Wow. I am in awe. As of my typing this chapter, I am now the proud owner of both the most reviewed story in one piece fanfiction, and the longest! I'm absolutely gob-smacked. I've suddenly become the Chuunin Exam Day of the one piece community. Well, maybe not that… Rune still has most chapters… but given how this is dragging on, that won't last long either.
No matter! I still wouldn't be in the position that I am in without you, my faithful viewers! I love you guys so damn much, you know that? So, in honor of my fans, I'm writing this one out extra-fast! Don't expect this kind of speed every time, though… hmm, if that's true, then maybe I should take down that 5/10 review thing after all the chapters… it'd be just fishing for reviews then, and that's not fair…
Disclaimer: don't own.
"WOO-HOO!!!" Luffy cheered as they chain of ships soared down the mountain, straight down through the clouds they just climbed through. "Hahaha!! This is great!!" The giddy happiness exuding from his was contagious, as nearly all of the straw hats sported face-splitting grins. "We're finally here!!"
"Grooooooooooaaa…" a low moaning sound echoed out from below. Zoro frowned.
"Hey, did you hear that?"
"What!?" Nami shouted.
"I just heard a strange noise!!"
"Must've been the wind!!"
"No, I heard it too!!" Alvida shouted from the steering wheel. "Sounded like a foghorn!"
"There're a lot of rock formations that could've made that noise!!" Nami shouted back, her ire rising.
"But what if it's not!?" Alvida retorted. Nami had no response that wouldn't devolve into a 'did not, did so' fight. The point was moot, anyway, as a shadow rose up in the cloud. Usopp squinted and adjusted his goggles, trying to make out the shape.
"OI!! I think I see a mountain up ahead!"
"A mountain!? It can't be!" Nami shouted to the sniper.
"But I can see it from here, Nami-san!!" Sanji shouted from his position hanging from the ropes.
"There shouldn't be anything from to the twin capes but open sea!!" Luffy's eyes widened, and he jerked his head to the three ships ahead of them.
"Oh, shit…! Laboon!!" he whispered. He jumped up and inhaled, before beginning to scream. "STRAW HAT ARMADA, HARD TO PORT!!! AS SOON AS YOU GET OUT OF THE CANAL, HARD TO PORT!!!! HARD TO PORT!!!!" he raced up to the steering wheel, ripping it out of Alvida's hands, just as they shot out of the cloud.
"UWAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" everybody on each ship screamed. Suddenly, there was a flurry of activity as each ship tried to dodge out of the way of the massive whale.
"It's not a mountain!!! It's a black wall!!!" Sanji screamed.
"Wrong!! It's-!!" Nami shouted.
"Then what the hell is it!?" Zoro cut her off.
"IT'S A WHALE!!!!" Luffy screamed over the din. "It hasn't seen us yet, so hard to port!!!!" the slope evened out, and Luffy whipped the steering wheel to the side, whiplashing everybody aboard. 'Hmm… we're dodging it, but how do we get swallowed again? We need the log pose from old man Crocus… I don't particularly feel like getting into a fight with a whale as big as a mountain just to get swallowed, so… hmm…'
"Allow me." Luffy felt roger soar away from him. He wasn't exactly sure what he did, but it definitely pissed Laboon off. With an angry roar, the whale began swallowing the sea.
"AAAAAAHHH!!!! WE'RE GOING TO BE EATEN!!!!!" Usopp screamed, clutching onto the mast with all his might. Luffy growled and leaped out from the ship, into the open sea. With a parting scream, the four ships were devoured by the behemoth. With lightning-fast speed, the straw-hat captain climbed up Laboon's scars and onto its back.
"Where is it, where's the door…" he murmured, before finally seeing it. "THERE!!" he leaped for it and wrenched it open, disappearing into the whale's insides before it submerged under the water, all traces of pandemonium gone.
"What do you think?"
"'What do I think', he says." Sanji snarked. Zoro didn't even notice; he was too baffled already. "We clearly just got swallowed by a whale."
"Is this a dream…?" Usopp whispered, too stunned by the inexplicable sky and small island floating in front of them.
"Yeah. Probably a dream." Zoro answered.
"I'd go with we all just went crazy. Crazy sounds good right about now." Gin offered, the four ships moored around each other. All of the crews were dead silent, for really, what could they say to this?"
"We COULD all be having a mass hallucination… though I have no plans to figure out how to get out of this…" Kuro tucked his glassed in his breast pocket, kneading the bridge of his nose. "This is why I never went to the grand line… things were so much simpler back in east blue…"
"So, the house on that island…?" Nami asked.
"An illusion." The sea began to rise and part, as a massive squid rose from the depths.
"Ah… and this?" there was a moment's pause, before Alvida, Nami and Usopp screamed in unison. "A GIANT SQUID!!!!" the fighters tensed, ready to strike…
Before the house on the door was flung open, and three harpoons shot out at a dazzling speed, punching holes in the squid. With nary a sound, it fell back dead. Sanji smirked. "Looks like someone's home."
