A/N: Hello, mina-san! Another day- … or so, lol- another chapter. I think this is the worse I've been update-wise, but RL has been hectic… :-P I have to warn you guys that this is a bit of a sappy chappie, because it's Lee with Sakura and the guy has always adored her… so it's written with that in mind. I really didn't want to write a Lee that's too comical however much I laugh with his stunts. I hope you enjoy it… Thank you all who are reading, extra smooches to you guys who take the time to review. You rock my world. ;-)
Thankies to my anon reader. Kakashi's Dog – Thank you thank you. This is Lee… I hope you approve, you youthful chick, you. ;-D
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, I'd wreck havoc with traditional pairings… other than ShikaTema, which I'm ALL for. .
Tides and Ebbs of Honesty
Ebb 15: Simple as Possible
It was a good day- the kind that made one want to take a deep breath and fill their lungs with new life. It was rather cloudy, the grey clouds shielding the village from the sun's glare, promising not rain, but a pleasant humid coolness that made the skin tingle. There were days like that even in the heart of summer. The trees were rising green and tall all around the village, the occasional sun-ray teasing a random point in the corner of his vision- everything simple and taken for granted, everything miraculous, same as the first time they happened at the dawn of creation. It was a good day to live.
Such simple pleasures in life went by unnoticed by most villagers- too busy with their works and families- and ninjas alike- too often that simplicity was tainted by the red of blood or salty clear of sweat or tears. In that respect he had a lot in common with Shikamaru- not that he would presume to have much else in common with a genius like the young chuunin. Yet, Konoha's Ace would always make the time in his day to look up at the clouds, lazily observe any tiny detail breaking out of nature's tapestry.
However much he would accomplish in his life- and he was rather pleased with himself thus far- he knew that deep down he would always be a simple man, contented with simple pleasures in life. Gai-sensei- the man he looked up to more than anyone and anything, the man to whom he owed his life to, as he knew it- had told him that that was a wonderful trait and that he was special. The older man would always tell him the truth, but he wondered if perhaps he was sometimes too soft on him. Being simple was a fact, not a remarkable quality per se. Unlike Neji, he wasn't born a genius with the weight of family heritage defining a good portion of his life and his character. Unlike Uzumaki Naruto, he didn't have dreams of being the leader of his Village, which was more than fine because he didn't think he was cut out for the job. Unlike Uchiha Sasuke, he did not have the kind of charisma that drove people to the edge of the world and back again for his sake. Because, like Naruto, the young Uchiha had that astounding trait of easily becoming indispensable to certain people.
And yet, for all those unique traits that his friends had and he did not, he never felt too envious of them. Being simple might not have made him extraordinary, but it often was an advantage. It would occur to him that those people-whether intentionally or unintentionally- complicated their lives and their relationships and lost sight of what was important. Like the fact that, even during a heated argument, two people who love and respect each other are always on the same side.
"SANARO!"
Rock Lee's eye's widened comically at the sound of things breaking left and right, the sheer ear-splitting volume of the voice- inside a hospital no less- and how naturally it seemed to have trailed his train of thought. For all the simple things he liked and all the simple things he was, his choice of girlfriend was anything but. And, on top of that, someone had managed to tick her off. Bad. Said someone walked out of the hospital in a flurry of color.
Sakura was, predictably, on his heel. "Don't you dare walk away from me, Naruto!" she warned, waving her fist at the blonde. That mere gesture that had been known to give people nightmares, didn't seem to affect the blonde- and he would usually be the first to admit he dreaded it.
Naruto, who looked unusually grim, paused with his back to her. "Stay out of this, Sakura-chan."
His tone served to effectively halt her, which was by no means a simple task, because the pink-haired kunoichi was a force of nature. And yet she paused there, lips parted in words that never passed through them, eyes widening a little in what Lee recognized as trepidation, almost. No one was beyond the reach of some shade of fear depending on what was on the line. His dark eyes moved from one to the other, trying to asses the situation and maybe say something or do something that would wipe that look from her eyes.
