I woke up the next morning, sad that I didn't have someone warm to say good morning to. I sat up in my bed, rubbing my tired eyes, letting them fall carelessly on my lap. I had barely slept at all last night, worried about Blaine, worried about what would happen.
I looked to my clock to see it was eight in the morning. The sun shone through the window, painting yellow on my walls and illuminating the room. I leaned over and grabbed my phone, pressing the button to reveal the home screen. My heart sank as I saw there was no missed calls, no text messages, nothing.
I fell back against the pillows covering my face with my hands once more, tears stinging my eyes, threatening to pour out. Instead of fighting them, I let them come freely down my cheeks. I rolled onto my side, curling my legs up as close to my chest as possible, and let silent sobs take over my body.
I really didn't know why I was crying. Because of the nightmare I had last night? The fact that Blaine wasn't there to make me feel better. Because of the conversation I had with Karofsky the day before. The fact that Blaine hadn't said a word to him in almost twelve hours and before that I hadn't heard from him in ten hours, thinking the worse. I didn't really care. I just continued to cry.
There was a soft knock on my door and it slowly opened. I lazily opened my eyes, seeing that my dad stood in the doorway, his expression worried. I only turned my back to him and mumbled a soft "go away" into my pillow. He either didn't hear me or didn't care, because the bed dipped a little as he sat down, his hand going to my shoulder, forcing me to turn over onto my back. I gave in, letting my gaze fall on to my dad's.
I sat up and rubbed at my now wet cheeks and eyes, before letting them fall in front of me, my head dipping down.
"Dad, I really don't want to talk right now," I said, my voice thick and stuffed up.
He rubbed my back soothingly and kissed my temple. "It's ok Kurt. Just give him some time, he'll come around." He stood, crossing his arms over his chest. "Now, how about we get you some breakfast. I made your favorite… waffles! What do you say?"
"Not hungry," I mumbled even though it was a complete lie.
He sighed, coming a little closer to me. "Kurt…"
I looked up to him. He knew. He knew I had lied… he always knows.
I gave in, knowing that I was too weak to even think about arguing. I climbed out of bed and followed him out the door. As I passed Blaine's door, I paused in front of it, wanting so badly to walk in and tell him to come downstairs with me. But I knew he must have still been mad at me, so I dropped it, continuing on towards the kitchen.
As I sat, I looked around the table, taking in the awkward glances everyone gave me. I slammed my fork down on the table, making everyone jump at once.
"Oh my god, what are you all doing? It's not like I'm dead or something. I'm still Kurt, nothing more. So please just stop with the looks!" My voice broke a few times, but I couldn't tell if it was from straining my voice, or because of the tears that threatened to push through.
We all looked down at our plates at once, eating in silence.
"Kurt… we know you went to see him yesterday." I only stared at him in disbelief.
"But… how?" I asked softly.
"Blaine texted me… he told me not to worry, that he had it covered. He just wanted to give us a heads up." He placed his elbows on the table, running his hands over his face. "He also told me that he couldn't handle his emotions… he didn't want you to know…"
"You knew where he was! And you let me panic like that!" I said, standing up, my chair almost falling backwards.
"Do you really think I would have let him go that long without at least sending us a text? I'm sorry Kurt, but I keep my promises. He told me not to tell you until this morning, or until he had gotten home."
I shook my head in disbelief, letting out a small laugh. "You know what? Screw this. My weekend can't possibly get worse." I turned on my heel, running up the stairs and slamming my door behind me and collapsing on my bed, face down to muffle the sobs.
"What is wrong with me?" I screamed into the blankets, knowing that no one would be able to hear me.
"Nothing at all," a voice behind me said.
I jumped up immediately, the voice scaring me shitless. I turned to see him leaning against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. He curls were still loose, but they were controlled. His eyes looked tired, dark circles underneath them.
At the same time, we rushed over to each other, meeting in the middle, taking each other in the other's arms. I buried my face in his shoulders, rubbing his back as his body shook.
"Shhh, it's alright. I'm here." I whispered quietly into his ear, making sure that he was the only one to hear.