Luffy strolled down the metal passage, whistling aimlessly. "Man, even though I already know all of this exists, it still weirds me out! How was old man crocus able to build all of these tunnels into a living creature? Without killing it, even!"
"Very, VERY liberal amounts of tranquilizer. Enough to kill a flock of sea kings, I'd bet." Gold roger quipped as he materialized. Luffy rolled his eyes.
"Thank you, captain obvious. But seriously, how did he? I mean, how was he able to build this entire lattice of networks, hell, he's even able to create a hole in Laboon's stomach big enough for ships to sail through… why isn't Laboon dead and dying?" roger shrugged.
"I dunno. I'm not a doctor. But the concept isn't that different from your shipwright, is it?" Luffy frowned.
"Franky's different. He didn't have any vital organs… punctured… well, shit. He's got the stomach fridge." Roger snickered.
"Got ya there, boy!" Luffy flipped him the bird.
"Go suck a long one, old man." Roger smirked.
"You sure I haven't already?" Luffy blanched. "HAHAHA!! You're far too easy to psyche out!"
"I'm not even going to touch that can of worms." A thought struck the raven-haired boy, and he turned to his mentor. "Hey, roger, how did you get Laboon to swallow us? You didn't punch him or anything…" roger grinned evilly.
"Universal rule number one: men of any species do not like having things put where they ought not be put." Luffy's already pale face turned white as a sheet.
"Oh my god… you didn't." roger's grin answered back. "Dear Kronos above… you are the most evil man I have ever met in my life. Remind me to never piss you off, ever." Luffy felt Laboon begin to tilt, so he quickly altered the cohesion of his water to allow him to stick. "Hmm… seems like Laboon is starting up his little cutting phase again. Crocus'll have to dose him again."
"Yeah… can't believe this is where he's been hiding out all these years… he's not even trying to hide himself! I can't believe that the marines haven't tried to capture him."
"Maybe he hides out in Laboon when they come around." Roger laughed.
"Haha! I'll bet he does! No marine ship could possibly stand up to a house whale!!" Luffy chuckled.
"Ahh… Laboon… sad stuff, ain't it? He's been waiting for his nakama for fifty years, and most of them are floating dead in the Florian triangle… almost seems like a cosmic joke, doesn't it?" gold roger grimaced.
"Yeah, that does seem rather cruel… we're not gonna leave things the same here, are we?"
"Hell no. not when it's so easy to fix." Luffy tapped his chin as the walkway opened up to a wider chamber. "Now, wasn't there something that happened right about now…? Something… about baroque works…" Luffy's eyes shot opened. "AH!! Vivi and the crown guy are about to blow a hole in Laboon!!" he sprinted forward, eyes trained on his distant target. "Don't see them, don't see them, don't see them, don't see- there!!" he charged forward, arms outspread. Vivi and Mr. 9 didn't even notice he was there until he clotheslined them both into the door. "STOP THAT!!" he roared as they soared out through the door. Almost immediately, he spotted his ships. Without letting those two see him (after all, who knows what they'd tell about his powers once they got to whiskey peak?) he quickly changed directions and landed aboard the Flying Dutchman. He looked over at Arlong and nodded. "Yo."
"Good to see you're back with us. Who're those two weirdoes you brought with?" the fishman asked. Luffy looked back over at the two, who were desperately trying to keep themselves and their bazookas afloat.
"My guess? Whalers. They've got bazookas with enough firepower to blow a hole in the whale's stomach, and they were plotting before I knocked them in. somebody toss them a line before they digest!" Zoro quickly picked up a rope ladder and threw it to the two, and they wasted no time scrambling aboard. Luffy looked about, and saw that the Dutchman was fully crewed by fishmen. "So, I see you and gin made the switch."
"Yeah. Threw a few gangplanks over the merry and just used that as a stepping stone. We've both got all our people on the right ships now." Arlong grinned. "And by hell, if I ain't infatuated with this little beauty! She's practically made for fishman use!" Luffy turned away from him and reboarded the going merry.
"I'm glad to hear It." said Luffy distractedly, taking in the sight of Vivi once again. Luffy couldn't remember ever seeing Vivi again after he allowed her to stay in Alabasta, (although, given the state of his memory, that probably wasn't a safe bet) so seeing her again, seeing a nakama again that he hadn't seen for Kronos knew how many years… it was like a breath of fresh air, a cool glass of water in a desert. He absently noted that Sanji was drinking in her looks in a completely different way, if the heart in his eye was anything to go by. 'Always the horndog, eh, Sanji?'
Vivi felt the hard gaze on her, and looked up to see her attacker, staring at her with an emotion that she couldn't quite place. It wasn't lust, or at least, not the kind of lust the blonde staring hungrily at her had. It wasn't hatred, she knew that; why, she didn't know. Whatever the reason, it was making her distinctly uncomfortable. Nami looked up when she felt the boat still, and saw that the stomach acid ocean was calm.
