girl to know he was taken and she would fight to keep him. Logan didn't break the kiss until the barkeep sauntered away muttering under her breath.

Dean chuckled as Logan straightened up and sat back on her stool. He took a long draught from his beer and watched her out of the corner of his eye. "Was that really necessary?"

He thought it was funny when Logan stuck her tongue out at him. He also knew she was keeping an eye on Sam at the back of the bar. It wasn't the roughest bar they'd ever been in, but hustling pool can get dodgy if the mark realizes he is being hustled, which is why they usually tried to back each other up.

"He's good at this." Logan nodded toward Sam, who was doing an excellent job of losing and pretending he was drunk. "Guess I didn't realize he was that good at acting."

Dean leaned back against the bar and nodded as he drank a bit more. "I taught him everything he knows."

Logan snorted and rolled her eyes just before she sputtered and moved off her stool. She watched as Sam threw down his pool cue and shoved the pile of cash back at the boys he was conning. "What the hell is he doing?"

Dean's eyes followed his brother as he crossed in front of them to the short girl with dark hair, "Dammit, Ruby."

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Logan had thought she had an uneasy alliance with Ruby, but recently it was more a half concealed contempt on both sides. They tried to stay civil, but one of them was always glaring at the other.

Logan knew a large part of it was that Ruby reminded her in so many ways of how screwed up things had gotten. She saw Sam more often, and she still felt guilty some around him, but Ruby made her feel downright dirty. Right now, Logan wanted to punch the demon in the face for the scowl she shot at her expanding belly. Instead, she flipped her middle finger up and mouthed the sentiment that went with the gesture.

According to Ruby there was some innocent girl named Anna that the demons were after. Okay, not that unusual, but for some reason the angels wanted her dead. It didn't seem to make much sense to Logan, but then recently not much made sense.

Dean was pissed simply because Ruby was there. He didn't hide the fact that he didn't trust Ruby. Not that Logan could blame him much. She knew the bitch was tricky. Every time they dealt with a demon something bad happened. Logan knew that Sam felt like he owed Ruby something, but she kept getting the impression that Sam didn't really want the demon around. Maybe he didn't mind her around himself, but he didn't seem to like her around Logan and Dean and especially Kate.

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Dean watched the others as he sat in the cabin, if you could call it that. He was pretty sure a strong wind would take what was left of it to the ground, but it was what they had and for the moment it was safe. So, they were trying to keep their "angel radio" away from the demons and safe from the angels, which of course reconfirmed for Dean that angels really are just dicks with wings.

Logan had sort of taken to Anna for some reason, but he got the impression it was just to keep an eye on her and Ruby away from her. Anna was pretty and sweet and innocent in a way Dean never remembered being even when he was in preschool. For some reason when he was near her, he felt calm. He had no idea why, but it was there.

Anna looked over to Sam as if she suddenly remembered something. She asked to borrow a phone to call her parents; sure they were worried about her. Logan reached for her shoulder and Sam took a step toward her as he told her as easily as he could that her parents were dead.

Dean didn't miss the almost exact timing of the panic on Anna's face and the motion from Logan. Something was there.

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Logan was hiding with Anna in the back. She knew the boys would do their best to keep them safe and then it would be up to her, what she wasn't expecting was Anna to grab her knife from her belt and slice open her hand. She also wasn't expecting to understand what Anna wrote on the mirror, but she did and then she felt the power that came with the bright flash of light. She felt it draw her away, but something anchored her there. Still, she was disoriented for a few seconds and she knew the angels were gone.

The boys were in the room in the next second.

"Logan." Dean's voice was harsh with concern, especially when he saw the blood.

Sam helped Anna, wrapping her hand in some piece of cloth as he glanced to the mirror. "What the hell is that?"

Logan watched Anna's confused face and heard her tell them she didn't know how she knew it. But Logan knew what it was. She cleared her throat and leaned on Dean as the dizziness faded. "It's a sigil and it's ancient. It temporarily banishes angels."

Logan felt Dean's agitation. "You knew about this?"

Logan shook her head. "No, but I know what it is now that it's here." She pushed hair off her forehead. "Like reading a new word in context and simply knowing what it means. I didn't know it existed before now, but I can understand it plain as day and it sapped a bit of my strength. I actually felt it pulled a part of me when she finished it."

