Me: I'm so sorry. I'm so extremely sorry!
Kashino: Where have you been all this time?!
Me: *sulks in a corner* I've had a lot of stuff going on... I'm so sorry.
In all seriousness, I'm so sorry for the delay. UGH, I'm ready to cry over this. I understand that I haven't updated this story since October. I take full blame for it. I just... Ugh. Life's been rough. I just finished my exams, so I'm a little drained from that. But mostly, I've had a lot of struggles with anxiety since October. I've been over-stressed, exhausted, and broken down a lot. The semester's been really stressful for me, I'm so glad it's over. Now, I'm not using that as an excuse. Cause I know it's not an excuse... I just wanted to say that I take full responsibility for the delay. I'm truly really sorry. So without further ado, the newest installment in MJMS.
P.S I'm so sorry if it sucks. I haven't written anything in ages so I've reverted and gone backward and started sucking at writing again T.T
I do not own Yumeiro Patissiere~
My Journey, My Story
Chapter 28: A Run with Jealousy, Mirror Rivals?
Shortly after the first grand prix match, the announcement for the second round comes. A poster on the school announcements board displays a neon pink backsplash with the words "Cake Grand Prix, Round Two" in flourishing cursive.
The meeting is set for 2 days from when we see it, and when we all meet up in the kitchen classroom is when I realize how real the situation. There are 4 teams left sitting in the room. 16 people. Only 4 of us will go to Paris.
"Welcome to the Cake Grand Prix Semi Final meeting," Aunt Lemon says, walking into the room. "Firstly, I congratulate you all for making it so far. The competition was rough for all of you, I expect. Takashima-san, as the oldest team, would you like to say something?"
Takashima-san is the chairman's daughter. I have never seen her up until now. I've hear rumors that she's considered a protégé. She's never lost any competition, and her team is definitely the school's powerhouse. She has long blond hair, with cold blue eyes. She looks around the room, her eyes finally settling on me, "I don't know how many of you got here, quite honestly." Her stare is intense; I can feel chills running down my spine. "But... I wish you the best of luck."
"The semi-final will be simple," Aunt Lemon says, "and will take place on Valentine's Day."
Valentine's Day. That's why the poster was so pink and pretty. "Valentine's Day?" Kachiso-kun echoes.
"That's right, the match will be on Valentine's Day, February 14. I'm sure from this most of you can tell what the theme will be."
From beside me, I hear Himoto murmur something beside me, "... Love."
It must be her teacher senses, because Aunt Lemon hears what Himoto says as well. "That's right Himoto-san, the theme for the semi-final is 'love'. How you choose to interpret the theme is up to you. The match is in 2 weeks. The match ups will be announced the day of. Good luck to all of you."
There's stillness in the air before Takashima-san gets up, tossing her hair behind her shoulders. "... I'll see you all on Valentine's Day," She says icily, before gesturing to her team and walking out of the room. Quietly, Team Kuroa leaves next without a word.
This leaves us, and Kachiso-kun's team in the room. Aunt Lemon smiles at us, "You two teams are the two younger teams. Good luck to both of you!" And she leaves as well.
Once the door closes, Kachiso-kun looks at me and smiles brightly, "Lynne, I've got an offer for you, do you wanna hear me out?"
Himoto narrows his eyes and glares at him, "Since when were you on a first name basis, creep?"
"Woah, no need to get angry," Kachiso-kun says, "Sorry, Kashino-san, I have an offer for you. Can you listen for a minute?"
I give Himoto a confused glance, "Feel free to just call me 'Lynne'," I say, "No need for formal honorifics."
Himoto makes some sort of displeased noise, but doesn't say anything. Instead, he crosses his arms and sulks like he does when he's angry. Why he's getting angry, I really don't know.
"As your senpai," Kachiso-kun says happily, "I'd like to extend my team's help to yours. The grand prix is kind of scary the first time, especially if you get this far. I just want to help calm your nerves a little."
"Really...?"
"We don't need your help," Himoto argues back. "We're perfectly capable of doing things on our own."
"Himoto! That's rude!"
"I don't want help from a... suck up like him! He just wants us to warm up to him so we go easy on him if we get matched up."
"That's not true," Kachiso-kun says, standing up and crossing over to me. His hand rests on my shoulder, and he gives me a smile, "I just want to help out a beautiful kouhai like you, Lynne-chan."
"Creep." Himoto says, almost hissing through his teeth, "Don't touch her."