"Ah! Look! The whale's calmed down!" she exclaimed.
"Looks like it. Maybe the old man finally did him in." gin pondered.
"Maybe." Zoro grunted. "So. We saved your asses, now who are you?" Vivi inched away from the infatuated cook, to mutter to her partner.
"Mr. 9, these are pirates!!" she hissed.
"I can see that, miss Wednesday!!" Mr. 9 answered back. "But, I think we would convince them… probably…" crocus slapped a foot down on the metal floors.
"Are you two scoundrels still here!?" he shouted. Everybody present jerked their heads up. Gold roger whistled.
"Man. Crocus has really let himself go." He whispered. Luffy tried very hard not to snicker.
"Don't make me repeat myself!! As long as I'm still here, I won't let you lay a single finger on Laboon!!" crocus shouted. Vivi and her partner smirked and slowly stood, dragging their bazookas up with them.
"You may say that, but we cannot retreat!"
"Yes, this whale is our mission!!" Mr. 9 shouted. "We won't let you interfere with our whaling anymore!!" the two aimed their weapons as one. "We'll blow a hole in its stomach!! Let 'er rip, baby!!"
"Roger!!!" the two fired as one, as crocus began running at the shots. Roger discreetly created a shield of water around the balls, to soften the oncoming blow.
"You…!" crocus roared as he jumped out, and took the shots to his body. He fell to the ocean of gastric acid, smoking.
"Good thing you did there." Luffy mumbled.
"Yeah, well, who knows if he's still in shape from his pirate days? He looks like he's been lounging for a while, so combine that with his old age, and two bazookas could kill him!" roger whispered back as Vivi and the kingly wannabe began laughing maliciously.
"Cease your pathetic resistance!!"
"I you want to protect the whale that badly, just try that again!!" mister nine crowed as Vivi cackled. Luffy arched an eyebrow.
'Man… Vivi is REALLY good at acting like a sadistic bitch. Baroque works must be rubbing off on her…' he pondered as he leaped up, and slammed the two together, knocking them out. He stepped over their bodies and jerked a thumb at them. "Tie them up." Two nameless Black Cats jumped up and began roping them two up. "Let's head over to the old man's island. I bet he's got quite a story to tell, if he's willing to take two cannons to the face for the whale." The four crews nodded.
"Yes, captain!" they chimed as one, as they leapt to adjust various sails and ropes. Luffy looked up at the whale's stomach and smiled sadly.
"Fifty years… waiting for Brook's return…"
"Thank you. You've helped me immensely." Said crocus, relaxing in his lawn chair. Luffy nodded.
"It's no trouble at all. I have… a duty, I suppose you could call it, to protect intelligent sea life. And, even if I didn't, blowing a hole in something's stomach… it's just not something I want to see." Crocus nodded.
"Regardless of why you did it, I still thank you." Alvida twirled her mace.
"so, what's the deal with the whale?" she was more than a little peeved at the moment, as her list of those not attracted to her immeasurable beauty was growing every day, with crocus being the latest addition. That seemed to be a problem on the grand line; nobody had a libido. "Why're these punks after it?"
"These two scoundrels are from a nearby town." Crocus kicked their bundle for good measure. "They're after the whale's meat. Laboon could probably feed their town for two or three years, at least." Nami looked over, curious.
"Laboon?" she asked questioningly.
"That's the whale's name." crocus replied. "He's a house whale. They inhabit west blue, and are the largest species of whale in the world. How could I possibly let him become food?" Luffy nodded.
"To see a house whale, let alone one this size in the grand line is pretty odd, old man. There has to be a story behind it." Crocus looked at Luffy and nodded.
"You seem pretty interested in my tale." Luffy smiled.
"Of course! I am, how you say, very invested in history. It's what made who I am today." Zoro had to hide a secretive grin at that. "and besides, what are all of our lives, except stories that have not yet been told, songs that have never parted lips, books that have never touched paper?" crocus couldn't help but grin at that.
"That's a romantic view of life… but I like it nonetheless. It reminds me of an old friend of mine." Gold roger didn't need to hide his beaming face. "But you're right. There is a tale behind Laboon. The tale of his being in the grand line… the tale of why he continues to bash his head against the red line, hoping that one day, it will crumble… and the tale of why he faces reverse mountain and bellows… all of these tales are intertwined in the same reason."
"A reason?" Nami echoed. Crocus nodded.
"Yes… for you see, Laboon is a whale, with the heart and feelings of a person. And he has been waiting earnestly for a very dear group of pirates to return here… for fifty years…" Luffy smiled sadly as the rest of the crew let out various noises of shock and surprise.
"F-fifty years!?" Usopp exclaimed. Crocus nodded.