Anna gave her an odd look, but didn't say anything.

"Are they gone for good?" Sam looked up from Anna's hand and finished with his bandage.

Logan shook her head. "No, they'll be back. We need to move. We need some place safe and we need to figure out what the hell is going on."

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They ended up at Bobby's, which was fine by Dean, but he wasn't sure about Ruby being around and he knew it bothered Logan. He was glad to see Pam, but he was sorry she'd lost her sight. She really did have some odd sixth sense because she knew Logan was there before anyone told her and the two of them spent a couple hours catching up while Anna slept. He made a mental note to ask Logan a few things about Pam. He watched as they chatted, not really hearing what they said, but observing how they were around each other and he got the feeling there had once been more between them than friendship.

He was pondering that as Pam walked by him. She chuckled and slapped his ass as she leaned close to his ear "Oh, we definitely did that." She patted his shoulder and laughed again. "Mmm, that too dirty boy. Now pick your jaw up off the floor and point me in the right direction."

Sam, stepped in and helped Pam into the panic room where Anna was staying. He gave Dean a quizzical look, but Dean shook his head at him before going to find Logan.

She'd see the exchange between him and Pam and held up a hand as he opened his mouth. "I'm not sharing the dirty details Dean." She almost giggled when he pouted. "I know you have a good imagination." She pushed a finger into his chest and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "So, go ahead and use it."

Dean stood there as she moved past him to watch with Sam. He shook his head and smiled; she was right he had an excellent imagination and he had every intention to use at some point.

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"An angel? What the hell is going on?" Sam listened along with everyone else. So now there were demons, half demons, angels, half angels and fallen angels who were human. He wondered if Dean was with him on wanting it back to the way it was before they knew all this. He sighed and pushed his hair from his eyes.

He listened as Ruby apologized for dragging them into a war between heaven and hell. She insisted she didn't know and was just trying to help. Sam wasn't surprised that Dean wasn't convinced, but he did think his brother was coming around some. He noticed Dean was uncomfortable when Ruby mentioned Alistair and remembered how Alistair had talked to Dean in the church. He wanted to talk to him about that, but now wasn't the time.

Pam didn't hide that she wanted to leave and Sam was happy when Dean volunteered to drive her home. He wasn't surprised that Logan went with them. So he spent the next couple of hours tracking down things that fell from the sky around the time Anna showed up on earth.

(Some time later…)

Sam looked up from his computer as Logan came through the front door. He could tell she was upset, even before she slammed the door. "You okay?"

She stopped and turned toward him. He could see it was more anger than anything. "Pissed at your asshole brother, what else?" She moved through the kitchen and pulled open the fridge. She reached for a beer, made a disgusted sound in her throat and then grabbed a bottle of water before slamming the fridge shut and leaning her back against it. "He never knows when to leave well enough alone." She tore the cap from the bottle, tossed it and drank.

Sam tried to keep his face neutral, though he wanted to smile. "And you just realized this?"

Sam shook his head at her glare. "Well, you know him almost as well as I do and since when does he let things go?" He pushed away from the table and stood to face her. "You and him are both like pit bulls sometimes. Latch on and never let go."

He saw the tears in her eyes and reached for her. "It'll be okay." He was a bit surprised she let him pull her into his arms. He held her and waited, knew she'd eventually give in to her frustrated and angry tears or shove him away.

"I just want to help him." She said quietly against his chest. "I just want to help take the hurt away, but he won't let me in; won't let me get close enough and it aches." She was crying now, one hand gripping Sam's shirt.

Sam soothed her hair and let her cry. He wasn't used to seeing her this vulnerable and he realized how much she must hurt to let him. "He won't talk to me either, even though we've both told him we saw hell and know how horrible it was. It's not just you. He's not sharing with anyone."

Sam saw Anna enter the kitchen. She frowned and then pointed to the door, letting him know she was heading outside. He nodded and let Logan cry. He felt her pain and he wondered if Dean didn't talk to them because they'd hurt him. They'd fucked up and now he couldn't trust them. That thought twisted like a knife in his gut and he pulled Logan closer and refused to cry.

