Lily sighed exasperatedly as she glared at her best friend. Alice had been begging and pleading for a week or more to convince Lily to go with her and Frank to Slughorn's party tonight. But Lily had resolutely refused. Alice assumed that it was because Lily could not go with the person she wanted too, and was therefore adamant that Lily go and have fun regardless. But Alice did not know the real reason because Lily had told no one. Lily was vehemently opposed to going tonight because it would force her to be around Severus, for the first time since his attack on her the night she got poisoned. Obviously she had been around him since then, they shared classes so avoiding him completely was impossible, but tonight would be different, it was a social event, and therefore she could not guarantee that she would be able to avoid him. She had thought the debate over the party with Alice was over, but she should have known better. Twenty minutes ago Alice had returned back to their dormitory and relayed to Lily an exchange she had witnessed between Frank and James.

"James asked Frank who your date was for tonight," Alice said as she plopped down on Lily's bed where Lily was currently perusing a magazine. Lily glanced up at Alice only briefly before returning to her magazine.

"Did Frank tell him I wasn't going?" Lily said with a slight smile as she recalled her exchange regarding the party earlier in the afternoon.

"Are you kidding? I've taught my boyfriend better than that. He just said you didn't have a date."

"Fabulous," Lily said with a roll of her eyes.

"Frank said that James didn't believe him," Alice had smugly.

"What? Why? What did he say?" She waited while Alice adjusted her voice to a lower octave in order to impersonate James.

"Longbottom, we both know that's crap. All Evans has to do is snap her finger and there'd be a line 10 feet long of blokes wanting to be her date."

"Obviously not," Lily said with a snort.

"Don't give me that crap! He's right you could take any boy you wanted."

"Your forgetting one obvious exception," Lily pointed out.

"No, I'm not." Alice cringed only slightly at the ferocious glare of her best friend. "Okay so maybe it would take two snaps of your fingers. One to make him dump our dear darling roommate, and another to have him be at your side for the rest of your life like some little lap dog," Alice said with a smile.

"Okay, number one he obviously does not want to dump Daphne. Number two, really Alice? I highly doubt that James Potter, or any of the Marauders for that matter, would ever be a lap dog to any girl. And number three you severely over estimate the strength of whatever these feelings are that I have for Potter if you really think that having him glued to my hip is a desired occurrence!" Alice had managed to keep a straight face throughout Lily's speech but could no longer contain her giggles, Lily glared for a moment at her best friend before also subsiding into giggles.

"Well, regardless, you have to go to the party now," Alice said with a barely concealed grin.

"What? No! I don't have anything to wear!"

"Yes, you do."

"Um…no I don't."

"I have an extra dress," Alice said with a smile.

"You're three inches taller than me and at least a size, if not two sizes smaller than me. Besides you have no breasts, anything that fits you in the, the booble region is not going to fit me."

"Well, it's a bit of a miracle. This one," she said pulling a dress from her closet, "just happens to be your size."

And so now Lily was sitting glaring at her friend in a mix of awe and frustration.

"And why exactly do you have a dress that's my size?" Lily said after a few moments of contemplation.

"That's the funny thing about miracles, Lil, there are no explanations."

"Yeah, the miracles of the dress fairy can never be explained."

"What can I say? She's like Father Christmas."

**

Lily sunk her head momentarily beneath her hot bath water to wash away any evidence of tears. It had been a long day, an emotional fucking rollercoaster. And she had reached her breaking point. The day had started out seemingly harmless with her early morning bantering with James Potter, but with the breaking news regarding You-Know-Who's sighting in Dovetown bringing the specter of war and danger ever nearer the day had taken on a decidedly darker tone.

As much as she hated to admit it, she was slightly relieved when Alice had forced her, dragged her kicking and screaming, to Slughorn's party because it allowed her to think of something other than Death Eaters, evil megalomaniacal wizards, and strange daily occurrences. But even that had been short lived. After all, a party full of Slytherins is not the best place to go to forget about the Dark Arts currently engulfing their world. She had been shocked to see that Lucius Malfoy was one of Slughorn's special guests that he had invited for the evening. What was so special about Malfoy Lily was at a loss to see. She saw nothing spectacular in being a filthy rich, yet jobless, racist who did nothing but prance around his pretentious mansion and go on missions for You-Know-Who. It had made her feel physically ill to see Severus back at his mentor's side strolling around the party, both of them with matching pompous sneers. It made her even sicker to see how all the other pathetic Slytherin Death Eater wannabes clung to their every word with such devotion, drinking the bleeding pumpkin juice full of propagandist lies. And so after only about an hour of happy, Valentine's festivities Lily had made her excuses to Alice and Professor Slughorn and exited the party.

