A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I hope you all enjoy this chapter and thank you all for your kind words of encouragement. As to those who love to speculate thank you for taking such an interest in my fanfic ^^ but you know I can't tell you anything cause it will ruin the surprise :D

Also, I now have a tumblr! Please check out my tumblr (replace underscore with dots)

http:/cmtilney_tumblr_com/

I've added sets of Hermione, Ron, Lena and Ernie polyvore sets on there and plan to add character images ^^

ENJOY!


Chapter 25 - He first met her

Hermione was just placing Ron's newly cleaned shirts to his allocated wardrobe when he and Harry entered the room. They both had identical faces of excitement on their faces but faltered when they saw Hermione. She stayed as she was, sitting on floor at Ron's open wardrobe.

"Hey," she said looking from one boy to the other.

"Hi," Harry spoke first, Ron gave her a nod.

"What's going on," she said slowly when they continued to stare at her.

"Just counted the votes," Harry said his face cracking into a smile, "It was pretty tight call but we got most of the D.A. to agree to let Lena join."

Hermione looked at Ron and saw a small smile on his face before he nodded at her.

"That's brilliant," Hermione said instantly jumping off the floor.

She ran towards them and hugged them both, Harry first since he was closest and then Ron. There was an awkward moment where they both paused, arms outstretched towards each other, their smiles faltered slightly before they both laughed and hugged each other.

She felt her body relax in his arms and she released a contented sigh as she buried her face in his chest.

She heard someone clear his throat and she instantly let go of Ron to find Harry looking determinedly in the opposite direction.

"So I should - probably -" she smiled shyly avoiding Ron's gaze, before edging towards the door, "Go tell Lena."

She closed the door behind her and took a deep breath. She reached up and touched her burning cheeks beneath her palms.

"Thanks."

Hermione stilled when she heard Ron's voice from the other side of the door.

"Have you been taking - "

"Yes," Ron cut Harry off briskly, "Sorry, just..."

"You still seeing her then?"

Hermione's smile faltered as her heart begin to race.

Who were they talking about? Lavender?

"I forget sometimes that's all, no need to get that look on your face."

"What look? Do I have a look? This is my face, my ordinary-nothing-special-going-on-here face."

Ron snorted.

"Yeah and its as ugly as ever," there was a sound as though the boys were scuffling with each other before Ron spoke again, "It would be easier if she just didn't - look like her."

Hermione felt a spark of pain through her temples and instantly pushed away from the door.

'No more.'

She didn't want to hear anymore.

Steadily, she made her way downstairs and towards Lena's room.

She found Lena at the window sill, she was leaning over a small leafy plant which was strangely swaying though the window was closed and was trying to extract a little berry from it swaying branches.

Lena looked up when she heard the door click behind Hermione. She pushed her glasses back up her nose gave Hermione a nod before returning to whatever it was she was doing.

Hermione waited till she was done and seated at her desk examining the newly acquired berry between her fingers that Hermione finally spoke.

"You're in."

Lena stilled and turned her eyes straight at Hermione, it made her cringe slightly since there was no longer the comical bug-like glasses to obstruct the view of Lena's eyes. Now you could clearly see the intensity of those oddly swirling depths.

Lena shook her head at Hermione before turning her attention back to the berry in her hand, she placed it in a small vial, and picked up a quill to label the object.

"More information please," Lena said after she had tied the label to the vial with a small green piece of twine.

"Oh right," Hermione chuckled when she understood Lena's lackluster reaction, "Harry just told me, he's counted the votes and you're in."

She smiled at Lena.

"When?"

Hermione quickly interpreted this.

"Uh, if you mean the first meeting, well it will be saturday night."

Lena stopped what she was doing and turned suddenly to stare at Hermione, her eyes slightly widened, which would have been the equivalent of someone else cursing and throwing a fit.

Instead Lena, stood up from her chair, fastened her slytherin cloak around her shoulders and walked out the door.

Hermione didn't even even have time to say anything before the door closed behind her.

She gaped at the door for a moment and looked around at the room helplessly.

'Not the reaction I was expecting,' she thought before moving to chase after Lena.

'I hope she's not upset,' Hermione thought to herself. Maybe Ginny and she shouldn't have pushed her to join the D.A. especially since it seemed to cause tension with Ernie.

I see so much of myself in Lena. Someone on the outside, perfectly capable of living a life on her own and yet wanting so desperately to be accepted and loved. This probably had as much to do with proving herself as well showing that Lena was a good person.

Hermione ran down the stairs and saw Lena exit the common room. She dodged a few Gryffindors and was scrambling out the portrait hole when she ran straight into someone.

"Ouch," she said rubbing her forehead as she stumbled backwards.

"You alright?"

Hermione stilled and looked up at Ron.

He had his bag slung over a shoulder, and he stepped aside to allow some other Gryffindors into the common room.

"Hi," she said awkwardly, "What -"

"Oh, I forgot my bag in Charms," he explained when she looked at him curiously, as they had just seen each other moments before.

She nodded her head in understanding.

"Ah..."

He nodded a response and they stood motionless for a few seconds before they shared an awkward smile.

"Well, I better..." Ron said waving towards the boys dormitory.

"Yeah, yeah well me to - I mean I have to -" she replied pointing at the portrait hole.

Another awkward smile and they each went their own way.

She pushed open the portrait hole and rolled her eyes at herself.

'Not uncomfortable at all.'

She looked over her shoulder but Ron was already gone she did however catch Ginny watching her over a copy of the Quibbler but the girl instantly looked back at the magazine.

Hermione suppressed a sigh and left the common room

She didn't have much luck finding Lena unfortunately and she wandered the hallways for a few hours. She was starting to get worried, she hoped that Ernie hadn't been right. She and Ginny had practically forced her to join the D.A. She hoped the girl hadn't gone straight to the Slytherin's to find out information. That wasn't the point of her joining the D.A. Though she had told the others that Lena would be a good source of inside information she was more concerned about keeping her safe as well as helping Lena make more friends. She had to admit that it had become slightly easier to talk to Lena but still, making more friends would be essential if she had been honest about ending her dependency on Ernie.

She saw Lena ahead of her turning a corner and sighed in relief.

Suddenly she froze.

She felt as though time were slowing and she could hear her heart beat loudly as though they were loud drums in her ears. She wanted to move but couldn't. She realised that everything around her had slowed as well. Sitting beside a nearby column was Ron's ginger cat, its paw frozen in mid-air as though it were just about to lick it but now it was completely frozen.

Her eyes widened when she saw a person step towards her.

"Hello Hermione."

Hermione stared at the girl in shock. She wanted to speak but couldn't.

It couldn't be possible. It just couldn't...

Hermione stared back at - well at Hermione.

The girl standing before her was almost like a ghost, completely transparent. She had on an ancient looking dress that hung off one shoulder with a golden ribbon tied around her waist to hold it in place. Her hair though identical to her own was loose and free and hanging off her shoulders almost surrounding her face in a strange misty halo of light. There were gold and blue glowing symbols all along her arms. They were strange symbols familiar and yet...her mind couldn't quite place where it was she had seen them.

Curious.

She wanted to look away and yet couldn't.

How was it even possible. Before she could even consider the many possibilities that flashed through her mind, her ghostly doppelganger spoke,

"úp ábregdan, inweorpan!"

The voice had strange echo and unearthly feeling to it, even as her twin finished speaking, the words still seemed to echo inside her head. The voice chilled her to the bone and frightened her on some instinctual level. And if she could have moved, she was sure her face would have contorted in confusion because she had no idea what her doppelganger had just said.

The ghostly Hermione gave her a look which conveyed affection yet concern at the same time.

Then the next instant Hermione almost tripped on the floor as her leg suddenly came down from its frozen position. She looked around her, she was completely alone in the corridor. She reached up and touched her neck which had felt as though it was burning from lack of air a moment ago but felt completely normal now. She looked outside and saw the clouds moving once more, she turned and saw Ron's cat cleaning itself as if seemingly unaware or ignoring her.

A pulsing pain shot through her head.

She held her aching head in her hands.

"What the hell was that?" she wondered aloud when her headache had subsided somewhat.

"Hermione?"

Hermione started and turned around. There was someone walking towards her, their face partially obscured by the shadows of the columns along the walls.

