Dear readers,
Another update! I've basically just been writing (and watching films) for the past couple of days so I have another chapter finished for you, and I can promise you the next chapter; the conversation between Blaine and his dad, on the weekend! This chapter contains my back-story for Adam, which is very detailed because my brain doesn't do things in halves, and a cameo appearance from another character that I have been waiting to write since, like, chapter 15! I think that's one of the reasons writing this part of the story is happening so quickly because some of these scenes I have had in my head for months and months, and I finally get to write them! Oh, and thank you for your continued support, and to those who've reviewed, favourited, alerted etc.
Enjoy!
Sopphires.
"Duty is what one expects from others." ― Oscar Wilde
Kurt checked the time on his phone, looking around nervously and biting on the inside of his lip. He had said that he'd meet Adam for coffee at 4:30, and it was now 4:35, and Kurt was standing outside Starbucks all alone. Kurt kept reminding himself that it was only five minutes past the decided time so Adam was probably just running late after a lesson, or involved in one of his conversations that always took twice as long as he intended them to, but he couldn't escape the overwhelming fear that maybe Adam had stood him up. Obviously, there was no logical reason for Adam doing that because, well, he'd told Kurt on numerous occasions throughout that day that he was looking forward to coffee so unless, in reality, he was heartless, sick bastard that got kicks out of tearing down the self-esteem of younger students, which Kurt firmly believed he wasn't, then why was he late? Urgh! Why wasn't the entire world as punctual as Kurt?
"Did I mention you looked rather dashing today?" Kurt genuinely jumped, heart hammering, at the sound of Adam's voice coming from behind him. He spun around, light flush tingeing his cheeks, mouth open in shocked indignation even though he was also smiling.
"Stop doing that!" he exclaimed as Adam grinned at him, looking both highly amused and perfectly innocent.
"Only when you start taking my compliments," replied Adam in a firm voice. "Now, did I mention that you look rather dashing today?" Kurt rolled his eyes, heaving a huge sigh as if the business of Adam's flattery was incredibly tiresome to him, and then looked Adam right in the eye.
"Yes, you did, twice now, but thank you for mentioning it. I like your hat – it's a very nice shade of blue."
"Why thank you, Kurt," said Adam, beaming at him and then gesturing to the door. Kurt walked in first, trying to calm all the nerves inside of him because was this a date, or were they just having coffee, and on that note, why had Kurt suggested they got a coffee when a huge part of his relationship with Blaine had centred around a coffee shop? "I apologise for making you wait," he added once they'd stepped inside and noticed that it was exceptionally busy. "I was talking to some Apples and lost track of time." Kurt snorted a little bit, breaking out into a little bit of laughter, and Adam frowned at him. Kurt shook his head.
"Sorry, it's just when you say 'I was talking to some Apples' it really does sound like you need to be sectioned, or something." Adam rolled his eyes, snorting to himself.
"Yes, well, that's a risk I'm prepared to take in life. Now, why don't you find us a table, and I'll get the coffees because this place is packed like sardines." Kurt arched his eyebrow slightly at the simile but nodded in agreement. After telling Adam his coffee order and watching him walk to the queue, Kurt turned around and began to wend his way towards the back of the coffee shop, spotting a table that was covered in rubbish but was mercifully unoccupied. Wrinkling his nose in disgust and draping his coat over the back of one of the chairs in the hope that someone wouldn't try and take the table, he picked up all the rubbish and made his way to the bin. He'd dumped it in and was about to proceed back to his table when a familiar voice called;
"Kurt Hummel?" and Kurt blinked and spun around, mouth dropping open in shock as he laid eyes upon none other than Chandler Kiehl, who had got up from his table and was making his way over to him. Kurt laughed a little in surprise.
"Chandler!" he exclaimed. "What a surprise!"
"Isn't it just!" cried the other boy, pressing his hands together and beaming in a manner that Kurt had once found endearing but was now frankly alarming. "I can't believe this! What are the odds?" Kurt nodded, fighting against the memory of Blaine in Miss Pilsbury's office and everything that had been said. "Now, I heard from a little birdie that somebody got into NYADA at the Winter Showcase by singing Mika. I am dying to know if the rumours are true."
