Chibs sat up beside Lily in her bed and open thick mystery novel open in his lap the lamp on the table beside the bed providing just enough light for him to see. He glanced over at Lily thankful to see that she was sleeping peacefully even after the long difficult night they'd had.

He stared down at his book his vision blurring the words unclear. He had been really looking forward to maybe finishing the novel tonight but it seemed his brain had other plans.

Chibs knew people would never believe it just by glancing at him, but he was a huge book lover. He would read just about anything he could get his hands on; cookbooks, horror novels, mystery novels, biographies, even magazines.

His mother had always encouraged him to read buying him books when she could afford the extra expense. You can learn just about anything from picking up a book, that was what she'd always told him.

Of course back then he'd just rolled his eyes at that piece of advice. He'd been so foolish ignoring his education, he knew this now. He had barely made it out of school. The teachers wrote him off as being a mouthy streetkid who'd never amount to anything worthy.

After Kerrianne was born Chibs had recaptured his desire to learn. He wanted the best for his daughter. He wanted her to take her education seriously and to not give up the way he had.

So he tried his best to make up for the past; tried to educate himself now even if his Kerrianne wasn't here to see it.

Chibs knew of course what people thought when they looked at him. Most people probably assumed he couldn't even read. Most people thought he was just a dirty biker. They looked at him the same way his teachers had back in Glasgow; like he was too rebellious, he talked too much, he daydreamed too much, he didn't take anything seriously.

It was times like that when Chibs wished he could take those who wrote him off as being dumb to his apartment and show them the overflowing collection of books he'd amassed over the years.

Chibs pushed his reading glasses up on his head for a brief moment rubbing his tired eyes with his fingertips. He sighed the rubbing causing him to see splotches of all shapes and sizes. He opened his eyes the rubbing doing little to clear his bleary tired eyes.

He shoved his glasses back in place staring at his book for only a moment before he looked over at Lily's sleeping form.

He reached out his fingers gently pushing a few strands of her long locks back to rest behind her ear. He resisted the urge to brush his fingertips along her bruised jaw afraid that even the lightest touch would cause her pain.

In the past hour or so Chibs had found himself peeking over at her every few seconds still trying to convince himself that she truly was okay

They'd stayed in the bath and talked long after their skin had gone pruney. They'd tried to keep the conversation light given the fact that they were both still so emotionally raw from these past few days.

Chibs had told Lily about the moose he'd seen standing on the side of the road while he was leaving Canada. Lily had told Chibs about how Tig and she had played poker while munching on sweet caramel popcorn.

Even with the light conversation there had been an air of stress around them like a storm cloud that wouldn't fade away.

The talk they'd had before getting into the bath had left both Chibs and Lily feeling as though they'd cried all the tears available within their bodies.

Chibs was stunned he'd fallen apart so easily. He had never been one to break down like that without even a second thought.

No matter how shitty he felt he usually did all he could to keep it together. Yes occasionally he could lose his temper when it came to club shit, usually when he felt he was going unheard or someone wasn't respecting the rules of the club.

He was usually so levelheaded though, more so than this club brothers. Most of the time Chibs tried to let his mind rule over his temper and his emotions.

He just couldn't keep his cool when it came to Lily though. It seemed that this act of keeping it all together went out the window when it came to the ones he loved.

The knowledge that he'd almost lost Lily to Julio had broken Chibs. The idea of losing Lily frightened him.

He hadn't been lying when he'd told Lily that he didn't know what he'd do without her.

It was almost funny how much she'd changed his life for the better in such a short amount of time. It had all happened so fast, but he couldn't bear the idea of losing any of it.

He didn't know how to put into words how he felt about her. All he knew that when he was with her everything felt okay. He felt safe. He felt like when he came home to her he could put aside all the bullshit from his day and just truly and completely relax.

The idea of ever losing Lily made Chibs feel sick to his stomach.

He was so overwhelmed realizing just all the horrible things that could have happened to Lily. The thoughts of just how many things Julio could have done to hurt Lily made Chibs feel like he was going to vomit.

His brain kept on concocting up images of Lily in pain, Lily frightened, Lily crying out for him to come help her and save her from it all.