"I'll tell you all of this now… for this is Laboon's story."
"Man, this water pipe is incredible!!" Usopp exclaimed as they sailed down the tube of sheet metal and rusted welding. Zoro scoffed.
"It's amazing that he's still alive after all this was made."
"I dunno, Laboon's pretty big." Gin mused, staring around at the creation. "He probably doesn't have that many organs out in all these extremities, other than blubber, blubber and more blubber. If he was careful, I could see this happening. Hey gramps!" he shouted down to crocus, sailing alongside them in his island ship. "Was this more of your 'having fun'?"
"This is my 'doctor' fun." He answered.
"Doctor? You're a doctor?" Alvida asked, somewhat impressed. Crocus nodded.
"I'm Laboon's doctor, yes. A while ago, I also used to run a clinic out on the main island. I was even a ship's doctor, years ago." Luffy laughed.
"Wow! That crew must have been first class, if you were able to do all this!" crocus smirked secretively.
"Oh, you have NO idea, straw-hat boy…" he slowed to a stop near a tall ladder, and began pulling himself up it. "Unfortunately, my ship's doctor days are long over. Unlike all you youngins', I don't have the time or the energy to go around doing idiotic things anymore." He glanced back as he reached the wheel. "Why is there so many of you, anyway? Pirates don't usually work together… you'd have to split the loot, then…" Luffy grinned.
"What can I say? I'm extra convincing!" crocus grinned.
"Is that so…" and he spun the wheel, as the metal door in Laboon's side slowly creaked open.
"OPEN SKY!!!" the straw hat armada cheered as one. Luffy absently noted both Vivi and the crown-guy waking up and untying their ropes. He pretended not to notice.
"Man, Laboon is really something… waiting for fifty years… those lousy pirates sure are making him wait a long time." Usopp mused. Sanji smacked him upside the head.
"Idiot. This is the grand line, y'know? If they never came back, then they're dead." Sanji let out a cloud of smoke. "There's no use waiting them anymore, after this long."
"Yeah… it's been fifty years, there's no point." Nami concurred. "I guess that just shows how unpredictable and chaotic this untamed sea is going to get."
"To think, this noble whale has waited this long…" Arlong murmured. "It truly shows the incredible strength of will that creatures of the sea have. To believe in such fragile humans, long after waiting becomes moot…" Usopp rounded on them.
"How can you heartless jerks say that!? You don't know that they're dead! They might still come back!! It's such a good story… a whale that continues to believe in his nakama's promise… isn't that right, old man!?" crocus rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Yes… but the truth is crueler than you can believe. It was all part of their plan… those guys ran away from the grand line." The straw hat crew gasped.
"No way… those guys actually tried to abandon this whale?!" Usopp said angrily.
"Those bastards…" Arlong growled. "Its times like these that make me realize why I hate humans all over again… those spineless, oathless bastards…" Nami's eyes widened as she ignored everything Arlong had said.
"But, they tried to leave the grand line… that would mean that they tried to cross the clam belt, right?" crocus nodded.
"Even if they survived crossing the clam belt, they would never willingly return to the grand line. The seasons, the weather, the currents, even the winds, they are all completely unpredictable. Common logic is worthless in this ocean. The terrors of the grand line quickly overwhelm the weak-hearted."
"So, those weak-hearted shitheads, without a thought to their promise or your own life, packed up and hightailed it out of the ocean." Luffy was staring off into the sky, vaguely hearing their words, but not truly understanding them over the high-pitched 'yohohohohoho!!' ringing in his ears.
"I can kinda understand where they're coming from… my first trip was a disaster… but if they had a stake here, then why didn't they come and hold up their promise!?" gin shouted. "I may be a pirate, but at least I have some honor! I would at least have tried to come back here to tell him myself!!"
"But, if you know all of this, then why haven't you told him?" Nami questioned. "The whale understands human speech, right?"
"I did tell him." Crocus answered. "But he refused to listen to me." Luffy drifted farther into his sea of memories, recalling memories of a time that never happened.
"Ah, excuse me… may I see your panties?"
"YOHOHOHOHO!! SKULL JOKE!!!"
"Luffy-san… I'm glad to be alive!!"
"Keep going, Luffy-san!! These marines won't get past me!! You must reach the center of Raftel, for all of us!! They'll have to step over my corpse to get to you! Ah, but I'm already a corpse! YOHOHOHOHO!!!"
'No… no…' Luffy shook his head, clearing the shroud. 'That never happened… that never WILL happen… not as long as I'm around… not as long as I can do something… I won't let any of them get hurt this time…'
"That was the first night Laboon faced Reverse Mountain and bellowed. He began battering himself against the rocks of the red line the same time." Crocus continued on, unaware of Luffy's inner turmoil. "He still believes that they'll return from the other side of that wall… he just won't listen to the truth."
"What a whale…" Sanji murmured.
