Chapter 29: Crashing Down
Ellie
I rolled out of bed and crashed to my hands and knees on the floor. Oh God. If I didn't
make it to the toilet in five seconds, I'd be heaving all over the floor. But it's so hard to even function right now. I just want to pass out.
"Ellie?" my dad knocked on the door. What's my dad doing here?
"Yeah?" I croaked out, swallowing hard. Please, God, do not let it come up now. How am I supposed to explain to my dad why I'm crawling on the ground and puking everywhere?
"Can I come in?"
"Dad, can I just see you when I get downstairs? I'm getting ready."
"Ellie, are you okay? You sound sick. Can I come in?"
"Dad, I'm fine. I'll see you downstairs!" I blurted out before throwing myself against the toilet. I probably coughed up a lung trying to get all of it out. Yeah, they never show this side of drug addiction in the movies... Let me tell you, it's real glamourous. But, hey, at least the constant puking is helping keep the weight off. I've read that sometimes weight gain is unavoidable after stopping drug use. We'll see about that.
"You've really done it this time, Nash," I whispered to my reflection. God. Ms. Sauve would take one look at my grey skin and haul me into her office. I really don't know how much longer I can go on just helping myself. It's been a week since my encounter with Dan and we've talked every day on the phone. I haven't really brought up the issues we talked about in the e-mails and everything, mainly I've just told him what happened in school that day or something stupid like that. He doesn't ask questions. I still have to go talk to Sean. We smiled at each other in the hall the other day, but nothing beyond that. I think we're both trying to give the other some space. Jay hasn't talked to me either. Or, I haven't let him talk to me. He tried coming up to me a few times the past few days, but I made up some random excuse and got the hell out of there. I don't know. I might talk to him today. Him and Sean. Sean might be willing to help me out.
The hot water felt good pounding against my skin and it took all I had to get myself out of the shower. Wrapped in a big, fluffy lime green towel I slowly made my way over to my closet. Lately I'd just been throwing on whatever jeans I could find and big sweatshirts. Maybe today I'll pick out something nicer since I'll be attempting to talk to Sean. Not that what I wear around him really matters or anything... I just want to look... nice.
I ended up choosing a grey denim skirt and a black and white top. Nothing too special. It's not like I'm trying to impress anyone here. My eyes skipped over my boots and I stuffed my foot into an old pair of Airwalks from, like, the seventh grade. Whatever. I can't even wear my boots anymore. Suddenly they've gotten too heavy for me to walk around in. I used to like the extra work-out they gave my legs, but now it's just too much.
A few bracelets and necklaces were the last additions to my outfit. I stepped in front of the full length mirror and took one last look at myself. My clothes looked fine, my jewelry looked fine, my makeup was superb as always, and my hair was still damp. Eh, It'd probably dry a little wavy, but, whatever, I don't have the energy to hold up a hair dryer. Ew, though. I seriously should have put on some fishnets or something. I haven't showed off my legs in awhile. They look completely gross. I turned to my profile and inspected my legs from all angles. They were smooth, but do I have to be so... bowlegged? I look like a fucking cow. I don't have the energy to care, though.
"I wanted to drive you to school so I could talk with you."
My dad looked over at me as we stopped at a stop sign. Okay, he has so surpassed the two-second rule. "Dad, you can drive now."
"Oh," he pressed on the gas and the car shot forward. "So, we haven't talked in awhile. Your mother mentioned that you showed her something really disturbing the other day, though."
I laughed hollowly. "Damn, it really takes a long time for a follow-up with you guys. I'm fine. I was just trying to freak mom out because she was acting like a bi-..."
"Don't talk about your mother like that."
"Why do you care? You're the one divorcing her." I glared at him out of the corner of my eye.
My dad let out an exasperated sigh and pulled over onto the side of the road. "Don't steer the conversation towards your mom and I."
"Dad, I'll be late for school. Please, can't we just do this some other time? Preferably never?"
"Ellie, you're cutting. This is serious."
I became suddenly fascinated with my nails. Did he have to say the word out loud? I know I'm cutting. And he knew that awhile ago when I told him about it. Why does it take him forever to actually hear what I'm saying?
"I've scheduled for you to talk with your school guidance counselor today during lunch. I really think she can help you figure out exactly what's making you do this."