He kept on picturing how difficult it must have been for Lily to have to kill Julio. Yes she hadn't had any other choice, but still she had never killed anyone before.

The only thing Lily had ever shot at before then was a few old beer cans in target practice. That was nothing compared to the actual act of killing a human being.

Chibs still felt so guilty that he wasn't the one to protect Lily. That was his job; he was supposed to protect her. He was supposed to fight for her and kill for her if necessary.

He kept on thinking that he'd failed her somehow by not being there to take care of Julio for her. He kept thinking that he should have been there to spare her from the burden of taking a life.

Though Chibs was exhausted he found himself unable to fall to sleep. All those thoughts of guilt and fear kept on rolling through his all too active brain refusing to give him even a second of peace.

He found himself feeling the need to sit up and watch over Lily for just a little while longer.

He kept on replaying Gemma's comments in his head; the statement about Lily breaking eventually.

Chibs couldn't help but to feel guilty that he'd been the one to fall apart. It should be Lily falling to pieces not him. He should be the strong one; the one who held Lily while she let it all out.

He had tried to be the strong one in their relationship so far. He had let Lily cry on him when she needed it. He had tried to encourage her to open up about all the bullshit she'd been going through since they'd met.

Chibs had told himself that it was his job to be the strong one; Lily's man who looked out for her and loved her through all the crap life threw their way.

Chibs sighed knowing that this wasn't how a relationship worked. Being the strong one had to go both ways. You had to support each other; be one anothers source of strength.

It might be a man's job to protect his old lady, but it was an old lady's job to give her man the strength
t the real trick of this all was finding the right equal balance of both of these jobs.

Chibs snapped his book shut unable to focus on anything but the thoughts rolling around in his head. He turned to place his forgotten novel down on the bedside table his eyes landing on two familiar envelopes.

He'd been in such a rush when he'd gotten home earlier. He had unpacked so quickly that most of his things that he couldn't fit in the dresser or the laundry hamper had wound up sitting on the bedside table.

He already knew just what was inside the larger envelope. It was the remaining pictures from the photoshoot Lily had done at Cara Cara for him. He had flipped through the photos more than once during his alone time on the road.

He pushed the envelope aside staring at the simple light blue envelope below. It was a simple standard letter sized envelope with his name written on it in dark ink; Filip as well as a message: Don't Open Me Until Your Birthday.

Chibs' birthday had come and gone while he was on the road, but he had yet to open the envelope.

He picked the envelope up tearing it open neatly almost afraid that he'd rip it. He pulled out a plain sheet of lined notebook paper Lily's handwriting clear on the pages in black ink; neat, her l's looping, her i's dotted with tiny circles.

He smiled as he began to read the letter

My sweet handsome Filip,

If you're trying to read this before your birthday you better put it back in the envelope right this second! I will be able to tell if you read this before your birthday, I have my ways of knowing. If you're reading this on your birthday then I'm proud of you for being a good boy for once. I know this might seem a little stupid; writing you a letter and everything. But I thought it might be a nice idea since we're apart on your birthday and everything.

So here it goes. First of all let me start by saying Happy Birthday. I wish I was there with you, although I don't think I'd like hanging around McKeavy very much from the way you describe him.

I hope that even with having to deal with McKeavy that you're having an amazing birthday.

I miss you so much. I promise that when you get home I'm going to show you just how much I'm missing you. I'm going to spoil you just the way I know you'd spoil me.

I know I say this a lot but I love you Filip. I really honestly do. I don't think I've ever felt so complete in my entire life.

I know it sounds so cheesy but with you I wake up every single morning so ready to start my day because I know that I'll be waking up with you by my side.

To be honest most of my life I've felt kind of like I was on my own. I know that sounds dumb. I mean I wasn't alone, not really. I had my dad as hopeless as he is most of the time. I had the guys of SAMCRO who all loved me and took care of me in their own way. I had Jax and Opie the two best big brothers a girl could ever have. And most of all I had Gemma. She has always been the one person I know who I can look to in times of need. She's been my role model for as long as I can remember. I have always trusted her to protect me. She has always looked out for me. And most importantly she gave me a family when my own failed.

