I continue to thank those who continue to leave their thoughtful responses.
Another long chapter… I know how much you hate those. This usually happens when I handwrite first, then type; I never realize just how much I've done until I put it to screen. Womp. Womp.
UNEDITED.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Boundaries
- "So, we left Wyndemere, got on the launch before your parents, been sitting here for twenty minutes watching Dani play, and you've still not said anything. Call me nuts, but when someone says they wanna talk, Twinny, usually that means they… talk."
She heard the teen let out a sigh.
- "What's going on, sweetheart? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
Looking over to where Dani sat in the sandbox with the other young children, Kristina nodded as she furiously blinked to stop her forming tears.
- "I—"
Tina handed her a tissue.
- "It's okay to cry, honey; no one will judge you for it."
But she could not; not in a park filled with infants and toddlers with their parents. She was a seventeen year old… woman… girl… teen. She did not know what she was. She was a seventeen year old something who had survived a brutal attack by her first love, given birth to a beautiful little girl to whom she instead chose to play aunt rather mother. She was not yet a woman, but she certainly was no teen… not a normal one. She had lived as the former, but wanted back the time she had lost as the latter. She simply did not know how she could accomplish that.
- "No. It's not. I'm… I'm done… crying. I need to get my life back on track… but… I—"
She did not know where to begin. It was one thing to tell her sister why she had spent so long allowing Kiefer to abuse her, it was another to admit to her aunt that she was afraid to tell her parents that they had somewhat misled her into believing in fairytales. Until she could come to the point where she could confront two of the most important people in her life for what they had done to her, she felt stagnant.
- "I don't want Sam to lie to her."
Tina frowned; there were two people about whom the girl could have spoken.
- "Lie to whom?"
- "Dani… I don't want Sam to lie to her; but at the same time I do. God!"
She hid her face into her hands. She was not making any sense.
- "I mean, I don't ever want my sister to tell her who she is… rather, who she came from. I guess maybe when she's older we can sit down and tell her, but not how. It doesn't matter… not anymore."
She looked at her aunt.
- "But at the same time, T, I don't want her to pretend that life is this perfect thing… where if you love someone enough you can change them... that love is enough to make a man… even the worst kind… into this… I don't know… Prince Charming—"
Tina smiled sadly at the girl. It broke her heart to think of what Alexis and Sonny had inadvertently done.
- "You think your parents lied to you?"
It was not intentional, but a lie was a lie.
- "Yea. I mean, Mom went back to Dad after that man nearly attacked Sam and her, and then even after I was KIDNAPPED and Michael was murdered! God, she left Port Charles because of the danger his life posed to you, Sam, and her. She kept me away from him for three years of my life because she didn't want me to be raised as Michael was. But she came back to be with him anyway! Because… because he had changed… for her… because he loved her. Why wouldn't I think I could change Kiefer? Why wouldn't I want to make him a better man like Daddy became?"
It was not the same.
- "Honey—"
She was not finished.
- "Kiefer beat and raped me, but that doesn't compare to anything that Daddy put Mom through, T. He was a murderer… I love him, I do, but that's what he was. He was a thief… and a liar… and everything that most normal women would run away from… and she did. She ran away… FAR away… for YEARS. But… she still went back to him. If a man like that can change into the best father in the world, why wouldn't I think that some teenaged boy who came from an abusive home – just like Daddy – could change too? Why wouldn't I go back… just like Mommy did?"
She stared at her aunt.
- "I spent the night with them last night. The entire time I kept asking myself 'why.' I love my father, but I just… I want to know why it was okay for Mom to go back and everything be okay… more than okay, but for me… it wasn't. Why'd she go back, T?"
Flashback
With her twenty-three year old sister by her side, Alexis stepped off the plane carrying their three year old daughter in her arms while holding her thirteen year old's hand in her own. With each step she took, her smile widened at the sight of the man who had compelled her return to the States.
- "Sonny."
Standing beside his car without bodyguards or weapons on his person, he held his hands in his pockets as he attempted not to cry from joy at seeing the love of his life, the daughter they had created, and the beautiful teen he would hopefully be able to call his own walk toward him. If someone had asked him a year earlier if he had thought such a day would be possible, he would have laughed in that person's face. He never imagined that Alexis would return to him.
- "God, you're beautiful."
But she had not returned to him; she had never met him… not the new him. The man she had left that rainy day four years earlier was not the man standing before her awaiting the touch of her lips to his own. He was a changed man. And that was why she returned.
- "You're not so bad yourself. You remember my sister, Kristina, don't you?"
He nodded.