Kachiso-kun shrinks back a little, "Oh. I'm sorry. You're a jealous type, aren't you?"
Himoto's facial expression shifts, his face turning red, "N-no! You're just a creepy upperclassman fooling around with underclassman."
"I'm sorry if I make you feel that way," Kachiso-kun says, "Lynne-chan, you have a wonderful boyfriend to protect you, I apologize for interfering."
It's one thing for Himoto to be blushing, but it feels like someone just touched a lit match to my face, "N-n-no! You've got it wrong! He's not-"
"She's not-"
"We're not dating!"
"Oh," Kachiso-kun says. He glances at Himoto, "Then, I have no idea why you think you can tell me what to do. Lynne-chan can make her own decisions."
Komanda-kun breaks in finally, "Hey, no fighting! This is just a friendly competition, right?"
A girl from Kachiso-kun's team echoes, "He's right!" I take notice of Kachiso-kun's team which seems to almost parallel ours. Our team is made up of me, and the three sweet princes. Kachiso-kun's team is him, and three girls.
Kachiso-kun exhales, tearing his eyes away from Himoto who looks like he's red hot with anger. "... I'm afraid you've seen an ugly side of myself, Lynne-chan. I apologize." He turns to the girl who spoke out, "Thank you Aoi."
Komanda-kun tells Himoto to sit down, "Ka-kun, calm down a little. You've got a scary look on your face."
"Guys like him make me so angry," Himoto snaps in response, but he sits down with a heavy thud. I don't understand why he would be so mad. They are only trying to be nice.
"I'll take you up on your offer Kachiso-kun," I say finally, with a hesitant smile. Despite what feelings Himoto has, I can't let an opportunity like this just fly away. I struggle with nerves, and Kachiso-kun has answers.
"Perfect," Kachiso-kun says, "let me introduce you to my team, my three sweet princesses, Ishaira Hira, Kamanchi Aoi, and Himana Kayu."
"My name is Ishiaira Hira," The first says. She has rich shoulder length green hair, with a flashy smile. "My specialty is working with sugar, it's a pleasure."
"I'm Kamanchi Aoi," The girl from before says. Her hair is a very light blonde, and she has pure blue eyes, "I work well with multicultural sweets."
"Himana Kayu," The last says. She reminds me a lot of Himoto with golden blonde hair, gold coloured eyes. The way she talks and holds herself together kind of reminds me of him too. They would match up well with each other. That thought sends a series of angry prickles through me. "Chocolate is my thing."
She works with chocolate too? I look her over. She's a lot taller than me. Himoto smirks, "Chocolate huh? I can live with it."
"Same," Himana says, "You're the first year they call the 'Chocolate Master', right?"
"I could show you a little thing or two," Himoto boasts, a smug expression forming on his face.
"I should be the one saying that to you, kouhai."
Meanwhile, Kamanchi-san and Komanda-kun begin to talk, it seems they have a lot in common. I've never seen Komanda-kun quite like I have now. His face is all red, and his body quivers slightly.
Ishiaira-san and Isho-kun seem to be getting along well as well, Isho-kun isn't called a Prince Charming for nothing.
Watching Himana and Himoto talk to each other is weird. They have a rival like expression in their eyes. I remember that look on Himoto's face. He used to look at me like that when we first met. Is that what we looked like to other people?
"Lynne-chan, would you do me the pleasure of working with me?" Kachiso-kun asks, breaking me out of a trance. "I can teach you anything you'd like."
Right. Kachiso-kun was kind enough to offer his team to help ours. I shouldn't be thinking about Himana and Himoto. I have my own work, with Kachiso-kun to think about. Even with that said, I can't help but take another peak at Himoto.
"Do you know how to temper chocolate?" Himana asks, opening up a notebook and spreading it across the table. Himoto comes up beside her, quickly reading over the notes.
"Yeah, I learned it a while back. Is this your technique to it?"
Himana looks up at him, and they're basically the same height. Himana might be a few centimeters shorter. It's nothing like Himoto and I. I'm almost a head shorter than him. I look over Himoto's face and he looks... Happy. He certainly doesn't look angry like he did a few minutes ago. Was that Himana's doing? Usually it's me who makes Himoto calm down and feel better. How could she do that in a few minutes? No less, in the amount of time she's known him?
"Lynne-chan! Hey Lynne-chan, are you listening?" Kachiso-kun waves his hands in front of my face, "Hello? Are you in there Lynne-chan?"