"I'm s-so sorry Kurt. I'm so sorry." His body shook harder with every apology that escaped his lips.
I pulled away, our faces inches apart. I just needed to look into those eyes again.
Those beautiful hazel eyes that always made me melt, were now filled with tears, bloodshot and swollen. His cheeks were red, tear tracks going down them in a jagged way. Tears still came pouring out of his eyes as he covered his face and walked into my shoulder once more. I wrapped my arms securely around his shoulders, hoping to bring comfort to the broken boy.
We were now sitting on my bed, legs crossed and facing each other, an hour later. His eyes still red and puffy, but calmed down enough to actually hold a conversation.
I grabbed his hands, twisting and turning our fingers absentmindedly as I searched his eyes. They looked lost, broken, in need of repair.
"Blaine? What happened?" I asked slowly and quietly, hoping that it wouldn't result in what I had just solved. He took a shaky breath and began.
"I can't forgive him Kurt. My emotions… they're just all over the place. I want to be here for you so bad Kurt. I want to do everything in my power to make you feel safe. But, the fact that he said he was sorry and you actually forgave him… God I wanted to jump through that glass and choke him. I couldn't face the fact that… that he would actually do something like that to you and still have the balls to actually ask to carry on a conversation with you."
I only stared at him, understanding him completely.
"I didn't want to forgive him at first. I'm still wondering if I should or not. But Blaine… I know you are trying your hardest to help me… but understand that your own feelings have to come before mine. I've seen the way you've been carrying yourself. You have so much on your shoulders right now. You need to relax and let it go. He just sent you over the edge and you needed to get out."
He stared at me, with a confused look. "Exactly… that's exactly it." he smiled. God I loved that smile. "You know me too well Hummel."
I smiled a little, scooting more towards him, putting an arm around his shoulders drawing him in close.
"I went for a sprint… to the gym of course, where I spent five or six hours almost breaking my knuckles…seriously the people in their thought I was a lunatic." He laughed softly, as he relaxed in my arms. "And then I went for another sprint, never stopping until I got home."
"You must be so sore."
"Mhmm… my limbs feel like jelly."
I laughed at the way he said jelly, how childish and playful it sounded. He sat up a bit and looked at me, staring into the depths of my soul. He brought his hand up and brushed the hair on the side of my head, massaging my temple softly with his thumb.
"What about you? How are you doing?"
"Oh no no no… this moment is about you."
He rolled his eyes as I stepped off the bed and held out my hand for him to take. He did and I helped him to his feet. He winced slightly at the new found pressure and the fact that he would have to actually walk and pick up his feet.
"Would you like me to carry?" I asked, almost in a teasing way.
"I'm not a child, Kurt." He said, his tone light like it always was.
"C'mon, everyone's out… they probably want to avoid me after my small outburst at breakfast. I heard the door shut earlier."
I pulled him along until we were finally in the bathroom. I shut the door and locked, going over to the water to run it, letting it warm before I put the plug in.
"Blaine, sit," I said, motioning to the closed lid on the toilet. He obeyed, a small smirk on his lips.
I stood in front of him, playing with his curls, making him relax even more. As he slumped lower and lower I reached down to the hem of his shirt and lifted it. His arms automatically went up as if he were a machine, the shirt sliding over the top with little effort. As I moved to take my own off, he stood and took my hands away, leaning in close to my ear.
"I can't let you have all the fun. That just isn't fair."
I let him take my shirt off, not caring that it was just carelessly dumped on the floor. Our lips met as our hands roamed over each other's bare chests, sides and back.
"Blaine, we need to do this before everyone gets home." I breathed.
"Then why are we doing it in the bathroom? The more traditional way is in the bedroom."
I smacked his arm playfully. "You know what I mean." He smirked as I walked over to turn the water off, seeing the tub almost full. As I bent down, I looked behind me to see him staring at my amazing ass, drooling at the sight.
"Like what you see Anderson?"
"Mmmm… more than like," he said as I stood. I turned around just in time for him to be inches away, his hand wanting.
"Blaine Anderson! How undapper of you to want to touch my ass!"