Most of the time though I've felt like I'm sort of orbiting between two families not completely belonging to either. I know I belonged to SAMCRO more than to the Unsers. I could say that that belonging to that world is unconventional, but I know that you understand it; how the club can be a family when you have no one else.

I never felt like I fit in with the Unsers. I know my dad tried, but he didn't try hard enough. And Della was, well she was Della. Kate was just as bad as Della; a bully. Jade was too young to really make much of a difference.

If I hadn't had Gemma I am sure I wouldn't have survived as dramatic as that probably sounds. She was my savior really. She gave me a home when I was lost.

I can still remember the day I moved in with Clay and Gemma. It was after a stupid fight with Della. I was being the typical mouthy teenager smarting off to Della. I told her that she couldn't tell me what to do, she wasn't my mother. And she just gave me this cold smile and said "thank god for that"

To this day I'm still amazed that Gemma didn't murder Della for that along with everything else Della put me through. I know that Gemma gave my father a mouthful though.

I don't know quite what happened with my dad and Della. All I know is that my dad forgave her and life moved on.

After that I lived with Clay and Gemma though. I guess my father at least loved me enough to know I was better of there.

I was happy there. Gemma loved me being there. I can still remember how she talked Clay into giving her the money to go buy furniture for my new bedroom and paint for the walls.

Gemma has always treated me like I was her own and I have always soaked it up.

Most of my life both Luann and Gemma have told me I'd fall for a Son. I never really paid much attention to it though. I had my mind on getting the hell out of Charming. You can probably imagine how it was growing up a girl in SAMCRO's world.

The guys developed a talent for scaring any prospective boyfriends away. I was lucky I somehow even managed to find a date for prom. Of course Jax proceeded to have a "talk" with that date so the poor guy was so terrified that the entire night was a mess.

As you can imagine this got old real quick. I wanted to see the world. I wanted to go somewhere where no one knew just who I was. So I jumped at the chance to go up to Seattle and go to school. I wanted to have an adventure, be on my own; no SAMCRO, no dad, just me and my camera.

When my father called me with the news that he was sick and needed me to come home I thought my adventure had come to an end.

Then I met you and I realized that maybe the adventure was just starting. I came to realize that this adventure was going to be greater than I could ever possibly imagine.

You make me happy Filip; truly and completely stupidly happy. When I'm with you I don't feel like I'm orbiting anymore. I feel like I have my feet flat on the ground.

I've truly found my place with you. You are the most amazing man I have ever met. I am so proud to be your old lady. I only hope that I make you feel as happy and as loved as you make me feel.

I can't wait to see what lies ahead for us. I know that whatever it is It'll be amazing because I'll have you.

I love you my wonderful man, Happy birthday.

Love Lily.

Chibs folded the letter back up stunned as he realized that his eyes had grown a little damp. The letter hadn't been what he was expecting, though he hadn't been quite sure what he was expecting.

His surprise didn't take away from how truly beautiful the letter was though. Yes Lily had told him a couple of these things at least once, but seeing it all written down on paper made it feel all the more real.

She loved him, not only did she love him but she wanted a future with him. The knowledge that she wanted a life with him had put him on cloud nine.

It was such a rush knowing that she wanted a life with him given all the times he'd told himself that he could never give her a life worthy of her. He could already picture this life in his head; a long life filled with joy. Lily was right it was going to be an adventure.

Chibs put the letter back in the envelope a small smile on his face. He already knew that this letter would be cherished. It was almost funny here he was in his mid forties getting his very first love letter.

Chibs placed the letter back on the bedside table knowing that he'd have to find a place for it tomorrow. He took off his reading glasses as well placing them on top of the letter glad to be rid of them. The glasses were just another sign that he was getting older. Although his vision had never been great.

He rolled over onto his side his eyes locking on Lily as she whimpered in her sleep a slight frown crossing her features.

Lily shoved the comforter down the heavy material weighing her down. She opened her eyes as he felt a hot breath hit her cheek.

Lily widened her eyes as her blurry vision cleared spotting a figure standing over her. She felt vomit rise in the back of her throat as her mind registered just who the figure was.

Julio grinned down at her the gaping wound where she'd shot him still embedded into his neck. The wound was blackening with dried blood and it seemed that a few maggots had hatched in the wound making it a festering bloody pit.