"Oh, sorry," I apologize, "I spaced out."
"That's alright," Kachiso-kun says kindly, "Now, is there anything you really want to know Lynne-chan? I'll teach you anything you're curious about."
I hear Himana laugh, and Himoto soon joins in. I take a quick backward glance, what on earth could they possibly be laughing about? This is a practise, not a comedy!
"... Lynne-chan?"
"Oh, um..." Why can't I stay focused today? "Sorry Kachiso-kun." I stare at the counter top, trying not to over think. My eyes flicker toward Himoto and Himana again before I can stop myself. They're working on tempering chocolate.
Kachiso-kun watches me, "Do you want to temper chocolate too, Lynne-chan? You keep looking over there, after all."
"Uh... Sure, I guess."
Kachiso-kun smiles, patting my head, "Alright, let's get some materials then. I'll go get some chocolate from the storage room, can you ask Himana and Himoto if they can spare a few tools?"
"Yeah, sure."
XxXxX
"No, do it like this," Himana says, reaching over and grabbing both of Himoto's wrists, "Relax more here, so you don't put so much stress on your wrists here. See?"
"Oh... That makes a lot of sense."
"That way, you can keep it up for longer. It will improve your consistency."
Himoto smiles, "Thanks."
I cough loudly, getting both of their attention. There's a flaming feeling inside my stomach, "Sorry to interrupt, but can I borrow some of the tempering tools?" I ask. Looking at Himana I say, "Unless you want to hoard all of them for yourself."
"Kashino, that's not very nice," Himoto replies, a dissatisfied look on his face.
"Well, last time I checked, you aren't a very nice person either," I snap, crossing my arms, "Can I just have some, please?"
Himana stares at me for a moment, like she's trying to understand me. "Of course you can," She reaches into the cupboard by her feet, pulling out more utensils and tools, "Here, feel free to ask if you need more."
I squish between her and Himoto, "Oh thank you," I say, grabbing the items from her. I look at their work, chocolate ganache. "Is this what you guys are doing?"
"Yeah, this is what I made, I'm teaching it to Himoto-kun here," Himana says lightly. Her tone of voice irritates me for some reason.
"Oh really?" I ask, feigning surprise. I look at it once more, before taking a small sample of it for myself. "Hm... I think it could be better, a lot better actually. I could make it better! Couldn't I, Himoto?"
I give him a smile, but he only scowls back at me, "Kashino, what's up with you? Treat your senpai respectfully!"
"Because you always do that!" I argue, "Weren't you fighting with Kachiso-kun just a few minutes ago?"
"That's different-"
Himana sighs, laying a hand on Himoto's shoulder, "Okay you two kouhais, enough fighting. You have what you need, right Kashino-san? Why don't you go back to your own station and work with Kachiso-kun?"
The words 'don't touch him' form on my tongue before I even think about it. But I bite it back. Isn't that what Himoto usually says about me? He doesn't like it when other people touch me.
With nothing left to say, I inhale deeply, trying to keep my composure and go back to my own work station. My face is turning red. My fingers shake. I feel so angry. Why?
Kachiso-kun returns a couple minutes later, with arms loaded with chocolate. "I'm back Lynne-chan, did I take too long?"
"No, it's fine," I say distractedly.
Himana and Himoto have gone back to work as if I was never even there. They stand so close to each other that their arms almost brush together. I thought Himoto didn't like it when people got so close to him. I always thought I was the only person who could get that close. Why can Himana do that too, when they've only just met each other?
"Is something wrong, Lynne-chan?" Kachiso-kun asks worriedly, "Your face is all red."
"Oh, nothing is wrong," I respond, trying to pull my focus back. I scan the room, the work station beside Himana and Himoto is empty. "Hey Kachiso-kun, can we work over there instead?"
"Sure," He agrees quickly, beginning to pick up the materials, "Is there a reason...?"
"I just think I'll work better there than over here, is that okay?"
"Of course it is," Kachiso-kun says. Once we have everything transferred over, he says, "Why don't we get started? We don't have all day." He opens up packages of covertures, "Can you cut these up Lynne-chan?"
"Yeah sure!" I say happily, grabbing a knife to begin.
Halfway through my work, Kachiso-kun leans over and adjusts my grip on the knife, "Here, if you hold it this way, and cut through at this angle, it'll be easier to make clean cuts."
