Naruto sits at his news desk. "If someone kills you in a forest, will it be classed as an assassination if no one else is there to know about it? Well, turn to chapter one: Naruto News Show and find out right now..."


Naruto News Show: Series Three

By PikaFlash And the News Team

Edition 9: Pokémon President

Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and scenes are not.


Naruto sits at his news desk.

"Uzumaki Naruto here and free drinks for everyone, void on first drink. And on the news this chapter..."

Pokémons and Digimons agreed to read each other's Seiyuu scripts...

Aerith Gainsborough reincarnated into a Lopunny.

And Orochimaru's body transplant. We speak to the unlucky recipient...

Naruto looks at the camera. "Onto some real news. Are Pokémon Trainers getting what they bargain for? Neji Hyuga has more."


A Pokémon Trainer was walking along a path...

Neji: "This is Hikari, a Pokémon Trainer. Neji Hyuuga in Sinnoh..."


Back to Naruto at his desk. "Unfortunately, that was too short, so I asked Neji to redo the story and add in some filler..."


A Pokémon Trainer was walking along a path...

Neji: "This is Hikari, a very angry Pokémon Trainer. Unlike most Pokémon Trainers who catch Pokémon to be used in competition, Hikari wants to reincarnate into a Pokémon so that she could battle. Ethical Pokémon Professors say that it's not possible, but unethical Pokémon Professors say it is possible."


Hikari - not her real name, unless this is the Japanese version

"I want to reincarnate myself into a Piplup," said Hikari. "But I don't want to die so that I could do it. I want to reincarnate right now!"


Hikari is now undergoing surgery...

Neji: "Thanks to the combination of Unethical Pokémon Professors and plastic surgery, it is possible for a human to become a Pokémon. After days of trying to get used to be a Pokémon, Hikari underwent the operation and it was a success..."

A time skip later, a Pikachu was exercising in a yard. "Unfortunately, not the way it went, but a success nonetheless..."


Neji is outside a random hospital in Sinnoh, finishing off his report. "The moral of this story is that we must never let a Fanfiction Author to perform an operation like this ever again. Otherwise it will be like those fanfics where humans morph into Pokémon. This is Neji Hyuuga for the Naruto News Show."


Naruto looks up from his desk. "Meanwhile in very old news, Konoha has finally got its first female Hokage. Let's see how it's going right now..."


Live - Konoha

Shinobis were rioting as ANBU threw tear gas towards the rioters...


"Business as usual," said Naruto.

Ash Ketchum is the greatest Japanese President ever!

Naruto looks up the next story. "Anyway, onto the Japanese Election, with the Ash Satoshi Ketchum becoming the second Japanese President, he has now gained the power that was once in the hand of a man who used the military budget for dessert. Joining me in our Tokyo Studio is Pokémon Party Advisor, Hanabi Hyuuga. In our Osaka Studio is Tenten, independent candidate. In our Suna studio is Temari, representing the Japanese public. And in our Otogakure studio is Orochimaru. However, describing who is in our various studios took up too much time so right now it's... "


Kakashi is reading Icha Icha Tactics outside the Hokage building. "...this," said Kakashi.


Science and Technology

Naruto is at his usual news desk. "Hypnotherapy has proven to aid Shinobis who had Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. In here with me in the studio is Hypnotherapist Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke, some say that Hypnotherapy is a quack job, but is has been recognized by the best rated hospitals, including Konoha Hospital. What are your thoughts?"

Sasuke is wearing a doctor's coat over his Shippuden outfit sitting on the opposite side of Naruto's desk. "Well, I'm glad it's working well as I have lots of people under my control so that I can build an loyal army of Shinobis for me to use against my brother, Itachi and take over every Ramen factory in the world by the year 2010."

Naruto nods. "Right, I'm sorry Sasuke but I think we're losing the satellite right now." Naruto looks at another camera.

But right now...


"This," finished Tsunade after finishing a large jug of Sake...


Naruto is by himself at his news desk. "Before we move on, let's have a quick look in Konoha under the watchful eye of the Fifth Hokage..."


Live - Konoha

Dead Pokémons were lying on a drought-ridden field...


"Should have thought about using the waters on that instead of brewing your Sake," said Naruto. "Anyway, it's been a few days since Japanese President Satoshi has won the election, so the question right now is former Pokémon Party Leader Fat Giovanni dead? Well, throughout the election campaign, Giovanni was as visible as an invisible force field. However, there is undeniable proof when we were able to reverse what President Satoshi has said..."


Ash Ketchum's Victory Speech

Newly elected President Ash Satoshi Ketchum is speaking backwards. "Giovanni is dead..."


Moving on to the next news story by Naruto. "People, can we trust them? We left this expensive, unattended Porsche in a back alley in Tokyo, unlocked and with the keys in the ignition..."


In a back alley in Tokyo, a lone Porsche is parked there.

Naruto: "Three months later, it was gone."

Three Month Time skip

Shikamaru Nara is standing the same alley, with the Porsche no longer there.

"It has been a terrible blow to our budget," said Shikamaru. "If you have seen anything, anything at all, then you guys are luckier than the Sound Five. Look at what they accomplished."


Back to Naruto in the Newsroom.

"And while we're at it, I would also like to add in my plea for help," said Naruto. "If you have any information, any information at all, please contact me because I'm writing an encyclopedia."

Naruto looks at the camera. "And before we go, a look at tomorrow's papers..."


Konoha Times - Pokémon Forever!

Naruto: "OMG?"

Konoha Herald - Go! Pokémon Go!

Naruto: "WTF?"

East Konoha Weekly - Congratulations to our Glorious Overlords, the Pokémons!

Naruto: "BBQ?"


"To finish off the Naruto News Show, we decided to do something different. Some of the old fanfics finish off with parodies of some songs. Unfortunately, we are no different, but the only difference is that this band was on the phone I heard when I was calling the Internet company which I connect to called KNS and here they are!" said Naruto. "Until next time, we'll see you next time until then."


Sakura, Lee, Kiba were standing in front of some microphones and Tenten, Shino, Choji and Ino were on stage playing the instruments with Shino on the saxophone, Tenten at the keyboard, Choji with the guitar, Ino on bass, Kiba with another guitar, Lee with sunglasses and Sakura dancing.

Lee: "This is KNS internet company, where we will offer you generous rewards."

Kiba: "Our operators will be with you shortly."

Lee: "KNS internet company offers wide range good policies which can ensure fast internet connection."

Kiba: "Your call is important to us."

Lee: "KNS internet company has valued our customer's feedback and will take your calls seriously."

Sakura finishes off the song. 'Hi, this is Sakura from KNS!'


Narrator: "The Naruto News Show is filmed in front of a live studio audience. Obviously it wasn't very good since they all walked out..."