He only wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling us close together.
"That's not the only thing I want to touch," he breathed into my ear. Goosebumps rose over my skin and I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. His hands found my way into my back pockets and I moaned as our lips met again, his tongue pushing through. His lips found my neck, and I leaned my head back, letting him have more access to it.
"Blaine… I don't even know where they all went; let alone how long they'll be."
"Idon'tcare," he mumbled against my skin, words slurring into one.
I pushed him back and smiled. "Trust me sweetie, my parents are going to be gone this weekend for their anniversary."
"I have to wait that long?" he asked pouting.
I thought about it for a moment. I really hoped that he didn't have to wait much longer. I wanted to give him everything, but every time we even came close, a flashback would occur and ruin everything. I just hoped that this weekend would be different.
"Kurt?" I looked to him again, realizing I was staring at the wall. "Kurt, I'm not pressuring you or anything right? You know that you can take it at your own speed and stuff… I won't be mad or anything."
I nodded, relaxing slightly. "You know me too well Anderson." He smiled as he kissed my cheek, moving to take of his pants. I followed his example and soon we were standing in front of each other, completely naked. We had done this so many times, I didn't even feel a blush come to my cheeks.
He took me in his arms once more, pressing his lips to my ear. The touch sent a shiver down my spine. "You are so beautiful, Kurt. Have I ever told you that?"
I shivered at the way he told me that. Even though he had pretty much told me that every single day, memories popped in left and right. The feel of the strong hands on my collar, his harsh breath against my neck, his muscled body pressed hard against mine, me in the middle of him and the lockers.
I tightened my grip on the boy standing in front of me, trying to rid the memory. Trying to hold onto reality rather than the past. It worked.
I reluctantly pulled away from his embrace and made my way over to the tub, stepping in carefully. He followed my example as I settled in. he sat in between my legs, his back leaned against my chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around his stomach, kissing his shoulder, letting my lips linger for a few moments longer.
An hour later, we finally climbed out, washing off the soap from our bodies. I handed him a towel, as I grabbed on for myself, drying off every inch of my body, him doing the same. I wrapped securely around my waist and snuck out of the bathroom, not even caring if Blaine was covered or not. I heard him step out of the bathroom, and walk to his own room as I stepped into mine.
"So, you going to tell me how you're doing?" he asked.
It was nine. We lay in my bed, my head lying on his chest, his arm wrapped around my shoulder securely.
"I'll tell you later," I said with a yawn. I was so exhausted after not sleeping well the night before. And I'm sure he felt the same way.
"Promise?"
"I promise Blaine, now go to sleep," I said as I stroked his side softly.
He kissed the top of my head before leaning his head back against the pillows.
We lay there for a few moments; the only sound I could hear was his heart beat rhythmically.
"I really missed you last night Kurt. I could barely sleep without you."
I smiled and hummed in agreement. "It was pure torture."
He hesitated before asking, "Did you have a nightmare, Kurt?"
It was now my turn to hesitate. I decided to be truthful for once and nodded my head, a tear landing on his chest. He stroked my hair.
"Hey, none of that," he said, referring to my tears. He sighed. "I'm so sorry Kurt. I should have been here."
I shook my head, tightening my hold around his stomach. "I understand Blaine. Don't worry about it. You're here now and that's all that matters."
I closed my eyes; hoping sleep would find me when he didn't respond. I was so tired, my eyes had started to ache from keeping them open for so long.
His chest vibrated as he hummed a familiar tune… our song. I smiled as I kissed his chest, nuzzling my head into his chest even more.
"I love you Blaine." I sighed, with a yawn.
"I love you too Kurt."
Darkness found me sooner than later, but tonight, I wasn't scared of it. With Blaine there I knew everything would be alright… I had nothing to worry about.
This make up for everything? i sure hope so! Please excuse any and all grammer, spelling, etc. mistakes. I am way too tired to even think about reading through it two more times to fix everything, so please bear with me here. :) see you all tomorrow!
(Please oh please give me prompts... lots and lots of them!) (Pretty please? with a cherry on top?)