"Oh thank you," I say, raising my voice slightly. From the corner of my eye, I can see Himoto and Himana look at us. "You're so helpful Kachiso-kun!" I can see Himoto make a move forward, but Himana stops him, distracting him with a question. I feel like something is burning inside of me.
Kachiso-kun gives me a smile, "No problem Lynne-chan." He starts pouring some of the cut up coverture into a pot, and adds milk. "I'm guessing you know how to make chocolate ganache right? We'll just focus on tempering, it's a pretty hard technique."
"Oh it is, but Himoto's taught me all about it! We've spent a lot of time on it, right Himoto?" I call out, flashing a smile. I'm trying my best to look happy, but I feel like I'm burning with unexplained anger on the inside.
"I guess..." Himoto says slowly, "But you've learned it fast enough, so we don't do it as often anymore."
"But, we've definitely spent more time together than you and Himana right? After all, we know each other way better, right?"
Both Kachiso-kun and Himana look at each other, and Himoto's brow twitches. "Kashino, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asks.
"Ah... Sure!" I say, following him out of the kitchen room.
"What was that all about?" I can hear Kachiso-kun murmur to Himana as we leave.
XxXxX
The door to the kitchen room closes, and Himoto's facial expression immediately changes, "Okay Kashino, what is going on with you? You're acting really rudely to everyone, especially after you insisted on their help. It's getting on my nerves."
"Me? I'm not doing anything!" I argue, "You were the one always picking fights with Kachiso-kun every time you see him, I haven't done anything wrong!"
"Yes, you have!" Himoto snaps, "You don't think I don't notice you looking at Himana-senpai and I? You don't think I don't notice that you're constantly trying to show her up? I don't understand why you're trying to prove yourself better than her, because let me tell you, they're all on a different level than us right now. They are a lot more experienced, and know what the hell they're talking about. You can try all you want as it is right now, but you aren't better than Himana-senpai. I don't know why you're trying to prove that you are."
"Why are you defending her? Do you like her more than me?" I bite back angrily, "You've been touchy-feely with her all day! Could it be you're just saying that because you like her? I thought they were supposed to be our rivals! Isn't that what you said? We're supposed to overcome them to become stronger, but all you're doing is being all buddy-buddy with Himana!"
"I do not like Himana-senpai like that," He says, scarily calm, "I did say that we should treat rivals like rivals, but the way you're doing it is wrong, don't you understand? Even if they are rivals, you shouldn't be so rude to Himana-senpai. At least she actually acts her age, why don't you? You're acting like a five year old!"
"And you aren't?!"
Himoto runs his fingers through his hair angrily, "It was you who wanted to do this joint practise thing. It was you who didn't listen to me when I didn't want to. It was you who said yes. It was you who made that decision. So why are you getting mad at me for going along with your decision, team leader?"
"I'm not mad at you!"
"Then why the hell are you acting like a jerk toward the senpais? You're acting like your better than Himana-senpai, you're completely ignoring Kachiso every time he tries to talk to you. Why don't you knock some sense into your thick head?"
Angry tears are forming in my eyes, "I'm not trying to act like a jerk! That's not what I'm trying to-"
"Then what are you doing it for then?" He retaliates.
Why am I like this? I don't even understand it myself. Could it be that I don't like other girls getting close to Himoto? It doesn't bother me that Ishiaira-senpai and Kamanchi-senpai are so close to Isho-kun and Komanda-kun. What is about Himana that makes me so angry? "I... I don't know."
"Well, if you've got no good reason to explain yourself, I don't even want to look at you right now," Himoto says finally. The words cut through me like a knife. "Grow up a little."
He storms back into the kitchen room, leaving me behind in the hallway by myself.
"I don't even want to look at you right now."
A strangled noise comes out of my mouth, some kind of sob that I'm trying to choke back. Before I realize it, tears are streaming down my face. But I can't make a sound. I can't even breathe. Could it be that Himoto doesn't want to be my friend anymore? Over something stupid like this? I can just picture him inside there, being all cuddly with Himana and it makes me dizzy. What is wrong with me?
The door swings open again, and I half expect it to be Himoto coming back out to apologize, but it's not. It's Himana; a calm expression on her face. She looks at me, and I hastily try to wipe away my tears. "... Were you crying?" She asks finally.
I sniffle, "... It's none of your business."
She frowns, before sighing and laying a hand on my head. "Okay, I know you don't like me, but can I ask you one question?"
"What would that be?"
"Do you promise to answer me honestly?"