"He keeps going even when there's no point…" Alvida added, feeling rather sympathetic to the giant beast.
"If there was no point, he would have listened to me all those years ago." Said crocus. "More than anything, he is afraid of losing his reason to wait. His home is in west blue. And yet, there's no way home for him now. All he ever wanted was to continue being nakama with the people that he followed here."
"y'know…" Sanji began, puffing out a cloud of smoke. "He may be in this pitiful state… but you were betrayed too, right? This isn't really your problem anymore, is it?"
"Just look at the scars on his head!" crocus exclaimed. "If he keeps ramming his head against the rocks like that, without a doubt, he will die! We two may have a strange relationship together, but we've spent fifty years together. I'm not about to watch him kill himself!" Luffy cracked his neck, and charged.
"OOOOAOAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!" he roared as he pulled a massive amount of water from the sea, solidifying it and grasping it in his hand as he raced up Laboon's side. He could just barely hear his crew's shouts of incredulity about his latest stunt, but frankly, this was how it had to be. Since he couldn't very well drop hints about Brook with his crew around, this was the next best plan. He immediately spotted the newest spurting wound, and raced towards it. "Mizu Mizu NO…!" he raised the pillar up… "SPIKE!!!" …and jammed straight into Laboon's head.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR!?!?!?" oh. That one he COULD hear.
Laboon's body began to tremble.
His eyes began to water.
His mouth began to roar.
"GRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!" the mighty whale roared furiously as he shook rapidly, trying to dislodge the offending item. Luffy merely held on for dear life. When that failed, the whale leaped high into the air and slammed himself into the peninsula, smashing Luffy to pieces.
"HEY, BOY!!!!!" crocus shouted.
"It's okay!!" Nami yelled back. "He won't die even if he gets crushed!"
Laboon, however, was furious. The attempt to dislodge the spike only drove it in deeper. The wound was now spurting blood freely, flaking the whale with blood specks. Luffy reformed himself and dusted his vest off. "Heh. Idiot." Laboon zoomed at Luffy, smashing him to bits once again. The captain merely reformed and punched Laboon in the eye. That made the whale even angrier, as it slapped at him with its tail. Luffy punted it back a few meters, and retaliated by smashing him into the lighthouse. Amazingly, the structure held. Laboon backed up for a charge, as Luffy grinned. Just as Laboon came close enough for contact…
"It's a tie!!" Luffy exclaimed. Laboon halted, confused. Luffy stood and brushed away some dirt flecking his clothes. "Pretty strong, ain't I? Not anybody can fight a massive thing like you!" suddenly, Luffy wondered if this was sort of his dress rehearsal for that business with Oz. 'hmmm… that bears closer thought.' He refocused on the whale. "I hurt you pretty good, didn't I? You wanna kick my ass for that, don't you?" Laboon remained still.
"I don't have time for the kind of battle that we'd have right now. But this isn't over! We'll have our rematch again someday. Your friends may be dead, but from now on, I'm your rival! We'll fight again someday, to see who is the strongest of the two of us!!" Luffy cracked his knuckles. He glanced over to see that the majority of his crew wasn't even trying to hide their grins. "Someday we'll return from the grand line, and I'll be there! And then we finish our fight!!" Laboon's eyes teared up. Crocus smiled gently as Laboon threw back his head and crooned.
"And… there!!" Luffy dropped his hands and grinned, the globs of paint falling back into the paint cans. The perfect symbol of the Straw Hat Pirates (amazing what art he could do when he didn't need to use a brush!) was plastered onto Laboon's forehead. "That's the symbol of our promise to fight! So, until I get back, you can't ram your head over and over and rub that off, or I won't have a rematch with you!" Laboon let out a short blast of air Luffy took to mean an agreement.
"Hey… Luffy?" gold roger began. Luffy whirled around to shush the pirate king.
"SHHH!! Be quiet! There are others around, what if they hear you!?"
"It's okay; I made sure everybody was elsewhere." Luffy slowly relaxed.
"Okay… but don't reform, I don't know how I'd explain that one."
"I may ACT dumb, but I'm not that stupid." Roger retorted. Luffy had to try very hard not to shoot back a sarcastic comment. "So, Luffy… I've been wondering this since we got out… why is it that we can't understand Laboon?" Luffy blinked.
"Huh?"
"Think about it! Laboon has made all of those noises and stuff, but we haven't heard a coherent word out of him! I'm just wondering, 'cause it's kinda weird…" Luffy mouth formed an 'o' of surprise.
"You… you're right, roger. I haven't understood Laboon this whole time. I wonder why…?" Luffy glanced up at the massive scars, and the proverbial light bulb went off. "Oh, boy… roger, I think I figured it out."
"That fast?"
"Unlike some people, I occasionally use my brain."
"I highly doubt that."
"Oh, suck my dick, roger."
"Is that your response to everything these days? The big boy finally discovered gay sex and insults everybody with it?"