"Yes," said Kurt, rolling his eyes and smiling faintly. "I did – I sang Happy Ending." Chandler stared at him for a moment, and Kurt knew that he was going through his mental filing cabinet of songs and reminding himself which one that was. Then his face fell slightly and his eyes widened.
"What happened between you and Blaine?" he demanded. "I so got the impression that you guys were like true-love-it's-meant-to-be!" Kurt felt his face fall and did his utmost best not to shoot Chandler a fierce, deadly glare.
"It didn't work out; he cheated on me, we broke up." Chandler gasped, and then his eyes lit back.
"So are you here with anyone?" he questioned, and Kurt couldn't work out whether it was meant to be suggestive or not because he just looked hyperactive, but then nodded.
"Yes, um, Adam," he pointed to him in the queue, and Chandler let out a mini squeal that caused several other patrons to look at them in disturbed alarm.
"Oh, he's a definite catch!" exclaimed Chandler, looking back at him with that same, huge grin. Kurt nodded in agreement, although he was now slightly distracted by the sight of Adam striking up conversation with the guy in front of him in the queue that kept making the unknown guy (whose nose was too big, whose hair was greasy, and whose face was spotty and covered in a sheen of sweat – or so Kurt suspected) laugh.
"I take it you got into NYU, then?" he asked, quickly and efficiently diverting the conversation from his entangled love life. Chandler's eyes lit up some more at the prospect of talking about himself.
"Yes! Oh, wasn't that wait just awful! I swear, I nearly had a heart attack when the letter came! My entire fate enclosed in a little white envelope, and my mum made me wait until my family was all there! Three hours of sitting there knowing that the answer to everything is just a couple of feet away and yet not knowing what it is – actually thought I might die! But, obviously, I didn't, and now I'm here in the city of dreams! Oh! I thought I might die!" Kurt nodded along, getting a little bit annoyed by the way he kept saying he'd nearly died; he supposed the news of his dad's cancer was still near the forefront of his mind and was making him a little sensitive to that, even though he knew – really knew – that his dad was going to be okay. "...and the lessons are fantastic! Oh, and my dance instructor! Hot!" he almost sang in a high pitched tone of voice, fanning himself, and Kurt, having just tuned back in, nodded rather blankly. "Seriously, a killer physique and definitely swinging our way, but far too many morals to ever start something! Still, a guy can dream, can't he?" Kurt nodded once more, beginning to feel glad that he hadn't contacted Chandler again – he was really annoying.
"Hem hem," he looked away at the sound of someone clearly their throat and made eye contact with Adam, who was standing behind Chandler, which made the other boy to jump, and surveying the scene with a mildly confused frown.
"Adam!" exclaimed Kurt in relief. "Hi!" Adam raised his eyebrows, looking at Chandler with a rather alarmed expression on his face that said he'd probably heard him speak.
"Hi, am I interrupting anything?" Kurt shook his head, wanting to glare but more relieved by Adam's presence, and Chandler let out a small giggle, shooting Kurt a wink.
"I'll just be going! Bye Kurt! Bye Adam!" With that the hyperactive, motor-mouth practically skipped away. Adam shot Kurt a disturbed look as they moved back to the table that was still, remarkably unoccupied except for Kurt's jacket.
"Should I be worried?" he asked as they sat down, Adam handing him the warm cup of coffee, and Kurt shook his head, feeling a little bit flustered.
"No! That's- that's just...it's just Chandler." Adam's eyebrows remained quirked in a curious manner.
"Dare I ask how you know him?" Kurt sighed, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of the coffee.
"I met him in a sheet music shop, and he just started talking to me..."
"And I'm guessing he didn't stop," commented Adam, glancing over in the direction that Chandler had gone and still looking rather disturbed by the whole encounter. Kurt snorted, shaking his head.