She could smell a horrid stench fermenting from Julio; like rotting meat as he leaned down closer to her to light hitting his skin revealing that it was an ashen gray. Julio spoke his voice scratchy as his arms stretched out to grasp her frightened form. "Hey Puta."

Lily felt warm hands on her shoulders a different voice sounding out. "It's okay love. It's okay come on now wake up. Come on now Snow, wake up love."

Her eyes snapped open Chibs' worried face being the first thing she gazed upon. He was staring down at her his brow furrowed his face locked in a grimace.

Lily sat up in bed Chibs not releasing her from his hold. Lily ran her hands through her hair her body damp with cold sticky sweat.

She took a few ragged breaths as she spoke more to herself than to Chibs. "It was a dream."

"Aye love...a dream." Chibs replied the grimace still upon his face. He ran his hand through her sweat damp locks trying to soothe her any way he could.

Lily pulled from his hold embarrassment sinking in making her feel pathetic. She took a few more ragged deep breaths doing what she could to calm her speeding heart.

She sighed a voice sounding off in her head It was just a dream stupid. No reason to freak out. Look at you panicking over something that was all in your head.

Lily gave Chibs a tight smile trying her best to ignore the fact that her heart was slamming in her chest. "Sorry I woke you."

Chibs' brow furrowed farther completely stunned that she was apologizing to him over this all. "Ya got nothin to apologize fer love."

She shook her head turning her gaze from him as she continued to scold herself for the panic swirling through her. All she could hear was Gemma's voice sounding off in her brain Keep control, don't let this bullshit drag you down. Be tough just like I taught you.

"Yes I do. You're exhausted Filip. You don't need me waking you up because I had a bad dream. It's not like I'm five."

Chibs continued to frown stunned that this was her reaction to this. Five seconds ago she'd been gasping in her sleep thrashing around as though she was attempting to fight off some unseen force, and now here she was being so nonchalant as though she'd just woken him on purpose.

Before he had a chance to say anything Lily pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Sorry babe. Get some sleep. You have to be tired as hell. You almost fell asleep during the fireworks earlier."

Chibs sighed so tempted to shift the conversation back to her nightmare. He wanted to hold her, to tell her that there was nothing to be ashamed of. He wanted to tell her about his nightmares, about how to this day he still dreamed of Jimmy O' coming to attack him and everyone he cared for.

He swallowed these statements though deciding that this conversation would have to wait for later. It was late, they were both tired.

They'd talk about it later; tomorrow. He would bring this all up tomorrow. "It's fine love. Like I said ya have nothin to be sorry fer."

He laid back opening his arms for her to curl back up against him silently promising himself that he'd make sure she got back to sleep and slept soundly before giving into her own exhaustion.

Lily snuggled back up against Chibs her head resting over his chest as her mind finally began to relax once more. She did all she could to shove the gory nightmare from her mind as she gave Chibs a crooked smile. "Why are you so sweet to me?"

Chibs gave her a small smile relieved to see that the worried look had left her features. He spoke teasing her. "I don't know if ya noticed love, but I'm a wee bit sweet on ya."

Lily chuckled her smile widening. "I love you baby."

She stretched arching her back a soft moan escaping her throat. She gave him another crooked grin quickly drifting the conversation far from her nightmare. "Sometimes I think stretching like this on a bed is better than any orgasm in the world."

Chibs returned her smile letting out a fake offended huff. "What bout the orgasms I give ya huh?"

She pressed her lips to his pressing small pecks to his lips as she spoke. "I stand corrected. Let me rephrase that statement. Stretching like this on a bed is better than any orgasm I've had until you came along."

"Damn straight." He murmured as she slid her lips along his once again.

She spoke her voice soft as she continued to press kisses to his skin sliding her lips along the scars embedded into his right cheek. "I love you my sweet man."

She pressed her lips along his jaw line her voice growing sultry. "My sweet sexy man."

Chibs groaned the feel of her soft lips against his skin quickly pushing the concern he felt over her nightmare from his mind.

She ran her lips along his neck nipping and sucking at his pulse point. Her hand ran down his stomach her hand disappearing underneath the waist band of his boxers.