"... I promise."
Himana looks me dead in the eye, with a straight face, she asks, "Do you like Himoto-kun?" My breath hitches, and my eyes widen. Before I even say a thing, she sighs, saying, "I thought so."
"How did you-?"
"It's obvious enough the way you're acting, though Himoto-kun is too thick to understand it either. Do you even understand why you're acting that way?"
I shake my head.
"... You're jealous."
The words sink into my head, and I start to laugh, "Me jealous? Of you? That is not true! I'm not jealous!"
"The way you're acting sure displays it," Himana says matter-of-factly, "You keep looking his way, keep trying to show off, keep trying to show me up. You just want him to look at you, and not at me. Believe it or not, but you're jealous because your boyfriend is with another girl."
"... He's not my boyfriend."
She smiles, "I just want you to know, there's no need for you to feel jealous. I don't like Himoto-kun like the way you do. I'm just trying to help, giving advice, teaching, it's just my job as a senpai. Nothing more, nothing less. I would never try to steal him from you."
"He's not mine," I mumble, looking down at the ground.
"I know how you feel, believe me," Himana says, "I've been through it enough myself. Here's a word of advice from your senpai, stop feeling so intimidated. I won't take him away, and he still cares about you, even if he yells at you. That's just the way he is, isn't it? So go and apologize to him, and just stop thinking about how jealous you are, because there is absolutely nothing to be jealous about, do you understand me?" She gives me a kind smile, "Don't ruin your friendship over something like this."
She's right. Without even realizing it, I let my emotions get the better of me. Isn't that what I promised not to do, just a while back? Emotions really are strange. First I couldn't act like myself because I was busy worried about what Himoto might think about me. Now, I made him angry and acted like an idiot because I was jealous over another girl. Liking someone really is a hassle. Will there ever be a point where I'm ready for love? "T-thank you Himana... senpai."
"No problem," She says, before hesitantly giving me a friendly hug, "See? I'm not all bad."
"I'm sorry."
She looks toward the door, where Himoto is busy working, and he still looks really angry, "Thanks, but I'm not the person you should be saying that to."
"Yeah, I know."
XxXxX
Himana-senpai and I walk into the kitchen classroom again, and I approach Himoto. Before I even get a word out, he spins around. He's mildly surprised, "Oh! Kashino... I was just about to..."
Together we say, "Uh... Can I talk to you?"
"Huh?" Himoto says, looking away, "Uh... Sure... Yeah."
He grabs me by the arm and pulls me out of the kitchen room, "Okay, you first."
"No, you first!" I insist, trying to cover the redness blooming on my cheeks with the back of my hand.
"Look..." Himoto says, his gaze fluttering around everywhere, "I shouldn't... I know I was mad, but I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm sorry. I still have anger issues. I'm sorry I made you cry. I was a jerk-"
"How did you know I was crying?" I ask. I didn't start crying until he left.
"Your eyes are red," He murmurs, "And I... I know you well enough to know... Hey! Don't start to cry again!"
My eyes are all watery, "I'm sorry too. For being disrespectful, for getting mad, for being mean to everyone; I was being stupid."
Himoto laughs, putting a hand on my shoulder, "When are you not being stupid?"
"... Oh shut up," I whisper, looking away.
"Hey Kashino, look at me," Himoto says. He tilts my head up and begins to brush the tear trails from my cheeks, "What you were upset about that entire time... I know you don't want to tell me what you were so worked up about, but... You know, if you ever need someone to listen, I'm always here. Okay?"
I sniffle once more before giving him a hug, leftover tears wetting his shirt, "I know."
He smiles at me, "Man, you're one emotional girl."
"I could say the same about you."
"I'M NOT EMOTIONAL!"
"Exhibit A."
He wriggles out of my hug, "You're so annoying."
"But a good annoying, right?" I ask, rubbing my eyes and giving him a smile.
He sighs, putting a hand on my head and steering me back into the kitchen room, "... Yeah."
Did I ever mention that I love love love all of you? Reading your encouraging reviews makes me cry. Thank you all for being so supportive, even when I'm a horrible updater (and my writing is getting worse... OTL). Love from me to all of you. Please accept my virtual hug!
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Why are there so many of you when I'm such a horrible person. *Cries* Sorry, I'm incredibly emotional... *fans self* Thank you so much for your support guys, I love you very much! I hope to see you again really really soon!
xoxo
~Mikashi-chan :)