It was in moments like these, that he had to curse his uncomplicated nature that oversimplified things. A friend is a friend no matter what; someone one respects will forever remain unsurpassed in one's mind; true love lasts forever; people lose their youth when they stop dreaming. All of them branded naiveties, waiting for life to tear them down before his gullible eyes. Gaara had once told him that he was too innocent, but, even as the words had sounded reproving, the Kazekage had graced him with one of those rare smiles, so he figured that it couldn't be that bad. In any case, though, his plain views on things did not help him fathom the present situation.
The pink-haired girl's hand came up to her chest and clammed at her vest. "Naruto…" she said softly- almost pleadingly.
Anyone who knew the loud member of Team 7, would know that she had no chance of being listened there and then. "Gomen." He said, a little more gently, because he meant it- because he could never be too harsh with the love of his childhood- and started walking away again. "Hey, Lee…" he greeted quickly and disappeared.
"Naruto-kun…" he greeted back at thin air, frowning a little.
Then he looked over at Sakura who was blindly staring his way, where the blonde had vanished. Though he and Naruto had been close friends for a while, in spite of the fact that they had teamed up on several missions and often risked their lives for each other, there were times that he was quite confused by the overly intricate or childishly simple ways that his friend would deal with things. The boy was far more complicated than most people would ever understand- perhaps himself included- and yet the things he had always wanted were a 5-year-old's wishes- to be loved, to be recognized, to be the hero.
After a moment Sakura sighed, dropping her hand to her side like it was numb, and walked to his side. "I'm sorry for all this." She said with barely concealed exasperation.
As they fell in step, he smiled assuringly at her. "Don't apologize, please." He said and meant it. "What's wrong?"
Annoyance touched her featured plainly at the question, whatever conversation she had with her teammate flashing behind her eyes. "Another fight between Naruto and Sasuke. It's turned into a bi-weekly event."
They walked to the hospital backyard. Usually, they would take long walks for her evening break or go someplace nice to eat and catch up on their days, if either had been away, or just talk. Most days it was almost an adventure, coated in the misleading form of simple, idle conversations about anything and nothing at all- all of them windows to the heart and soul of the woman he had adored for years. Today, though, the subject was obvious and it promised to be a lengthy discussion- or a tirade as it were- where she would mostly talk and he would mostly listen. This particular window- her relationship with Naruto and Sasuke- would often leave him with an inexplicable sense of inadequacy.
"Yosh! Lets figure this out together, Sakura!" he said with his trademark grin, because, as it often happened, even though her outward reaction was anger, her outbursts usually masked worry and confusion.
Sakura's teal eyes traced his features indecisively. What he had called inexplicable sense of inadequacy was in fact very easily explained, but he didn't like to go there. Because each time Naruto's or Sasuke's name would come up- and therefore her bond with them- she would always get this guarded look about her as though she was more worried about hurting him than he was about getting hurt. And though he appreciated the fact that she cared enough to worry, it only served to remind him of one simple truth: the simple story that she could have with a simple person like him would never measure up to the epic emotional rollercoaster that she had experienced with either member of Team 7. Most people would easily say that they didn't want to be hurt that much again, but even they would be unable to deny that even as the lows were so close to the pits of Hell that the heat was too much, they only prepared them for ecstatic highs. It was addictive. It was more than he could offer her, so he often wondered why she had decided to give him a chance instead of either of them- but never asked, too afraid of the answer. He didn't want to lose her. He couldn't compare to them. He was a coward. It was simple as that.
And things should be made simple as possible, but not simpler. Lee was human and, like all humans, he desired, felt things like happiness and often an equal measure of fear. Because once someone had a taste of heaven- held in their arms the fragile thing or person that they had always wished for- they can never go back to who they used to be. Nothing can ever amount to that. It was a simple truth that most people refused to acknowledge for the immense power it held over them.
