APOV

I was alone a lot lately.

Billy had been avoiding me since I returned home. He'd been spending a lot of time Sue actually. For a while I actually thought that maybe Billy was showing some interest in her.

Jacob dashed those hopes in a matter of seconds once he reminded me of the recent loss of Harry, Sue's late husband.

Of course I had known about it, Harry had baby sat me loads of times while I had visited. It had been a shock when I found out he had passed on.

I pursed my lips and turned back to the TV.

The phone rang just as I found a show bearable enough to watch. I groaned and seriously considered just letting it ring.

I found two problems with that solution.

One, it might be an important phone call Jake or Billy might be expecting. Two, Jacob might give me hell if he had to listen to any messages when he got home.

Sighing, I went to pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Alexys," My eyebrows shot up at the familiar voice.

"Mom?"

"Yeah, hey sweetie," I didn't answer. "So, how you been doing? Billy told me you woke up, sorry I didn't call earlier," I frowned and plopped back down on the couch. I could just imagine my mom biting her lip with her rare, motherly concern.

"I'm fine, a little bored actually. Why'd you call?"

"I'm your mother aren't I? I should check on you," It sounded like she was waiting for a confirmation.

"I guess, but you never call,"

"That's not true," I rolled my eyes. I got more calls from vampires than I got from my mother.

I dropped it though and waited for her to something more. Maybe even get to her point.

"Ah, well, your friends back home miss you," I winced. The only friend that I would actually believe missed me would have been Tabitha, but she was her now. Speaking of Tabitha; I wonder if I could pull her away from Brady long enough to hang out with me...

"Right, well uh, tell them I say hi," I murmured still deep in thought.

"I will," my mother promised, "oh, and Jared says he misses you too," I immediately freed my fingers from the phone cord I had been absently twisting, and held the phone with both hands.

"What do you mean he misses me? Mom, have you been talking to him again?" My eyes narrowed. We had been through this. My mother wasn't allowed to talk to my ex. Any conversation between them would automatically turn to me.

"Well, I sort of ran into him at the studio, he was visiting his mom, and well he asked me how you were so..."

"What did you tell him," My voice turned flat, I could already guess.

"Well, I said you had just gotten out of the hospital, and he seemed genuinely worried. He really is a nice boy Lexy, maybe you should give him another chance," My mom's voice had gone from sheepish to pleading in mere seconds.

"Mom, I thought you knew, I'm dating again," I said this very slowly.

"Well, yes I met him, but he looks wrong for you. You and Jared seemed so right for each other..."

"Mother, I want him, not Jared,"

"Alexys, I'm telling he's the wrong type for you. I don't even remember his name! See now that's a bad sign, but what was his name again," I was about to spaz out at my mom when the window by the TV suddenly swung open.

I gasped and quickly came up with all of the worst conclusions.

But it was only Collin...

"Collin,"

"Yes, Collin, there we go. Even his name is off.... Alexys? Are you listening to me?"

"Mom, can I call you back," I managed to answer, focusing on my phone call.

"I doubt it; Billy won't like having long distance minutes on his phone Lex,"

"Talk to you later mom," I said, completely ignoring her worries. I dropped the phone before she could protest.

Collin stared at me for a while before he smiled.

"I thought she liked me, she seemed nice enough at the hospital," he was still smiling, but he stood as far away from me as the walls would let him.

"Yeah, well, she is an actress after all," I muttered. Collin chuckled.

I waited until it was quiet again before I spoke.

"You lied," I whispered looking down.

"What about," Collin's voice seemed reluctant.

"You said you wouldn't leave me again Collin, you lied to me,"

"I know, that's why I came back,"

"So you can leave me again," Collin winced.

"No, so I can apologize," he made his first advance toward me and I kept perfectly still. My heart accelerated though, an automatic response to his proximity.

He rocked back on his heels a few feet from me.

"I'm sorry," he muttered looking down. "I was stupid; I shouldn't have let you get to me like that,"

"Collin, I should have just shut up, it was my fault," I bit my lip.

"Yeah, you should've shut up and-," he stopped, "but it's not your fault," I got up and crossed the room to stand in front of him.

Collin didn't move.

"Let's just say it's both our faults and forget it," I suggested. He smiled.

"That's fine with me," He pulled me closer to him. I sighed happily into his chest.

"I missed you," I muttered.

He chuckled into my hair.

"It's only been a few days Lex,"

"I know, but being away from you for any amount of time hurts," I muttered.

"I hurt you that bad didn't it," he whispered.

"Yeah, but it's okay, you came back," He chuckled darkly.

"I thought I was too late, it didn't look like you would take me back," I sighed.