"… Moving right along! I think I figured out why we can't understand Laboon. Look at his scars." Roger glanced up.
"Yes, the whale has big scars. What else is new?"
"No, seriously! Look at some of them! They're massive!"
"I realize that. Laboon is a very emo whale."
"No, not that! Look, in order to get scars that big, you'd need wounds that were even bigger, right?" roger blinked and looked back up again, and whistled.
"Whoo. Damn, you're right. Those would be some damn massive gashes."
"Right! And all of these massive wounds are on what would be equivalent to his head! That's some massive head trauma, right?" roger's eyebrow's shot up.
"Wait… are you suggesting that all his bashing against the red line made him retarded?"
"If you want to be crass about it. I mean, he can still understand human speech perfectly fine, but he can't speak himself. I'm thinking that in the process of trying to do the impossible and destroy the red line, he damaged his speech center in his brain. Crocus did say that he started doing this a few years after they dropped him off, and when he showed up he was little more than a baby, right?" roger's eyes shot open, and began to massage his temples.
"Oh, fuck me sideways and call me a daisy… you're telling me that Laboon could have damaged his brain while it was still developing?"
"It's a good possibility." Luffy shrugged. "It would also explain his extreme fixation on Brook and his friends, while staying here at the twin capes. He honestly can't muster enough thinking power to try and think of a different solution, like trying to swim out through the calm belt to find them. I mean, he's probably bigger than some of the sea kings that nest there, he could easily defeat them. He's just physically incapable of coming up with that idea."
"Damn… that's not really something we could fix. I'm not a doctor, and I certainly don't know animal anatomy enough to try and do brain surgery to fix his retardation. So, the whale is pretty much stuck like this?" Luffy grimaced.
"I don't like contemplating it, since Laboon was nakama, but there's not really anything that we can do that wouldn't already make things worse. Our way of healing would already probably send quite a few doctors into apoplectic fits. So, Laboon is stuck… like… this…" Luffy tapped his chin. "But…! But but but! I bet chopper could do something about it!"
"Chopper? You're serious?"
"No, think about it! Chopper was a reindeer before, so he makes it part of his practice to know animal structure as well as human, as homage to his roots! And by the time we got to Raftel, chopper could practically cure all but cancer and the common cold! He could probably come back with Brook and help Laboon!"
"… I'd think you were absolutely batshit insane if I didn't think that it just might work." Luffy walked over to where he spotted the dropped log pose of Mr. 9.
"It has to work! Chopper's the best damn doctor in the world!" he quickly pocketed the log pose before anybody could notice. In the distance, a muted explosion and a cloud of smoke drifted up from the sea. "Eh? What just happened there?"
"I dunno… but I'm sensing four major life-forms over there, two human and two not. The two animals are flying away."
"Oh. Well, that'd probably be the Unluckies bombing Vivi and the crown-guy. I didn't know that happened before."
"Well, it was kinda far away, so maybe nobody noticed it before." Luffy shuffled through the crowd of pirate mooks from the other ships enjoying time on land, absently giving high fives and accepting praise for fighting Laboon to a draw. "Man, you'd never realize how tiring it is to deal with that kind of numbers wanting your attention until you've lived it." The raven-haired boy sighed as soon as they were out of the crowd. Gold roger grinned.
"Well, I should hope you've gotten used to it by now. You were a king of far more than four ship's worth of pirates for over two years." Luffy smirked.
"Well, yeah, there is that. Guess I really don't have a right to complain."
'no. you don't." and with that final statement, gold roger fell silent. Just in time, it seemed, for not a second later, Nami screamed. "Sounds like a D.I.D! Go get 'em, tiger!" roger crowed. Luffy ignored him and was immediately at the table where she was sitting.
"What's wrong!?" he shouted.
"Nami-swaaan! What is it? If it's food you want, never fe-"
"Can it, Sanji, adults are talking right now!" Luffy snapped. Gold roger snickered as Sanji stood, balancing on one foot and loaded with three massive plates of blue elephant tuna, gob-smacked. Zoro guffawed from his resting place on the going merry.
"HAHAHA!! I gotta remember that one! That shut the ero-cook up fast!" Luffy ignored both of them and turned back to Nami.
"So, miss navigator, what's the problem?"
"The compass is broken!!" Nami exclaimed. "It won't point in a single direction!" Luffy blinked, before pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Hoo, boy… you honestly didn't know about this before coming with us? Talk about stupid." Nami swung at Luffy's head. The fist merely phased straight through.
"Oh yeah, Mr. Know-it-all!? Then why don't you tell me what's going on!?" she yelled. Luffy winced.
"Geez, no need to shout! It's simple, really. Regular compasses don't work on the Grand Line. There's too much magnetic interference!" Nami drew back, her ire at being insulted gone.
"What? Magnetic interference?" Luffy nodded as crocus walked up, watching them talk.