He groaned as she slid her hand along waking member her voice still sultry. "Love me Filip."

He wasted no time taking back the control moving over her, her hand pulling from his cock and sneaking around to his backside.

Chibs pressed his lips to hers in a deep bruising kiss not speaking until the need for air grew to be too much. "Always gonna love ya sweet girl."


Jade leaned against the doorframe in the tiny office at TM Auto her hand reaching up to toy with the pink feathered earring in her right ear.

Gemma had left her in charge taking off soon after Juice had shown up with some girl. Jade hadn't caught much of what was going on. All she knew was that Juice had been ordered to take the girl away. This had been over an hour ago.

Jade kept her eyes locked on the parking lot waiting for Juice to make his return. They'd made plans to go see the new zombie movie that had come out a few days ago. To be honest Jade didn't really want to see the movie. It actually looked pretty gross and stupid to her, but the temptation of sitting beside Juice in a dark movie theater had been too great to ignore.

Jade hoped that Juice would notice her makeover. She was wearing one of the new outfits Lily had bought her; short pink shorts and a black spaghetti strapped tank top and a pair of brown wedges she's borrowed from Lily. She had spent an hour doing her makeup this morning but still wasn't too sure about it.

She figured Juice might not notice though. After all that was what the girls at school all said; that boys didn't notice that sort of thing.

Of course Jade knew that this movie wasn't a date. She did hope though that maybe after today Juice would notice how mature she was.

He would maybe realize that she wasn't just some teenager and maybe he'd give her a chance. Or at least she hoped that was what would happen.

Jade was looking forward to today for more than just romantic purposes though. She had been worried about her sister. Lily had been acting so odd lately. She hadn't even let Jade come back over to the apartment.

She hoped that maybe Juice knew what was going on. After all he talked to Chibs and Chibs was with Lily most of the time. And even if Juice didn't know anything it would be sort of nice just to talk to someone who she knew she could trust.

Juice had always been great about listening to her. The times that Jade had stayed at the clubhouse with Lily and Chibs, Juice had always been really nice to her. He played video games with her and had even helped her study for her SATs.

She grinned as Juice pulled into the lot parking the truck near SAMCRO's clubhouse. Jade tried her best not to look too eager as she approached him.

She continued to fiddle with her earring praying that she didn't look like an idiot as she spoke. "Hey."

Juice turned away from the truck startled by Jade's voice. He gave her a tired grin his mind still locked on his screw up bringing Cherry back to Charming with him. "Hey."

Jade pulled her hand from her ear staring down at the floor for a brief moment before staring up at Juice her stomach in knots. "So...are you ready to go?...I mean to the movies...we're still going right?"

Juice didn't have a chance to respond as a leggy brunette walked up to him the lowcut red top she was wearing showing ample cleavage.

She was wearing tight black jeans and a pair of tall red heels. Jade noticed intricate tattoos along her arms; dragons and lotus flowers.

Jade couldn't help but to feel plain compared to the croweater. It was obvious that Juice was quite taken with the girl from the way he grinned at the sight of her.

She stepped up to Juice turning her dark blue eyes over to Jade for a brief moment before turning back to Juice. "Hey Juicey. When did you get back?"

Juice gave the blonde a flirty grin as soon as he realized just who she was. Her name was Rachel. She had shown up on the scene soon after Juice had started prospecting. He had tried to get into her pants back then of course but she'd turned him down apparently having no interest in someone who hadn't been fully patched in yet.

She'd disappeared soon after that run off out to Nevada with some brother charter. Juice thought he'd lost his chance with her.

He gave Rachel a grin ignoring the guilt swirling around within him as he noticed Jade's frowning face. "Hey Rachel. I haven't been back long. What are you up to?"

"Oh not much. I just got back to California a few weeks ago, thought I'd swing by the clubhouse and see if anythings changed. Looks like you got patched in." Rachel replied flipping her long locks back.

She stepped forward closer not even acknowledging Jade as she spoke again. "So you wanna go get a drink?"

Juice sighed torn between wanting to make good on his promise to take Jade to the movies and wanting to go "have a drink" with Rachel.