"Ernie," she said when he finally stepped into the lamplight, she quickly calmed herself realising that her heart was still racing from the sudden appearance a ghostly version of herself.

She cleared and her throat to speak but he was straining his neck to look over her shoulder.

"Have you seen Lena?" he questioned before mumbling, "Thought I saw..."

Hermione suddenly remembered that she had been in the process of chasing after her friend.

"I was just looking for her myself," Hermione explained and bit her lip when Ernie frowned at her.

He seemed to try to read her expression much in the same manner that he seemed to do with Lena but after a moment he gave up, apparently he only possessed that skill with Lena.

"Why, what's happened? Is she alright."

She felt a warmth in her to see the concern Ernie had for his childhood friend. It was little wonder that Lena who had felt so very little love in her life had clung to the one person apart from her mother who offered it freely and without question.

He must have noticed her staring because he stopped looking around the corridor and turned to look at her directly.

She had the words on the tip of her tongue but couldn't bring herself to say it.

'Do you love Lena?'

She wondered if Ernie knew of Lena's feelings, he seemed to know everything else about her and yet - she frowned. She steeled herself. No. She would not break the confidence of a friend nor would she investigate something just for the sake of her own curiosity. If they were indeed brother and sister it would be too cruel and she would prefer not to confirm Lena's suspicions and if they weren't there still seemed something else that prevented Lena from making her feelings known to Ernie, something to do with their argument earlier? Besides, no matter what the truth was, he had a girlfriend.

She realised that he had asked her a question and quickly shook off her internal reverie.

"She's..." Hermione bit her lip once more and looked up at Ernie, noticing for the first time that his tie was loose and his hair was a mess as though he had just walked through a tornado.

"Why are you looking for her," she said instead.

Ernie folded his arms across his chest.

"I wanted to talk her out of this crazy plan," he huffed running an agitated hand through his ridiculous hair.

"Do you mean about..." she trailed off realising where they were and that they were not safe to speak.

He seemed to catch on and nodded his head.

"Can't understand why she refuses to listen to reason."

"She made the decision on her own," Hermione countered wondering if she was convincing him or herself, "Though we suggested it to her, we left it to her to decide."

He sighed at this and ran both hands through his hair in frustration.

'Well, that answers why his hair looks that way. How long has he been thinking about this.'

"I was on my way to the dungeons before I remembered that she lives in the Gryffindor tower. I was on my way there when I saw her disappear around a corner," he said slowly rubbing his neck, "I just wanted to talk to her...we had a bit of a row."

"Oh," Hermione said trying to look surprised though she already knew that they had been fighting, she resisted the urge to say 'what about' and instead said, "I was following her too, but lost track of her."

He chuckled at this, "Yeah, she's a fast runner."

He shook his head before sighing.

"Guess I'll have to talk to her some other time."

"I'll tell her you were looking for her."

He gave a halfhearted smile before walking off. Hermione watched Ernie leave before turning around and looking at the empty corridor once more. She rubbed her temples as a dull ache returned to her head. Hermione turned and walked to the infirmary, she would just have to ask Lena where she went later tonight, but for now she needed some pain relief for her headache which have become more frequent lately.


She knocked lightly on the hospital door before pushing it open. It was empty. She opened the door up fully and walked inside. She intended to just wait at the nurses's front desk until Madame Pomfrey came back. What she didn't expect was for a large black dog to walk out from the back room. Hermione's mouth fell open and something strange within her begin to claw its way to the surface. She had the strangest urge to walk over and talk to the animal.

She took a step forward reaching a hand out before she even knew what she was doing, the dog just continued to stare at her and if she didn't know better she would have thought that it was smirking at her. But that wasn't possible, dogs didn't smirk.

A sudden noise snapped her back to reality and she felt as though she had been released from some strange spell.

"Oh," Madame Pomfrey said at the open door of the infirmary, "Do you need something dear?"

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but quickly turned back to look at the dog, but it was gone.

Hermione stared at the spot where she was sure she had seen the dog just a moment before. She noticed the nurse watching her curiously though somewhat impatiently.

"Sorry," Hermione apologised quickly when she realised that the nurse was still waiting for a response, "I-um..."

It took her a moment but she was finally able to remember why she was in the infirmary in the first place.

"Could I get some paracetamol?" she only realised after the fact that Madame Pomfrey would have no idea what paracetamol was.

The nurse frowned at her before walking over to her desk and opening a desk drawer.

"Normally," the nurse said as she rummaged through some boxes in the cupboard, "I wouldn't allow muggle medicine but I always keep some on hand for the children who prefer it to potions."

Hermione got the impression that this implied that only first year muggleborn students, on their first week of school were given this option considering the shock of suddenly being thrown into a world immersed in magic.

She took the box of painkillers from the nurse gratefully. Not sure if this meant that she was considered as lost as a first year muggleborn in the nurses eyes or that she was perhaps fond of the other Hermione.

"Thank you," she said before backing out of the room.

She closed the door behind her and sighed, clutching the pills to her chest for a moment before composing herself and making her way back to the dorms.


I've been trying so hard to be myself but the thing is I have no idea who I am. Before all the craziness, I thought I was just someone wanting to pass through life here unnoticed, not cause a ruckus, not be anything to anyone...I had friends, dear friends but there was a part of myself always missing...


"Well that's too bad because we're going there-"

Hermione heard Ron's voice the instant the portrait swung open to reveal the Gryffindor common room.

Hermione had walked into the common to find it partially deserted with only a few students at the far desks studying and Ron in the armchair by the fire, his ginger cat on the armrest, its tail swaying back and forth slowly as it stared at Ron who was talking to someone.

She saw the cat's tail stop moving as it turned its head slowly to stare at her before hissing.

"Watch that mouth of yours before I wash it with soap and we both know how much you love taking a bath."

Another hiss before the cat turned back to look at Ron. It seemed to move its head around dismissively before standing up and jumping off the armrest. She watched it saunter across the room before jumping up and sitting on the window sill of the window opposite, its eyes laser focused on her.

She heard a wry chuckle from Ron and she walked over to Ron.

"I think he doesn't like me," Hermione said after a moment.

"That's just his way," Ron explained a smirk on his face, "He likes to pretend like he hates everyone but really he's just a big ol' softie."

The cat seemed to narrow its eyes at Ron and made a strange noise halfway between a hiss and a dismissive meowing noise before turning and looking out the window.

Ron simply chuckled and turned his head to look up at her.

"Did you find Lena?"

Hermione started slightly at his sudden question.

"How did you -"

"Ah," Ron said looking away from her before continuing, "My spies are everywhere."

She couldn't help but laugh at the conspiratorial tone in his voice.

"No I didn't" Hermione said. She wondered for a brief moment if she should tell Ron about what she saw but decided against it, it was probably just another hallucination and she really didn't want to burden Ron with her problems.

Ron nodded his head in response as he watched his cat walk back over to him and sit on the coffee table. They stared at each other for an unnervingly long time before Ron sniffed and stood up.

"Come on then bossy boots" he said and Hermione thought for a moment that he was talking to her but realised he was talking to his cat because he walked past her and towards the door without a second glance, "I'll see you later then Hermione."

Hermione waved goodbye as he disappeared his cat following close behind.

She stood there for a moment longer before walking up to Lena's room. It was empty, so whatever Lena was doing would probably take some time. She walked over and poured herself a cup of water from the jug on the bedside table.

She popped two paracetamol tablets into her mouth before downing the glass of water.

The glass slipped from her fingers and she saw it slowly descend to the floor but just before it shattered on the hardwood floor it froze.

Hermione gulped and stared around the room.

There was no duplicate Hermione standing in front of her this time and she was just about to release a sigh of relief when her chest suddenly clenched and she wanted to reach up and somehow stop the pain. It was a frightening feeling, a pulsing ache before she felt as though her heart had stopped all together. Her body became rigid as though her blood had stopped with everything else in the room.

A sudden cold sensation rose from the pit of her stomach. The cold sensation slowly rose from within her, it seeped through every part of her, like long fingers clawing at her insides, as though it would rip her apart to get out. She gasped for air she could not, her eyes straining under the pressure.

"Grundwæg ǽrendsecg interjnú beorn," the same voice spoke to her again and Hermione wanted to cry out at the pain.

She could feel the coldness spreading and she tried to close her eyes tightly against the pain. She was surprised when she was able to do so and when she slowly opened them once more she almost screamed.