"Yeah! The islands here each have their own magnetic field! You can imagine how much that screws regular compasses up, which normally focus on only one field: the North Pole! Add in the storms, the currents, and weather, all of these can change within seconds on the Grand Line! The Grand Line follows it's own rules, and you've gotta play by them, or you die." Nami turned pale.
"But, but! How are we supposed to navigate then!? If we can't find our own direction…!" Luffy pulled out his recently pilfered treasure.
"This little baby right here! It's called a Log Pose."
"Log Pose?" Nami repeated.
"It's a special kind of compass made special for the Grand Line. It tracks the magnetic fields of the Grand Line islands. When it settles on one island for a set amount of time, it readjusts to the next island and points in that direction instead, turning the entire sea into one big connect-the-dots." Crocus chuckled.
"An interesting analogy, but an accurate one. How do you know all this? You talk like you've been here before." Luffy grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head.
"Ah, well… there was this pirate that stayed at my village for a long time, and he taught me a lot of stuff. He was the one who gave me this hat, too!" Nami nodded.
"Alright… but, Luffy…" she swung at Luffy again. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU HAD THAT!!??!?" Luffy reformed his head.
"Geez, Nami, you're real mean today! Is it that time of the month or something?" another punch to the torso. Luffy only barely managed to move the log pose out of the way. "Yeah. Definitely that time."
"You no-good rubber bastard!!" Sanji growled, having angrily slammed the fish to the table. "How dare to talk to Nami-san like THAT!!!" he punctuated his words with a punt to the face. Luffy didn't even feel the hit. He did, however, hear the sharp crack of glass. His eyes widened.
"Sanji, if you just did, what I think you just did…" he lowered his hand, to see the log pose in pieces. "Sanji, you utter bastard…" the cook looked at the broken orb with confusion, before grinning sheepishly to a rapidly reddening Nami.
"Ah… oops?" he was sent flying by the combined forces of captain and navigator.
"GO SOAK YOUR HEAD!!!!" they shouted as one. Sanji went screaming into the sea. Luffy pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "God, that guy needs to learn to think with his head instead of his dick all the time. I'm starting to wonder how I put up with him."
"He's devoted to girls, I get that, but this is ridiculous!" Nami agreed. "He's going to get us in trouble one day for that…" the two looked at each other, before grinning. "Hehe. Guess that helped me vent."
"I have to say, a happy Nami is much better than an angry Nami." Luffy grinned back. Nami almost blushed at that, but then realized he probably didn't mean it the way her mind was taking it. She looked up as with a splash of water, Laboon pushed up three waterlogged bodies to the shore. Luffy nodded.
"Looks like the two whalers tried to make a break for it. Let's go have a chat with them. Nami, you try and wheedle out another log pose from crocus. He said he used to be a pirate, so he has to have one lying about somewhere." Nami nodded and ran off to the lighthouse keeper. As Luffy came into hearing range of the three, Sanji was already hitting on Vivi.
"Allow me, my dear." Sanji held out a hand to the grounded Vivi.
"Why, thank you." she pulled herself up and began walking side-by-side with Sanji.
"Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" Mr. 9 pulled himself up off the rocks.
"Oi!" he spoke. "I have a request." Sanji glanced back, feeling much less charitable to the male half of the team. Luffy grinned.
"Is that so?"
"Whiskey peak?" gin repeated, grinning despite himself. "Nice name. I like it… Gin, in Whiskey peak… heheh, if that doesn't beat all…"
"What is it?" Luffy asked, knowing full well what it was.
"It's the town we live in… uh, sir." Mr. 9 said as he knelt before the captain.
"Don't you have a ship of your own? You're asking a bit much from strangers." Alvida stated, twirling her mace.
"Sadly, it was destroyed."
"Like the bitch said, don't you think you're asking a bit much kindness from us? After all, you DID try to kill the whale." Nami leered, getting in close to the fake king.
"Just who are you guys?" Usopp asked.
"I am a king!" Mr. 9 declared proudly. Nami pulled on his cheek.
"Liar."
"We cannot say!" Vivi declared, throwing herself to her knees.
"But all we want is to return to our town!" Mr. 9 agreed, also kneeling again. "We didn't really want to do this kind of underhanded work…"
"But please understand, secrecy is our organization's motto! We truly cannot tell you anything more than what we already have!" Vivi finished. "We are begging you kind people to help us! We will surely repay your kindness!"
"Don't listen to them." Crocus interjected. "No matter what they say, they're a couple of underhanded sleazebags." Luffy held up a hand to quiet the old man.
"Don't you think you're not the best one to be a judge of the scene?" Luffy asked. Crocus remained silent. "Now, you two… I will say this right now: the log pose that we took from you is broken, thanks to a horn dog cook of ours."
"WHAT!?!?" they screamed. "YOU BROKE IT!? THAT WAS MINE, YOU KNOW!!!"