"No..." he sighed, taking another sip of coffee and then deciding that he might as well tell Adam the whole truth. "it's a little complicated, but basically, me and Blaine – my ex – weren't going through a great phase; he was acting really distant and everything, and Chandler just- he just paid me a lot of attention and complimented me and made me feel really good about myself through our texts. Then Blaine found them, and he got rather hypocritically annoyed with me and accused me of cheating on him, and then he eventually admitted that he was just upset because I was going to go to New York and NYADA, and he was going to still be in Lima, and he just wanted to get used to life without me..." he trailed off, feeling wistful and angry at Blaine for reacting like that and then cheating on him. "Anyway, I severed contact with him because I thought he wasn't worth losing Blaine over..." he sighed, looking at the table.
"Kurt," began Adam, and Kurt looked up to meet his gaze, noticing the way that his head was tilted to the side and he was staring at him in a calculating manner. "would I be right in guessing this break-up was pretty recent?" Kurt sighed.
"Actually, it happened around the end of October so it's not that recent – it's just things were complicated and drawn out, and they're still "unresolved" but I don't really care about that anymore, or at least I'm trying to not care." Adam nodded in an understanding manner, and something about his silence spurred Kurt into talking; "The short of the long is that he cheated on me with some guy, and he came up to New York, and he told me this after he serenaded me with this rendition of the song he sang the first time we met, and he said he was sorry, and that it didn't mean anything, and he did it because he was lonely, and I wasn't there, and I didn't answer my phone all the time because I was working at Vogue. com! And he couldn't handle that so he went and slept with some other guy."
"Seriously?" demanded Adam, eyebrows arching. "But he was your boyfriend, surely he had to know that you getting a job at Vogue is like a demi-god being allowed to live on Mount Olympus full time!" Kurt arched his eyebrow, trying to keep his mouth straight and the fact that he was so glad for Adam's presence in that second a secret by projecting an incredulous, where-the-hell-did-that-come-from?-I'm-now-worried -for-your-sanity look onto him. Adam held up a hand, shaking his head. "Don't ask. What I mean, is that he was your boyfriend, and so it was his job to love you and to support you and your decisions. He failed in that, not you. This is on him." Kurt took a deep breath, heartened by Adam's words and knew he felt better for hearing them.
"I take that's you being astute," he joked, lips curling up at the sides in a knowing smile. Adam gave him a very serious nod, and they both shared the comfort of the private joke before Kurt decided that he was ready to continue. "and then his friend turned up at my apartment, and he started asking about this guy called Eli and whether Blaine had mentioned him and that Blaine was in trouble and that it involved someone else in the Warblers, and I was worried..." he shook his head. "That was a bad move on my part. We went down to see their performance of Grease, and I discovered he was all pally with the Warblers again even though they'd ditched him last year, and I overheard him telling them – Wes; the guy that turned up at my apartment, David and Sebastian – that it was his fault, and they kept insisting that it wasn't, and then they said it wasn't, and that they could help, and they knew, and he had some form of emotional breakdown, and he made them promise not to tell me, and they said they wouldn't."
"That's- that's a really jerk-ish move." Kurt snorted again, nodding in agreement to Adam's comment.
"Yep, anyway, I went back to New York, but this stuff was just on my mind, and I needed answers, you know? I needed to know so my boss actually let me use her frequent flyer miles, and I came down for Thanksgiving. I went to Sectionals and watched the Warblers win, and Blaine walked off with them – Sebastian, David and Thad. I went the next day to visit him; to get answers, and Sebastian opened the door, only decent because of a towel." Adam choked on some coffee causing him to cough as he set his cup down.
"Did he know you were there?" he asked, and Kurt nodded, watching as Adam's expression soured and then became rather cold. "No offence or anything, but he sounds like a jerk." Kurt shrugged.