She was outside, the wind whipping around her and she was high - very very high.

She tried to look around at her surroundings but found she couldn't move her body, she only seemed to use her eyes.

"That was a bit careless of Sirus."

Hermione was startled to hear Ron's voice close to her. No. She looked around her once more. She didn't just hear Ron near her. She heard Ron's voice coming from within her. A sinking feeling began to press upon her. She didn't have time to comprehend what was happening when her thoughts were suddenly taken over by another persons. By Ron's thoughts.

Ron stared out at the scenery. The wind was picking up and he could see the dark clouds rolling across the hills towards the school. He watched the people below, like tiny ants heading back inside though a few people seem to be dawdling, unafraid of the impending darkness headed their way.

He felt rather than saw the presence beside him.

"How long do you plan to ignore her?"

No response but he could almost feel the stiffening back and disdain from his companions eyes and face.

He chuckled.

"When we first met..." he trailed off for a moment recalling the day they all had first met, "I'd like to think she chose you because you reminded her of me, both ignored and in the shadows of family, friends...never given the chance to make our mark, but I know the real reason was because she couldn't bear to let you stay there without anyone to take care of you."

He felt his throat tighten at the thought.

"She's always been so compassionate and kind even to those whom logic tells you not to trust. Maybe," he paused and picked idly at some moss on the roof he and his friend sat on, "Maybe that's why she wanted to be my friend."

A genuine laugh escaped his lips then.

"And to think how much we hated each other at first."

A derisive sigh escaped his companion and Ron turned to look at him.

"What? I thought rain makes you nostalgic?"

Silence.

"Well," Ron turned back to look at the sky, "I guess its not raining just yet."

Another exasperated sigh from his companion before he stretched.

"If you're going to continue mopping like this, I'm going to go back inside before I get wet."

Ron smirked and looked over at Crookshanks.

"Thought you weren't talking to me," Ron said reaching over to rub the cat behind the ears.

The cat let him pat him but still had a look of disdain when he turned to look at Ron.

"I'm not supposed to encourage you," the cat replied before lifting a paw up to clean himself, after a moment he turned back to look at Ron, "You're supposed to take your medication and wean yourself off that magic."

Ron groaned and rolled his eyes.

"That's why Hermione left you to me, she knows that you can take her place in nagging me."

Crookshanks sat up straight on the root and glared at him, he wasn't even sure that cat's could do that but if any cat could glare at you despite the tangle of ginger fur it would be Crookshanks.

"You and I both know that that - " the cat hissed and the fur on his back raised slightly, "That child is not Hermione."

Ron kicked at the moss near his feet as the first drop of rain fell on his hand.

Crookshanks was already jumping down and slinking back inside.

Ron stayed for a moment longer until the rain began to fall quickly and he reluctantly got down off the roof. He landed expertly and without much effort. He knew Crookshanks was right and he should stop depending on his magic but it was so much like second nature that he sometimes forgot to turn it off.

He stood up straight and realised that he was no longer getting wet.

Hermione stood beside him, holding her umbrella above him.

She didn't say anything but just gave a small smile.

Hermione was horrified.

She was staring at herself - she was staring at herself from Ron's eyes. What the hell was happening.

The Hermione in front of her looked at Ron, but it seemed as though she was looking directly at her.

'Caillech Bheur,' the voice echoed in her head and even though the girl in front of her didn't move her mouth Hermione knew that she had just spoken directly to her.

She didn't understand what was happening but whatever it was, it seemed very important to the other Hermione. Wait. Other Hermione? Was this girl who was looking at her, at Ron at this moment...could she be...

A cold sensation gripped at her and once more she felt her own consciousness pushed to one side as Ron's dominant one took over.

When Hermione looked at him like that he could almost forget Crookshanks words. That this wasn't Hermione. In that moment, the way Hermione was smiling at him, a warm tender smile, he could almost make himself to believe that this was the girl he had fallen in love with - that he was still probably in love with despite everything - or perhaps because of everything. He saw her move slightly as though she were about to reach out and touch him but she stopped herself at the last minute and instead took a slow calming breath.

"Hi."

Ron froze.

One word.

One word and he yet something about the way she spoke, the way she looked at him, the way she held herself. None of the usual self doubt, anger and guilt that she had been carrying around with ever since she had found about her memory loss.

He stared at her for a long moment and he opened his mouth but not trusting himself, not believing that it could be true he bit down on his lip and simply stood with the girl in front of him in the pouring rain sharing a single umbrella - no, he realised suddenly, she was holding above him but she was getting drenched.

He reached out and grabbed her before he stop himself and pulled them both out from the rain and towards the exit.

He felt the hairs on his arm rise when he touched her and he turned to look at the girl walking behind him.

'Don't be stupid. Just your head playing tricks on you again.'

Whoever she was, he couldn't help himself from caring and worrying about her. He supposed he had always felt this way about this tiny incredible girl. It bothered him how much her small struggles and attempts to make her own way rubbed everyone around them the wrong way. They probably just saw it as Hermione's typical stubborness but he knew better. It wasn't easy having to fight against yourself every day and he knew that better than anyone else. He wanted more than anything to tell her that he understood that he didn't blame her and he wished desperately that he could be the one to tell her what she seemed to crave to know. But if he knew anything about her - if he knew anything at all - was that she would want to find out on her own and on the off chance she did ask him...well he would be there to help her and make her understand.

He couldn't hate someone for struggling to find themselves again especially not after everything he had gone through himself. He gave a grateful smile and walked back inside, his hand stopped for a moment when he looked into the glass door and saw Hermione back at him. She didn't look sad, or happy, she was just watching him.

He shook his head and reached inside his pocket to check if he had brought his medication with him. His fingers clenched around the bottle of pills like a lifeline.

He looked again and he only saw his own reflection staring back at him.

"You should take a bath, you must be freezing."

He turned from the door and looked at the Hermione in front of him.

She reached up and pushed some hair out of his eyes, her fingers lingered for a moment and a sad look crossed her face.

His heart began to race.

"Her-Hermione -" he said in barely a whisper as he looked searchingly into those familiar eyes, those eyes that couldn't hide anything from him.

She dropped her hand to her side and smiled up at him. He blinked and blinked again when she was still standing in front of him.

The way she was looking at him now. It reminded him so much of the way his Hermione had looked at him on their last night together when they -

"Aren't you cold?" she asked him after a moment.

"Yeah," he said in response but not really hearing her words.

A stray raindrop fell from her hair and made a slow path down her face, slowly - hesitantly he reached out and wiped the droplet from her face, his fingers barely touching her skin as he pushed the water aside.

She looked up at him and his hand froze, his hand cupping her cheek.

"Are you alright?" she said after a moment, concern reflected in her eyes, "When Crookshanks returned to the Gryffindor tower without you, I began to worry."

Ron stiffened and pulled his hand away.

"You did," he said cautiously.

"You enjoy his company then?" she said rather than answer his question, "I'm glad."

"He's a good listener," he explained frowning slightly at her words.

"I'm sure," she said still looking at him in concern, "But are you alright?"

"Fine," he said and he wasn't even lying - not really. He was as well as could be expected.

"I should go," he said after a moment when a niggling feeling began to scratch inside his head, "Don't want to get a cold."

"Of course," she said and they made their way down the winding staircase, they reached the bottom of the staircase far too quickly for either of their likings because they lingered there together for a moment.

He looked over at her when she opened her mouth as though to speak. She closed it a moment later before finally speaking.

"Take care of yourself - and Ron..."

Ron turned to look at her.

"I hope you know," she said softly reaching over to squeeze his arm, "I'm here if you need me."

"Thank you," he said in response not knowing what else to say.

He looked at her once more before turning to head to the prefects bathroom.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Hermione watching him leave.

There have been times when I feel like the girl I was before, the girl they tell me I was, takes over my body, my senses...and it frightens me. Because in those moments, I feel like the person I am now will disappear.

Hermione gasped and pulled back. She felt as though she had just been pulled out from a cold stormy ocean. She fell backwards and landed hard on the wood floor.

She tried to catch her breath as she looked around the room. She was still in Lena's room.

But how was that possible - what the hell had just happened?

She reached up in surprise when she felt warm tears sliding down her already wet cheeks.

Why was she crying?

She slowly stood up from the floor, she stopped when she noticed a strange movement in the corner of the room. She paused for a moment before taking a tenative step towards the mirror.

