Wow, thanks for all the input. I hope everyone is satisfied by what I decided to write concerning "J'onnta Clause"/Santa J'onn. I probably won't be able to update my other stories again until the 20th, but we'll see. I have a huge research essay (and some other misc annoying things) that are due next week.

This Ain't the Golden Years

Chapter 29

The Justice League Daily Service Announcement
Date:
December 24, 2058

Fellow Leaguers,

Because it is Christmas Eve, those of you wishing to be at home with your families may do so. We have a list of Leaguers who have volunteered for active duty and stand by during the holiday. However, please be ready to assist if any major crisis should occur.

Happy Holidays

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December 24, 2058

Linda has banned me from any major pranks the next two days. However, this doesn't limit me from small ones.

Our kids and grandkids are over. Jai and his lovely (and sometimes dangerous) wife said that they would help Linda cook. Iris, her husband, and I have been banished from the kitchen, which is very unfair. Iris complained and Linda responded with her usual "Like Father like Daughter" speech. We're supposed to keep on eye on the grandkids.

I think Iris and I (and possibly her husband) will use our banishment to plot our revenge.

Like Father like Daughter she says. Jai's not as innocent as she claims. The twins were holy terrors when they were kids. I still remember when they challenged J'onn to an Oreo eating contest. It was a close call, but they won. I think J'onn let them win.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Terry, Kai-ro, and Rex are currently conducting an "investigation" into the J'onnta Clause theory. I know Terry can't spend a lot of time on it since it's Christmas Eve. I guess he invited Bruce over to their apartment for Christmas Dinner. Can you believe that Mary McGinnis STILL doesn't know that her beloved Terry is Batman? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, after all, how long did it take Lois?

Personally, I never understood how a stupid pair of glasses could fool anyone. Especially, you know, with how many times Lois was around "Clark" and "Superman". I heard that Amanda Waller made fun of her for that, but I don't know if it's true.

Uh oh. Linda just banished another West from the kitchen. Wait, make that two. She kicked our grandson David and our granddaughter Amy out. They're now sulking by the Christmas tree with the cat. And…what the…what is Iris doing? She just hijacked Linda's perfume.

I see. She's switching the perfume. My brilliant daughter also put some of my cologne (plus some Tabasco sauce) in one of her bottles. Wait a minute…Tabasco sauce?

(Wally takes a brief break from writing in order to halt his daughter's act of revenge. He doesn't quite have the nerve to piss off Linda today.)

I guess the Tabasco sauce wasn't for Linda. Apparently she's going to put it in a convenient place on the Watchtower and see if anyone tries to put some on. (By the way, Wally's daughter Iris is the current Flash.)

Just for the record, I had nothing to do with this one. I will plead the fifth to whoever decides to put on the Tabasco enhanced perfume.

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Date: December 24, 2058
Location: The Watchtower
From: Kai-ro (The new Green Lantern)
To: Terry McGinnis, Rex Stewart

Mission Report

I think J'onn's up to something, but I'm not quite sure what. I've been making excuses to be in the control room, but I can't find what he is doing. He's monitoring something with the tracking system, but I can't find what.

He probably knows what I'm up to. The Martian always has this mysterious smile whenever I manage to wander in. He also always manages to block his station.

I know you two are tied down for now because of Christmas Eve. Whenever you get a chance tonight, get your butts up here. Until then, I'll try my best.

Green Lantern, signing out.

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Date: December 24, 2058
Location: The McGinnis home
From: Terry McGinnis
To: Rex Stewart, Kai-ro

Mission Report

Has J'onn been in the Watchtower the whole time? I mean, if he's Santa, he'd be on the job already. It's already been Christmas Eve on the other side of the planet.

That and…not again! My mom's telling Bruce more stories about when I was a kid! The Old Man keeps giving me this hidden smirk every time he glances my way. Dammit!

That's not the worst. My stupid brother almost let it slip to Mom about the Batman thing. He shut up just in time when both Bruce and I glared at him.

Oh yeah, I talked Matt into staying up with a camcorder when I'm gone tonight. If "Santa" comes, Matt will be ready. At least, the twip had BETTER be ready.

Batman, signing out.

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Date: December 24, 2058
Location: The Stewart home
From: Rex Stewart
To: Terry McGinnis, Kai-ro

Mission Report

Hey McGinnis, just out of curiosity, did Bruce bring presents or money? Mom and Dad said that all he ever gives is money or gift certificates.

I put a sleeping drug into a bunch of Oreos for "Santa". However, I'm afraid to leave them out in case Mom or Dad eats them. Mom was also asking me again when they might have grandkids.

It's not my fault I can't get a girlfriend!

War Hawk, signing out.

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Date: December 24, 2058
Location: The McGinnis home
From: Terry McGinnis
To: Rex Stewart, Kai-ro

Mission Report

Bruce actually brought presents! Sort of. His official presents for me were some money and two books. Unofficially, he gave some new training equipment that I've been wanting. He gave Mom a bottle of expensive perfume and Matt got some books too.

Come on Stewart, what do you mean you can't get a girlfriend? Last time I checked there was actually a fangirl website devoted to you.

Batman, signing out.

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Date: December 24, 2058
Location: The Watchtower
From: Kai-ro (The new Green Lantern)
To: Terry McGinnis, Rex Stewart

Mission Report

Would you two focus? This is supposed to be for mission reports only! If you want to gossip, use a cell phone!

That and…J'onn's gone! He just vanished!

Green Lantern, signing out.

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Date: December 24, 2058
Location: The McGinnis home
From: Terry McGinnis
To: Rex Stewart, Kai-ro

Mission Report

Follow him! Oh, and we're not gossiping! This is vital information!

Batman, signing out.

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The Justice League Emergency Com
Date: December 24, 2058
Time: 15:56

War Hawk: You're definition of "vital information" needs work McGinnis.

Batman: You asked.

War Hawk: Forget that, where's J'onn?

Green Lantern: I don't know, he's not on the station.

Batman: He gave us the slip?

Green Lantern: I could use some help you know.

Batman: Can't. I won't be able to do anything until my mom's asleep.

War Hawk: Dad insists on a nice, quiet, family dinner tonight. I'll probably have to wait too.

Green Lantern: You two su…

Batman: Just find J'onn!

Green Lantern: How the hell am I supposed to find him?

War Hawk: Have you checked Z'onn Z'orr?

Green Lantern: No, I'll check it…

Mr. Terrific: Hey! Get off the E-Com! You three aren't even conducting League business!

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Excerpt from Terry McGinnis's cell phone Conversation with Rex Stewart:
Date:
December 24, 2058

Terry: Stupid Terrific, I can't believe he kicked us off.

Rex: Well, technically, we were using the Emergency Com when it wasn't an emergency.

Terry: You think J'onn could be Santa? Wouldn't he have disappeared several hours ago if he was?

Rex: Probably. Something's going on though.

Terry: I wonder if Kai-ro's found anything yet?

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Location: Z'onn Z'orr
Date: December 24, 2058
Mission: Where is J'onn?

Kai-ro: (Peeks around a corner. Hears a strange voice.)

J'onn: Kai-ro, we know you're here.

Kai-ro: Who's we?

Unidentified voice: Ho Ho Ho!

To be continued: