My usual thanks! Hope you enjoy and I hope you don´t mind, but I won´t be able to post until next week… but at least this is a long one right? Have a great weekend!

Hour 47

"Hey Kate?" I ask.

"Yeah?" She mumbles.

"Can I ask you something?"

"That depends… What do you want to ask me?"

"Remember that case of the murdered chef and Q3?"

"Meaning the time you went out on a date with my high school friend?"

"Errrr… yeah, that."

"What do you want to know about that case?"

"Well, it's more like something Maddie told me about you…"

"And what was that?"

"Well, we were talking about Demming and how I didn't see him as your type and she told me that you never really had a type. She said you had dated a guitarist with a flannel shirt, whom I already knew about from you, but also a Med student, which I can understand after seeing you date Josh. But she said you also dated some French guy who might or might not have been royalty."

"I'm not really hearing a question, Ricky! And before you ask, I'm not giving you my number. Either one of them."

"Kate, trust me, there are numbers neither one of us should disclose. But what I wanted to ask was a lot more innocent. I just wondered if the French guy was actually royalty…"

"He wasn't. He was the heir of a big French holding, but he wasn't blue blooded."

"Good."

"Why?"

"Because the guitarist I can compete with, and apparently the doctors without borders altruist too, because you dated their epitome and he wasn't god enough. But I'm not sure I can compete with some French royalite…"

"Castle, first of all, royalite?Really? They pay you millions of dollars for writing books and that's the best you've got? Secondly, I haven't seen André in maybe 20 years. I must have been sixteen when we met and trust me, your kisses are a billion times better than his were. And before you ask, no, we didn't do anything other than some lip lock. Back then I used too do much ado about nothing. Open mouth kissing was all I did for a really long time."

"At least during your time at Stuyvesant High School?"

"Oh my god! How do you even remember those things!?"

"I have a writer's memory Kate. They pay me those millions you just talked about to remember these things."

"I know, but where I went to school? How is that relevant for Nikki Heat?"

"Simple, Kate. It allows me to know that you have background in science."

"But when did you see me using it?"

"Maybe never, but it helps prove that you're much more that a hot body; you also have a gifted mind."

"Castle…" I love that warning tone…

"I know, I know, flattery will get me nowhere."

"Good to know you're learning fast."

"Well you know, you're not the only bright mind on this balcony…"

"Oh trust me, I know I'm not. I love that mind of yours so much more than its packaging."

Did I mention we're still holding each other? More importantly, she's still sitting on me. We're still chest to chest and her nose is once again hiding in the crook of my neck (after spending the best part of an hour rummaging around my face and all those soft-sensible skin patches between my chin and my chest). "Though I must say, I do love your body too…"

"Good. Cause it's a whole package…" We spend a few minutes in silence, but I sense an open and trusting Kate in my arms so I can't really resist my need to know more things about her. "Can I ask you something else?"

"Just ask, Castle. In the worst case scenario, I won't answer."

"Why did you stop being friends with Madison?"

"Because of a guy… his name was Brent Edwards. We were in our senior year and we both were interested in him. We had decided neither one of us would date him but she did. I got upset and we ever talked again until I ran into her during that case."

"And did you talk to her again after that?"

"Yeah, we actually talk once every month or so. It was good running into her again…you know, reconnect with someone who knew me before my mum's murder…"

I don't want to seem insensitive, but I liked the happy mood we had set, so I try to regain it… "Did you really want to have little Castle babies back then?"

"Did you want to have little Beckett babies back then?"

"I've always wanted to have a son or a daughter with you."

"There you have my answer." Once again, we enjoy the silence for a few moments, but this time it's her who interrupts it. "Did you really want to have a baby with me back then? I wasn't particularly nice to you during that first year…"

"Trust me, compared to Meredith and Gina, you were an angel! And to answer your question, yes, I would have been ecstatic with the perspective of having a child with you. I always dreamed of having another child, but I only wanted to actually do it when I met you. You intrigued me, you challenged me, you seemed real. And that was new. Besides my mother and Alexis, it wasn't usual for me to be surrounded by real women. So to meet you was a refreshing change…And despite my playboy stupidity, I would have done anything you asked me to do, even jump over a bridge."

"Don't." She warned.

"Don't what?"

"Don't give me such power over you!"

"What do you mean? Why not?"

"It's like betting all your chips on the same number at the roulette. Everyone knows you just don't do that!"

"But Kate, I already know you're the paying bet!"

"But I don't want to be the only one! I mean, what would happen to you if anything happened to me?"

"I probably wouldn't be able to go on."

"And Alexis would hate me until the end of time! And so would your mother and friends… And fans. I know you love me, and trust me, I love you mindlessly, but I fear what would happen to me if I ever lost you. And I don't want for you to share that fear…"

"Too late Kate, I already do. I mean, I know I wouldn't do anything as drastic as committing suicide if anything happened to you Kate, but don't ask me to move on, don't expect me to be fine because I wouldn't be. Alexis, my mother, and you are my everything. And yes, I know my mum will die before I do. But I'd die if Alexis died before me and I know I won't ever be the same if you died. But Kate, I want for us to share forty or fifty years together before either one worries about life without the other…."

"Will Nikki Heat ever be clothed on the cover?"

"Nice change of subject, very smooth. And to answer your question, I don't think so, no."