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Dean was leaning against the car, trying to get a hold of his emotions. He was angry, confused and hurt. He didn't want to talk about what happened. He didn't want anyone to know, especially Sam and Logan. He couldn't stand to see disappointment on their faces. He was glad he was out of the pit, and he never wanted to go back, but he hated not knowing why he was topside. Ruby almost knew more than he did and that really pissed him off. He wiped his face and then realized he wasn't alone.

She stood close by, and he could tell she hadn't meant to interrupt his solitude. He smiled. "Hey, how are you?"

She shrugged and stepped closer so she could lean against the car as well. She looked up at the stars. "Okay, I guess."

Dean watched her out of the corner of her eye even as he stared up at the sky trying to discern if she was looking at anything in particular. "Can I ask you something?" He paused and caught her faint nod. "What do they want me for? Do you know why they saved me?"

She dropped her gaze to his and shook her head. "I'm sorry. They aren't talking about it and it was after I fell."

He shifted, his hip to the car so he could face her a bit more. "That's another question. Why? Why would you fall and want to be one of us?"

Anna's expression became serious. "You don't mean that."

"I don't? We're a bunch of, of what? Miserable bastards. We eat, crap, we're confused, afraid…"

Anna interrupted him, "And you're loyal, you forgive…" She paused, her voice softer. "You have love?"

Dean almost grunted. "And pain?"

She chuckled. "Chocolate cake."

"Guilt?"

She shook her head and then flashed him an almost flirtatious smile. "Sex."

Dean smirked. "Okay, you got me there."

Anna turned to face him, more serious now. "I mean it; every emotion Dean…the good and the bad. It's why I fell. It's why I would give ANYTHING not to go back."

Dean paused, felt the guilt and self-disgust rise up inside. He swallowed, looked away. His voice was quiet and somber, "Feelings are overrated if you ask me."

She snorted. "Beats being an angel."

He rolled his eyes, "How? You guys are powerful, perfect, you don't doubt yourselves, God or anything?"

"All true, but we're prefect like a marble statue. We're cold, have no choice and can only obey." She took a breath. "Do you know how many angels have actually seen God? I mean seen his face?"

He shrugged. "All of you?"

There was disgust in her voice. "Four of us and I'm not one of them." She flopped back against the car in frustration.

"That's it?" He shifted, leaned back and stared back up at the empty sky. "Then how do you even know that there is a God?"

"Faith. We take it on faith and if we don't have enough we're killed."

"What?"

She sighed. "I was stationed on Earth and for two thousand years I just watched. I was silent, invisible, just out on the road, sick for home and waiting for orders from an unknowable Father I can't even begin to understand, so don't tell me…"

Dean laughed, he couldn't help it. It reminded his so much of his own childhood and early hunting years. Waiting for orders, doing his job, not knowing why John did things the way he did or even what he expected from his son…other than obedience.

Anna frowned at him, confused. "What is so funny?" When he shook his head and laughed again she insisted. "What?"

Dean shook his head. "Nothing, really. Sorry, it's just…" He paused and looked at her seriously. "I can relate."

Dean explained what he meant and she nodded and then shivered. "Maybe we should head in?"

Anna smiled and followed as he headed into the house.

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"Union, Kentucky, you sure?" Logan asked Sam a while later while they all sat in the kitchen.

He flipped the computer toward her. "Makes sense. A full grown oak shows up in a field in the space of six months, right after a "meteor" hits the site, which is nine months before Anna is born."

Dean shifted back in his chair. "So, guess we're going to Kentucky." He looked around the table, catching everyone's eyes. "Make sure you have the hex bags Ruby made. We can't afford to let these assholes find us out there."

Logan watched him and nodded, and then she was up and moving. "Let's get shit packed. The quicker we move, the sooner we get Anna back her grace…" She let her words trail off.

Anna looked at her. "The sooner you can get rid of me." There was a bit of hurt in her voice.

Sam shook his head. "That's not what she meant. None of us feel that way."

Anna watched Logan leave the room. "You might not Sam, but I think she does."

Dean followed Logan and grabbed her arm. "What the hell is your problem?"

She pulled her arm free and crossed them over her chest. "My problem is that ever since we got back from Pam's and you and angel girl had your little "heart to heart" or whatever in the yard, she's been all over you." Logan ran her hand through the back of her hair, spiking it up. Something she's started doing when she was upset. "Don't pretend you haven't noticed."