- "It's nice seeing you again, Kristina."
The beautiful redhead extended her hand to the man. Although she was not happy to be back in the town, but she could not have imagined being separated from her sister. While she loved their brother, a man who had virtually raised her, Alexis and she were inseparable; she was her best friend. Naturally she followed along.
- "Likewise, Sonny."
She did not bother to ask him his preference as to how he would have likes to be called. She had decided that if her family was to be displaced from their home for this man, she would need to be on a first name basis with him.
- "And you may call me Tina."
Alexis smiled gratefully at her sister's polite attitude toward Sonny. The younger woman not only disagreed with returning to Port Charles, but much like their brother, she adamantly disagreed with the reason. Nevertheless, Tina supported her.
- "Um… and I would like to introduce and I suppose reintroduce you to the two loves of my life—"
After much soul-searching since Alexis left, Sonny realized that he could not continue to put the business ahead of the love he felt for the people in his life: his son, Alexis, and the child he had learned they would have together.
Reeling from her loss, and the chance to raise their child with her, Sonny spent a year mourning her departure, another evaluating his life without her, and the third year making moves to purge himself of the blood of those he had killed, or arranged to be killed, that stained his hands. He handed off his property to his number two, Jason Morgan, a twenty year old ready and willing to take on his role as the mob boss. He then took all the clean money he had legally invested throughout the years, purchased a home in which he hoped Alexis would love if she chose to return and be with him, he began learning the coffee industry, purchased a run-down café, along with an equally run-down restaurant next door; he would start from scratch to be with her.
He was a changed man… because of her. And with her, his family, in front of him, he could no longer hold in the tears that had welled within his eyes; it was a dream come true.
- "Thank you—"
She released Sam's hand long enough to wipe his fallen tears.
- "Now, you didn't really know her then… for good reason… but this is my beautiful Samantha."
From the moment seven years earlier when he had arrived at Alexis' office earlier than she had anticipated and saw the little girl seated on her the woman's lap coloring, he knew he had wanted to be her father. Now, her would get his chance; he would not blow it with her mother. He took a step toward her.
- "It's very nice seeing you again, Sam. You've gotten so big."
Knowing her uncle's disapproval, regardless of her mother's assurances, Sam was reluctant to openly accept Sonny. She moved toward her aunt.
- "It's been four years; I was bound to grow."
Alexis shot the teen a stern look, but did not require an apology; she knew that the situation was difficult. She had taken a big chance in uprooting her family – especially for someone like Sonny. She gambled with their lives; they had a right to be bitter.
- "Sorry about that. Um, and this little one—"
She turned her body so that he could see the sleeping toddler's face.
- "And this sleepy head is our little girl, Kristina."
Being a man used to great power, he let out a sob; he saw his mother in the girl. He hated feeling so vulnerable in front of the women and children, but he could not help himself. He was… grateful.
- "Can I… can I hold her?"
And knowing that the little girl slept like a rock, Alexis nodded as she slowly shifted Kristina from her arms and into Sonny's.
- "Krissy, say hello to your Daddy."
Unbeknownst to them, she had begun to awaken. Opening her eyes to see the face of the man she had known only in the single picture her mother had shown her every night before bed, the little girl smiled at the man.
- "Yia sou Daddy."
End of Flashback
She knew she should not impose, but she could not help herself; she understood better than anyone why a woman would go back to a man who presumably was not right for her. Of course, she also knew why she should not always.
- "Because your father was ready and willing to change."
The teen and the redhead looked up to notice Melinda staring at them; neither was sure as to when she had come upon them. She seemed to appear out of nowhere.
- "Uh—"
But the woman spoke up before Kristina had a chance to speak.
- "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, Kristina. I was just… I was going for a walk; I needed some air… some time to think, I guess."
She noticed the baby sitting in the sandbox curiously staring in their direction.
- "Is that—"
Noticing that her niece had become flustered as her eyes moved from Dani to the woman, Tina answered.
- "She's our niece… well, my great-niece. Um… I'm—"
To steer the conversation away from Dani, with her hand extended, Tina stood to greet Melinda.
- "Kristina Cassadine."
Staring at the woman with her caked-on makeup and pained expression on her face as she spoke, Tina did not understand why the woman had chosen to stay with a man who would beat her. Along with that, she resented Melinda in having raised a boy who would lay his hand on and rape her beloved and cherished niece. And still, in looking at her, and having seen her pass unnoticed throughout the trial, Tina could not hate her; instead, she pitied her.
- "Krissy is my niece."
Melinda smiled slightly. Her jaw still hurt from the painful blows Warren's fist had delivered to it the afternoon prior.