He tossed the choices around in his brain. If he went with Rachel Jade would be upset, but he could always make it up to her. If he went with Jade Rachel might not approach him again. Of course he could always approach her after all she was a sweetbutt and sweetbutts really didn't say no when a Son approached her. But Juice had to admit he liked the idea of Rachel approaching him herself. After all he had been so attracted to her back when he'd first started prospecting.

He sighed again making his decision. Jade would be annoyed but she would get over it right? He turned to Jade giving her a tight smile. "You okay with giving me a rain check on the movies?"

Jade tried not to frown at this. She gave Juice a tight smile her heart dropping. "Sure."

Juice grinned his guilt lightening. "Thanks kid you're the best."

Jade felt her heart crack at this statement as she watched Juice walk off with Rachel. Kid.

She crossed her arms over her chest a small part of her hoping that Juice would turn back and decide to forget the croweater, but that didn't happen. Rachel stuck the knife in deeper as the leaned over pressing a kiss to Juice's neck as they entered the clubhouse.

Jade clinched her fists heartache sinking in. She felt so stupid. Of course Juice didn't see her as anything more than a kid. Of course he'd jump at the chance to ditch her for someone like Rachel. She had been so stupid to think that he'd ever see her as a grown woman. She'd been dumb to think that he'd ever want to be with her.

She felt her eyes begin to water as she walked back into TM's office wanting nothing more than to grab her bag and see if she could get a ride home from one of the mechanics. Maybe she could hide out at Lily's place. After all Lily had given her a spare key.

Jade was stunned as she entered the office to find that it wasn't empty.

Chibs looked up from the paperwork he'd been ready to drop on Gemma's desk before he got back to work dealing with today's mess. Clay had just been taken in by Hale and some ATF agent for questioning about some shooting that had been done with guns the club had provided. Not only did they have to deal with that mess but they had to figure out how to get the guns out of the oil barrels they'd been smuggled in and out to Leroy without the black car of ATF agents parked out front noticing.

He frowned all these worries fading from his mind as he spotted Jade the teenager's eyes watering.

He stepped forward placing a gentle hand on Jade's shoulder. "Everything alrigh lass?"

Jade felt even more humiliated as Chibs stared down at her pity in his eyes. She felt like such a loser at the moment; getting her hopes up thinking that Juice could ever see her as anything other than a kid.

She spoke her voice cracking as she struggled to express just how she felt. "Juice and I were going to go see a movie...but he decided to go get a drink with one of the croweaters...I feel stupid...I shouldn't be crying over this like a big baby."

Chibs sighed knowing that he shouldn't be so shocked by this all. To be honest he'd been expecting the bottom to drop out on Jade's crush on the Son.

He was almost tempted to tell Jade that Juice wasn't going to have the chance to have any fun with the croweater given that he was about to be put to work sorting this whole gun and ATF mess out, but Chibs held back knowing that Jade couldn't know about any of the clubs' business.

Chibs was stunned as an almost paternal sensation swirled up within him. He couldn't help but to feel the desire to go chew Juice out for doing the one thing Lily and he'd warned the Son not to do.

Jade spoke again shaking her head. "He thinks I'm just a kid. I thought maybe once I got new clothes that he'd see that I'm mature, but he didn't even notice."

Chibs let out another sigh a little lost as what to say. After all he didn't know anything about soothing teenage girls angst and heartbreak.

He took a deep breath knowing that he'd just have to do what he would do if he was talking to Kerrianne. Though honestly if someone had broken his Kerrianne's heart he'd kick their ass, but still he would comfort his daughter.

The thought was bittersweet of course, after all he'd probably never have the chance to soothe Kerrianne through teenaged heartbreak.

He pushed this sorrowful thought from his mind as he spoke. "Let me tell ya a secret lass, men are fuckin idiots mosta the time. Trus me. One day though yer goin to find a lad that's a bit less of an idiot."

Jade sighed her shoulders slumping. "When though? All my friends have boyfriends and go out on dates...and I've never even been kissed."

Chibs felt his stomach roll still feeling lost as how to handle this. He took another deep breath reminding himself to just handle this the way he would if Kerrianne was standing in front of him with a broken heart. "Everyone's different Jade. Boys yer age are the biggest idiots love. I mean when I was yer age I was a bit of a prick."

