Disclaimer: I do not own OTH or any of it characters places or such. I am simply borrowing them.
AN/ Here is the next chapter! Thanks for all the reviews and all of the encouragement. I hope you all like this chapter. This is by far the longest one I have ever written.Please don't forget to review for this chapter.
As always suggestions are welcome!
Haley could feel Nathan's eyes on her. She forced herself not to look towards him. She didn't want to be pulled in by the blue eyes that were staring at her. She couldn't be pulled in. She wanted to get up and walk away, but she couldn't do that either. It was almost like she was glued to the bench. Something would not let her move
Nathan sat there staring at her. She had changed her hair since he had last seen her that afternoon leaving the café. He was sure that it was the product of girl's night and he smiled as he thought of how cute she looked as a blond. He waited for her to look towards him acknowledging that he was there. When she didn't he thought that maybe she didn't know he was there, but quickly dismissed that thought. Haley knew he was there and she knew that he was staring at her. Still she didn't make any movement. The silence between them was deafening until Nathan spoke.
"Haley" Nathan said as he watched her visibly jump. He had startled her. Still she did not say a word nor look his way. "Haley, please talk to me"
Nathan watched as Haley's head whipped around to look at him, "I don't have anything to say to you, Nathan"
"Will you listen then? Listen to what I have to say?" Nathan asked
"I think I have heard enough from you today." Haley said as she started to stand. Nathan stood also grabbing Haley's arm, "Let go of me" When Nathan didn't let go, Haley began to try to pull her arm away, "Nathan, let go"
"Not until you listen to me," Nathan said
"I don't want to listen to you."
"Please Haley. Just listen to me"
"Let go of me, Nathan" Haley said as her voice grew louder
Nathan released his hold on Haley and watched as she began to gingerly rub her left arm
"I am sorry"
"You are always sorry, Nathan."
"Haley, I know. Would you just hear me out?"
Haley was silent. She didn't want to put herself back in the same position that she had been in earlier that day, hurt. She knew that she should just walk away, but there was still that urging that said to let him talk.
"Okay, I am listening" came the silent words as Haley sat back down on the bench
Nathan took a deep breath and began to pace. Here was his chance. His chance to tell Haley what he wanted to say. Nathan took another deep breath as Haley looked at him waiting.
"Haley, I know that I hurt you that day at the docks and I know that I hurt you even worse today. I should have taken the chance on us back then, but I was only thinking of myself. I was selfish. I was arrogant and I thought that I was untouchable. I know now that I was wrong. I saw the hurt in your eyes when I told you that I didn't love you. I couldn't look at you after that without seeing that hurt. It wasn't visible, but I knew it was there so I started ignoring you. When I started dating Bevin, I watched your reaction. I watched your reaction the day that we told everyone we were engaged and the day that we got married. I know that those times hurt you also. You never showed it, but I know that deep down you were hurt."
"Nathan, do you want me to tell you that it was okay? That it was okay for me to stand there and watch you fall in love with someone else."
"No, Haley, I don't. I want you to know that I am sorry for the hurt that I have caused you all these years. I love you, Haley. I have always loved you. I want to be with you. I want to be able to say that we worked this all out and that we are finally together like we should have been all those years ago."
" I am a forgivable person, but this cuts deep, very deep. Almost too deep"
"I know that Haley. I also know how I feel about you. These feeling don't just go away. I know that you feel like a rebound, but you are not. In all honesty, I think Bevin was the rebound. I loved you first."
"Nathan, why are you telling me all of this?"
"Because I don't want to walk away from here without knowing that I told you how I really feel. Hales, I want to spend my life with you. I want to go to bed with you every night and wake up next to you every morning. I want to share life experiences with you. Everything, Haley, I want everything with you"
"Nathan…" Haley started before taking a deep breath and standing. "I can't put myself in that position"
"You love me, don't you?"
"Nathan…"
"Haley, I know that you love me. You told me yourself today"
"Yes, Nathan, I admit it I love you but, that is not going to fix this"
"What can I do to fix this? What can I do to make you see that I want you?"
