Chapter 28: Utter Darkness
I forgive you. Three simple words; three bloody words that made him come undone. He would have been fine. He would have…been bloody fine if she hadn't look into his eyes, those…dark eyes and said… those words. He stood there, her bloodied arm still in his hands, and then she whispered those heart-wrenching words. She forgave him. He expected everything else, but not this, not those words.
Draco was slouched over, his head in his hands. Emily had done nothing to him, of course the occasional banter, but nothing else. In fact she had seen him at his worst and still she reached out to him; and what had he done for her, he had feed her to the sharks. It had been days since the incident, week's maybe, he didn't know. No one knew that he was the one who was evil, not her. His mission was complete: reveal to the world that she serves me. His master had ordered and he had served. He shouldn't care; he shouldn't feel for her, yet why was his heart so moved by those words, those syllables. He couldn't get that image out of his head.
Her head slowly rose. Her eyes tear stricken, her breathing heavy. Her eyes darted to the mark, then across the room. His eyes followed. Her eyes were focused on Harry. Harry's expression was one of disbelief and utter heartbreak. His fiery emerald eyes glanced at her mark, the floor, her mark, then back to the floor. Harry wouldn't look into her eyes. He took one last look at her mark and walked away. Draco could feel Emily's body give as she slumped into a heap on the frigid, marble floor. He kneeled beside her. He couldn't remember why but at that moment it seemed important. With his thumb he lifted her head, and then cleared her dark hair from her tear stricken face. Her eyes slowly opened penetrating his own. In an almost inaudible voice she whispered, "I forgive you."
Those eyes and those words pierced through his heart. The Shield Charm was disabled by no more than her own thought, and before he knew it she was gone, taken to some holding cell. He was taken away for questioning, congratulated by some, stared at by many. The next few days were a complete blur. He took a leave from school. In order to do...what the ministry called "wrap up business". He remembered being asked questions by the ministries top officials, then by newspapers, and then his picture being taken. He had a private meeting with the Minister of Magic, and offered a fine reward for snagging a Death Eater at such a young age. Yet, the worst part was returning to school. He was welcomed back like a bloody hero. What friends he did have were either apprehensive or jealous of him.
Yet, during all this time he was waiting to be called. He knew his master would want to see him himself and congratulate him on a job well done, but nothing came. It began to eat at him. Why wouldn't he have contacted him? Guilt plagued him day and night. He had sacrificed her in order to save himself.
Voldemort had found out about her and Harry, and he wanted Draco to come between them, to gain her trust, yet he couldn't go through with it. Maybe it was the knowledge that they deserved each other, that they needed each other. If he had followed through with Voldemort's plan everything would have crumbled. So he went against it, he urged her to follow her heart. The advice that he so wished to take for himself, he encouraged her to take. He knew it was wrong, that it was against his master's plans. Yet, he figured that he would never know the truth. Draco soon learned that failure is not in his master's vocabulary. After torture, utter embarrassment amongst his father and fellow Death Eaters Voldmort gave him one last chance to redeem himself. Reveal Emily's past to the world and his life would be spared, and he had.
Silence. It was what consumed her. The cell in which she was placed, her mind and heart as well were filled with it. A layer of darkness had encircled her life once again. Even though her trial approached and the thought of spending the rest of her life in Azkaban was upon her, she did not falter. Her mind was clouded from the present. How long had it been since her identity had been revealed? Weeks, days, she did not know. The only picture that was at the forefront of her mind was his face.
Emily re-ran that moment of her life continuously, the moment when he looked at her and simply walked away. Was it anger, hurt, or fear that drove him? Her new cell had become her chamber of solitude. It was a place she no longer feared but rather accepted. Little nourishment had left her body weak, but the pinnacle of her suffering flowed from her heart. The one thing she had feared had come to pass. She had finally allowed herself to love someone completely and they had turned their back on her. Emily thoughts strained. Yet above all things her mind reverberated with those words, now and always. She hoped that it had worked, because it depended upon Harry alone for it to. She thought he would have come. She thought he would have tried to find her, but he never had.