- "Pleasure to meet you Ms. Cassadine. Melinda Bauer… although I'm sure you already knew that. Again, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to eavesdrop… I just… I saw Kristina sitting here and I… I just thought I would come by and apologize… for everything—"
Taken from her surprise, Kristina stared at the woman. She did not want her apology; it was not her fault.
- "You don't have to apologize to me. You… you didn't do anything."
And that was the problem.
- "You're right; I didn't. I suppose that's the problem, isn't it? I should've… I should've done something… to stop him…"
Looking at the beautiful teen, Melinda realized that was speaking into a mirror. She was Kristina's age when Warren and she had begun to date. It was romantic; he was the perfect gentleman… until he was not. She did not know when the change had occurred; it just had. And by the time she had realized that this man was not the one with whom she had fallen in love, it was too late. She was already head over heels in love with the man she knew him to be, and capable of once again, with patience and love, becoming. She could not throw it all away because on occasion he was upset; Warren was her first love, lover, and then husband. She would do anything to keep him happy in the hopes that some day she would again see a glimmer of the man he had once been.
- "Kiefer. I should've paid more attention to him and what he was doing. I'm sorry that… I'm sorry that he did those horrible things to you, Kristina."
She did not know what to say. She had spent the two months since the incident had occurred being called a slut and a whore by this woman's husband. He had called her a liar, told her that she had deserved whatever had happened to her, but clearly not at his son's hand, and accused her parents of raising a tramp. He had made her feel as though perhaps he was right; she had caused this pain to everyone.
- "Um… it's… it's not your fault, Mrs. Bauer. Kiefer… he… he was just lost, I guess. He… I… I tried to help him—"
Melinda shook her head; she had learned from her mistakes.
- "Listen to me—"
And she took a step toward the girl.
- "You cannot change anyone who doesn't want to change on his own. You can love that person so much that it hurts… physically, emotionally, and sometimes mentally; but if he doesn't want to change, honey—"
She felt like a hypocrite.
- "You have to let him go… before you get… before you've given every single piece of yourself to him. You have to let him go."
Watching the teen understandingly nod, she continued.
- "Now, I don't know your mother or your father, but I do know who your father was; it wasn't pretty, legal, or commendable—"
Tina eyed her niece's reaction. Seeing that Kristina had wanted to defend the man, she gently placed her hand on the girl's knee; the woman's comment was not meant to insult the man Sonny had since become.
- "But, your father… he must have seen something in your mother that made him want to give up the life he led. Something about her was enough for him to want to become a better man. That… that isn't something that you see in every man, Kristina. And it isn't your job to make the boy you love want to change. It's your job to figure out how much you're willing to accept him for how he is now, not what you think he could be later. You can't change someone who doesn't want to change…"
She saw a look of confusion on the girl's face. Kiefer had wanted to change; every single day, he fought against his father's influence.
- "And sometimes, even when that person wants to change, you still have to let go. Sometimes you're the thing holding him back from making that change. If he still has you, forgiving him for every cut and bruise he places on your body, why would he change?"
Melinda did not know from where this solid piece of advice had come, but it was what she could offer the girl whom she had wronged. By remaining with Warren in the hopes that he would change and become the Prince Charming he had presented himself to be when they had first met, she had allowed his influence to fester in her home until it breathed life into her son. It was from that point she had helped to destroy the girl.
- "Just… just keep that in mind."
The teen nodded.
- "You too."
Although she saw Melinda somewhat gasp at her comment, at that very moment, Dani began to cry from her spot. She wanted to leave the sandbox, but her little feet were not sturdy enough to do so without help; so she held her tiny hands up for one of her aunts to help her. Instinctively, Kristina moved to her side.
- "Excuse me, please. It's okay, Jellybean. Come here, Auntie Krissy's got you."
Melinda smiled at the teen and the infant. The redheaded child giggled as Kristina covered her face with kisses. She was happy.
- "She's good with her."
Tina could not help but smile alongside the woman; Kristina was a natural with Dani.
- "Yes she is. She's a treasure… a little miracle."
She could see that.
- "What's her name?"
Tina was not sure if she should speak further to Melinda about Dani, but she could not very well ignore her question. From what she could tell, however, the woman was harmless.
- "Danielle."
Melinda stared at Kristina as she bounced Dani around the sandbox. Any previous timidity she had shown had quickly dissipated in the presence of the infant.
- "She's a beautiful little girl; she looks just like you. That must be… I don't know… comforting—"
The redhead frowned at the odd choice of words.
- "Comforting?"