Of course my dad scheduled me an appointment with Ms. Sauve. He'd rather hand me off to "professionals" than talk to me himself. Him actually talking to me about it might be the thing to save me, but does he know this? No. He doesn't even remember how to talk to me.
"I don't need her to know why I do it," I blurted out emotionally. I immediately wanted to take back those words. Did I have to sound so desperate?
My dad put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed affectionately. "Then why are you doing it, Elle-Belle?"
Elle-Belle. Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes. I love when he calls me that. It reminds me of when I was little and my parents were always around and we'd always do fun stuff together like dance around the living room and make cookies and my dad and I would always steal the cookie dough which just pissed my mom off, but she would always laugh at the cookie dough all over my face. Damn, I love these stream-of-consciousness moments I have.
"Dad, do you remember how mom would always get so mad at us for stealing the cookie dough?" I met my father's eyes.
"What?" my dad gave me a confusing look.
"The cookie dough... nevermind." I tried. I had tried to tell him why I do it, but he can't even remember stupid memories from when I was little. If he could remember those moments, he'd understand partially why I do the things I do.
We sat in silence for five minutes before my dad finally pulled back out onto the road and drove me to school. The car ride was quiet, only the radio softly reporting the stock market for the day could be heard. I kept my eyes averted to the outside and my dad stared straight ahead. How did things get so weird between us? Is this part of becoming a teenager and growing up? Aren't normal teenagers supposed to hate their parents and want to be left alone all the time? I don't want that. At least, I don't think I do. I just want my parents around. At least most of the time. I don't necessarily want them all in my business all the time, but I guess you can't have both things at once.
My dad pulled the car up to the school and I saw Sean heading in from the parking lot. He was alone. This is too perfect. All of a sudden I couldn't wait to get out of the car and away from the deafening silence. "Thanks for the ride, daddy," I said before going to shut the door.
"Ellie!"
I turned around and opened the car door back up. "Yeah?"
My dad smiled at me and started to nod. "You always had it all over your face. The cookie dough, I mean. Your mom and I had to wrestle you down to wipe it off. One time, you reached into the oven to get more cookie dough and burnt yourself. I held you as your mom pressed a hot washcloth against your hand. You didn't even cry, you were so brave. You said you'd never eat chocolate chip cookies again. That's why you don't like chocolate chip cookies. You like the dough, but you can't stand the cookie."
My hands started shaking. How did he remember this? I don't even remember it. That's why I don't like chocolate chip cookies. I tried to force words out of my mouth. Something that meant something, something with substance, but all I could say was "thanks". How stupid. "Thanks". Just like that.
I watched as my dad's car disappeared down the road and wrapped my arms around myself. For once, my dad was reminding me of something from my childhood. Who knows, maybe there's more he remembers. Maybe I haven't been totally fair to my dad the past few weeks. He's just confused me more than ever now.
"Ellie?"
I turned around at the sound of his voice. There he was. Standing in front of me, looking totally serious, and insanely irresistible. Stop thinking that. I cleared my throat and let me arms down to my sides. "Sean."
Sean
I hooked my left arm around my neck and looked up into the sun. "So, can we talk?" I
brought my gaze back down to Ellie in front of me. She had turned to look back at the direction her dad's car had gone in. She returned her eyes back to me after I spoke.
"Yeah," she sounded dejected and used. "I wanted to talk to you anyway."
We walked over to our special grove of trees, the one with "our" picnic table. I can remember the last time we sat here. She had been fighting with Marco and Ashley and basically the entire world. It didn't seem like it was that long ago. Was it? I can't even remember. I can't even bring a complete thought into my head these days. Their always consumed by her.
"What'd you want to talk about?" we both asked at the same time. Ellie lifted a corner of her mouth in a smile and smoothed her short skirt underneath her as she sat on the table. I sat on the bench below it, placing my arm on the table. I could feel her hand just centimeters away from mine. I'm sure she could feel the heat coming from my arm just as much as I could feel the coldness coming from her fingers.
"So," I began. I didn't really know what I wanted to say. Or how to start. Or how to form any meaningful word. "Your dad dropped you off."
Smart, Cameron. Way to make such an intelligent observation.
"Yeah, he came over this morning." She lifted her face into the sun and closed her eyes briefly.
"Are things okay between you guys? Between you and your parents?" Her eyes flew back open and flashed.