It was as she was rounding the corner heading away from his office toward the Gryffindor Common Room that she became aware of the sound of hurried footsteps chasing after her. She paused on the other side of the wall, drawing her wand from her bag, and holding it at the ready. Snape had been in such a hurry to catch up to her that he almost walked right in to the tip of her wand. They each looked at each other for a moment, one with hopeful eyes, the other with malice.

"You shouldn't just hold your wand out like that. You could have accidentally cursed someone coming around the corner like I did just now," Severus said with a slight smile.

"What makes you think it would have been an accident?" Lily said seriously. "You shouldn't stalk after people like some big overgrown bat; other people will jinx first and ask questions later. I'm beginning to see the advantages to that course of action."

"There's no need for idle threats, Lily. We both know you'd never hurt me. Besides you'd hardly risk your perfect record and get caught hexing another student."

"Firstly, there is nothing idle about my threat, Snivellous," Lily said raising her wand a fraction of an inch higher. She showed no emotion upon seeing Snape flinch at her use of the nickname. "Secondly, my record isn't perfect I got a detention earlier this year for removing Potter's hand from my thigh in the middle of Transfiguration," she again ignored his wince, "and thirdly if you think for one fucking minute that I'm not willing to risk my badge to send your would-be-rapist ass to St. Mungo's you are sadly mistaken."

"I wasn't going to rape you. But can't you see what a little whore you've become. I love you! I would do anything for you! You belong with me! And yet you push me away and fight off my kisses yet according to the rumors you gladly spread your legs for Potter!" He had barely finished that statement when he was blasted off his feet and pushed against the wall, landing with a resounding thud.

"I never 'spread my legs for Potter' you self-righteous bastard!" Lily whispered as she moved to stand above Snape, still pointing her wand at him. She amended this statement in her head. She had after all attempted to spread her legs, in fact she had wrapped her legs around Potter, before but she had been drunk and nothing had come of it so that was besides the point, and it was really none of Snape's business to begin with.

"What the…Lily?" Lily spun around to see James and Daphne standing behind her. Both had their wands drawn and were now also pointing them at Snape. It was Daphne who had spoken and she now lowered her wand slightly and moved toward Lily hesitantly. "Are you okay? What happened we heard shouting and then a loud bang."

"He followed me as I was leaving Slughorn's party. He called me a whore." She said this in a daze, Snape was no longer the most pressing concern in her mind. James and Daphne's thoroughly disheveled appearance had not escaped her notice. Daphne's blouse buttons were not done correctly, James' hair was even more of a mess than usual, and he too bore the distinct appearance of someone who had thrown their clothes on hurriedly.

"He called you a WHAT?" James said angrily as he began to make his way toward the groggy Snape. His wand, unlike Daphne's or Lily's for that matter, was still held aloft, and was now pointing directly at Snape's manhood. Lily wondered briefly whether she ought to let him hex it off or whatever it was he was planning on doing, but decided against it.

"Potter, not that I don't appreciate your chivalry, but before you go blasting off some other guy's member, you might want to check and make sure your own is wrapped up nice and snug," she said waspishly with an exaggerated glance down at his half-opened fly. "Have a nice rest of the evening." She said as she marched off.

She was proud of herself for having made it to the Prefect's bath before breaking down into tears. She knew it was stupid. It had been over a month and a half since she and James had kissed, she knew he was still dating Daphne, but for some reason seeing with her own eyes the evidence that they were still very much together, and were not just keeping up appearances hurt her more than she ever would have expected. Maybe that was why she had reacted so badly to Snape's taunts. She was still as virginal as the day she was born, she had not spread her legs for Potter or anyone else, but sometimes like tonight when she saw proof of James' intimacy with Daphne, had witnessed him pressing her up against library walls and bookshelves, she had wished that what Snape had said was true. Not in such a crude sense, she had not weakened her resolve or her standards that much. She would not be a meaningless shag to James Potter or any other man, but there was a part of her that ached with desire at the thought of being kissed, held, caressed, filled, and brought to completion by James Potter. And it hurt her to know that it would never be a reality, and would only ever be a fantasy.