Finally, she sighed. "I'm not sure what's going on with them. Again." She said in an exasperated tone, her need to talk and her trust in him winning over her hesitation. "It seems like every other day there's something. I can't keep up anymore."
Lee's smile remained on his lips, because for all her insight, Sakura could still not entirely realize how integral those heated arguments were to the boys' relationship. She had been scared off her understanding of it with everything that had happened- and that was human and reasonable. "Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun have always been competitive. There will always be something."
"It's not like that." She said quietly, as her thoughts drifted elsewhere and elsewhen. "It's almost like…"
Konoha's Green Beast watched his girlfriend- he could never think or say that word enough, it felt surreal- sitting on their bench, in the shade of their tree, trying to word what she was trying to not even think about. It hurt him that she hurt. He sat beside her and took her hand in his, earning one of those smiles that might make him turn very youthfully red. The simple truth was that since the moment he had laid eyes on her, she had been the one. He couldn't imagine that changing till the end of time. He wanted to tell her some day, if possible somewhere that waves would crush on rocks in the sunset. For some reason, the mental image was bringing Gai-sensei to mind… and that rather perturbed him. Significantly.
When her silence stretched, he blinked back to reality- forgetting about his weird tangent- and squeezed her hand. "Sakura…" he probed simply.
Uttering her name without a suffix was another thing that felt surreal. It took a lot of chastising by her to get rid of it, actually and he would often slip and use it again, but it was getting easier to naturally omit the closer they got- with youthful determination and a lot of threats from Sakura, he had done it. He supposed that when one has been wanting something for that long, it's hard to grasp the reality of simply having it. When someone has been wanting one thing long enough, reality becomes wanting it, not really having it; wanting it, the mere existence of it is sometimes enough. It would have been enough for him.
When she looked up at him, there was that twinkle in her eyes- like he was her life raft. Maybe it was that simple. "It's like before Sasuke left. That tension- and again I'm left out." She frowned to herself. "Sasuke is difficult, but Naruto talks to me. In the rare occasions that there's something on his mind other than ramen, he comes to me…" her frown deepened for a moment, before her expression dissolved to a combination of sadness and frustration. "Unless it has to do with Sasuke. Then it's like he's another person… someone I don't really know…" she lowered her eyes, her pink hair cascading around her beautiful face. "… Someone that only Sasuke knows…"
He reached over and tucked the soft, pink hair behind her ear. It really had been an instinctive move that left them both blushing. He really wished he could be more cool- or less of a dork, as Kiba had accused. Though they had been going out for months, they had been taking their time in getting to know each other. Everything had been slow and he was more than fine with that, because it was steady and promised to last; because they had time. And because he really was a dork when it came to stuff like that. Gai-sensei's advise had only gotten him in further trouble and anyone else he had asked had spent a lot of their time expressing disbelief that Sakura really agreed to go with him. It was cute at first, but got really old, really fast. The only one who had said very little in ways of disbelief was, surprisingly, Neji, but his advice on matters of the heart was at best crappy. He didn't even use that word generally, but it was the truth. What was it he had said? "You should make it abundantly clear that she's either committed to you or she should go back to the people she's been committed to all these years. You can do better." Seriously? Did that even fall under advice?It was also an unfortunate event, because he could no longer ask Tenten, without somehow admitting that her boyfriend was no genius in matters of the heart and should really stick to Juuken. And that was not gentlemanly.
"Team dynamics are a strange thing, Sakura." He started, keeping in mind the current situation on his team with Neji and Tenten having their thing even as both denied it. "Whatever is going on between them doesn't affect their relationship with you. You just need to understand that they have their own friendship to work on and a lot to catch up on. They'll work it out by themselves."
Sakura scoffed. "There's no one on earth but them when they get like that. It took us a long time to be whole again… I just feel like it's all slipping through my fingers again."