"Barely," she snapped. She groaned in frustration and dropped her face into her hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get all bitchy just now. Do you have any idea how confused and useless I feel right now? My dad- my dad... he's trying to be here for me, but I'm not making it easy for him. I don't really know why. I'm trying to punish him I guess for always disappearing on me. And my mom is acting as if everything is my fault. She's always on my back about everything- cleaning my room, if I have my homework finished, making dinner, cleaning the house... just everything. I showed her my arms the other day. I showed her my cuts, Sean."
I blinked rapidly, "Wow. That's a big step, Ellie. What'd she say?"
She laughed bitterly and waved her hand. "Oh, you know. She acted like it was the most disgusting thing on earth. And then she proceeded to yell at me some more. She told me dad, though. That's why he brought me to school today. He wanted to talk."
"So... did you?"
"No, not really. I was going to, but... I remember these things we used to do when I was little- stupid stuff really. The most trivial things to remember, but sometimes that's the stuff you remember the most. And I brought up one of those memories- you know, asking if he remembered it to. He didn't get it. I was going to explain to him why I do the things I do-..."
"Do you even know why you do the things you do?" I broke in. I waited. She's going to rip into me. I just know it.
But she didn't. She blinked once, twice. "No, not really, but there are things that I can just think about- like those memories- and then I see my life now and just thinking about it can trigger me to do just about anything."
"Yeah, that makes sense."
"You're humoring me, aren't you?" she smirked at me and my mind flashed to the moment on the roof when she told me to "dream on". She had given me the same look. I shook my head slightly. Why did I just think about that? That's ancient history.
"No, I'm not. I really think it makes sense. You think- you think of how things used to be, how easy things were, how much better things were, and, now, when everything's going to shit, you can see the huge contrast in your life. It's painful really."
"You sound like you're talking about yourself," Ellie replied softly. "Is something going on?"
I ran a hand through my hair. "Nah, not really. It's my mom's birthday today... I was just thinking about how things used to be. We couldn't spend money on each other. We had to make our presents or find them. I always got my mom flowers. I went out into this little meadow by the trailer park and picked those yellow things that always grow-..."
"Those are weeds."
"Yeah, they're weeds, but I never knew the difference and she never told me. She always acted like they were the most beautiful flowers in the world and she would showcase them in this makeshift vase we had. Damn. We really had nothing." I looked out across the campus. Wasaga Beach was about two hours from here. Only two hours, and I've never even gone to visit. Whatever, they didn't come to visit me either. They don't care about me anymore.
Ellie leaned down over her knees and played with her shoestrings. "That's so different from my house. I was always buying my dad diamond or onyx cufflinks or my mom cashmere or silk scarfs. I was given a credit card for my eighth birthday. When I was five they took me down to New York to FAO Schwartz. Have you ever been there?"
I gave her a "yeah right" look and she blushed. "Sorry... it's a huge toy store. It's crazy. We'll have to go sometime. It'd be fun. I'll buy you something."
I wanted to tell her that I didn't want her charity, but I decided against it. She wasn't meaning it in a pitying way. She just wanted me to have fun. "I can't believe you had a credit card when you were eight."
"Yeah, well, that's how it is. I think I'd rather have celebrated like you did. You know, something homemade that requires actual thought. My dad did surprise me, though, this morning."
"What'd he do?"
"He remembered something I didn't. I was so upset that he didn't remember that one memory, but then when I got out of the car, he did remember it. And then he told me how I burnt myself one time trying to get a chocolate chip cookie out of the oven while they were still baking. He said that's why I don't like chocolate chip cookies."
"Because you burnt yourself trying to get one out?"
"Yeah... weird, huh? He said I vowed I'd never eat another one ever again. And I haven't. Just the dough."
"Just chocolate chip cookies?"
"Yeah..." I started laughing. "Don't laugh!" Ellie couldn't help herself either. "Crazy, right?"
"Just a little. But that's you- crazy."
"Thanks... what a great compliment."
"I meant it in the nicest way possible."
We sat in silence for a little. Finally I mustered up the courage to ask her about the other day. "So, how's it coming- the quitting I mean."
"I knew that's what you wanted to talk about. I've been trying to avoid the subject this entire time."
"You can't avoid it forever. We got into a fight, we both said some pretty nasty things. You especially."