Dean sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Logan, she's scared and lost. We just talked. I think she just feels safe with me."

"Safe doesn't mean she has to all but sit on your damn lap."

"What the hell Logan? Jealous? Really? You think you have the right to be jealous?" He arched an eyebrow and didn't bother to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

Logan opened her mouth and then shut it. She didn't really want to fight, she was just still upset from earlier and then she found out that he was talking with Anna, a stranger with no connection and it hurt. She sighed. "Whatever…like I said, let's just get this shit done." She shoved past him and packed her duffle.

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Logan drove herself, she needed the alone time. She was getting frustrated with all the people under her feet. She was even more pissed when Anna's grace wasn't at the tree. Well, it had been there at some point, if they could trust Anna, but now it was gone. Supposedly, Anna heard the angels again and this time it was a threat to Dean. Return Anna or they'd throw him back in hell.

She had watched Dean's reaction to hearing this and it wasn't good. He was terrified and Logan figured she knew why. From what she'd seen with Sam that one time, it was worse than she'd ever imagined and she was sure that being there was worse than her vision. She had wanted Dean to ride with her, but she wasn't going to ask him and when she he didn't offer, she was upset.

She knew she should be, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to talk to him, reassure him and help him with the shit in his head. He wasn't letting any of them close. She sighed and turned down the radio, frustrated with the music.

She was behind the Impala when they got close to where they were going to crash, but she didn't follow them off the highway. She wasn't ready to feel crowed again; not ready to spend more time with Anna. She hit the gas and kept an eye out for a bar.

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Dean noticed that Logan wasn't following and cursed under his breath.

"She'll be fine Dean, give her some time to cool off." Sam offered from the passenger seat. "She really can handle herself."

Dean glared as he turned into the lot beside the house they were using. "I know Sam, doesn't mean I don't worry."

Sam smiled. "I know, but give her space and she'll be back soon enough."

Dean put the car in park and nodded. "I'll be in in a few." He shut off the car and pocketed the keys. "I just need to think."

"Okay." Sam climbed out of the car with Ruby and Anna and they headed in to the house.

Dean sighed, climbed out of the car and sat on the hood. He closed his eyes and dropped his head to his hands. He'd been that way for at least thirty minutes and was surprised when a hand set gently on his shoulder.

"Dean?"

He glanced over at the cute redhead. "Hey. Sorry we didn't find your grace." He smiled half-heartedly.

She shook her head. "It's okay. You, Sam, Logan and Ruby have done more than enough." She looked away and then back. "You had no reason to help me, but you did and that means a lot. I knew what would happen if I fell. I knew if I was caught I would cease to exist." She shrugged and then smiled. "It was worth it."

Dean didn't understand how it could be, but he let it go. He stared off into the distance, letting his thoughts wander. He was surprised by Anna's words.

"I know what happened Dean…in hell. I know what they did to you."

She paused and Dean wanted to scream that it wasn't what they did, but what he did that haunted him…that made him hate himself. He fisted his hands and ground his teeth together as it hit him.

Her hand was soft on his cheek. "I know what you did and you need to forgive yourself."

He looked at her, his grief obvious and he shook his head. "I can't and I don't want to talk about it."

He listened to her tell him she understands and remind him that when he's ready there are people who love him and can help him. Then she leaned in and kissed him. He didn't stop her and when she leaned closer, he deepened the kiss. His hands moved up to cup her cheek and slant her face.

Something about her touch dulled his pain and he wanted more of it. He slid his arm around her and pulled her between his knees. It was then that he felt her pull back.

She pushed gently against his chest and broke the kiss. He held her loosely, watched her catch her breath as he struggled to catch his own. The question was on his face.

"I want to Dean, but we can't. It wouldn't be right and trust me, when you let Logan in, you'll feel the same thing with her. It's not me, it's that I know and still want you." She kissed him gently one more time. "There's nothing to forgive Dean. Logan and Sam both love you and it doesn't matter what you did. Logan still wants you…she always will no matter what, just give her the chance."

With that Anna moved away and toward the house, leaving Dean sitting where she found him.

Neither one of them saw Ruby sneaking out the back, and no one noticed the soft ticking as the Dodge engine cooled across the lot.