"Nothing. Nathan, there is nothing that you can say. There is nothing that you can do. This is what it is"
"Haley, please there has to be something that will at least make you think about us"
"Nathan, there is no us. There has never been any us. All we are, are Nathan and Haley, best friends since diapers. That is the way that it is going to have to stay Nathan. I am sorry," Haley said as she turned and started to walk away
"Haley" Nathan said running after her. When Nathan reached her he turned her around and planted a small, but passionate kiss on her lips.
Haley pulled away suddenly as tears began to fill her eyes, "Nathan, why did you do that? It can't happen." Haley turned back in the direction of Peyton's house tears rolling down her face as she ran.
Nathan stood there debating on whether or not he should go after her. He had hoped that the kiss would change her mind, but it hadn't. He had kissed her and she all she said was that it couldn't happen. Nathan sat down on his knees right where he stood. His head fell in his hands as the words replayed in his head.
Haley entered Peyton's house and ran up the stairs tears still flowing freely down her face. As she neared Petyon's room, she could hear her friends talking.
"I am really worried about Haley maybe we should have gone with her," Theresa said
"She has had a rough day. She probably needs some alone time. She will be back soon," Peyton said
"Hey" Brooke said as Haley moved to stand in the doorway, "Haley what happened?"
"Nathan…." Haley said before she was engulfed in a hug from Brooke.
"Shh" Brooke said as she looked back at Peyton and Theresa with a wondering and worried look upon her face
The back door to the Scott house opened as Nathan entered.
"Hey you. I thought you were at Tric" Karen said from the kitchen table
"I was. I went for a walk" Nathan answered walking to the refrigerator for a water
"Everything alright?"
"No" Nathan said as she sat down across the table from Karen
"Want to talk about it?"
"Not really, mom"
"Okay. You know if your father was here. He would take one look at you and say that you have done something that you regret"
"Yea, he probably would and he would be right. I really wish he was here mom. I need his advice"
"Yea, I know sweetheart. Keith was always good for giving advice."
"What's all this?" Nathan said motioning to the pile of papers laid across the table
"This is stuff of your father's. Old tax returns, old articles from newspapers"
"Where did you find it?"
"It was in a box in our closet. I was looking for the title for the truck. This box is where he kept all the important papers," Karen said as she laughed and picked an old comic strip.
"Have you found it yet?"
"No, but there is another box in the closet. One that he labeled important papers 2"
"Do you want me to get it for you?"
"If you wouldn't mind"
"Sure" Nathan said as he stood and walked towards his parent's bedroom.
"Haley, what happened?" Peyton said after Haley was calm enough to talk. Brooke had moved their hug from the doorway to Peyton's bed and still had her arm around Haley
"I went to the docks to think. Nathan showed up. He said all of these things about wanting to be with me and wanting to spend the rest of his life with me. I didn't want to listen to him anymore so I started to walk away, he followed me and he kissed me"
"He kissed you?" Brooke said
"Yea, I told him that it couldn't happen and ran away. Why did he have to be this way? I wanted so much all those years ago to be with him and to have him kiss me and now when I am finally leaving it in the past, he wants to be with me."
"Haley" Peyton said as Haley looked up at her, "Haley, what do you want? Do you want to be with Nathan? Do you want to have all of the things that he said he wanted?"
Haley sighed still looking at Peyton, her life long best friend. "Yea, Peyt, I want to be with him. I want all of the things that he wants, but I don't want to take a chance of getting hurt." Haley finally confessed
"We know you are scared, but life is about taking chances. You can walk away like Nathan did when you told him that you loved him or you can take a chance on this relationship now" Theresa said
"We will be here for you no matter what you decide. We are your friends and we stick together" Brooke said as she hugged Haley again
Haley smiled at her three friends. She had received the advice that she needed now all she had to do was figure out if she was willing to take the chance on a relationship with Nathan. Was she willing to put her whole heart into it? Could she trust him again?