"Lumos," she whispered lighting the darkened room.

She walked over to where she had seen the movement and chided herself for being foolish when she realised that it was just her reflection. She turned to move but she stopped and turned back to look at her reflection. She could have sworn for second there that her reflection hadn't moved when she had...almost like...

She stepped over to the mirror and leaned over to look at it. The reflection was nothing more than that, when she moved her head it did too. Hermione sighed, these strange hallucinations were starting to worry her.

She sat down at the dresser table and stared at herself in the mirror.

"What was that?" she wondered to herself, "Another memory - but no, it felt different this time..."

She bit her lip and stared at her reflection. What was it that Ron had seen in her eyes, in her face that made his behaviour towards her change ever so slightly? She thought back but couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"Our relationship isn't forced," the words came out of her mouth before she even realised it and she jolted at the sound of her own voice - because for a second she had felt a strange presence within her. Almost like -

She looked at the mirror once more before turning to survey the room to assure herself that she was alone in the room. She felt a uncomfortable crawling sensation beneath her skin that sent shivers through her. She swallowed and stood up from the table. She decided to take a walk around the grounds to clear her head.

She made it to the common room before realizing that it was raining heavily. She stared at the window and the dark clouds rolling towards the school.

"Are you going somewhere?"

Hermione turned to find Harry standing beside her, he too was looking out the window.

"Uh -"

"Didn't you just get back?"

Hermione frowned at him. She had been in Lena's room for most of the day and hadn't seem him at all.

"You're still wet and you wanted to go back out there?" he continued without waiting for a response from her.

Hermione stared at him a moment before looking down and realising that she was indeed wet.

She reached up and held her temple as an aching pain returned.

"I feel sick," she said suddenly almost tripping over the table in front of them before catching herself.

"Are you -" was all Harry managed before Hermione had bolted back up the stairs.

She managed to hold off until she had made it to Lena's bathroom before she threw up into the toilet.

Hermione groaned before laying down to rest her head on the cold floor as another wave of pain washed over her.


Hermione heard the voices below her as she paced the length of her room. She had already said her goodbyes and told the Order that she was going to lie down. After all the excitement of the last few hours she really didn't feel up to anymore agonising and rehashing of the events. It was partly true but the reality was that she wanted some time alone to decide if she really wanted to do this. Time was running out. They would be leaving tomorrow and she knew that the spells they had cast would not be enough she needed to make sure that nothing would happen to Ron and she knew that he wouldn't be able to relax if he couldn't ensure that she was safe.

She moved to lock the door before walking over to the bed. She leaned over and used all her strength to push it aside, not that it took that much strength, one of the benefits of their magic.

She stared at the floorboards and swallowed nervously. Did she really want to do this? She had been arguing with herself over the merits of what she was about to do for days now. She knew that it was the only way to keep them all safe but she wanted to talk to Ron about it.

She began to pace the room once more.

If she did this and something went wrong. No. She shook her head in determination. This was the only way she knew that would allow her to return to Hogwarts, the only way to stay by Ron side and protect Harry, should he need it. It was something she had to decide on her own. She would make Ron understand, besides it wouldn't be forever, just for a few months until they stopped sniffing around - just until they stopped interrogating her.

She nodded her head to affirm her decision. She had to do this.

She moved over to her beside table and opened the drawer. She pulled out the small silver dagger and the piece of white chalk. She put the dagger in her pocket and knelt to the ground quickly drawing the symbols on the floor. After double-checking that she had drawn the symbols correctly she pulled out the bag of salt she had pilfered from the kitchen earlier that evening while no one was looking. With shaking fingers she ripped open the bag and hurriedly traced the chalk lines on the floor.

She started when the french doors suddenly blew open but she pushed her fears aside for a moment so that she could finish this. She stepped inside the centre of the knotted symbol and pulled out the knife from her pocket.

She bit her lip and stared at the knife in her hand.

This was it. This was the last chance to back out.

She looked behind her at the locked door. Every instinct told her to run out of the room and to Ron. But another part of her, the part that couldn't - wouldn't ever allow anything or anyone harm the most important person to her won out and she turned back. She stood facing the open french doors. the white curtains billowed around as the strong winds blew into the room.

"Now or never," she said before wincing as she cut her palm with the small dagger.

She dropped the dagger to the floor and the instant the fist drop of blood fell to the floor the french doors were pulled form its hinges and disappeared into the night sky as sudden storm of air burst into the room almost toppling Hermione to the floor but she stood her ground. She watched the blood dripping from her hand collect in a small pool before it moved to the salt lines at her feet. The blood soaked into the white salt and she stared entranced as the lines around her slowly turned from white to deep blood red. She swallowed, took a deep breath before shouting at the top of her lungs,

"Druantia! Branwen, Cred, Cerridwen, Harimella, Uathach!"

With each word she spoke a deafening lighting strike tore through the night sky.

"Hermione! HERMIONE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she turned at the sound of Ron's voice, she saw the door handle shaking and crashing sounds as though he was trying to break the door down.

'I'm sorry Ron, even if you hate me, I have to do this. I will protect you even if it means I will never see you again.' she vowed to herself before turning around to face the darkness.


Hermione felt something cool being pressed to her face and found to her surprise Ron knelling beside her. He was wiping down her face with a cool towel.

"Hi," she said hoarsley, her throat felt sore after throwing up a few hours earlier.

He attempted a smile but his face remained serious. It took her a moment to realise that this wasn't a dream and that Ron had indeed managed to find a way into the girl's dormitory.

"How'd you get in here?" she questioned pulling herself up off the floor so that she was leaning against the opposite wall of the bathroom.

"Servants entrance," he said before standing up and washing the towel.

"How'd you know I would be here?"

"Harry told me you had looked ill earlier," Ron continued his back still turned towards her and he was taking his time rinsing and re-washing that towel. He eventually placed it on the towel rack to dry but gripped his hands on the counter rather than turn to look at her.

So he had found her unconscious on the floor. A sinking feeling enveloped her and she stood up from the ground and took a tentative step towards him. His face was down so she couldn't even see what expression he had on his face at the moment but knew that he must be hurting.

She reached out to touch his back, paused before gritting her teeth and placing her palm on his back.

"Are you alright?" she questioned in concern rubbing circles on his back in what she hoped was a soothing manner.

No answer.

"I'm okay," she explained when he didn't respond, "I think I might have a bit of a cold is all, but I feel fine now."

"I should go," he said turning to avoid her gaze before walking out of the bathroom.

She followed him and it was a good thing too because he stumbled and fell to the floor after a few steps.

"Ron!" she grabbed his shoulders and turned him over.

He was breathing heavily and he was sweating even though his body felt cool to the touch. She pulled out her wand and levitated him to Lena's bed. After tucking him and checking the fire was blazing she pulled on her cloak and decided to get some medicine from the infirmary before her fingers wrapped around the pills in her pocket. She pulled out the box of paracetamol that she had gotten from Madame Pomfrey. She threw the box onto Lena's desk deciding she wasn't going to risk whatever happened to her happen to Ron. She turned to leave to find Ginny or perhaps Lena to watch Ron while she went to the infirmary when a sound caught her attention.

The window was open, the curtains were drenched with the rain that was pouring into the room. She frowned, she didn't remember opening the window. She hurriedly moved to close them almost tripped on a broom on the floor. She picked it up and stared at it before looking at the window then at Ron.

'Ron, you - ' she sighed and placed the broomstick against the wall and closed the window once more.

She walked over to the bed and checked on Ron, pausing to wipe down his forehead with her handkerchief before leaving to find someone to watch him.

She found Ginny in the common room and though the red head had at first seemed about to walk away from her she stopped when Hermione explained what happened to Ron. The girl nodded and hurried up the stairs.

"What's happening?" Harry said grabbing her arm as he watched Ginny run up the stairs.

Hermione bit back the frustration she felt, she didn't have time to explain to people right now, she needed to get Ron medicine. She quickly explained the situation to Harry and they both decided to go to the nurses office to get help.

The nurse wasn't there and Hermione almost screamed in frustration before she saw the glass cabinet near the nurses desk. She ignored Harry's questions and pursued the potion cabinet. Luckily the nurse was meticulous and kept all her potions labeled. She grabbed a few of the small purple bottles, 'for colds and fevers' and ran out the room, Harry running after her.