"Yeah, well, we had this argument about what had happened, and he refused to tell me and said he was doing it for my good, and I remember just being so angry, mainly because of Sebastian, so I was yelling, and I think we were both crying. Then Sebastian came crashing in and said that Thad had tried to commit suicide, but he's okay now," he added hastily as Adam's eyes widened in alarm. "He came out to his parents and told them about this thing – whatever it was – and-"
"Oh so he was the other boy they were worried about!" Kurt shot him annoyed glare for interrupting, even though it was proof that Adam was actually paying attention to him. Adam held up his hands. "Sorry." Kurt rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, he was the other guy they were worrying about. So basically, that's about it, really; I just know that it was really bad what happened, and that, apparently, the reason Blaine didn't try to kill himself like Thad did was because...was because of me..." There was a heavy pause between them until Adam reached over and placed a hand on his forearm. Kurt hesitantly dragged his gaze from the pattern of flecked spots on the table, raking it over Adam's pale hand and the slight amount of foam that was hanging over the edge of his coffee cup, and finally up into Adam's eyes.
He was met with what he needed exactly: Adam's eyes were steadily fixed onto him; his expression was even if slightly concerned and his entire body was open and accepting. He somehow managed to exude an air of...Kurt couldn't think of he right word...there was just no judgement in Adam at all. He didn't place blame on Kurt, or on anybody really. He was simply a silent presence that soothed Kurt's nerves that had been electrified by residual worry and care.
"You know, I'm thinking we should divert the conversation somewhere a little less sensitive, and a bit more happy." His cheerful grin lit up his face instantly at that as he removed his hand from Kurt's arm, and Kurt wondered how on earth he managed to turn that on and off like a light switch.
"It's fine; the story's basically finished. He moved back to Dalton after what happened to Thad, but I'm pretty sure that Sebastian being there had a lot do with it. He seems happy as well..."
"Which you can't deal with because how can he be happy when something terrible as happened to him and he broke up with because it was best for you, and if you're not happy with the result than how can he possibly be?" Kurt snorted, rolling his eyes slightly and nodding.
"Yes, thank you, Mr Astute." Adam tipped his head in a gentlemanly gesture.
"You're very welcome Mr Hummel." They both shared a laugh at that, taking long gulps of their coffee, and then Adam's face fell into a frown. "Dalton...why do I know that name?" Kurt set down his coffee cup, frowning briefly before the answer hit him, and then he rolled his eyes because it was obvious.
"You saw the gay-pride protest with Do You Hear the People Sing?, didn't you?" Adam nodded, shooting him a look that said "of course", and Kurt arched his eyebrow back at him, telling him that he ought to be able to figure it out from there. Adam frowned for a moment before it hit him.
"Ohh! They were the school in the uniform – the ones protesting." Kurt nodded.
"Yeah, and the school they were at was McKinley – that was my old school – and they mentioned the New Directions in the description; that was my old glee club." Adam nodded. "And actually, you know there were three singers at the beginning-" Adam nodded once more. "-well the one that started it; that's Sebastian, the second soloist was Blaine, and the third one was Thad; the one who tried to kill himself. Oh, and the other two at the end were Nick and Jeff – they're all Warblers...that's their show choir." Adam nodded some more.
"So wait, your rivals are actually your friends?" he asked in a slightly bemused tone of voice. "When I set up the Adam's Apples I was told that show choir was highly competitive." Kurt heaved a huge sigh, shrugging.
"It's a bit complicated," he explained. "Basically, they were our friends for a year, and then they weren't, and now they're all friends again, I think. What happened was that in my Junior year, the Warblers were our competition at Sectionals, and I was being bullied really badly by this one person, but it's fine, it's a long story, but he's okay now, actually. Anyway, I went and spied on the Warblers, and then I met Blaine, and he was really lovely to me, and I basically just fell for him in that instant, and he explained that Dalton had a zero-tolerance for harassment policy, which made it seem like heaven. Anyway, I eventually transferred there, and it was okay; a little bit restrictive, but I was safe and happy, and I got together with Blaine too, but I transferred back to McKinley before the end of the year. Then the next year, Blaine transferred to McKinley too, and then Sebastian came to Dalton. He was a complete arsehole. He really just wanted to get Blaine into bed. He was so smarmy, and he has a stupid meerkat face, and-" Adam let out a spluttering laugh at Kurt's description, breaking out into hysterics. Kurt watched, eyebrow arched because Adam had never met Sebastian and so had no idea how much of an accurate description that was.