Nathan opened his parent's door and walked directly to the closet. The light was still on from when his mom had been in there and Nathan searched the top shelf for the box that he was after. When he found it, he pulled it down and opened the top. Sitting on top of the stack of papers was exactly what his mom was looking for. He picked the title up what his right hand balancing the box with his left. He placed the title between his teeth so that he could close the box, but something caught his eye, an envelope with 'Nathan' written on the front in Keith's handwriting. Nathan left the closet with the box still in his hand and sat it down on the bed. He placed the title on the bed and removed the envelope from the box. He turned it over and found it not sealed. He sat down on the bed and pulled the letter out.
Nathan,
If you are reading this letter then I have probably passed away. I am not sure how it got into your hands, but I am sure that it was the right time. I know that my death has saddened you and I am sorry for that. It was my time. There are a couple of things that I want you to know. I have loved being your dad. Ever since you were born, I have been that father figure in your life and I would not trade the world for that. You were a good kid; Nate and you are a good man. I know that you have had some rough times in your life, but you have always kept your chin up. You have been the greatest son that any man could have asked for. I know that Deb would be proud of who you have become and I know that Karen is. You have brought so much joy to my life that it is too hard for me to put into words. I may not have said it enough when I was alive, but I love you son. Do me a favor, Nathan. Go after your dreams; go after what you want. Life is too short to live with regret. This coming from the guy who took forever to tell you mom how I really felt. I wasted time with her, but I know that it was all part of the journey. That time apart was well worth the years that I have spent loving your mom and raising you and your brother. You two have been my world and my inspiration. I leave you with this piece of advice, live life to the fullest and don't ever let obstacles get in the way of your dreams.
I am very proud of you and know that I will always love you.
Dad
Oh, one more thing, I have always thought you belonged with Haley. That girl is one of a kind.
Nathan wiped at the tears that were falling from his eyes as he closed the letter.
"Nathan, you alright?"
"I uh...I found the title and I found this" Nathan said holding up the folded letter
"What is it?"
"A letter that dad wrote. His advice from the grave" Nathan said
Karen sat down the bed next to the box and looked inside. There were more envelopes inside addressed to Lucas, Meredith, her, each of their "adopted children", his parents, Dan and friends. Karen smiled. These were his last words.
"I got something that I have to do mom. I will be back"
"Okay. "
"Mom?" Nathan said stopping at the doorway and looking back at his mom, "I love you."
Karen smiled, "I love you too Nate"
Nathan walked down the hallway and out the back door heading towards the Sawyer's house.
"Guys, I think I am pretty well hammered." Lucas said sitting down his finished bottle
"Yea, me too. Let's go home," Skills said
"We can't. Our designated driver is in a deep conversation with Erica" Jake said nodding with his bottle to the bar where Mouth and Erica stood talking
"I think those two look good together" Lucas said
"Yea, Mouth deserves someone special" Jake said
"I just wish he would hurry up and ask her out already. I am ready to get out of here and hit the sack," Skill said
Lucas laughed, "Alcohol still make you sleepy?"
"Yes. I would call Theresa and tell her to come get me, but they are having a girl's night. I don't think she would appreciate it"
"Probably not. They need time together beside we all seem to be crashing at the Scott household," Jake said
"Does mom know this time?" Skills said looking at Lucas
"Yes, I told her."
"I can almost see the look on her face when she found us all crashed in her living room" Jake said laughing
"Yea, I think she was a little shocked" Lucas said
"I think she would be especially when she didn't even know you guys were home from school" Skill said, "and then she comes out in her living room and finds all of us sleeping"
Lucas laughed, "She always said that she liked having all of her children under one roof "
"I think she might like to know they were all going to be there first though," Jake said
"Hey guys, you ready to go?" Mouth said approaching the table
"Where's Erica?" Skills asked
"She went home. We are going to get together tomorrow for lunch" Mouth said with a smile on his face
"Mouth has a girlfriend," Jake said
"She is not my girlfriend. We are just having lunch"
"Sure whatever you say man, but that smile of yours tells a different story" Lucas said as he and the other two stood and started toward the door.
Mouth stood by the table with a smile on his face; 'okay maybe she is becoming his girlfriend'
Nathan walked up the front steps of the Sawyer's house and rang the doorbell. Normally he would have just walked in, but it just didn't feel right
"Who is ringing the doorbell this late at night?" Haley asked
"I don't know. I'll go find out," Peyton said standing from her sitting position on the floor flipping through a bridal magazine
"Take the bat with you" Brooke said. Peyton looked at her funny. "What? It might be a burglar"
"Who rings the doorbell!" Peyton said as she walked out of her bedroom door and down the stairs shaking her head.