"...and they say I'm reckless..." she thought she heard Harry mumble from behind her but she really didn't feel like listening to him at the moment.

They made it back to the room and practically broke the door down when they pushed it open again. She made it two steps into the room before freezing.

Lena was sitting on the bed beside Ron wiping his face with a wet towel. Ginny walked over and handed a flask to Lena. She pulled Ron up so that his head was resting on her lap and forced him to drink the potion.

Ginny looked up and saw them first. Her face broke into a smile.

"Lena came back and made a quick potion," she explained, "she was amazing, I've never seen anyone brew anything that fast before."

Hermione gripped the potions in her hands tightly. She watched Lena place Ron's head back onto the pillow.

"What's that?" Ginny questioned walking over to them to close the door.

Hermione looked down at her hands before quickly

"Nothing," she said quickly placing the vials behind her back, she felt completely foolish for acting so irrationally while Lena had been able to handle the situation without a second thought.

"Uh Hermione," Harry said from beside her but she just shrugged her shoulders at him.

"I'll get some soup for him to eat when he wakes up," she said before backing out the door ignoring the concerned look on Harry's face.


Lance,

I realised that I do care about him, I care about him a lot but it feels wrong of me to feel anything more than friendship towards him. I feel as though I would be betraying something inside me - some basic instinct if I would stop trying to fight it and admit how I feel about him...


Hermione stared at the wooden door to Lena's room. She debated whether to knock but then decided against it in case Ron was asleep. She pushed open the door and stepped inside, keeping her face hidden from the others but she could feel Harry's eyes following her in concern.

She walked over to Lena's desk and placed the soup on the table before turning to leave.

"Love, where you goin'?"

Hermione froze mid step and turned to stare at the person who had just spoken.

Ron was sitting up in the bed, he was pale but he looked better. He was looking directly at her.

'Love? did he just -'

She stared at Ron speechless.

"Here have some soup," Ginny said suddenly startling everyone in the room but it gave Harry an opportunity to walk over to her.

Harry leaned over and whispered so that Ron couldn't hear them.

"He's a bit out of it," Harry explained, "I think he thinks he's at Shell cottage."

"Ah-" Hermione said simply looking over Harry shoulder to look at Ron who was happily eating his soup, he smiled at her and she returned it. She felt a warmth spread within her when he looked at her.

"Come here 'Mione," Ron waved her over and patted the bed.

She looked at Harry, then Ginny and they both nodded their heads at her. She walked over to the bed and sat down beside Ron.

"H-how are you feeling," she said cursing the sound of her shaking voice.

Ron reached over and cupped her face startling her.

"You look a bit peekish too, want some of this soup?"

She shook her head mutely, going for the non-verbal route in case she said something she shouldn't.

She caught Lena's eyes when the girl walked out of the bathroom with a steaming bowl of water and a towel. Ron stared at Lena as she approached him.

"Ugh..." he groaned grabbing at his head, dropping the spoon in his hand in the process and it clattered to the floor.

Hermione reached over and took the soup away from his hand before it fell too, placing it on the bedside table.

She moved closer to Ron and reached out to see what was wrong. She stopped whens he saw Lena do the same thing. The two girls stared at each other for a moment. Hermione felt something inside her grow hot with anger.

'Leannán Beorn!' the voice growled from within her as Ron's eyes swung to hers.

She reached over to grab Ron's hand.

"You alright?" she said shifting to look at Ron more carefully, from the corner of her eyes she saw Lena step back.

Ron reached up and placed his hand over hers but then he pushed her hand away. She stared at him in confusion before he pushed away the bed covers and stood up shakily.

"I'm fine," Ron said his back towards her, "I'm going back to my room."

Ron moved a few steps but didn't make it very far before sinking to his knees.

Hermione jumped over the bed and knelt beside him.

"Don't be silly, you need to rest," Hermione said helping him up, "Stay here for a little longer."

Ron turned to stare at her. His eyes searching hers, for what she didn't know but the next moment he turned away and his face was cast in shadows.

"I'd be more comfortable in my own bed," he said before looking over at Harry, "Give us a hand mate."

Harry was by his side the next moment helping Ron to his feet and out the door. Hermione watched Ginny leave with her brother though she stopped to thank Lena before she left.

"You are upset?"

Hermione turned to look at Lena once the others had left.

"No," she answered simply, "I-I...thank you for looking after him."

She didn't know what else to say and there were too many thoughts swimming in her head at the moment, she just needed to get out of there. She left the room and went for a walk to clear her head.


That feeling. That shaking, all encompassing feeling when he looks in my eyes with love for his Hermione. It makes me angry and yet I hate myself at the same time. I'm so angry because I want him to look at me, the girl I am now, the imperfect girl struggling so hard for his - for their approval and love me, only me...and yet I hate myself because I don't deserve his love. I don't deserve anything from him after everything he has suffered at my - at her - our hands...

But still...I...


"What's that?"

Hermione started at the whispered voice behind her and she turned to find Ron looking over her shoulder at a book she was perusing in one of the more secluded areas of the school library.

She closed it instantly and regretted it when they both coughed and choked a bit on the dust that flew up from the musty old book.

"That's disgusting," Ron said wheezing slightly before reaching for the book but Hermione hid it behind her back.

"You're feeling better than?" she said, she hand't seen him since he left Lena's room yesterday, not sure if her presence would be welcome and thought it best to let him rest.

"Yeah, thanks to you," Ron said his head moving from side to side as he stared at her.

"I didn't do much," she replied looking at him in confusion, before brushing a hand over her face self-conciously, did she have something on her face.

"I wouldn't call what you did nothing."

Hermione just frowned at him.

"If you mean the soup, that was nothing. It's a good thing we have Lena around to help us now, she's practically a nurse."

Ron titled his head to the side and watched her carefully a confused expression on his face.

"Wha-" he stopped himself before turning his attention to the book in her hands.

"Yeah," Ron said slowly though his there was a strange tilt to his voice as he spoke, she ignored it when he made another grab for the book behind her back before giving up.

She had spent the morning searching for something to help her. The other Hermione had said something to her in another language, it sounded familiar and she felt as though she had heard it before.

'úp ábregdan, inweorpan!' and again when she had been with Ron, she had heard that voice speak in a language she didn't understand and yet...somehow it felt so familar to her.

She could almost feel the answer just out of reach, if she could only find something about the language, it might help her figure out what Hermione had done to them, to her - oh hell.

She reached up and rubbed her temples. This was getting more confusing by the second. She quickly composed herself when Ron stopped coughing and was looking at her curiously.

"What are you doing here by the way?"

"Just some research," she said blowing a stray hair out of her face, she tried to sound flippant wondering if this would be one of the occasions when Ron wouldn't be able to read her expressions, she hoped it was because she and Hermione were different people and so their thought processes were different but she dismissed the thought when a smirk appeared on Ron's face.

Instead of grabbing the book from her hands however he stepped back, considered her for a moment as though searching for something in her eyes. She didn't know what but after a moment a disappointed look crossed his face before he turned to move away down the aisle. Apparently he hadn't come just to snoop on her but was here doing research of his own.

"I-I wanted to talk to you about something," she said haltingly as she raced to keep up with his long strides.

He stopped and turned to her, passing a hand through his hair as he leaned against the bookshelves. She stared at his hair a moment until she heard Ron clear his throat and she realised that she had been staring. She felt her cheeks heat up and looked away quickly.

"Well, I was just wondering, that spell that Hermione cast," she said lowering her voice considerably and as an indirect result causing Ron to lean forward to hear her, she broke off when he did so before quickly recollecting herself, "Harry told me she left some notes about what she did...c-could I have a look at them."

She swallowed when she finally looked up from their feet to find herself staring at his throat, she pushed down the strange urge to lean forward and - Hermione shook herself mentally and forced herself to look at Ron in the eyes.

His expression turned serious and contemplative.

"I - yeah I think I still have them," Ron said a strange expression crossing his face.

He stopped and looked at her for a long moment before looking out the window and saying,

"They're at Harry's house, but I won't have be able to get them till I go home for the Easter holidays -"

"Oh right," Hermione said quickly realising that next week the students would be going home for the holidays, "Well I could come and pick them up, just tell me where he -"

"Yeah I mean...yeah I could..." Ron rubbed the back of his neck eyes darting from her to the window again, "Or you could come stay with us."