"You won't lose them." He said definitively and stared into her eyes to show her that he did believe in his own words and that he was there for her. "But you do need to accept that they are both adults and their relationship is their own matter."
"I guess…" she said after a moment, not sounding entirely convinced. "I suppose I'm just used to think of us as Team 7. Naruto and I had been chasing after Sasuke for all those years… maybe it hasn't quite sunk in that we did catch up to him."
"They are both adults." Lee reminded her again, with a smile. "You don't have to mother them quite as much."
The comment seemed to amuse her, because she chuckled. "Oh, I think they have plenty of growing up to do still. I mean Naruto has to realize how Hinata feels eventually. The poor girl has been holding on for him for years."
Though she had said it with a smile, there was something crisp underlying her words, like a conscious attempt to remind herself that her Naruto would eventually belong to another. "Neji told me that Hinata agreed to go out with Kiba. Imagine that, after all these years that she had pinned for Naruto."
Teal eyes widened into saucers. "No shit!"
It rather surprised him, because Sakura would rarely use profanities around him. He had sometimes wondered if he was inspiring that behavior or if she just wasn't quite comfortable enough. "I guess everyone gets tired of waiting eventually."
There had been no subtext in his words, nothing that might have deserved the uncertain look he received from her- as though he had just uttered some sort of vague threat. One trait that she did seem to share with a lot of women was that, when it came to tentative matters, he had to walk on eggshells; oh, yes, he failed that one miserably every time. Part of it might be that he never really understood the parable. Who would walk on eggshells anyway and what chances would anyone stand at not breaking them? He was all for profound metaphors, but his simple way of thinking had deemed a lot of them silly.
"I just hadn't thought that Hinata would give up after all these years… especially now." She continued, after taking a deep breath.
He arched a brow. "Now?"
Sakura shrugged. "Well, with Sasuke back, Naruto is a lot less distracted."
The wording triggered something in him. It was that very simple urge to say or ask something, the response to which had been known for tearing down one's sense of reality. "If that is so…" he fought with the words that screamed to be allowed past his lips. "If that is so, why did you give up now?"
Her beautiful eyes snapped up to his in shock. "… What?"
"You have always wanted to be with Sasuke-kun…" he pressed on, "When he left, you were willing to give everything up to go with him-"
"That was the immature determination of a girl, Lee." She interjected.
Most times he would have stopped there. Because he was a gentleman and because he was obviously upsetting her. But he had to do it. Unless he did, he doubted that he could ever ask her about it again. And he had to know. No amount of assurances of the 'youthful power of love' by Gai-sensei could dissolve that question mark for him- and he did feel shame about that. His sensei's word was his very reality. "And everyone could tell that your feelings for Naruro evolved through the years…"
Sakura looked down and sighed. "I love them both. " she admitted. "I really do. But I didn't give up. Lee… that's insulting to you and us."
Now he joined her in staring at the ground, feeling guilty that he had even opened his mouth. Feeling worse than merely guilty, because, in spite of her assurance- in addition to his sensei's- he remained unconvinced. It wasn't so much that he thought that she was laying to him, as much as he had to wonder if she was lying to herself. He hated doubting her. He wanted- needed- to believe her.
Pale hands reached out to hold his. "Ever since I was a girl I had always dreamed that eventually I would meet someone who would love me unconditionally, keep me safe and I would live with him happily ever after. And I had really thought that that man would one day be Sasuke. I was sure of it."
Lee blinked at her. If this was her idea of allaying his fears and making her point, it really wasn't working quite right. That simple thought she had described was the dream of every little girl who waited for her knioght in shining armor. That knight would have Uchiha Sasuke's perfect face or Hyuuga Neji's silent grace or even Uzumaki Naruto's unyielding determination. Lee had never seen himself as the hero of such a fairytale. Anything he had managed to accomplish in life, he had done so with effort and pain- there had never been any sort of celestial grace and divine providence to his achievements. There had never been talent or fate or any sort of extraordinary force that would facilitate anything. He was who he was simply because of his hard work- and he was no prince; a prince would never have to get his hands as dirty as he had.