She noticed. Consciously, she had not meant anything by it; but subconsciously, she was grateful that she could not see a morsel of Bauer blood in the child. Why would she? Danielle was Sam's little girl.
- "I mean, it's always nice when someone so precious takes after you. To see yourself in another person… I don't know, it's an amazing feeling. To know that when you've left the earth that you'll still be remembered through someone else; it's a wonderful thing."
Knowing that Dani needed a bottle, Kristina returned to Tina's side; the baby automatically reached for her fellow redhead.
- "WaWaWaWaWa!"
While suspiciously studying the woman, Tina obliged the child who attempted to call her Wilma. She had always been an excellent reader of people; but given her failure in realizing what Kiefer had been doing to her niece, she no longer trusted herself. However, looking at Melinda, she saw only a desire for human contact rather than that of a fist or a means to get information from them.
- "Um, I guess. I mean, with my fair skin and red hair I am the oddball in my olive-skinned dark-haired family. I suppose it is a nice change to have this little one share those traits with me. I was pretty shocked when she came… out."
Feeling Kristina's nudge in her side, she hoped that she had not said too much; her sister would surely kill her. She did not see how such a comment could be construed to mean that her teenaged niece had had the child. If anything Melinda might have thought her to be in the room at the time of the delivery; that was the truth.
- "Now, if you'll excuse us… I don't mean to be rude… but we need to take this little one home. It's almost time for her bottle and nap. – Isn't that right Pebbles?"
Kristina gathered their belongings while Tina continued to hold the baby and speak with Melinda.
- "Look, I appreciate all the advice you gave my niece. I wish I could say I'm sorry your son is in prison, but I'm not. However, I do hope… and you'll have to excuse me for overstepping… but I hope you too learn your limits and boundaries, Mrs. Bauer."
She reached out to give the woman's hand a squeeze.
- "My niece survived this… barely. I hope, for your sake, that a time doesn't come where you… where something you do or say that upsets your husband… that you… that you'll also survive."
Stepping off the launch to feel her mother's hand disconnect from her own, Molly frowned.
- "Mommy, aren't you coming with us?"
Although she hated to disappoint her daughter, she could not pretend that everything was fine and dandy. Since Sonny had left her standing in the hall, he had refused to discuss the elephant in the room. Said elephant weighed a mere twenty pounds; she had her grandmother's dimples, aunt's fair skin and red locks, and her grandfather's curly locks. The elephant that had captured their hearts had inadvertently caused some those very hearts to ache. It was not her fault.
- "Um, you know what bubblegum? I'm going to let you and Daddy have a day with one another. Mommy—"
Feeling Sonny's stare, she shut her eyes for a moment; he was judging her. She did not want to look at him while she spoke… lied.
- "Mommy's not feeling too well right now."
While Molly was disappointed, she could not expect her mother to spend time with them while ill. She knew what it meant to feel sick and missing her bed.
- "Aw! Do you want to take care of you? I can—"
Smiling at her baby's thoughtfulness, Alexis put her finger to the girl's lips.
- "I'll be fine, baby. I'm going to go home, take a nap, and when I see you later, I'll be as good as new. We'll watch a movie… just the two of us."
She placed a kiss on Molly's cheeks, whispered an 'I love you' into her ear, then gently pushed her toward her father.
- "I'll see you both later."
And for the sake of their child, Sonny kissed Alexis on her lips; he did not want Molly to feel as though her perfect little family would disintegrate. He loved the woman beyond reason, but he could not accept what they were doing and the rode that they were taking. It wasn't right.
- "Bye Lex."
Holding back her tears, she simply mouthed her goodbyes. He could feel her pain.
- "I love you."
Watching them walk hand-in-hand from the pier toward the diner she sighed. Her life was becoming a fast paced Tetris game. There was not enough time to figure out how to fit together the pieces that fell in their laps before it all piled up until… they toppled over.
- "God, what a mess."
She contemplated going back to Wyndemere to speak with her brother, but she thought better of the idea. Stefan was as impartial as they came. She did not need him to tell her that she was right when she very well might have been wrong. She needed an honest opinion.
- "Hey stranger."
Hearing the Australian accent of one of her very first friends in Port Charles, she nearly leapt from joy.
- "Jax!"
Falling into his embrace, she allowed his arms to wrap around her; she had missed him. Since he had fallen for, then married the mother of the boy who virtually sacrificed his life for Kristina's, Alexis had taken a step back from their friendship; she could not expect to have her best friend and his wife enjoy dinner in her home surrounded by her children and husband. She could not expect Carly to sit across from a man who had never thought to change for the woman; perhaps then their son's life could have been spared. There was too much pain and hurt involved in such a friendship; she could not have asked that of them.