"Sorry!" said Adam, holding up a hand. "That's a brilliant insult! I need to remember that in case I ever encounter someone that resembles a meerkat, or is Russian and has a red/maroon dressing gown." Kurt arched an eyebrow, looking at him in a confused manner. Adam shook his head. "Sorry, right, yeah...That's a joke that you won't understand because we're in the wrong country... You were saying?"
"Well," said Kurt, still mildly perturbed by what Adam had just said. "a very long story short. We were having a competition between ourselves to see who got to perform Michael Jackson at Regionals, and he threw a slushee at me, but Blaine leapt in the way, and he needed surgery, and Sebastian could have blinded him, and then just before Regionals, he tried to blackmail us into not performing by photoshopping these pictures of my step-brother that have scarred me for the rest of my life, but he eventually back out when...You remember I said that the guy who bullied me really badly is fine now? Well, he wasn't so fine last year, and he was outed, and he tried to commit suicide, but he was okay, but that caused Sebastian to apologise and apparently change his ways." Kurt stopped talking, swallowing and breathing as steadily as he could because he had rushed through that without stopping for air. He took another long drink from his coffee and watched the long on Adam's face transition from one of attentive listening through to confusion before settling upon bafflement.
"So," he began slowly with a frown. "you're telling me that your ex-boyfriend is going out with the guy that almost blinded him?" Kurt nodded once, marginally pleased with the fact that talking about this was getting a little less painful each time he did it, although there was still a definite twinge inside of him that made him want to move the conversation on because he could handle discussing it, but lingering on the topic was another matter.
"Yep," he said, nodding again. Adam blinked a couple of times.
"That's insane," he commented, finally. "No, really, that's insane – your ex is insane. I mean, who in their right mind does that?" Kurt shrugged, deciding not to point out that, after whatever terrible thing had happened to him, Blaine probably wasn't in his right mind all of the time. "Insane," muttered Adam again, shaking his head from side to side until the happy smile popped back onto his face. Kurt rolled his eyes at the expression, guessing that Adam was trying to alleviate any tension, and felt the urge to change track growing because he didn't really want to get into this anymore. He'd been incredibly honest with Adam, and he was really glad of that because now everything was out in the open because now Adam knew exactly what kind of baggage he was carrying around. In fact, that gave Kurt the right to ask;
"So what about you? Have you had a boyfriend recently?" Adam sighed, and Kurt could see the happy smile fall from his face. He felt bad immediately for prying even though he was entitled, technically, to the truth. "I'm sorry," he said, hastily, pulling out an understanding expression. Adam's smile jumped back onto his face, and he waved it away, taking a sip of coffee.
"It's fine, Kurt, fine!" he assured him in that lovely English accent. "Like you I've only actually ever had one boyfriend – we broke up just before I came to NYADA, and I haven't had a proper one since; only a couple of flings and one-night stands that didn't mean anything." He sighed again, that same downcast look falling onto his face. "I guess I understand how you feel because we had a really bad break up...There was a huge betrayal of trust..." Kurt tilted his head to the side, not saying anything so that Adam knew he was listening.
"It's kind of complicated," he admitted eventually. "but, essentially, I have a dual citizenship, right? I was technically born in the US, but then my parents moved back to the UK: my dad is English too, and he's a cellist, but my mum is from the US, and she's a singer – nothing major, she's mainly in choruses and back-up singers. They met here when they were working on Broadway, but anyway, they moved to the UK when I was one, and we stayed in London until I was six whilst they were working in the West End – that's the longest I've ever stayed put in one place, which is sad – but then they got divorced. Well, I say got divorced, that and the custody battle actually took about three years in total, and I was bounced around to different relatives between here and England whilst they went off and worked different jobs and danced around their various issues and crap. When I was nine, I came back to the US, and I stayed here with my mum – we didn't stay in one place, though because she was on tours a lot of the time, and she always took me with her – until I was twelve, and then my dad demanded me back. I was in England up until I was eighteen, but we started off in Manchester, and then when I was fourteen my dad wanted me to do my GCSEs and A Levels, which were a total waste of time, so he decided that we should stay put in London."