"Everyone knew that Sasuke was jaded… a lot… but every woman loves a sufferer. I had fantasized that my healing touch would be his salvation. And then he'd change- shed all those things that made him difficult and be the man I wanted." She continued and- to his surprise- rolled her eyes at her words. Then she smiled a little. "And then there was Naruto, who annoyed me to no end at first. He was loud and always in my way… I always had to compete with him for Sasuke's attention and he always seemed to win." Her smile faded and her tone darkened a bit as she picked up the thread of another story. "But then Sasuke left. Naruto was the only real thing for me as everything else was falling apart. We went after Sasuke together- me because I was in love and him, because…"
The pause made him arch a brow. Sakura seemed like a torrent of memories poured behind her eyes that lit up or dimmed with scenes from years of search and pain and desperate hope.
"Because nothing seemed to matter to him as much as getting Sasuke back. Not even his dream of becoming Hokage. Through those years I really saw him… watched his passion and loyalty to Sasuke and thought that I'd really want him to give those things to me too." She looked at him then, no regrets, just acceptance. "But Sasuke won't change, nor should he have to. People should be loved and accepted as they are, ne? And Naruto will never feel the way he does for anyone but Sasuke… and that's fine, because I am nothing like Sasuke."
"Sakura…" he started.
"No, listen to me." She stopped him and smiled softly. "I look at you and think that I'm an idiot. Because everything that I have ever wanted to change in Sasuke and everything that I had wanted from Naruto was right before my eyes this entire time." She squeezed his hands. "I didn't give up; I finally understood."
He looked at her almost uncomprehendingly. This is what he had been wanting- praying- to hear from her all along, but never quite believed that he would. The unreality of it all made the feeling of happiness swelling in him feel like a soap bubble, about to burst at the lightest touch. It made him feel more drank than any amount of alcohol he had ever had- just as light-headed, spaghetti-legged, but thankfully without the mad rage outburst. There was nothing he could say in response to such a gift, so he simply brought her hands to his lips and kissed them reverently. His girlfriend smiled warmly at him, before the mischievous glint appeared in her eyes.
"What are you doing? Am I your grandma or something." She said and leaned in to kiss him on the lips.
It was such a simple gesture between people who were involved the way they were, but he had yet to get used to it. Lee felt as much of a nervous wreck during each of their kisses as he had the very first time. She pulled back and looked into his eyes with that shy smile and the light blush- like she always looked during intimate moments, beautiful and immaculate. He reached out and tucked her hair behind her ears again, stroking her chin as his hand fell away.
"I think that in your words you can also find the reason why things will work out for your teammates as well." He said confidently. "Naruto-kun's feelings for Sasuke-kun have only gotten stronger through the years."
This time she smiled a little. "He worships the ground Sasuke walks on." She confirmed with a chuckle.
"And Sasuke-kun has changed for Naruto-kun." He added. "The fact that he apologized to him at Ino's party is evidence enough, no?"
She blinked as though the thought was entirely new to her. "He has, hasn't he?" she muttered absently, testing the words in her mouth. "He has changed for Naruto… not because of him- for him."
"… Huh?" was all he could say after a confused moment. Whatever new realization had dawned upon her, it had left her looking like she had just had a mini-stroke. It was very disturbing. "Are you okay?"
Then she laughed. It was the kind of laughter that might spill from someone's mouth when something is too big or shocking for the mind to really process. The cause could be grief or joy or just something so simple, forever right before one's eyes that had never quite clicked until that specific moment. She laughed for a while, holding her stomach in pain, almost doubling over.
It took her a few alarming moments to collect herself. "I'm okay, Lee, I promise." She said half-laughing, still. "Well, maybe not entirely, but I will be."
"Did I… say something wrong?" he asked somewhat reluctantly, still unsure as to what happened and really not wanting her to go into another creepy laughing fit.