"It's like you don't know me at all," I frowned. "No matter what I say, you have to know that I'll always want you and no one else. Even if I do tell you I'll hate you forever, I'm lying," Collin laughed.

"Nice to know," I was thinking about Collin's laugh, and how familiar it was, when something occurred to me.

"How much of my phone call did you hear?" He didn't answer.

"Oh no, Collin!"

"What? It's not like you said anything bad," I pulled away from him.

"Well no, but still, how much did you hear?" He paused then sighed.

"Everything, it was harder to hear your mom's side though," The last bit didn't do anything to ease my shock.

"Oh no," I muttered, "That's so embarrassing!"

"No, it's not, even if it was, do you really care whether or not I heard?" I paused then nodded.

I held up a finger before he could complain.

"Yes, only because I know you love to tease me, and anything that embarrasses me now will be way more embarrassing when you bring it up again in the future," I pursed my lips and waited for Collin to laugh.

He didn't.

"Okay, if it makes you feel any better, how about I promise to forget all about it and never bring it up again,"

"Are you serious? Since when do you give up on a chance to make fun of me for life?" My thoughts automatically went to what Jacob had said about the fun days being over. I shook my head; I couldn't imagine Collin never teasing me again. I hated to admit it, but it wouldn't be the same without Collin's constant teasing.

Collin smiled.

"Hey, now that I know that my teasing upsets you, I'll try to do it less often," he shrugged and I felt the double meaning in his words.

As long as you're here, I won't do anything dangerous, not even tell a joke.

I sighed.

"Why do you make fun of me anyway," Now Collin sighed. "What?"

"You know how sometimes people ask questions and they have no idea how deep the answer is?" I didn't say anything. "This is one the many questions you've asked like that,"

"I have a talent," I muttered shrugging. He laughed.

"True, you have many talents," I shifted my weight to my other foot. I knew Collin was comfortable with standing still for hours, but I wasn't.

"Sorry," he apologized as I switched again, "I forget," He walked over to the couch, I followed gratefully.

I sat cross legged facing him, just like I'd done at his house a few days before.

"Well?" I didn't have to explain to him what I meant. We were so in synch it was probable he was already waiting for me to ask.

Collin sighed again.

"I bet you didn't know this, but when you're embarrassed, your skin heats up, like a fire being fed paper," my face heated up despite myself. Collin smiled, "When that happens I know you're okay, and that's really the only thing I care about right now, that you're okay. Safe and happy away from all things dangerous,"

"You don't have to worry about me that much, I can take care of myself," I muttered, defending myself.

"Yeah, but maybe from a cold or something, not a vampire or a werewolf. I know you don't want me to worry, but could you please cooperate with me? The last thing I want is to lose you. I've come to close to that before," I looked away and nodded.

"Fine," Collin stroked my cheek.

"Don't be mad, I know I'm a little over protective,"

"A little?" I scowled. Collin smiled, but otherwise ignored me.

"But it's only for you. You're the only person I care about, and I know it's going to be a lot less fun to be with me now," My eyes widened in shock. How did he know what I was thinking?

Collin grinned.

"Jake was out there too when I left, I heard his thinking about your conversation with him,"

"Oh,"

"Don't worry, I think I've found a pretty good way to keep my anger in check," I scoffed.

"Should've thought of it last week," I whispered. I'd obviously not learned my lesson yet because here I was, making Collin mad yet again.

"Should've," he managed to say between tremors. Collin's method was obviously not working. His shaking was getting worse and I wasn't even talking anymore.

"Collin," I said, panicking. I was too close, if he exploded now...

"No. Wait. Just. Want. To. Try. Something," he was panting now and I started to think he was trying to make himself angry on purpose.

"I would like to keep my face the way it is, thank you," I said starting to move away again.

His lips stretched out into a tight grin.

I stared at him in shock. Even through all this craziness, Collin could still smile at my sarcasm.

"Wait," he said again. Now I was starting to question his mental health. He had been the one who just said he was trying to protect me. Now he was trying to kill me.

I shook my head, but stayed put. If Collin killed me, he'd be in way more pain then I would be.

Collin was still trying to get his anger to the perfect point. He was shaking so bad, I could've sworn I saw some fur on his back.

Before I could check, Collin was kissing me. I was confused, so I didn't react. I was perfectly still.

It reminded me of a vampire and I shivered. This only made Collin's lips rougher on mine. He forced my mouth open.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was intertwining myself in Collin like I never had before.

I don't think Collin was really aware of what he was doing anymore. His huge hands pulled me closer to him. I was too tight against him, almost too tight to breathe.

I knew we were going too far, pretty soon I would regret even starting this.

Collin pulled away before I could take evasive action, which saved me a lost fight with Collin.