Jade chuckled at this comment her mood lightening slightly. Chibs smiled relieved that her tears had dried. He spoke hoping that he was saying all the right things. "It's alrigh to still be a kid lass, it's better than bein fuckin old like me. When the righ guy comes along all this shite about Juice will seem dumb."

He was taken completely off guard as Jade embraced him. To be honest Chibs had pretty much thought that Jade was afraid of him, after all she seemed sort of quiet when they were alone together.

Jade spoke her cheeks flushing as she glanced up at Chibs. "Thanks Chibs...thanks for making me feel less stupid."

Chibs chuckled slightly having to admit that he kind of felt good knowing that Jade didn't think he was someone she should fear. He wanted her to feel comfortable around him. After all she was Lily's sister; he knew how much Jade meant to Lily. "Aye anytime lass."

Jade finally pulled away from the hug her cheeks still flushed. She was grateful that Chibs didn't seem to think she was some weepy nutcase. It had helped talking to him, no it didn't take away the sinking feeling in her heart or the embarrassment, but it still felt nice to know that she could talk to someone about how bad she felt.

She cleared her throat unable to stop herself from asking. "Is Lily okay? She's been acting weird lately...Is she mad at me or something?"

"No course not...she's jus real tired that's all...she's been real busy lately. All she's had time to do is work and sleep." Chibs lied knowing that Jade coudlnt' know the truth.

She couldn't know just what Lily was dealing with.

He gave Jade a tight smile hoping that what he was about to say was true. "She's goin to be jus fine Jade."

He prayed that word were true. Lily's nightmare the night before had bothered him, but not as much as her unwillingness to talk about her nightmare. He worried that she was closing herself off from him; closing him off from her fear.

He just wanted her to know that she didn't have to hide her fear from him; that she could tell him just how frightened she was. He wanted to hold her and make everything okay.

It was frustrating realizing that she wasn't letting him do just that.

Chibs let out a heavy sigh knowing that he might have to push her a bit; maybe he needed to be straight with her; let her know it was okay to open up.

He would take care of this he told himself. He would find a way to make this all better for Lily.


Lily tried not to cringe as she watched the scene play out in front of her at Cara Cara. It was a stereotypical school girl classroom scene the only difference was the paddle and the heavyset male actor spanking one of the school girls with it while she went down on another schoolgirl.

Lily guessed she should have expected a scene like this though when Luann had asked her to play assistant until Lily's bruises faded.

So far being Luann's assistant just meant that she bought coffee this morning and that she was to take notes of the things Luann wanted the editor to know when he looked over the videotape.

It wasn't a hard job, and in Luann's exact words it let Lily learn a little bit about the business.

Lily turned her eyes from the scene in front her, her eyes locking on Gemma. Gemma showing up had been a surprise but as it turned out it wasn't a nice surprise.

Apparently Clay had taken advantage of the whole what happens on runs stays on runs rule, which would probably be okay if the sweetbutt he'd slept with hadn't shown up this morning at TM.

Listening to the whole mess just made Lily grateful that Chibs and she had agreed that cheating was cheating.

Still though a tiny part of her did have to worry; after all Clay had slept with the sweetbutt at a patch over party. Patch over parties made SAMCRO's usual Friday night bashes look like a tea party.

A little voice in Lily's head kept on insisting that she should be on guard. After all what if Chibs screwed up; what if he had too much to drink the next time a patch over party was to happen. What if Chibs got drunk and made a mistake?

Lily took a deep breath telling herself she was being paranoid. Chibs wouldn't cheat on her. He'd promised her that he was a one woman kind of man when it came to relationships.

Still though that nagging little voice kept on asking; what if Chibs messes up?

She did her best to ignore this voice as she listened to Gemma speak to Luann. "Can you believe the balls on that little whore showing up to the goddamn clubhouse?"

Luann frowned doing her best to soothe Gemma's anger. "Clay couldn't have known."

"So what. The rules got broken. What happens on a run stays on a run. It doesn't show up and slap me in the goddamn face...that doesn't happen to me." Gemma insisted wiping at her face clearly sweating.