- "Hi."
Since Michael's death had somewhat blessed her life, it was a small sacrifice to lose to Carly the man she had considered a brother so many years earlier.
- "How… how are you?"
He could not have been better. His marriage was happy, their daughter was beautiful, and their hotels were thriving. He felt blessed.
- "Not bad… no complaints. I've just returned from Fiji with Carly and Joss."
She smiled; she was happy that Carly had had another child. Joss could never have replaced Michael, but her existence certainly eased some of the pain of his loss.
- "How old is she now?"
Showing her a picture of the little girl he kept in his pocket, he beamed with pride.
- "Eighteen months."
- "She's a cutie."
Even through her smile, he saw an exhaustion, and on many levels, sadness. While they had not spoken in months, and their friendship was not what it used to be, he could still read like a book; she was, in spite of her supportive family, lonely.
- "What's going on with you? You're tanned… I'm assuming you've just come back from vacation?"
Leading him to the benches overlooking the water, she nodded.
- "Yea. The entire family—"
She stopped speaking; that was not exactly true.
- "Well, minus Sonny… he never stays longer than a month… we, the girls, Tina, Nikolas, Spencer, Stefan and I, just came back from Greece."
He gave her hand a squeeze. If she could have returned to the country, she certainly would have; everything was simpler sitting on a sandy beach watching her daughters and nephews swim in the sea. He saw the nostalgia in her eyes.
- "The girls? Does that mean Sam and Kristina are back?"
She adjusted his tie for him as she had always done when meeting him for a lunch or dinner date. It was easy to fall back into the same routine with an old friend.
- "Thankfully yes! With my little granddaughter. You should see her, Jax; she is absolutely stunning."
He did not doubt that; the Cassadine women were known for their brains and good looks.
- "Of course she is. And now that all of your girls are home, you must be beyond yourself. It certainly frees up your time."
That was true.
- "It was hard not being able to see them everyday… or being separated from Molly… and Sonny… when I'd go to Greece to spend time with Sam and Kristina—"
He noticed the pause in speaking about Sonny. He wanted to ask her what she meant, or what was wrong, but he knew it was only a matter of time before she would lay down her burdens. He gave her the gentlest kiss on the top of her head, which she had rested onto his shoulder, before resting his cheek against it.
- "I'm just happy I don't have to virtually split myself in two for my family's sake. I mean, I'm still doing it; I just don't have to do it across a large body of treacherous water and God only knows how many time zones. Now, I go across the hall, down the hall, or to the other side of the house to take care of my girls. Whether I'm doing the right thing by them is up for debate, but… I'm doing my best on this side of the Atlantic, you know?"
Her life had become a balancing act. She was standing on one-leg, at the edge of a cliff while juggling her marriage, her granddaughter, and her daughters. Without any help from her husband in relieving her of the fear that she might drop her marriage at the expense of her children and granddaughter who would always come first for her, Alexis was certain she too would fall while holding them all. And because of it, Dani would land squarely in the Bauer pit.
She sat up to look the man straight in the eyes.
- "I just don't think my best is enough… not anymore. I know that I can't make everyone happy, but given what this family has been through, I feel like I owe them the effort… I guess. I don't think it's really working… I don't think it ever did, actually."
He pulled her back into his arms. Despite their distance from one another – one he would have preferred not to have occurred – he still loved her dearly. Regardless of anything, she was his best friend.
- "I wish I could tell you that I knew it was… wait… I can tell you that, Lex… because I know you. You're an extraordinary mother. Even without your family's support you are without a doubt, and maybe with exception to Lady Jane, the best mother I know."
She could not help but smile.
- "Thank you."
But he was not finished. Giving her hand a squeeze, he continued.
- "I don't know what's going on with you and Sonny, but I can see in your face that something is—"
And before he could defend her over something he knew nothing about, she stopped him.
- "Let me ask you a question, Jax."
He obliged.
- "Sure."
Staring across the harbor at Spoon Island, she felt the tears once again fill her eyes.
- "If God forbid something ever happened to Joss… where you'd have to send her away for a long period of time… and perhaps—"
He stopped her. There was no need to complete her statement.
- "I would do whatever I could to protect my daughter."
While she felt a sense of relief at his agreement, it did not ease the weight in her heart that perhaps she had gone about everything wrong… that her apologies to her husband were not enough.