"Sorry, I got carried away," Collin was gasping for breathe, just like I was.

"What the hell was that for?!" I yelled at him. I couldn't be as mad as I wanted to be. I was still breathless from my close encounter with sin.

"I was just testing it out," he muttered.

"Your solution is to rape me?" I glared at the ground.

"No," Collin snorted and got up. "I didn't rape you," he got up and turned away from me. He wasn't pulling for air anymore, I was.

My eyes narrowed.

Wasn't Collin affected by me in the ways I was by him at all? Were my new found wants for him only one sided?

"You came pretty close," I muttered glaring. He wandered toward the kitchen.

I followed, still mad.

"Why are you mad at me? I didn't even do anything wrong. Help me Alexys, I don't know what you're thinking. What do you want me to say?" I sighed and looked at my feet.

"How about you say that you just had the best moment of your life," I peeked up at Collin's expression. He looked confused.

"Why?"

"Never mind, forget I said anything," That was a very vain hope. I knew that Collin wouldn't drop it.

I headed back to the living room and crammed myself into the corner of the couch.

"Nope, you're gonna tell me," Collin sat down beside me. I wrapped my arms around my knees and rested my chin on top of them.

"No," Collin poked my arm.

"Come one, please?"

"It's too embarrassing," I paused then sighed, "and stupid,"

"Nothing you say is stupid," he reassured me.

"Yeah well, you don't know what I'm thinking," I regretted what I said instantly. It would only make Collin more curious.

"Please," he begged. I winced.

"Fine," I bit my lip and looked away from Collin's curious gaze. He would be disgusted soon enough.

My mom was right. All those years she had been telling me I loved the spotlight and that I craved attention. Here I was, proving her right.

"You don't seem to, I don't know, feel the same way as I do about what just happened," I started slowly.

"I'm still sorry about that, I'll understand if you never want me to touch you again,"

I shook my head.

"No, it's," I paused, "I liked it, that was incredible. I never thought I would ever be with a guy like that after the whole thing with Jared. Then you," I stopped.

"I don't get it," he still seemed confused.

"That was the best moment of my life and I'm still trying to convince myself it actually happened. You don't seem affected at all, it just seems unfair to me,"

"You don't think I want you in that way," he summed up for me. I pouted and nodded.

"Hm, well, that is an issue," Collin pulled my face to look at him. He was smiling.

"An issue?"

"You're not as smart as I thought. I thought you would realize how much I-," he stopped mid sentence and his eyes flickered to the window.

"I love you, and I want you to be happy, that doesn't mean I don't see you,"

"I don't get it," Collin's eyes flickered to the window again. He grimaced.

"I'm still a guy Lex, nothing can change that, I see you just like every other guy does. I want you just as much as every other guy in high school did, except they didn't have you."

"So, I was wrong?" my eyes widened.

"Dead wrong," he murmured. My face heated up beneath his hand.

"But you don't act like it," I muttered.

"Neither do you, who would a thought that angel faced Alexys thought that way on the inside," He chuckled.

"Hmph," I looked away again.

"I don't act like it because that would make keeping you safe that much harder. I'm not stupid, I know how you think, if that's all you thought about all day, you wouldn't think about keeping yourself out of harm's way," I didn't answer. "Will you at least look at me?" I glanced at him through my eyelashes.

"Not so bad is it?"

"I'm not mad at you," I muttered. "A little mad at myself that you so through me before I even knew what to look for,"

"Hormones are a funny thing, but I've been expecting it, you're 18, it makes sense," I shrugged. This conversation was getting awkward fast.

"We have to go," he said suddenly getting up.

"Why?"

"Sam's been calling me for the past ten minutes, I've been ignoring him," He smiled toward the window.

"Oh, okay then,"

"You can stay with Emily until we get back, it's usually safe there," I nodded and let Collin pick me up.

"Try not to think about what we talked about okay?" he stared at me, the obvious question in his eyes, "I don't want to have that conversation with Jake or Billy," I scowled and Collin laughed.

"Afraid of The Talk, are you?"

"No, afraid Jake will rip my throat out while giving it to me," Collin smiled.

"I'll try my best,"

"Thanks," I sighed. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. "How old are you,"

"19," I frowned.

"When did your mom get married?"

"When she was 17, why are you asking so many questions?" I shrugged and smiled.

"No reason," Colin shook his head and knocked on Emily's door. The trip wasn't as long as I thought it would be.

"Alexys! Joining the party?" I nodded and stepped through the open door. Collin grabbed my arm. I looked back at him expectantly.

"I'll be back in a few hours, try not to miss me too much," he winked and kissed me gently.

"I'll try," I muttered, my head spinning slightly. He chuckled and disappeared.