"GCS- what?" asked Kurt, eyebrow arching. Adam rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair and stretching.
"Yeah, General Certificate of Standard...Secondary..." he trailed off, frowning, as Kurt snorted in amusement. "Something Education. Okay, I don't actually know what the "S" stands for in that. Either way, they're these pointless qualifications that I have as well as AS and A levels...I think A levels are Advanced levels, but god only knows what the "AS" stands for." Kurt chuckled, smiling at him, as Adam shook his head, disparaging expression on his face.
"Why were they pointless?" he asked, eventually, guessing that the story of his boyfriend would be told out of this and that the tale he was telling now was relevant back-story. Besides, he could see Adam's familiar enthusiasm and confidence coming through and so this was obviously giving him the strength to get through the bad part. Adam rolled his eyes.
"I only applied for conservatoires, and they're really not that bothered about your grades. I mean, I know someone who got into the Central School of Speech and Drama, and the required grades were something like three Cs at A level, and they got one C, one D and a U, and they still got a place, and I know of someone else that got into the Royal Academy of Music and didn't have any grades because they just spent all their time at home practising." Kurt arched his eyebrows, thinking that that sounded incredibly dull, and a tiny bit sad, because it was nice to have a passion and something you very talented at that, but it sounded lonely and depressing to just be focused on one thing.
"What did you get in your exams?" he asked, intrigued by the older boy before him whose smile was dazzling and his gaze and voice combined rather hypnotic.
"Err..." he said, chuckling in a self-deprecating manner. "well, I did pretty well in my GCSEs – got two A*s in Music and Drama, naturally, and then As in both Englishs as well as French, Bs in Maths and History and two Cs in science, which I absolutely worked really hard to get and didn't spend the time I should have been revising for those learning lines for the various plays I was planning to audition for in the summer..." Kurt laughed, rolling in his eyes and smiling indulgently at him. "As for my A levels...well, when I decided I was going to be auditioning for drama schools the priorities sort of switched around from school work first, drama second to drama first, school work second. I got Bs in my ASs in Music and Theatre Studies, though, and a D in English lit...and an U in English language, but I didn't pay attention in those lessons or revise and turned up in the exam and got very confused with the paper – I had no idea what was going on..." Kurt laughed some more, tipping his head back as he did so, vaguely wondering if he was making a fool of himself with all his giggling, but Adam was grinning and laughing too – Kurt wasn't thinking at all about how really loved the sound of that – and so he reckoned that made it okay. "It actually worked out pretty well for me in the end, though, because I managed an A in Theatre Studies, a B in Music, which was only because I did well in my performances and got a good AS mark, and a C in English, which was only because I revised the plays – we did Shakespeare, and I loved it. I mean, I didn't study any of the poetry or the prose, but I did the plays well!"
"I believe you!" said Kurt in a tone of voice that might have come out as slightly patronising, but Adam just laughed at that so Kurt presumed it couldn't have been too bad.
"Well, anyway, sorry, I told you the story the long way round. The point is that jumping around all over the place left me, you know, kind of lonely, and pretty insecure, too. I learnt how to be the wonderfully charming man that sits before you today because it's the easiest way to make friends when you're new in school, and I got really into drama and music because it kept reality at bay. Even so, though, the friends I made I didn't keep, and I never really felt like I belonged anywhere, and then I went to my last high school...It was actually a really great place; filled to the brim with Westminster and St Pauls rejects, but still a nice place. I got a boyfriend in year eleven – about the equivalent of Sophomore year, or 10th grade, whatever you want to call it – and he was just..." Adam trailed off, eyes glazing over, and Kurt knew that he was being zoomed back through the years to all the rose-tinted good days that he'd experienced. Kurt knew how easy it was to be sucked into the vortex of everything that they'd lost so he cleared his throat loudly.