- "I know that he never approved of my choices in dealing with Kristina… sending her to Greece… I mean, I could've sent her someplace closer… consulted him more, but… there wasn't any time! How could I do anything… make decisions with him when every night, or every other night he was holed up in his den or at the restaurant drinking the night away and talking about killing Warren and Kiefer? I don't mean to rationalize anything, but I feel like I'm alone… all the time."
She wanted to say more, but she knew that she could not.
- "It's not all his fault. I know that I've been wrong… a lot. I lean too much on my family… my brother, especially; God knows that it's causing this chaos in our relationship right now… but, it's the only way to protect them… her. If there were anyway than what I'm doing to do that… someway that wouldn't have my husband feeling as though I've completely disregarded his desires, I would. I'd do anything to not be in the position that we're in, but we're here… and there's nothing we can do about that. I can't focus on if Sonny's feelings are hurt or not because… because half the time when the decisions need to be made, I can't find him… not the rational him, at least. And because of that, I know that if the tables were flipped, he would do the same exact thing… in his way, of course."
Jax scoffed at the latter portion of her statement. It was for that reason he had disapproved of her marriage to the man; he was sure that Sonny would revert to the mob the moment suited him. For the love of his best friend, he nevertheless supported her, rather than her decision.
- "Well, he would be a fool. I don't know what you're not telling me, Alexis, but I know it's something that you've done for your girls that was well-thought out, and legally executed. Whatever Sonny would have done… and I mean no disrespect to you in choosing to marry him, but the risk you took was that he would some day once again do something illegal and regrettable. Given what happened to Kristina… and I might be biased in saying this… but I think it was probably for the best you made the decisions—"
She smirked.
- "It is biased… and I love you for it, but it doesn't make me feel any better because I'm still stuck wondering if… I don't know… I didn't try hard enough to get through to him. I can make all the excuses in the world, but did I really do enough to stop him from leaving at night… or did I push him out?"
He did not have an answer for her. He simply did not know.
- "Well, I think that's something you're going to need to figure out with Sonny."
She rested her head onto his shoulder as she allowed the tears to fall. He was right.
- "And that's why I'm trying to… to fix this… everything."
- "I feel like some kind of high schooler again doing this."
Sam covered her face as they sat in her father's café waiting for Nikolas and Lucky to return; leaving her with Emily, they had excused themselves to take a long distance call from their mother.
- "Oh you're not, Sam! Lucky has been waiting for this day for awhile you know."
Sam stared incredulously at the woman.
- "That doesn't really make me feel any less ridiculous that my cousin, his girlfriend, and my aunt decided to do this. Besides—"
Emily and Nikolas had been dating for a year, but friends for far longer. Despite Sam's familial relationship with Nikolas, and her long-term relationship with Jason, Emily's brother, the women had never forged a friendship; they were mere acquaintances. In fact, Emily's best friend was the very person Sam had disliked since the moment she took Lucky from under her. It was awkward.
- "Um, isn't this kinda… I don't know… strange for you?"
Seeing the frown on her face, Sam rephrased her statement.
- "I mean, you're basically helping to set me up with your best friend's ex-husband. Conflict of interest, much? The ink on their divorce is barely dry."
That was true, but Emily also knew Lucky quite well; for as long as she had known Elizabeth, she and Lucky had also been best friends. Her position was a conflict in any direction she moved.
- "Well, look at Nikolas. He's your cousin and Lucky's brother—"
Sam interrupted.
- "Yea, but we both want the same thing… Lucky and I do—"
But Emily countered.
- "Well, what if this works, but one day you and Lucky get into a major fight? Whose side will Nik be on?"
Hers. They were Cassadines.
- "Um, he'd be on—"
Knowing somewhat how the Cassadine mindset worked, Emily stopped her from continuing.
- "He would support you both, Sam. And that's what I'm doing for Lucky. He wants to be with you; Elizabeth is done with him. I'm only helping in what'll inevitably happen… just more quickly seeing as you two, without our intervention, would move at snail's pace."
And seeing the door to the café open as Nikolas and Lucky returned, Sam could not help but smile.
- "I guess you're right."
Nikolas winked at his cousin before leaning toward his girlfriend.
- "Em, if you want to make the movie, we have to leave now."
At her nod, he smiled at his family.
- "Alright, Em and I need to get going—"
The prospective couple stared at the man; this was not what they had signed up for.
- "Wait, what the hell—"
- "Nik, I thought we were—"
Without allowing them to finish their statements, he shrugged.
- "Sorry! I'd prefer to spend some time with this one than you two. This is your… chance, I guess. As my aunt says, 'the stars are aligned!' Seize the day… I suppose."