It was as if she couldn't physically survive without him. Each moment, each day seemed to drag on in the reality of being away from him. He filled her spirit and thoughts. She could no longer feel his presence. When they were together she knew his emotions, she could feel his pain, his thoughts, and his happiness. The separation was harder than she ever imagined it would be. It was only now that she had began to realize how much she relied on him, how much she was connected to him, a notion that left her utterly confused and afraid. Why was she so connected to him, why was the mere absence of his presence so devastating to her?
As the days became nights, her fate was unknown. The only thing she was certain of was her trial. It was simple: the Ministry officials would want her to tell them all she knew and then they would dispose of her as they saw fit. Whether they would send her to a cell in Azkaban or simply have her executed she did not know. All she knew was that if she revealed everything, what she had done, she was signing her own death certificate. She had spent the last days trying to figure a way out, yet nothing had been formulated. Without magic she couldn't escape, and the thought of being on her own again terrified her. The approaching trial could only go one way: she could only stand and not say anything and either be sentenced, like her father, to a life-long imprisonment in Azkaban or still an immediate execution. The dilemma was that she was unable to speak of what she knew as a Death Eater. As the last bit of daylight vanished against her cold stonewall she could hear the quiet sound of footsteps approaching.
"Black." A voice spoke from the darkness. It took her awhile for her eyes to adjust to the blue light that shined from the tip of a wand.
"Here." Her voice was barely a whisper. She had not spoken aloud in weeks. The figure loomed over the small cell casting a large shadow against the back wall. "Snape."
"Surprised?" He spoke as he dimmed the light on his wand.
"I should have known you were a part of this."
"It would seem you have it all wrong yet again." Snape placed his white hand on the bars, his eyes glancing at it curiously. "I figured the ministry would take top priority to keep you under control, but this is interesting."
"I never knew such magic existed." Emily could tell he had caught on to the spells that permeated throughout the cell, whether by feel or knowledge.
"A magic reducing but more powerful." Snape commented more to himself than to her. "Can you perform magic?"
"No. It's still there but I cannot even perform a levitating spell."
"Intriguing, most cells have no need since only few of our kind have learned the art of magic beyond the use of a wand. They must have known of your ability."
"A spy?" She muttered under her breath. "Was this a part of his plan? To use leverage against Draco to turn me in and then put me on display for all to see? Have others kill me instead?"
"Who knows? Possibly."
"You would! You know of his plans." Emily tried to move but her body felt so weak.
"I know what I over hear, what I can decipher. We are not all like you were." She felt the harshness in his voice. Was it jealousy or pride that made him despise her so?
"Then why come here now? What do you want Snape?" She spoke her eyes never leaving his.
"Your trial is to begin the day after tomorrow, did you know that?"
"No." Emily looked down at her pale hands. The only visitor she had seen these last few weeks was a guard who brought her stale bread and yellow water. "How long have I been here?"
"Two weeks. It has taken the Ministry that long to set a date."
"Or to decide the verdict." Emily mumbled.
"Possibly. Dumbledore is seeing to make it a fair trial."
"We're Death Eaters Snape, fair is never a part of the equation no matter what side."
"Have you thought about how you will proceed?" Snape asked.
Emily took a deep breath. Was that why he was here, to see what she was going to do, to hear what she was planning on saying? Her eyes caught sight of his expression. It was worry. She knew such a thing shouldn't affect her, but it made her doubt her own judgment about him. Which side was he on? Did he come for Dumbledore or for Voldemort?
"You know more than I how I am bound. I will do only what I can."
"There could be another way." He whispered, his voice hovering over the cell. "There is a spell around every rule, Black."
"I am already ahead of you, Snape." Emily stated with a slight smile.