"Sean-..."
I interrupted her. "Listen, I'm not going to sugarcoat everything I say just to make it easier on you. You called me a rapist and then you lied and told me you fooled around with Jay. Do you realize how pissed I was at you?" My nostrils flared. I had to calm down before I got angry again. But seriously, she can say the most aggravating things sometimes.
"I know," she murmured. "I'm sorry. I barely even remember the things I said. I just thought- I thought-..."
"You thought I was Brayden. What is going on, Ellie?"
"Nothing! I just, I guess I was just remembering something between Brayden and I and then I opened my eyes to you and... I got confused."
"Yeah, and I think I know why you're so confused. Ellie, are you seriously staying clean?"
"Yes! Sean, I haven't touched a thing for a little over a week. I promise."
I looked into her eyes. She's telling the truth. I can tell. I sighed with relief and my shoulders immediately relaxed. "Good. I saw you, you know, at that charity auction. I went looking for you and saw you in the bathroom. You didn't even realize I had walked in. You were so out of it."
"I'm really embarrassed..."
"You should be. That killed me to see you like that. I thought you had it all together and... you don't. Not at all."
"I was trying so hard to keep it from you. I knew you'd be disappointed in me, and I can't stand the thought of you disappointed in me."
"Yeah... but I'm really proud of you now. You're getting better. You're being strong."
I smiled at her and she smiled back at me. I checked the clock tower and saw there were only five minutes before home room. "Come on, let's go." I reached my hands out and helped her off of the table. We didn't let go of each other's hands right away. We sort of let them slide slowly away from each other.
"Are things going to be okay between us?" Ellie asked me, looking at me sideways.
I shook my head but kept my focus on the ground. "Yeah, we're in this together."
"You and me?"
"Yeah, you and me."
Ashley
"How's this look?" I stepped out of my closet and modeled my new jeans and ripped t-shirt.
"Great, except for the fact that this is a party we're going to so..." Ellie came up behind me and started tugging on my t-shirt.
"What are you doing?" I shrieked as she started tying the back of it in a knot.
"Ashley, it's called showing a little stomach. You know, being sexy? Craig will be there, after all."
"Yeah, but I don't need to impress my boyfriend. But... what the hell. I dropped a few pounds these past few weeks, so might as well show it off. Do I really look okay?" I turned around to face Ellie and self-consciously touched my stomach and hips.
Ellie grinned and nodded eagerly. "You can so tell you lost some weight. It's great."
I looked once more in the mirror at my outfit and nodded in approval. "Yeah, I look killer. So, what are you wearing to the party?"
"I don't know if I'm going to go..." Ellie's voice trailed off and she traced the design on my bed.
What is with her? Normally she would never pass up a party. It'd be another chance for her to make out with random boys, get drunk, and find ways to make Sean jealous. My best friend instincts kicked in and I took a seat next to her on my bed. "Is something wrong, Ellie?"
She wouldn't even look me in the eye. She just shrugged and laughed it off. "No! I'm just... I don't know. Who's all going to be there?"
"Ellie, you're the one who told me about the party in the first place. I don't even know this guy. You have to go."
"Oh, Seth's great. You and Craig will be fine."
"But who will Marco have when Craig and I go off to make out?" I joked.
That got another laugh out of her- this one more sincere. "Well..." I could tell she was debating whether or not to go.
"Please? Pwease, Ellie Wellie?" I stuck out my bottom lip and got onto my knees to grovel at her feet. "You can't invite me to a party and then back out- what?- an hour before we're leaving? That's so not in the best friend code of conduct."
"Have I seen this code of conduct?" Ellie teased. "Well, fine, but only because Marco will go all queen on me if I don't go. Anyway, someone has to find that boy a boyfriend."
"Someone has to find you a boyfriend, Ellie! It's been forever!" I jabbed her lightly in the ribs and grabbed my makeup case from my floor. "Do my makeup?"
"If I must." She opened the makeup case and took out a stick of eyeliner. "Close your eyes. Who says I need a boyfriend? I can just have fun."
"Yeah, but I like you better with a boyfriend. You seem happier."
"I don't need a boy to make me happy, Ashley."
"I know! But then we can do fun stuff like double date."
"Have we ever double dated?"
"No, I don't think so. Craig would be too busy drooling all over you to pay attention to me."