Peyton reached the front door and opened it to find Nathan.
"Nathan. What are you doing here? Everything alright?" Peyton asked
"Yea, I just need to talk to Haley. Is she here?"
"Nathan, I am not sure she wants to talk to you"
"Peyton, please just tell her that I am here and see if she will talk with me"
"Okay, stay here. I will be back" Peyton said closing the door as Nathan sat down on the front steps
"Who is it?" Theresa asked when Peyton reappeared in her room
"It's Nathan" Peyton said as Haley looked up from her magazine, "He wants to talk to you, Haley"
"What? Doesn't he think that he has said enough for one day" Brooke said getting up from the bed and heading toward the door
"It's okay, Brooke. I will go down stairs and talk with him" Haley said standing
"Are you sure?" Brooke said
"Yea" Haley said taking a deep breath
"If you need us just yell" Theresa said as Haley disappeared down the stairs
Nathan heard the front door open and looked back to see Haley closing it behind her.
"Peyton said that you wanted to talk" Haley said standing by the door
"I wasn't sure that you would come down"
"Yea, well I did. What did you want to talk about?"
"I found a letter from dad. A letter that he wrote a while ago I think" Nathan said looking out at the front yard
"Oh"
"Yea, it was kind of a surprise. It actually gave me the advice that I needed. He told me to never let obstacles get in the way of what I want. Haley, I know that I have said this a hundred times, but I want to be with you. I am willing to go through whatever obstacles it takes to get there. That is all I came to say" Nathan said as he stood and started walking back down the walkway towards the street
Haley bit her bottom lip before stepping forward. 'Now or never Haley take a chance'
"Nathan" Haley called out as she walked down the steps
Nathan stopped, but did not turn around
When Haley reached Nathan she took a deep breath, "Nathan, when you kissed me it made me realize something. Something that I have been trying to put behind me for years. I want to be with you. I know that I said that it couldn't happen, but I am willing to take a chance, if you are"
Nathan hung his head and sighed, "I don't deserve this Haley. I don't deserve for you to want to take a chance so easily"
"Nathan, it is not by any means going to be easy. I am still hurt and I am working on the whole trusting you completely. I am not sure I can ever forget about what has happened, but I can forgive."
Nathan turned to face Haley, "Haley, are you sure? Are you absolutely sure that you want this?"
"Yes. Nathan, I am willing to put my whole self, heart, everything into this relationship. I don't know how it is going to turn out. I do know that I don't want to live with regret of never taking the chance."
"I love you, Hales. I promise you that I will try my best never to hurt you again." Nathan said
"I know Nathan. I love you too," Haley said as a huge smile spread across her face
"Dude, will you just kiss her already?" Lucas said from the backseat Mouth's gray trailblazer on the other side of the street
"Lucas, you ruined the moment" Brooke said from Peyton's bedroom window
Nathan laughed as he looked at his brother hanging out of the window. "Thanks Lucas."
"No problem" Lucas said smiling
"Brooke, are you spying on us?" Haley asked looking up at her
"No, just making sure that you are okay" Brooke said
"Yea, sure" Haley said smiling
"Brooke, where is my fiancée? I want to tell her good night," Jake said leaning over Lucas
The front door opened and Theresa and Peyton stepped out sheepishly
"Well, I guess we don't have to worry about telling our friends" Nathan said
"No, I guess not"
"Just kiss her, MAN!" Skills yelled from the front seat next to Mouth
"Be quiet Skills" Theresa said from the front porch, "Sorry guys. We will just go back inside"
"No, how about you guys just come home with us?" Nathan said
"Yea, I think we have had enough girl's and guy's night. How about we have friend's night?" Haley said
"Be right down" Brooke said closing Peyton's window
"How about that kiss now?" Nathan said
"I thought you would never ask" Haley said as she leaned into Nathan and their lips met. This time the kiss was just as passionate.