**

February faded in to March without much change. It was still too cold for the students to venture outside between classes, and as a result the grayness of the winter sky had begun to be mirrored on the faces of the residents of Hogwarts castle.

Even the looming match between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw failed to ignite much enthusiasm from the members of each house, and it excited the two teams even less; for as cold as it was on the ground, it was sure to feel at least 10° colder in the air. James had even cut back practices to just an hour a day instead of the usual two, because it was just too damn cold.

And yet the days continued to drag on, as surely as the snow continued to fall, until at last it was the Friday before the big game. Finally, at this late hour, the excitement and fervor that usually began weeks in advance had descended upon Hogwarts. The two teams were greeted from cheers and jeers as they made their way to their classes. The Slytherins had taken to wearing Ravenclaw buttons to show their support for the team playing archrival Gryffindor. It was crucial that Ravenclaw win, and win by more than 200 points, otherwise Gryffindor would be unbeatable in the race for the House Cup.

**

Lily stood in the empty classroom waiting, although she didn't know for what exactly. She heard the door behind her open and close and she turned to see who the intruder was. She gasped for breath. It was James Potter looking at her with a look of pure desire. The dark passion and lust in his eyes sent a shiver up her spine. She felt fear, she knew she had to get out of this room because she could feel her self control slipping away more every second his eyes rested on her.

"I…I was just leaving," Lily lied as she made her way to the door. But he took a step toward her, blocking her escape route.

"Don't," he said quietly. And he raised his hand to her face and brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. She felt her knees go weak, knew she was falling, fainting, swooning whatever stereotypical thing girls do in these situations and she could have screamed she was so angry at herself. The very idea of her swooning over James Potter was preposterous.

But then suddenly it no longer seemed so bad, because he had caught her, and was lowering her slowly to the ground. And she didn't care anymore. The fire in her veins was burning her alive but all she wanted was more. He lowered his lips to hers and she felt like her heart must surely burst from the joy.

It began as a slow gentle kiss, but it did not remain so for long. Both had been fighting with themselves for so long that they could no longer resist the passion that had been building within them like a volcano preparing to erupt.

Their tongues battled one another for control as Lily felt James' erection press against her thigh. She could not hold back the moan that escaped her lips. She adjusts herself so that he settles between her legs, only the fabric of his pants and her thin panties separate them from one another, as her skirt as long since been bunched around her waist. As James feels himself sinking between her legs it is his turn to moan his appreciation. She doesn't remember him removing her blouse but suddenly his mouth is enclosed over one of her taut nipples and stars are exploding behind her eyes. Surely, she must be in heaven because nothing this good can actually exists on the earth.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Lily rolled over in bed with a groan as the alarm clock began to sound. She heard Mary cursing the blasted contraption as she reached outside the warm confines of her own four-poster bed to shut the awful thing off. Lily heard Alice turning about in her own bed beside Lily's, forestalling the moment when she would have to pull back her own curtains and face the awful cold of another day. Lily could feel herself shaking as her dream came flooding back to her. It had seemed so real. She had attempted to avoid Potter like the plague ever since Valentine's Day and had been relatively successful all things considering. She had managed to ignore his penetrating gazes that he often gave her during their shared class periods or in the common room after class. She had managed to walk in right as class was beginning each day in Transfiguration, the only class where she sat right next to him, in order to avoid small talk, and she left every day as soon as class ended before he could say anything to her then either. But apparently all her effort had been for nothing, for as her dream clearly illustrated she was failing miserably at getting over James Potter. And damn it Lily Evans was a Prefect and she was NOT used to failing at anything! She reached her arm out into the cold air, grabbed the small bowl upon her bedside table and filled it with water. She summoned a washcloth from her trunk, abusing her magic in order to avoid the cold for moments longer, and dabbed her face with the damp washcloth, willing herself back to composure. With great trepidation she pulled back her curtains and stepped out of her nice warm bed. Alice was sitting at the end of her own bed using her wand to style her hair, apparently having opted to wear it curly for the day. Mary had her one leg propped up against her own bed as she pulled on her black tights. Many of the girls had taken to wearing the tights instead of the typical knee socks in an attempt to stay warm. Lily wondered fleetingly how Mary had not frozen seeing as she was only wearing her tights and her newly arrived bra from Wonder Witch that she had ordered a few weeks previously. Only last night had it finally arrived and Mary had excitedly shown it off to her roommates. Lily slipped off her own pajamas and routed around in her trunk for a pair of tights for herself. Alice had begun applying her makeup and Mary had just finished pulling on her skirt when Mary sighed and grabbed her wand. She aimed it at Daphne's bed and muttered her incantation. The curtains pulled back as did the covers under which Daphne was burrowed. The rush of cold air to which she was now exposed brought her out of her own sound sleep.