Ellie
My hand froze in mid-air. "What?" I asked softly. Was she being serious? Did she know about Craig kissing me all that time ago? No way, she couldn't have found that out... unless Craig decided to turn over a new leaf and be honest for once. Oh God. If she knew she'd kill me. I didn't even do anything really and she'd kill me. She'd go after me just like she did with Manny. Poor Manny.
"Relax, I'm just kidding around. Well, actually I'm not because my boyfriend seems totally enamored by you. But whatever, I have him. He's satisfied, I think."
"He's definitely satisfied. Open your eyes. Craig doesn't like me. We work on projects together, but only because we're always assigned as partners. That's it. We're friends."
"You don't have to convince me. I know you guys are friends. Why, is there something going on that I should know about?" she opened one eye and I jumped back.
"Don't scare me like that. Do you know how creepy it is to have one eye staring at you?"
Ashley
I laughed and closed my eye again. "You're so jumpy lately. If I didn't know anybody I'd
think you were on speed or something. Anyways, why would you even think of not going out tonight?"
She sighed. "I don't know, okay? Let's drop it. I'm going, that's all that matters."
"We have to find you an outfit then. You can just borrow something of mine. Oooh! I know exactly what you can wear!" my mind ransacked my closet and I remembered this cute white skirt I had picked up a long time ago for no apparent reason. I've never even worn it. I don't know why I got it- it's not exactly my style. But it's cute.
"Oh really? And what can I wear?"
"This white skirt I have. Ellie, you'll look amazing in it."
"Okay, but only if I can wear your mom's amazing black boots... think she'll let me?"
"Ellie, she'd gladly give you the boots if you asked. My mom loves you. You're the only one who's crazy enough to put up with me, even at my worst." I laughed and looked in the mirror at my eyes. "Did it seriously take you all that time just for eyeliner?"
"Eyeliner is a serious step in looking good. It's the basic step."
"Could you pile a little more on?" I asked sarcastically.
"You can never have too much eyeliner."
"Well, how about some bright blue eyeshadow to complete the hooker look?"
She laughed. It feels really good to joke around with Ellie again. It's almost like old times. She applied my eyeshadow and added a little blush to my cheeks. "There. You look great. Put on some gloss and you're ready to go."
I inspected her work in the mirror and gave her a thumbs up in approval. "Okay, let me grab the boots and we'll get you ready."
"Um, where's the skirt? I'll put it on while you get the boots."
"I'll just get it when I get back. I have to find it first."
"Well, can't you just find it now and then get the boots?" she kept shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
I gave her a weird look but opened my closet door anyway. "Um... okay..." I rummaged through the piles of clothes thrown everywhere and finally found the bag the skirt was in. "Here you go. Price tag still on it and still in the bag. I'll go get the boots."
Ellie
I watched as Ashley bounded out of the room and I quickly stripped off my own shoes
and skirt. Thank God she agreed to let me change while she got the shoes. Ugh. My legs felt so heavy. I tried to kick the skirt off of my feet, but ended up falling back on the bed. Great. I struggled to get myself back up to a standing position. There, the damn skirt was off. I tried to peel my socks off as fast as I could, but it ended up taking about five minutes.
"You're still not dressed? What've you been doing? Looking at how amazing you look in the mirror?" Ashley teased me as she entered the room without even looking at me. She set the knee-high pointy boots on the floor next to the bed and went to messing with her hair in the mirror. I bit my lip and reached for the white skirt next to me. Did she have to be so fast? She glanced at me in the mirror and her mouth fell open. "Ellie! Are you even eating?"
"What?" I practically shouted. She had caught me off guard.
"You're way too skinny. I'm getting my mom..."
"Ashley! Are you crazy? I just got over the flu."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously." I gave her my most honest expression.
She broke out into a smile and gave a sigh of relief. "Good. You were scaring me there for a second."
That's all I need. Ashley telling her mom that I'm not eating and I'm too skinny. There are certain rules in life. One, you can never have too much eyeliner. Two, you can never be too skinny. I'm sure there are a few more, but my mind's drawing a blank right now. It took me ten minutes, but I managed to finally get the skirt zipped up. It hung off of my hips.
"Do you have a belt I can wear with this?" I asked Ashley absent-mindedly. I didn't want her to think I really, really needed a belt. I just have awesome fashion sense and think a belt would look great with the skirt.
"Yeah, pick one out." She gestured towards the closet door where an arrangement of belts hung. I picked a wide black belt and wrapped it around my hips, poking it through the very last hole. Hopefully that'll hold the skirt up. "Um, so what shirt should I wear?"
Ashley gave me a clueless look. "I don't know... Oh hey! You left your one shirt here- the black one?"
I gave her a look.
"You know. The black one. Okay, whatever, you have a million black shirts. The see-through one?"
"Oh! I've been looking for that!" I was so relieved. Seriously, I thought that shirt was gone forever. She perused through her closet and handed me a hanger with the black shirt on it. I don't know what I'd do without this shirt.
"I'm going to go get the curling iron. BRB!" Ashley sprang out of the room.
I quickly started clawing at my shirt trying to get it off and the other one on before she came back in. Thank God. Just as I was pulling my black shirt down over my stomach, she came back in, curling iron in hand. I checked out myself in the mirror and smiled slightly. I love this shirt. I admired the way it showed off my shoulders. The horizontal black satin stripe across it covered up just enough.
"I'd kill to have shoulders like yours. They're so... elegant."
"My shoulders are elegant?" I responded dryly as I fussed with my hair in the mirror.
"Yeah, you know what I mean. Mine are so round."
"You look great, Ashley. Anyway, you're also round where it counts." I leaned forward to reapply my eyeliner.
Ashley looked down at her chest and laughed. "True, true. I thought this shirt showed me off quite nicely."
"Oh yes it does. Craig will be at attention all night with you in that shirt."
"Speaking of Craig... about that boyfriend we're going to find you tonight..."
"Thanks," I muttered sarcastically as the stupid girl next to me once again bumped into me. Girls like her give redheads like me a bad name. She flipped her bright red curls into my face, and I poured the remainder of my bottle down her back.
"Hey!" she squealed, turning around, but I was already making my way back to the bar to get another beer.
"Nice trick," a voice whispered in my ear.
I looked up at who the voice belonged to. He tossed his shaggy blonde bangs hair out of his eyes and shrugged innocently. "I couldn't help but notice you."
"Thanks," I started over towards the bar again. The guy followed me.
"You can call me Ryan."
"Okay, Ryan. You can call me Ellie."
"Ellie, I like it. You go to Freemont?"
I furrowed my eyebrows. Freemont? What the hell was Freemont? Oh yeah, Freemont High School... we're we really in Freemont? I shook my head and moved closer to him to let a group of drunk guys barrel past me. "Nope, Degrassi."
"Oh. Do you know someone here?"
"The host. Seth."
"Oh really? How do you know him?"
"I had to interview him for a co-op."
"Let me guess- the topic was 'Leaders of Tomorrow'?"
I laughed. "Yeah, how'd you know?"
Ryan rolled his eyes and lifted his beer in the air. "Well, Seth is student-council president, president of future business leaders of the future, he's also quite prominent in the National Honor Society, and a million other clubs. How could that not be the topic?"
I laughed again. "Yeah, you're right. He's cool, but he really likes to talk about himself."
"Yeah, tell me about it. But- I guess I don't have much room to talk. I'm VP of Student-Council and Future Business Leaders of the Future and I'm also in the National Honor Society and the Investment Club."
"Oh, a hypocrite!" I teased, grabbing a beer out of the cooler.
"What can I say? I'm going to be rich!" Ryan took my beer and opened it for me. "There you go, sweetheart."
"Yeah, don't call me sweetheart, muffin."
"Oh, a spit fire! It's nice to actually have a girl around here who can joke around and not constantly be batting her eyelashes at me."
"Yeah, must be rough having all the girls all over you."
"Yeah, it gets annoying..." he grinned. How come I didn't notice before how irresistible his smile is? Damn... He leaned towards me. "You want to go somewhere?"
I looked around the room and spotted Ashley, Craig, and Marco talking to Seth. See, I knew they'd be fine without me. They hadn't even realized I'd been gone for ten minutes now. Ashley's the one who told me I need to get a boyfriend. And she offered me this slutty white skirt. And how many times do I get to show off her mom's amazing boots? I might as well make the most of this moment. "Yeah, let's so somewhere," I whispered into his ear teasingly.