Sakura waved her hand dismissively and smiled at him. "Not at all… you pointed out the obvious." She sighed. "I suppose it's difficult to really see something change when you're sure you know everything. And I keep learning that I don't know all that much…"
He frowned, forming a prominent dark cloud over his eyes. "I don't understand…" he said just as reluctantly and not entirely sure he even wanted.
When her laughter eased entirely, her smile was familiar. "If I'm right, it will become apparent soon enough." She got up. "I have to go back to work... Sorry about all this…"
He fell in step beside her, mirroring her smile. "I'm not. I'm always here to share your troubles, Sakura-san."
"Lee, what have I told you about suffi-"
Her tone had been stern, but she was cut short as he used that moment to be bold and kiss her. Gai-sensei would be proud. After a moment, he pulled back with a huge, blush that she matched perfectly. "I know… Sakura." He said, smiling and noticing- and hoping to Kami that she didn't- that his voice was unusually high-pitched. He gave a small bow, and as she started to walk up the stair to the hospital, he turned to walk away. His knees felt so weak. However brave the act, he was still the same nervous wreck as usual.
"Lee…" she called to him. "How about dinner tonight?"
The smile on his face broadened. "I'd love to." He said. "Should I pick you up at 7?"
"No, just meet me at my house. My mother will be cooking."
There was a gargling, choking sound rising in his throat instead of words. He really, really was happy, but the impromptu invitation to have dinner with the in-laws, bit it was just so terribly stressful. Sakura started to look concerned and was about to walk to him when he forced a smile on his face- that practically hurt- and gave his good guy pose. "I'll be there."
She smiled. "Dinner is at 7.30. Don't be late, or my father will kill you." she said with a straight face, getting that deer in the headlight look. She laughed and waved at him as she stepped inside. "Just kidding."
Honest to Kami, he could never tell with that girl. The thought made him smile to himself a moment, before he remembered his dinner-date tonight. He needed to get flowers. A cake, probably. Presents? Would that make him seem too desperate to be liked? Though Sakura had pleaded with him not to go to Gai-sensei for advice in matters like that, he really could use his help right there and then.
Dinner was a simple enough task, wasn't it? But if Sakura was a product of her environment, he dreaded to see what mama and papa Haruno were like. A mental image of a pink haired man with inhuman strength and a very short fuse came to mind and sent shivers down his spine. He was sure that for most people the mental image would be funny, but he was the one that was having dinner with the man. He bet there would be a pink moustache involved too- just because it would be funny no matter how serious the situation and he never really got a break.
Lee slumped his shoulders for a moment. "Gai-sensei…" he muttered miserably.
He was a simple man in a pretty complex word and most days that was fine, because it was often easy to trim down life's mystery. People needed people. People needed love. People needed the hope that tomorrow would be better than today. People needed dream- the death of which was worse than the death of flesh. People needed a reason- because there was no darkness like a soul's that has lost its way. Gaara had agreed that what he said was probably true, other than the cases of sociopaths and the Akatsuki- which he figured was pretty much the same thing.
It occurred to him then that he was smiling and the previous cloud of thoughts that had overwhelmed him was a thing of the past. Simple as that. He started walking towards the shops, breathing in the air full of spices, from the food that the housewives prepared, but mostly the summer itself. He considered giving Neji a second try as a relationship advisor, but decided against it.
When one was so complicated, so intricately refined, they could no longer grasp the simple workings a mind like his. And that was fine, because, in his simple, little world, he was truly happy.
And that was Lee! Taaaa-daaaah!! So sorry for the delays, but it couldn't be helped. Next chappie will be Gai pov … with Kakashi … and random guest stars. Just because Those two make for really random dialogue and because I feel like battling my Angsty muse and writing something a little more light-hearted. In the meantime, I hope you lovely people enjoy this one.
Love and Kisses!
Ja!
M.