Hermione frowned not quite understanding.

"At Harry's?"

"Yeah, well you know, you could look over the notes without -"

"I would take care of it," Hermione cut him off beginning to feel annoyed that he felt he couldn't trust with what was essentially her own notes and work, "I'd just take a look, see if they could help me get my memory back...If you didn't want to show you could have just -"

"What? What...that's not," Ron said before he heard his own voice echo and remembered where they were, he lowered his voice and said, "Bleeding hell Hermione, just was askin' if you wanted to stay over for easter, don't make a national case of it."

Hermione faltered and her eyes widened.

She opened her mouth to respond but them promptly closed it again. She looked up at Ron suspiciously and saw he was determinedly looking anywhere but at her.

She bit down a smile.

"Thank you," her voice soft and half disbelieving, "I would love to stay with you."

She saw Ron swallow before he had that familiar lopsided smirk and she saw the confidence return as he straightened his back.

"Well, you know with my family, not with me but still -"

He broke off and smiled brilliantly at her causing Hermione to avoid his eyes this time though she felt a strange giddy sensation flutter inside her.

"Well..." Ron said clearing his throat before stepping back and Hermione felt the bubble between them pop, "I'll give the details later."

She nodded and smiled shyly at him.

"Okay then, bye," he said before turning and walking off.

A warm smile spread across her face and resisted the urge to spin around or dance on the spot or shout with joy and she really to have received some award for the self restraint she showed.

Then she shook herself, she was acting ridiculous...not like he was saying that just so they could spend more time together over the holidays. It was like he said just an easier way for her to have access to the information she had wanted off of him.

Still all the rationalisng she did, did nothing to dampen the fluttering sensation in her stomach or stop her smiling all the way back to the common room.


Lance,

I admit it. I was jealous, still am. Why do I feel this way? I love my friends, Lavender, Lena, they have been my solace, my companions when I felt so lost and alone and downtrodden and yet when they are within his gaze I feel so - so frustrated. Frustrated at my own weaknesses, my own cowardice that I cannot admit to how I feel...


"Where'd you run off to?" she asked the instant Lena returned, looking up from the book in her lap.

Lena walked over and sat down on the bed, Hermione turned in the armchair by the fire to look at her.

"Are you alright?"

"I went to - " Lena stopped when she noticed Hermione massaging her temples, "Are you alright?"

"Has this terrible headache all day," she said in response, closing her eyes when another shot of pain hit her. She had avoided the muggle painkillers ever since yesterday when they caused her to collapse and have some kind of strange mental breakdown.

She could hear Lena move around the room. She cracked an eye open and saw Lena cut a few leaves of one of her plants. She brought the cuttings over to the fireplace and placed them inside the small kettle. Hermione watched the girl bring the kettle over to the fire.

Some time later Lena was handing her a cup of some strange liquid.

"What is it?" she said trying to stop herself from gagging at the smell.

"It will help," Lena said and when Hermione didn't move to take the cup she added, "Trust me."

Hermione looked up at the girl in front her and relaxed.

She took the cup and after a moments hesitation swallowed the entire contents. It smelt awful at first but once she had swallowed it, she found it had a sweet citrus taste to it which wasn't all that bad. She smiled up at Lena.

Lena's face swam in front of her.

'What's happening?' she had wanted to say but it came out as "Wazaaparen?

Lena just reached over and took the cup from her before leading her over to the bed.

"Sleep now, you'll feel better tomorrow."

Hermione didn't have the energy to resist and the instant her head hit the pillows she was asleep.


Hermione awoke with a start.

She stared at the ceiling above her head.

Slowly she sat up and realised she was sleeping in Lena's bed. The sun was already high in sky and she wondered how long she had been asleep for. It felt like years. She pushed aside the bedsheets and stumbled out of bed. She groggily made her way to the bathroom, pushing the door open with the little energy she had she walked over to the sink and washed her face.

She grabbed a towel, ignoring that the towel was green and had a silver snake emblem stitched into the corner. She wiped her face a few times before dropping the towel to look at her reflection.

"We need help," she told her reflection. She screamed when the reflection staring back at her suddenly became dark, narrowing its eyes at her.

"úp ábregdan, inweorpan!" her reflection shouted back at her, its eyes furious.

Hermione covered her mouth with her hand to stop herself from screaming but she continued to stare wide-eyed at the reflection staring back at her.

"Are you alright?"

Hermione gasped and stumbled into the sink when a voice spoke from behind her. For a moment she thought that the reflection in the mirror had become corporeal again but when she looked up at the mirror, her reflection was back to normal and she could see Lena staring at her.

She turned around and Lena cocked her head to the side slightly before repeating her question.

"Are you alright?"

Hermione realised that Lena was staring at her strangely, she looked down and realised that she had somehow changed clothes, she was wearing a slytherin uniform. Lena's slytherin uniform. When did she - did Lena change her clothes for her? But for what purpose.

"F-f-fine..." she managed to stammer putting aside her strange atire for a moment to orient herself once more.

"How's you headache?"

"Be-better," Hermione said swallowing nervously to check her reflection once more before leaving the bathroom. It was true after all. Lena's tea was the first medication she had had which hadn't brought about more flashbacks or hallucinations and she definitely felt well rested.

Lena nodded but continued to watch Hermione as she returned to the room and began fixing the bed. After a few tense moments she heard the scrap of the desk chair on the floor and Hermione relaxed. She turned to ask Lena if she had any clothes she wanted her to take care of but found the young witch staring out the window distractedly a quill between her fingers.

"Are you alright?" Hermione questioned her friend walking over to her.

Lena frowned at her and Hermione's eyes widened in surprise, she had never seen Lena show that much overt reaction to anything anyone except Ernie said.

'Ah.'

"Sorry, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she amended quickly grabbing a few stray shirts off the armchair and was about to leave the room when Lena spoke.

"He's right after all."

"Huh?" Hermione said turning to look at Lena.

Lena took a deep breath before continuing.

"He really seems to be the only one who can scold me, with anyone else I can just ignore them but with one word from him..." Lena took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, "I am glad that I can meet more people at the D.A. This way I can finally make a clean break between Milly and I."

"A clean break?" Hermione repeated.

Lena simply nodded before turning to look at her.

"I depended on him when I was scared or lonely and I really can't offer him much in return - what kind of one-sided love is that?" Lena said looking away from Hermione once more, "Now, I'm just tired - "

Hermione considered Lena's words.

"Why are you ashamed of your feelings?" Hermione asked her friend, "Whether you love him or not is your decision. If you are just loving him from afar you're not hurting anyone. To be able to love like that, being selfless and selfish at the same time - what a wondering thing that would be."

She tried to smile at her own words but the smile died on her lips.

"To be loved by someone when you know you are underserving of their love, that is truly tiring," Hermione continued, "You can never match up to their exceptions, no matter how much you want to. Every day, every moment is difficult to live through because you want so much to be everything they want you to be but you know you cannot."

She looked up to find that Lena was still staring out the window and she wondered if she was just being ignored.

'All the better,' Hermione thought to herself, 'I was just talking rubbish anyway.'

She sighed and turned to leave.

"You still don't understand," Lena said, her voice just barely above a whisper and Hermione wondered if she had just imagined it.

She turned and left the room since Lena looked like she just wanted to be left alone. Most times Lena did like to be left alone but Hermione usually figured out ways to distract her friend or ask her questions about her school work. Most of things Lena told her seemed to click in her mind as though they were missing puzzle pieces being lifted from some dark recess of her mind and her soothed her to hear them. But she hoped, more importantly that Lena would come to feel more comfortable around her and confide in her more. She headed to the servants stairs making a mental note to make some of Lena's favorite tea and bring some nice sponge cake back to the room as a form of comfort food.


There are days when times passes by without me realising it and before I know it days ,weeks have passed and nothing had changed. I think - I think that when I was with him it was different. I don't remember it all but the things I remember...the moments feel slow as though in those perfect little moments we slowed down time and all that existed was him and I...

Or maybe that's just my dreams not my memories...its hard to tell the difference now...