He moved to where Sam sat; he gave her a kiss on the cheek before whispering in Greek into her ear.
- "Don't blow it… no pun intended… at least not on the first date."
For the comment, before he could move away from her, Sam had managed to punch him in the side. She leaned her head back against the booth as she watched Emily rub his side while they walked out of the café.
- "Jackass."
- "So… what do… um—"
Lucky had unintentionally spoken over her.
- "Sorry."
Staring at the man, she had to laugh at their nervousness; it was irrational.
- "What's wrong with us?"
With a smile on his face, he shrugged.
- "I have no idea. This is just… weird."
But she shook her head in amusement as she leaned forward and rested her elbows onto the table.
- "I mean, we're sitting here acting as though we haven't known each other for years! My God, Lucky; we've slept together! TWICE!"
Noticing the patrons and workers in her father's café staring at them, she blushed as she covered her face with her hands.
- "Sorry… TMI much? You'd think I would learn to shut my mouth in public. I'm convinced everyone in this town… or at least those who work for my father… know every personal thing about me because for whatever reason, I get louder and louder whenever talking about it. God, am I loud right now, Lucky? Because I'm sure they're just all waiting to learn the latest gossip in my life… the goings-on in Casa Cassadine-Corinthos."
For as long as Lucky knew her, Sam was always a rambler. It was nice to see that even after nearly two years out of contact, she had not changed much.
- "You're fine… Um…"
He handed her a menu.
- "Did you… did you want to order anything? I mean… so this isn't as… awkward. And you aren't giving too much away to the patrons here."
But just as the menu at her family's restaurant, and at Kelly's, she knew every item listed.
- "Very funny, Mr. Spencer. Um… I'm going to just… I'll ask you straight out… without any embarrassment or anything—"
Flashback
- "Nikolas, who is that?"
Watching the girl begrudgingly walk hand-in-hand toward them with a woman whom he assumed was her mother, the twelve year old nudged his older brother. The petite dark featured brunette was gorgeous.
- "Sam… she's my cousin; my OLDER cousin."
Lucky's jaw fell. He would never have guessed.
- "Are you kidding me? How much older is she, man? She can't be more than thirteen… and a half! Tops!"
Nikolas quickly responded before greeting his aunt and cousins.
- "She's fourteen, Lucky. And you don't stand a chance."
Even though English was not the boy's primary language, his cousin's influence had given him the vernacular of a teen his age.
- "Hi, Aunt Alexis, Sam, Krissy."
He gave his aunt and older cousin a kiss on either cheek while allowing Kristina to remain in her mother's arms; she was still healing from the trauma of her kidnapping.
- "Lucky, this is my aunt, Alexis Davis; Aunt, this is my brother Lucky Spencer—"
She smiled. For his courage that night on the pier, the boy's father meant the world to her.
- "It's so nice to finally meet you Lucky. Your father is a great guy; I hold him in high regard."
Lucky returned a smile to the woman; although he and his father often argued, he nevertheless admired the free-spirited man.
- "Thank you, Ms. Davis; my father seems quite taken to you as well."
Luke was a flirt, after all.
- "Well, first, you may call me Alexis; secondly, please tell him Natasha says hello."
Unsure as to whom Natasha was, the teen simply nodded.
- "I will."
Feeling her daughter try to pull her hand from her own, Alexis tightened her grip.
- "This—"
She attempted to hold up the hand with which she held Sam's, but the girl fiercely fought the action.
- "Mom!"
Sam hissed at the woman who had barely given her a moment of solitude since before her sister's safe return a week earlier. The boy before her might have been younger than she, but he was… hot; she could not believe her mother continued to hold her hand as though she were some kind of child.
- "Let go!"
But she refused; Alexis was terrified for her daughters' safety. Until Faith Roscoe was brought to justice, she kept them glued to her side.
- "Lucky, this is my daughter, Sam. Please excuse her—"
Knowing her mother would say something embarrassing, Sam instead interrupted her and blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
- "Um… nice to meet you Lucky. If you'll excuse us, I think my sister's diaper needs changing."
And having only a few words a day to say since her return, Kristina took the moment to pull her older sister's ponytail.
- "I don't wear a diaper, Sam! You do! I saw Mommy buying—"
Finally releasing Sam's hand, Alexis covered the girl's mouth.
- "Ignore her, Lucky."
But the teen was already mortified. This boy, her cousin's brother, was someone whom she would probably see for the rest of her life; she did not need the first memory he had of her to consist of her sister informing him that her mother purchased pads for her.
- "Wow… okay… Mom—"
She smiled politely at the teen before quietly whispering in Greek to the woman.
