Title: Christmas Cake

Word Count: 700

Summary: Nobody messes with Tokio—nobody.

A/N: An unusual bit of cultural trivia inspired this one; in Japan, on Christmas Eve, you go out to a bakery and buy a Christmas Cake, and any that haven't been sold by December 25th have their prices drastically reduced so as to sell them off before they're no good. Back in the '80s, any woman not married by her 25th birthday was referred to as a "Christmas Cake," the understanding being that she was now past her prime and would have to settle for what she could get and lower her standards. This expression has now fallen out of use, as most younger people have never even heard of it. Well enough of that—enjoy!


He had no idea how old she was exactly (because for some odd reason she refused to tell him), but Saitou knew that she had to be older than twenty, because he'd known her for six years now and most businesses didn't hire snot-nosed teenagers to important positions like being Associate Director of a museum.

And this was perfectly fine by him, even if it did make him feel vaguely pedophilic, because even though she probably wasn't that much younger than him she looked like a frickin' kid. But that was okay, because he figured she was of legal age already, so he wasn't lusting after a minor like some dirty old man, and wasn't being a complete hypocrite when he arrested those dirty old men he didn't want to be like. One because he wasn't old (damn it), and two because they tended to be creepy and while he was something of a dick (okay, he was a huge dick), he was not creepy.

So, in summation, he was fine with guessing how old Tokio was, because she had to be over twenty and he was cool with that.

And then came the fateful day that one of the luncheonette patrons called her "Christmas Cake."

The guy was new to the luncheonette, and was, in Saitou's estimation, a humongous dickhead, which was saying a lot coming from him. It started because Tokio came in and set her purse down on the counter too close to him by accident, and he sent her a nasty look and loudly said,

"Oi Christmas Cake, mind moving your bag? I'm eatin' here."

The entire luncheonette quieted and watched the man in horrified silence. Shiori's gaze flickered from the man to Tokio, and then to Saitou, who was watching the man with narrowed eyes that bespoke of much pain for Humongous Dickhead in the very near future. Tokio, however, only blinked and smiled and bowed her head in apology.

"I'm very sorry to disturb you sir," she said, picking up her purse and moving it so it sat between her and Saitou. "That was very careless and thoughtless of me."

"Don't apologize," Saitou growled, glaring at the man.

Tokio sent him a warning look.

"Heel, Wolf," she said dryly.

Several choice words later, Saitou was still glaring at the man but had moved out of attack mode at Tokio's behest, and she began their usual game as if nothing had happened. And he knew she really didn't care, because she had different priorities from other women he'd known, but it still pissed him the fuck off because there was nothing wrong with her the way Humongous Dickhead had been implying when he'd called her "Christmas Cake." He'd have tossed her over his shoulder and taken her home and done some very naughty things to her and with her, if only she'd let him. She just wasn't married yet because….

Okay, so he didn't know why, but she was a very intelligent woman and he knew she had a very good reason for not being married yet and it had nothing to do with her being inadequate in any way as a woman because she was fucking perfect.

So there.

He lingered and didn't leave until Humongous Dickhead did, because he'd only promised not to hurt the guy in the luncheonette, and Saitou was bound and determined to make him eat his words. So he left her with his usual parting shot and she rolled her eyes and seemed to have forgotten the whole incident. Which was great, because when he showed up at the luncheonette the next day and she noticed he was favoring his left hand and asked him what happened, she didn't think anything of it when he dryly replied,

"Oh just some ahou who overstepped his bounds."

Tokio sent him an exasperated look and lectured him on picking fights.

Shiori smiled widely at him and gave him his meals on the house for a week.

And it wasn't as good as having Tokio know he'd defend her honor with all he had, but it was okay compensation—he didn't have to pay for his beloved soba for an entire week, at least.