She balanced the tray with one hand and pushed open the entrance to the common room open. Some of the students were returning from class and the common room was quite full at the moment which was why she couldn't walk over to where Ron and Harry were sitting over a chessboard and talk to them. She wanted to ask them both about her hallucinations if they were really that. She was terrified that they would think she was insane but she had to find out if it was just her that was affected. After all wasn't Ron taking some form of prescription medication for whatever happened at Shell cottage? She chewed on her bottom lip as she passed the table where the boys sat. Harry was staring at the board in deep concentration but Ron looked up in time to see her and she saw a twinkle in his eyes as he put his hands behind his head completely at ease.

She was a few steps up the stairs when she heard the crunching of chess pieces fighting.

"Checkmate," she heard Ron say before Harry groaned and complained that they should be practicing not inside wasting their time.

"Chess is not a waste of time," Ron said indignantly causing her to giggle as the argument between the two friends faded as she ascended the staircase.

She pushed open the door to find Lena at her dresser drawer brushing her hair. One side of her hair was already plaited into a braid which fell over her shoulder and she was currently working on doing the same to the other side of her hair.

"Oh," Hermione said placing the tea and cake on the desk, "You look cute."

It was true. Clearly this D.A. meeting meant more to her than Lena had let on.

Lena stopped and looked at Hermione before putting her brush down and untying her hair.

"No, what are you doing?" she said instantly rushing over to Lena, "You looked nice."

Lena made a strange movement with her shoulders and Hermione wasn't adept as Ernie was to understand what that meant.

They clearly had more progress to make with Lena.

"What's wrong?" she asked her friend in concern now, "Are you nervous about the meeting?"

Lena didn't reply and looked like she was reverting to her natural instinct of keeping her thoughts inside. Hermione didn't want to push her, she hoped that if she wanted to confide in her she would do so when she was ready.

"I made some tea and brought some cake for you," Hermione said gestering to the tray on the desk.

Lena nodded but didn't reply.

"Um..."

"I would like to be alone," Lena cut her off and Hermione looked at her friend in concern.

"If you're sure."

Another nod.

Hermione bit back a sigh and walked out of the room but not before saying quickly,

"Please drink the tea before it cools."

She wasn't sure if Lena heard her as she was staring at her reflection with a strange expression on her face.

Hermione closed the door and slumped her shoulders. She had wanted to comfort Lena but it looked like that she wanted to be left alone for now. She supposed that when it came to Lena, not unlike Ron she liked to be left alone to think and cool down before dealing with a situation.

She turned to walk down the stairs but froze when she saw Ginny walking up the stairs. The ginger-haired girl was too distracted flipping through a magazine to notice Hermione until they were only meter apart.

Ginny dropped the magazine to her side and the smile disappeared from her face. They stood facing each other for a moment before Ginny walked past Hermione.

"When you told me to stay away from your brother, that was for his sake not mine wasn't it?"

Silence.

Hermione turned to face her but Ginny still had her back to Hermione.

She was about to give up and walk away, she didn't want to provoke her friend either. She just missed her.

"You think that hearing a few tid-bits from Harry makes you an expert does it?" Ginny said tightly, "Well it doesn't, not until you lived it, not until you watch your brother struggling with some unknown monster and being unable to help."

Hermione remained silent. Ginny was right after all and she really couldn't defend herself.

"You are so patient and compassionate with other people, even someone like Helena, a Slytherin and yet you treat my brother who has only ever supported you and been a good friend to you so horribly - maybe not directly but your actions have ended up hurting the one person who you told me you loved the most in all the world."

Ginny finally turned to look at her face to face.

"You want to know why I was so close to you during these last few months? Yes, it was nice pretending that you were the old Hermione but more important than that, I had to make sure what kind of person you are - whether I could trust you anymore. You think a few days of not speaking to me are bad? If you ever dared to set foot in our house or anyone else from my family saw you what kind of welcome do you think you will get?"

Hermione bowed her head and stared at the floor, her throat tightening as she listened to Ginny's words.

"I don't know what to do," Hermione confessed, "I don't know what to do to make it better for him, for all of you. I just -"

"You can start," Ginny cut Hermione off, "By stop playing with his emotions, one minute you're all over him the next you shouting at him."

'She wanted to say that that was a misunderstanding, that she was only upset and confused when she saw Lavender with Ron at Hogsmeade but Ginny already knew that and even she didn't think that excused her behaviour towards Ron.'

The door opening caught both their attentions and Lena stared at them from the doorway.

"From what Weasley tells me they have always been like that, its a trademark of their relationship, why is it different now?"

Ginny gaped at Lena.

"You were eavesdropping?"

"No," Lena said with a straight face, "I can just hear you from my inside my room."

"You could have cast an impenetrable charm or something," Ginny said in disbelief.

"Why?" Lena said completely straight-faced, "I'm not the one being loud."

Ginny looked at Hermione and then they both burst out laughing.

But Ginny quickly recovered and the smile faded from her face.

"I-I miss talking to you," Hermione admitted to her friend.

Ginny shrugged and turned to leave and Hermione sighed.

"Me too," Ginny said just before she walked off to her room.

Hermione watched her friend leave.

"The tea is cold."

Hermione turned to Lena who was still standing in the doorway.

Hermione smiled at her and entered the room.

She pulled out her wand and heated up the pot. She frowned when nothing happened. She stared at her wand for a moment before trying again. Again nothing.

Hermione reached out to touch the teapot and she felt an electric shock.

"Ow," she said shaking her hand.

"Oh," Lena said walking over to the pot and pouring them a cup each, "nice and hot now."

Hermione stared at the pot in confusion before looking at her wand in confusion.


Lance,

I haven't heard from you in a while, I hope you are alright and I hope you don't mind that I kept going on and on like this, but I don't know who else to talk to.


Everyone stood in a circle staring at the girl sitting on the floor.

Harry had blindfolded her and led her through the schools, he had doubled back a few times and seemed to walk up and down a few stairs before they made their way to the Room of Requirement but he wouldn't listen to any protests. He would do this his way and she really couldn't blame him for being overly cautious not with Umbridge walking the halls randomly interrogating students.

It was a wonder none of them had been targeted and Harry was still spouting conspiracy theories as to why they hadn't dragged Hermione in once they found out her bracelets were no longer working. If they knew at all.

When she entered the Room of Requirement she was actually surprised by who she saw there. She hadn't expected anyone and yet there were at least ten or so people there. She was pleasantly surprised. When she told Ron this he gave her a look which implied she was being naive and explained that most of them were there to interrogate her and protect the others should she turn out to be a spy.

Hermione frowned but she knew from the beginning that this would be an uphill battle. And more to the point, she knew that this had as much to do with her as it did about Lena. If she could prove that Lena, a person who everyone in the D.A. had every reason to hate and distrust, then she could prove to herself that she could also be trusted. She didn't understand how Ron could place so much trust in her, or in Hermione but she knew that if Lena didn't pass this test, then she really didn't know how to reconcile the two sides of her self, the one from her past that loved Ron and the one now who just didn't know what the hell she wanted.

"Alright," Harry said motioning for people to sit and they did though reluctantly and still with their wands pointed in Lena's direction.

"I want to say something," a voice said opposite from where Hermione sat.

Hermione looked over Lena's head to see the owner of the voice. The Ravenclaw girl had curly reddish blonde hair surrounding a small round face.

"Marietta don't," a girl next to her said grabbing at her hand. Hermione recognised her, Ginny had said her name was Cho Chang. She looked distressed as though she was trying to stop whatever her friend wanted to say.

"No, Cho," the girl said shaking her friends hand off, "I want to leave, I only came to see who she was so that I could make sure I could avoid her in future."

She saw Andrea who was sitting on the other side of Marietta roll her eyes before looking away.

"What are you implying."

Hermione wasn't surprised when Ernie's tense voice spoke up. She noticed Lena's head tilt slightly towards the voice, she instantly recognised the owner of course.

"Isn't it obvious," another boy said and Hermione recognised him as the Ravenclaw who had purposefully run his luggage cart into her leg earlier that semester, "No one trusts her and we're only here to try to convince the rest of you how bad an idea this is."

"Shut it Terry," Ron said in an exasperated tone, we've all discussed this, several times in fact and then everyone voted, so if you don't like it -"

"What?" the boy called Terry said, "Gonna corner me in some dark alley and beat me up?"

The Ravenclaw scoffed.

"Typical Gryffindor, all brawn no brains" he said under his breath to his friends but it was loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Don't talk about him like that you slimy little git!" the words were out of her mouth before she even knew she was speaking.