- "I want to leave, NOW. Nikolas knows his way—"
The boy interrupted.
- "Don't be rude, Sam! You just got here—"
- "Well, you aren't the one whose little sister just told some kid she's never met that I… that I have my… PERIOD."
Alexis allowed the teens to bicker back and forth while she eyed her savior's son. In many ways he resembled Luke, but in an innocent and unaffected way it was no secret that Luke was the town lush.
- "I'm sorry about them Lucky. They both know better than to argue in front of others, let alone in another language; but they do it anyway… and like cats and dogs I might add."
But Lucky did not hear a word the woman had said; he stared instead at her feisty daughter as she let out a stream of what he assumed were expletives considering the way Alexis had dragged her out of the diner to point and scream at her just outside of the door. She was older, privileged, and beautiful. Although his brother was pessimistic about his chances with her, he knew in his heart that they would one day have something. He did not know anything about her, but he knew that much.
End of Flashback
- "Are you listening to me, Lucky?"
He snapped out of his daydream to once again stare at her.
- "Sorry… I was just thinking that—"
He almost willed himself to stop speaking, but he wanted her to know how he felt… how he had always felt.
- "That I knew this day would always come."
He noticed the confusion on her face.
- "I mean that I've… I've always liked you Sam. I always wanted to talk to you outside of social gatherings where your mother convinced your uncle to allow my father and I to be invited. I wanted to be with you more than a one night stand."
She wanted to jump in exhilaration at his revelation, but she controlled herself.
- "Wow… so… um… why didn't you—"
He swallowed hard. It was hard to admit that he had been intimidated. As a Spencer, he could not admit that a Cassadine had weakened him; his father would kill him. So he stayed away as best as he could given their ties to Nikolas.
- "I guess I was a stupid teen. And when I had finally garnered the strength; you kinda blew me off—"
She rolled her eyes.
- "I did not."
But he continued.
- "For Jason. So I basically continued with my life—"
She spoke over him.
- "What did you want me to do, Lucky? You were with Elizabeth for years! I was eighteen, you were sixteen; I had to move on too—"
That was true.
- "I eventually got back together with Elizabeth… Cam was born… then we got married because it was the right thing to do—"
Mumbling under her breath, she rolled her eyes.
- "I've heard that before."
Either he did not hear her, or he chose to simply ignore her.
- "And then there was Jake… then… you."
She was not sure if she should reveal her secret, but her mouth moved quicker than her brain in stopping it.
- "You know, I got pregnant from our… you know drunken encounter—"
His mouth fell open.
- "What happ—"
While it pained her to admit what had happened, she nonchalantly answered him.
- "Miscarriage."
He was in shock; he had not been expecting that. He was not sure if the knowledge that she had been pregnant would have changed anything between them. or between Elizabeth and him, but he thought she should have at least let him know. He had a right to know.
- "Why didn't you tell me?"
She shrugged. She did not want to admit her reasoning, but since she had already gotten that far in the conversation with him, she figured she might as well be honest. Full disclosure.
- "I guess I was embarrassed. I mean, had I been able to carry further along, I would have told you… eventually… but I knew my chances. Since I got shot, the doctors were never optimistic I'd ever have a baby."
He frowned.
- "That's no reason to—"
She stopped him from continuing.
- "Like I said, uI was embarrassed because I was pregnant by a virtually married man. It was… improper… and quite frankly inappropriate. Especially for a Cassadine. And I'm not saying that I was right to not tell you, Lucky, but I didn't want you to choose me because of the baby—"
He reached out to touch her, but she pulled away from him.
- "I wanted you to choose me because it was me. It was us."
Looking in her eyes, he saw the pain that had come over her the day he had told her that he had chosen Elizabeth. He wished that he could take the pain away from her.
- "Sam—"
She stopped him.
- "I loved you, Lucky."
She smiled slightly at the man who had captured her heart when he was just a boy.
- "I… still do."
And feeling as though the planets and stars had aligned just for them… for that exact moment, he once again reached across the table to touch her.
- "Sam—"
This time she did not pull away.
- "Do you know how long I've wanted to hear you say that?"
Without a word, she shook her head.
- "I've loved you since the moment your beautiful face turned red when Kristina accused you of wearing diapers."
Not caring who saw them, he stood and took her into his arms.
- "I'm choosing you, Sam. Us."
Please leave a comment. Good, bad, ugly... I don't care. Just say something about this broken family. You must have an opinion on their current state of f*ckery. Share it.
Team Alexis or Team Sonny? Team Other?