Lily chewed on the inside of her cheek as she listened to this all. A part of her was angry with Clay for straying, but another part of her told her that this was just the way things were in this life. No the whole cheating on runs rule didn't apply to every couple, but most old ladies agreed to it.

Lily told herself that she didn't have the permission to be angry with Clay, but the simple fact that this had hurt Gemma told her to be angry as hell.

Lily felt her heart sink as Gemma spoke a rare flash of insecurity in her voice. "She's so young...Christ she's Lily's age...or younger."

Luann shook her head. "Yeah she's young and dumb...no offense Lil. You're an exception to the rule."

Lily gave her aunt a small smile trying to pretend that she wasn't currently imagining ripping Clay's head off.

Luann spoke again. "And before she knows it she's going to be old and wise like us."

Gemma shook her head Luann's statement not comforting her. "How am I supposed to handle this? I just want to rip his goddamn heart out."

Luann sighed looking as though she was lost in deep thought. She widened her eyes a small smile on her face as she patted Gemma's arm. "Espertal. Solution 15. It's magic. I'll get my guy to write you a prescription."

Gemma frowned shaking her head. "I'm not here for diagnosis."

Luann reached out pressing a hand to Gemma's cheek dabbing her damp cheek with a tissue. "Sure you did. You're lucky baby. My walls went dry at forty five."

Gemma frowned "I'm only fifty one. I'm not ready for this."

Lily cringed at this conversation silently praying that menopause would spare her for a good long while.

Luann pressed a hand to Gemma's cheek the other woman shoving it away a scoff escaping her throat. "Stop."

She stood up grabbing her purse and turning to Lily. "Come on baby take a break and come to the pharmacy with me. We'll get some lunch."

Lily sighed turning to Luann who gave her a small smile. "It's okay hon. Go on. You've helped me enough today."

Lily nodded her head placing the notebook she'd been taking notes for Luann in down on the fold out chair beside Luann. "Thanks auntie."

…...

The ride over to the pharmacy was mostly silent. Gemma seemed to be lost in her own world and Lily allowed her to remain that way.

Lily spent most of the ride over trying to shut up her nagging brain and keep it from thinking about sweetbutts and patch over parties and menopause.

Lily stayed in the car while Gemma went in to pick up her prescription for Solution 15. Lily stared down at her cell a small part of her tempted to call Chibs for reassurance about this whole stupid sweetbutt situation.

She knew better though. If she called him asking questions about patch over parties and pushy sweetbutts then it would sound as though she didn't trust Chibs. She did trust him. She wouldn't have given him her heart if she didn't trust him to take care of it.

It was just that she remembered what Gemma would always tell her. It's not the man you have to worry about baby. It's all those bitches out there that won't miss a chance to push up on your man. You have to educate sweetheart. Claim what's yours.

The only problem with this little lesson of Gemma's was that Lily couldn't exactly "educate" sweetbutts that weren't in Charming.

Lily leaned back against the chair closing her eyes for a moment her mind a mess of worries and problems.

She opened her eyes turning to glance at Gemma as she left the pharmacy her prescription in hand. Lily frowned as Gemma seemed to be momentarily distracted by something.

Lily followed Gemma's trail of sight connecting it with a skinny brunette in tiny turquoise shorts. Lily felt her stomach drop putting one and one together; shit it was the sweetbutt.

A boy suddenly tripped falling off his skateboard right in front of Gemma and before Lily even knew what was happening Gemma had picked up the skateboard slamming the mystery brunette right in the face with it.

Gemma spoke as the skateboard made contact with the sweetbutt's face. "Skinny ass bitch."

Lily jumped out to the car her eyes wide as the sweetbutt fell to the ground stunned by Gemma's attack.

Lily stared at the wounded girl her nose more than likely broken.

A crowd gathered around the girl soothing her and a cell phone was pulled out an old lady obviously calling 911.

Lily cringed as Gemma sat down on the curb obviously intent on waiting for the cops.

Lily spoke her eyes sliding back and forth between the wounded sweetbutt and Gemma. "Shit."

This wasn't good at all.


Reviews? Constructive Criticism?

I hope you liked this chapter. A lot happened in the episode this was written off of so I hope i covered all of it as well as things that would be happening in the fic. Thanks for reading, let me know what you think.