Hermione sat back down when she realised that she had jumped up off the floor and was pointing her wand at the Ravenclaw.

Everyone was staring at her, though she thought she saw a few smirks from fellow Gryffindors.

"Sorry," she said embarrassed, "Don't know where that came from."

She thought she saw Ginny bite back a laugh and a raised eyebrow from Ron caused her face to heat up.

Hermione was thankful when Ernie spoke.

"Just because she's a Slytherin doesn't automatically make her -"

"Evil," Marietta provided earning a glare from Ernie.

"Enough of this," Harry said a weary look on his face, "The reason she's here tonight is so we can ask her questions in person, so that those of you who are still unsure can find out for yourselves if she is truly a spy."

"Yeah but she could just lie about it," Mareitta added.

"Which is why," Hermione cut in, she knew it would come to this, "I made this."

Everyone turned to stare at the small vial in her fingers.

"Veratiserum."

"Brilliant," Ron said and Hermione bit back a smile.

"Here Lena," Hermione handed the vial to her friend and helped her drink the potion.

"How do you even know how to do that?" Terry asked her.

"Gryffindors are smarter than you think," Hermione replied, "We just happen to brave as well as smart."

"Are you implying Ravenclaws aren't brave?"

"No I'm not, but Gryffindors will do things if their instincts tell them its right even if logically it may be the most daft idea in the world. Just like how Ron and Harry saved me from that troll even if I nagged him to death that first year."

"You - you remember that?" Ron said suddenly.

She turned and swallowed at the intensity in his eyes.

"I - don't know..."

"So anyway," Ginny cut in when an awkward silence descended on the group, "Shall we get on with the questioning?"

Everyone looked at each other. No one prepared to ask the first question.

It surprised her when Andrea was the one who finally spoke.

"How did you find out about the D.A.?" she cast a significant look at Ernie when she asked the question.

"That was me -"

"I was asking her, not you," Andrea snapped at Hermione.

Hermione bit back a retort and waited for Lena to reply.

Lena took a long time before she answered and a few smug looks were pointed in Harry's general direction.

"Lena," Ernie said encouragingly.

Lena bit her lip.

"Weasley?"

Ron sighed from beside Harry.

"It's fine, you can tell them."

Ernie shot Ron a strange look but his attention quickly returned to Lena.

"I found out when I was visiting Ron in St Mungo's. He mentioned it in one of his...lapses. "

Hermione glanced over at Ron and saw his face pale slightly at the words.

Everyone in the room remained silent and there were a few wary looks between a few of the groups.

"Why did you want to join?"

"I wanted to have friends," Lena replied in her simple manner, and Hermione felt her affection for her friend grow.

"Oh," Luna said from beside Ginny, "That's just like me. Don't worry, the D.A. is just like having friends."

Ginny smiled at Luna and placed a hand on the blonde girls arm.

"We are your friends, Luna."

"That's nice," Luna said with a smile.

"Merlin's beard would someone just -" Terry boot said in exasperation before he jabbed his friend in the ribs.

The boy rubbed his ribs before looking at Andrea, Andrea shrugged her shoulders at him and he turned to Lena.

"Alright, I'll ask, are you a spy for Umbridge."

"No."

"Well that was lovely, now can we get on with actually learning magic?" Andrea said suddenly jumping up from the floor. She brushed herself off and headed over to one side of the room, the boy who had asked the question followed her.

A few in the group still looked dissatisfied but didn't complain when Harry reached forward and took off Lena's blindfold.

Lena blinked a few times and her eyes fixed on the person directly in front of her which happened to be Ernie.

"Hello," she said before putting her glasses on.

"Hello," he replied reaching forward to help her up from the floor.

"Nicely done with the potion," Ginny said from beside her before walking off.

Hermione watched her friend leave before turning her attention to Lena.

"Welcome to the D.A."

She heard a few gasps and it was no wonder.

Lena was smiling and what a difference that one act made.

"Thank you," Lena replied her smile broadening as her eyes surveyed the room, "Thank you so much."


Hermione watched as Ernie adjusted Lena's fingers so that she could perform the 'protego' charm correctly. Lena was listening carefully to his words and it must have been the most that he had spoken to her because she was looking up at him with wide eyes as though she had never heard his voice before.

He caught her staring and laughed at her.

"They're doing that thing again," a voice said in annoyance from beside her, Hermione glanced over to see Andrea standing with her servant, what was his name again, oh yes, Zacharias Smith. Something about him rubbed her the wrong way but for some reason she didn't think he was a Ravenclaw and yet he was wearing a Ravenclaw servant's uniform.

He rolled his eyes at Andrea.

"If you're done gawking Andy," for a second she thought he was talking to her but then Andrea elbowed him in the ribs.

"Whose gawking, my boyfriend is just over there with another girl is all, its my right to know what their talking about."

"Short leesh much?" Smith mumbled in response.

"What? What was that?" Andrea replied indignantly.

"Nothing, I didn't say a word milady."

Andrea scoffed at him.

"Shove it," she said before turning and walking from the room, "Remember to wash and iron my clothes before you go to sleep tonight.

"Yes milady," Smith said in a bored voice.

"Oh just shut up."

"Yes milady."

Hermione turned her attention back to Lena and stepped back when she realised that her friend was now was walking over to her.

"I will go to sleep now," Lena said yawning and Hermione nodded in understanding.

"Did you want milk or something before bed, I could -"

"Hermia," Lena emphasised the nickname to get her attention and Hermione looked up at her, "You can return to Ron, I no longer require your ser- your help."

Hermione appreciated her wording and nodded her head though she was reluctant to leave her friend just yet.

Lena looked at her at her expectantly but Hermione didn't really know what she wanted from her.

"Weasley does make a habit of staring when you aren't looking."

Hermione's eyes widened and she turned to find Ron but he had his back to her and was talking to Neville about something.

"I said," Lena said slowly and for her that probably meant she was exasperated with Hermione, "when you aren't looking."

Hermione laughed at that and she caught Ernie's disapproving glare over Lena's shoulder. And it suddently occured to her that Ernie was jealous, not of her specifically but the fact that he would no longer be the only person Lena could rely on. Actually a few hufflepuff's had warily introduced themselves to Lena, and the Gryffindors were already used to her by now and simply gave her nods of acknowledgement.

"I'll walk with you back to the common room at least," Hermione said when Lena picked up her bag.

She spared one final glance in Ron's direction before leaving the room. It looked like she would have to wait until tomorrow to bring up her hallucinations with him.


"Hermione! Hermione! Are you alright?"

Hermione groaned and slowly opened her eyes. The harsh lights in the room hurt her eyes as though she hadn't used her eyes for a long time. She tried to move but her muscles ached and she couldn't quite make them move the way she wanted to which frustrated her more - angered her in fact.

"Baby please look at me."

The words brought her attention to the person staring down at her, she realised after a moment that he was holding her in his lap. She blinked when a drop of water - or was it blood dripped from his face down to hers.

She opened her mouth to speak but her throat ached.

Someone held a glass of water to her lips and she drank as though it was the most delicious drink she had ever tasted. She saw dark blobs in her peripheral vision and realised that there was more than one person in the room.

"Are you alright love?" the person holding her said when she had finished the water.

She stared at the red-haired boy. Why did he keep calling her by strange names? 'Baby'? 'Love'? Was those her name? But surely a person only had one name.

"'Mione, are you alright?" he said again when she didn't reply.

'He must be talking to me.'

"Yes," she said coughing from the effort and she thirsted for more water.

Her eyes widened when the person holding her suddenly lifted her up and held her to him. She felt his body shaking and she felt something warm trickle down her neck. When he pulled his head back she realised that he was crying. She also saw that his there was a long red cut on his forehead. He was hurt and that bothered her. She wanted to reach up and heal the wound but her body still didn't respond the way she wanted it to.

She stared at him in confusion. He had stopped talking and was just staring at her now.

He smiled at her as though she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and she had no idea why.

"Wh -" she gulped and tried again cringing at the blood she tasted on her lips.

"What is is it 'Mione?" he said the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiled at her.

She stared at his face for a long moment before finally speaking.

"Who- who are you?"

With those words she felt the strength leave her body and the world turned black.


Lance,

It paralyses me because I am starting to think I know why I feel this way and how the hell am I supposed to deal with that when it comes...

H~