"That's great, you're just going to keep giving people reasons to make fun of me…"

"Well detective, I need to level the field a little bit. I'm always giving them reasons to make fun of me!" She pokes my shoulder. We're gonna need to talk about that damn finger. It's quite a bit stronger than she seems to think it is.

"Yeah, well, that's your choice. I have no voice in Nikki's cover attire. Or lack of it, for what it's worth."

"Can you stop complaining about it already? It's my greatest character so far, and it's going to feed us and our children, so quit it. Besides, it's not as if it actually was your smokin' hot silhouette on the cover…it's just a random woman's body…"

Once again, she' s the one to break the silence. "Why didn't you call? I mean, after you went to the Hamptons for the summer, why didn't you call to let us know you were back?"

Did I mention it's really distracting to have her breathing in my neck?

"I really didn't know how. I was kind of frustrated at you for choosing Demming over me, and even though I was with Gina, I wouldn't have been able to hide my jealousy. So I kept pushing the call back, hoping you'd come and find me at a book signing or something."

"Fair enough, I guess."

"Can we please, allow our kids to believe in Santa?"

"You do realize the topic jumping we're doing is kind of bizarre right?"

"Yes I do. So? Can we?"

"Yes Castle, we can. Just because I learned the truth when I was three doesn't mean I can't enjoy the happiness that believing in fantasy can bring to a child. As far as I'm concerned, we can do Santa, the Easter Bunny and any other character you want."

"Oh it's going to be so cool! We're going to have so much fun! I remember when Alexis was little! Every year she insisted on leaving cookies and a glass of milk for Santa, so he could keep his strength for the long night he had ahead of him."

"I wonder who's idea that was…"

"Yeah, well, setting all the presents at three in the morning is quite an appetite developer, trust me. You'll learn it soon enough!"

"Who says I'll be staying up?! Present arranging can be your thing Castle!"

"That's fine by me!" After a few minutes of silence a thought hits me. "Were you ever going to tell me about your modeling days?"

"What?! How did you find out about that?!"

"Oh, ummmm…"

"I'm gonna kill the boys!"

"No, don't! Please! They'll kill me if they found out I told you!"

"When did they tell you about it? They promised me they wouldn't!"

"Um, it was last summer actually…I was kind of frustrated, with, you know, you not calling, Gates trying to ban me from the precinct and not finding any new leads. They showed them to me to try and cheer me up…"

"Did it work?"

"Yes it did. Until I started fantasizing about you and that tennis attire, which lead me to remember you were with Josh and that I had no right to think about you in that way. So in the end, knowing about that photo shoot only made me feel guilty."

"Don't. Don't you ever feel guilty about wanting me. I thought about you a lot during last summer. Granted, I wasn't strong enough to do anything with the feelings that thinking about you raised, but I did spend hours wondering what you were doing, what you were wearing, what you were writing, hoping that maybe you were fantasizing about me too…"

"Trust me Kate, I was!"

"Good. And you better never stop thinking about me."

"Should I be ashamed of admitting that my greatest fantasies didn't really involved us being naked, but us being like this, comfortable with each other, sharing mindless conversations, innocents touches and soft kisses?"

"You can be if you want to, but I'll never be ashamed of fantasizing about us being partners in every sense of the word, in and outside the bedroom. But I know what you mean, and I share those fantasies, the ones that include us living a life together, not just a mindless affair."

"It could never be a mindless affair between us Kate. If anything, it'd be an affair to remember."

"Oh I love that movie! I remember crying over it thousands of times with my mum, and every time my dad would chastise us for watching it knowing it made us so sad."

"And why did you? Watch it so many times knowing it made you sad?"

"Because it also made us happy at the end. Seeing them overcoming their obstacles was always inspiring. And seeing how he chose to be with her, even knowing she couldn't walk was nice to see. Come to think of it, I don't think I saw it again after my mum died."

"I never saw it. Would you like to watch it with me?"

"Absolutely, but not tonight." She moves back a little and runs her hands down my arms and intertwines our fingers. "Do you remember the first time we ever held hands?"

"What? Ummm, I don't think so, no. Do you?"

"Yeah. It was during the Triple Killer case. That's when I realized for the first time just how devastated I would be if anything ever happened to you. That was also the first time I ever brought you coffee."

"Hump. You do still owe me about a thousand of them…"

"Well, I'm unemployed, so homemade will have to do…"

I wonder if she realizes she's playing with our hands or if it's a mindless thing. "As long as you're wearing one of my button downs while you do so, it's fine by me."

"Castle! I'm not going to run around the loft wearing your shirts everyday! These past few days were an exception!"

"Well, I have no problem with you running around in your birthday suit, but I doubt mother and Alexis would appreciate that…" She lets go of my right hand to poke me again.

"Hey! Enough with the poking thing! There are a lot more effective and less hurtful ways to get my attention you know?"

"Such as?"

"Such as glaring at me. Or even better, a kiss would fulfill the job just fine."

"Really?" She leans in as if to prove that theory. Her touch is almost a whisper but it has me transfixed. She seems to agree. "Yeah…" She leans in again. "I can see the advantages of this method." And again. This time though, I don't allow her to push away. I let go of her hand and, placing both of mine at the back of her skull, I bring her to me.

Enough mindless talk for a while.