"He was just what?" he asked, arching his eyes, as Adam jolted and fought for his cheery grin as he slipped over the emotions of everything that had happened to him.
"For about two years, he was just perfect: he gave me the courage to come out properly because he'd asked me out, he stayed up late rehearsing with me even though he had loads of work to do and hated musicals and wasn't a big reader, he came to every opening night of every performance, and if my dad couldn't make it for whatever reason, he'd always be there in his seat so that I was never disappointed, he was there to comfort me if I got rejected and celebrate when I got a part however small..." he grinned, tightly, telling Kurt that he was still pained and haunted by whatever happened between them. "In return, I did whatever I could for him: I'd be by his side whenever he needed support against parent's homophobia, I practically learnt A level Biology and Chemistry – another reason why I failed English – even though I didn't understand it so that I could test him, I went to all his concerts and accompanied him on the piano when he solos on his oboe...We had our whole futures planned out before us: he'd do medicine at Cambridge whilst I studied at RADA, and even though we were in different cities we'd stay together, and we'd see each other every weekend, and it'd all still be perfect." He snorted bitterly, and Kurt nodded in agreement, eyes falling to the table surface at the painful reminder of his and Blaine's relationship.
"Plans that say everything is going to "stay perfect" are always terrible ones, aren't they?" he said, attempting a rather blithe tone of voice and missing completely, but it didn't matter because Adam's eyes were sparkling with laughter as his lips curved upwards, even though the rest of his face was still rather grave.
"Yes, exactly! Too bad that's a lesson you only get if you learn it through experience." Kurt nodded, rolling his eyes and tutting at the way the universe worked. Adam laughed, shaking his head and picking up a napkin. Kurt watched as he rolled up and began to twist it between his fingers seemingly without noticing. "So as you've astutely pointed out, the plan was doomed from the offset, but we didn't notice things were going wrong until he got rejected from Cambridge. I say rejected, he got pooled first, but another College didn't pick him up. I mean, this isn't that surprising because it's medicine at Cambridge, but he was still really upset about it. This was in January, but he did get an offer from Imperial College in London so things started to look up again, at least from my point of view because I was still going through the RADA – Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, did I say that earlier? I don't remember...never mind. – audition process. I didn't get rejected until May, but I got into NYADA, which my mum told me to apply for, in early June. I was really upset that we were going to have to be so far apart so I didn't tell him until after we'd finished our exams in late June. To say that he was upset about the situation like I was would be incorrect, he was more furious. He basically beat the crap out of me-" Kurt gasped, hand flying up to cover his mouth, eyes also bugging open, in horrified shock. Adam nodded, lips pressed together in a firm, uncompromising line. "-and told me that, apparently, it was my fault that he didn't get into Cambridge because I'd made him do all those rehearsals, and so I owed it to him, and so I had to turn down NYADA." Kurt let out a shaky breath, feeling slightly sick.
"How badly were you hurt?" Adam shrugged, shaking his head and looking over Kurt's shoulder for a moment before meeting his eyes.
"Pretty badly...I stumbled out of my house, and he was chasing me, and I remember wanting to get to the theatre that my dad was working at, even though I'm pretty sure he wasn't there at the time, and I don't remember what happened next because I blacked out at some point. I woke up in hospital three hours later with my boyfriend by my side. I was so scared when I saw him, and he told me that I had been hit by a speeding car, and that I didn't remember anything, and anything I thought I remembered was due to brain damage. He also said that because he'd "saved my life" that I owed him even more, and so I had to stay by his side...He also said my dad would never forgive me, or speak to me again, if I went to New York because I'd be siding with my mum...I have never been that frightened in my life, and I think I was tempted to go through with it, but then my dad wanted to speak to me alone, and he said that he'd found out from mum that I'd gotten into NYADA. He said he was really proud of me, which was surprising, and so I told him the truth. I had an emotional breakdown halfway through, and I think I went into shock when I reached the end because I blacked out again..."