"In the bleeding name of Morgan Le Fay why in the hell did you have to do that?!" Daphne groaned as she attempted to pull the covers back over her, only to find that Mary had charmed them to stay where they were.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty," Mary said with a falsely cheery tone. "McGonagall will have our heads if we're late. And you know she's not above taking her points from her own house!"

**

"Good luck tomorrow Potter, Black!" a fellow Gryffindor shouted as the two friends made their way to the Great Hall for dinner. Each boy nodded their appreciation, a treasured acknowledgment for the stunned younger student.

"Damn it!" James exclaimed as he and Sirius reached the Great Hall a few moments later.

"What's up mate?"

"I must've left my Charms book up in the classroom."

"Don't worry about it you can always go back and get it later," Sirius said with a shrug.

"I wanted to get the essay done tonight so I wouldn't have to take a break from celebrating after the match," James said with a slightly arrogant smile. The same grin spread across Sirius' face.

"Good thinking my man," he said, patting James affectionately on the back. "Do you want me to run back up with you?"

"No you go on ahead it'll only take me a minute. Save me a piece of cherry pie if for some reason I'm not back in time." Sirius nodded his consent and made his way into the Great Hall and toward the Gryffindor table where many of the students flooded him with well wishes. He nodded and waved at all of them before taking his seat between Peter and Remus.

**

"Thanks Lily! We all really appreciate this!" Davy Gudgeon, a Fifth Year Hufflepuff student, said to Lily as he exited the Charms classroom.

Lily sighed. She was exhausted. She had obviously not slept well the night before, and now she could not help but reflect on her dream. In fact she felt like she had done nothing but reflect on her dream the entire day. She wanted nothing more than to feign sickness and have Alice bring her some food up to the dormitory and hide from the world for the rest of the weekend. Despite the excitement of the rest of the Hogwarts population for tomorrow's game Lily could only shiver at the prospect of having to sit in one of the high boxes, exposed to the bitterly cold wind, for hours. She glanced at the clock on the wall. She would be late to dinner. She normally did not hold study sessions on Fridays but Professor Flitwick had informed her that several of the Fifth Years were becoming increasingly panicked about their looming O. and had come to him this morning in tears pleading with him to plead on their behalf to Lily in favor of an extra session. Gudgeon was the last to leave, and she realized with a smile that she should not have been surprised. He was the boy, after all, who had famously almost lost an eye his first year in an idiotic attempt to climb the Whomping Willow.

"Probably damaged the poor bloke's brain as well," Lily said to herself.

"Not talking about me are you, Evans?" James Potter was standing in the door way of the Charms classroom. As he stepped inside Lily saw the door close behind him. It felt like the temperature in the room had risen by at least 20 degrees. Her dream came screaming back to her and she had to shake her head slightly to concentrate on what Potter was saying.

"No," she squeaked, bypassing the many obvious jokes about Potter's lack of a brain. She took a deep breath calming herself and was pleased her voice sounded normal as she spoke again. "Davy Gudgeon."

"I wouldn't worry yourself about him. I doubt he had much of a brain to begin with. I mean why else would anyone try and climb that blasted tree. I mean it's not exactly your typical backyard tree with a swing attached."

"It almost sounds like something a Marauder would do," Lily said with an arch of her eyebrow.

"There's the Evans I know!" James said with a laugh. "So what are you doing up here, anyways?" James said as he walked over to Lily's side. Lily was again hit with the feeling of déjà vu from her dream.

"Charms study session," she said quickly. She had to get out of this classroom before she lost the last tiny ounces of self control she had left.

"Such a steward," he said with a wink. "Would you mind helping me find my book? Then we can head down to the Great Hall together," James suggested.

"I…I would but I have to…. I have to…I'm not really…I just yeah um good luck tomorrow, Potter." And she fled from the classroom as if her life depended on it.

James watched her go, with a puzzled look on his face. Had he said something that upset her? He replayed the conversation in his head but could find no satisfactory answer. She had seemed almost scared of him, a thought which was unbearable to him. After a moment more of recollection James made his way back to the common room. He no longer felt like eating anything, not even a cherry pie.