"I'm so sorry," whispered Kurt, staring at him with wide, horrified eyes and taking his silence and distorted expression as an invitation to speak. Adam shrugged, casual expression appearing on his face once more as he dropped the napkin back onto the table.
"It's fine, but I learnt an important lesson, Kurt; we have a duty towards our boyfriends because that's how this thing works, but they also have an equal duty towards us, and sometimes, stuff just isn't our fault – sometimes it really can be all on them. Michael conveniently managed to overlook the fact that I spent many sleepless nights, as I've previously said, helping him prepare for his interview and learning all that science crap. I did as much for him as he did for me." Adam shook his head. "My dad, and my mum too, they drilled it into my head after that incident that it wasn't my fault: there is pretty much nothing on earth I could have done that would mean I deserved getting hit 'cause you know what? As his long term boyfriend, actually just as a person, he has a duty to me and that does not in any way involve him harming me. It's the same with you, Kurt; your boyfriend had a duty to you to take care of you and not hurt you – he failed in that most fundamental duty, and it is really on him."
Kurt swallowed, incredibly moved by Adam's story, and utterly appalled at what he had suffered. Yes, Blaine's betrayal was a weeping wound; slowly healing but still oozing with pain, but it was nothing when compared to the treatment that Adam had endured at the hands of somebody that supposedly loved him. He could understand better, now, Adam's cheerful disposition; he kept himself on good terms with everyone whilst also keeping them at arm's length to prevent himself from harm. Kurt knew how that felt; to need people close but not too close, and he also felt a little bit of hopeful pride swell up inside of him because Adam was allowing him in very willingly. He understood what Rachel had said better now as well – things moved quicker in New York, and Kurt could already feel himself slipping and sliding down into the depths of romantic emotions that he would rather avoid, especially as Blaine was still in the mix somewhere down there.
"I'm really, really sorry," he said, finding himself unable to say anything more because saying that he understood would be wrong because he didn't understand what Adam had been through on any level. Adam reached forward, placing his fingertips against Kurt's. Kurt felt the tell-tale shivers run up his arm, similar to what he'd felt when he'd met Blaine but nowhere near as intense (he was ignoring his desire to analyse that), and he sucked in a nervous breath. Adam shot him a little smile.
"It takes a lot of time, Kurt, but I think you have a firm grasp on the fact that this is not your fault, and you're confident, and you're self-assured. I'm not going to lie; when I came here my self-esteem was at rock bottom, it was one of the reasons I founded the Adam's Apples, actually, because it was a way for me to interact with people in a manner that was open and honest whilst not being quite so...real because it's not face to face talking – it's the conversation of the soul, instead. You, on the other hand, know that you are awesome. I get the feeling that you're going to be fine." Kurt smiled at him, knowing that Adam was being both honest and...not true, but Adam understood: he wasn't about to ply him with false platitudes because that never did anything.
"Thank you," he commented, tipping his head in gratitude. Adam beamed at him, that familiar, heart-stopping smile on his face.
"I'm glad that you've learnt how to take a compliment." Kurt arched one eyebrow at him and frowned with the other one, looking rather disapproving.
"I have never needed to learn how to take a compliment because my naturally awe-inspiring grace and beauty, not to mention sublime taste in fashion, has meant that compliments are constantly showered upon me." Adam rolled his eyes, laughing and shaking his head.
"Sure, Kurt, of course," he replied, scathingly.
"Hey!" exclaimed Kurt in indignation, and they both kept up the pretence of hurt for a moment before breaking striaght back down into laughter.
It took until Adam went up to get more coffees for Kurt to fully comprehend what it had meant to have Adam's fingertips touching his as he could still feel the faint after touch of their presence like the last beam of the sun casting a deep purple line across the sky until the great orb sank to give some other part of the world its much needed light. He understood, then, when Adam had seated himself opposite him again after handing him the coffee, and their hands had resumed their previous position of being tip to tip that he had found the thing that he had been searching for; the act of their scant contact was the physical manifestation of the start of something new.