"YOU MADE US THROW OURSELVES AT YOUR FEET WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN GO ANYWHERE!?!?" Vivi screeched. Luffy held up a hand.
"I only said that YOUR log pose is broken. Crocus is giving us another to replace it." The two were groveling and mumbling words of praise in seconds. Luffy strolled up to them. "You two are in a VERY shaky position right now. You're throwing yourselves at our mercy, the mercy of PIRATES, with no bargaining chip, and a history of already pissing us off once by trying to kill Laboon." The two winced. Luffy leaned down into their faces. "A would-be king… and a blue haired girl, who carries herself like a princess…" Vivi stiffened. "Yes… you interest me, girl… what was your name… Miss Wednesday? I wonder about that, Miss Princess." Vivi was trembling in place, fear striking a cold arrow through her heart. Luffy leaned up. "Zoro. Make room on the going merry for two extra passengers. We will go to this 'whiskey peak'."
"Are you sure, Luffy?" Zoro asked.
"Positive. But…" Luffy leaned down again to the two. "Just in case you forgot… I am in command of four – count 'em, four – separate pirate ships, all full to the brim of bloodthirsty pirates that answer completely to my beck and call. If you try and betray me… I'd like to see you two make it out in one piece. Are we clear?" the two gulped.
"Y-yes, s-sir!" Mr. 9 stuttered. Luffy grinned and pulled up.
"Alright then! MEN!!" the pirates looked up. "Finish your business on land! We set sail in ten minutes!!"
"CAPTAIN!!" they all answered back, suddenly pulled into a flurry of activity.
"They really do answer to you… all those powerful pirates, listening to your command…" Vivi breathed. "Who are you…?" Luffy grinned.
"What, me? I'm strong, is what I am." He flicked his hat. "The man who's going to be the pirate king generally has to be!" before, Luffy remembered them snickering at his declaration. Now, they just stared at him with a kind of dumbstruck awe.
"And so, we have two unknowns to factor into my plans…" Kuro murmured, scribbling incomprehensible noted onto a sheet of paper. "I do wish the captain would stop doing this…"
"KAW! KAW!!" a loud bird called out. Crocus glanced up.
"Oh? A Carrier Bird?" he asked, intrigued. "That's a surprise. I haven't seen any of those for ages…" a large bird swirled down to the cape, landing in front of crocus.
"CAW! CAW CAW!!" it cried, pushing forward a large bundle it was carrying. Crocus picked it up, hearing the loud jingle of metal. He flipped open the tag, and held it out.
"A package for a 'Kuro of the Thousand Plans'!" Kuro jerked his head up, slightly shocked.
"What? Me?" he pushed himself up and quickly walked over to the old man. "Why is there a carrier bird for me?"
"I don't know, but it's rather unusual in any case. Carrier birds are only used for custom orders, and those haven't been done in ages." Crocus rattled the package. "And from the sounds of it, it seems to be multiple blades." Kuro's eyebrows arched.
"Really…?" he took the package and tore it open. There, lying before him, were a set of Cat Claws.
"Incredible…" Kuro breathed. "He actually did it…" the fur was a deep crimson, almost to the point of turning brown. The blades themselves were easily three and a half feet long, much longer than his original pair, almost to the point of being obscenely unusable, with dark flames stained into the steel. Kuro turned the Cat Claw over to notice the Koban symbol branded into the paw of the glove. Kuro placed the blades under shadow, intrigued, as each of the blades lit up with faintly glowing good-luck symbols racing all along the blades in place of the flames.
"You're not going by halves making sure this blade is lucky, old man…" Kuro murmured, as he picked up the note at the bottom of the package.
Thank you for inspiring me. The set's name is Manakineko. I had them appraised, and they told me they would enter it as the twenty-second Fine Blade. Use my final creation well.
Kuro placed the card back in the package, slipping the two gloves on.
"Manakineko… Fortune Cat…" he murmured. He whirled around and slashed at the picnic table. The timbers spilt into five even pieces without a sound. Kuro looked approvingly at the weapon. "The twenty-second fine blade… an impressive gift, to earn for free… thank you, old man…"
"Everything's ready." Crocus stated. "Have you got the log pose oriented with the map?" Nami nodded.
"Yeah. It's pointing towards whiskey peak." Crocus nodded as she stepped aboard. Luffy walked over to the elderly doctor.
"Crocus. If I may speak my mind?" crocus nodded. "I don't believe that the crew abandoned Laboon." Crocus sighed.
"If that's what you want to believe…"
"Wasn't there a bout of plague going around about fifty years ago?" Luffy asked. "One that, once you caught it, was nigh incurable?" crocus stiffened.
"My god… you're right… it was further on in the grand line, so I didn't have to treat any patients with it, but… if they were in that area…"
"If somebody on their crew caught the plague, they'd try and get them away from the crewmembers that are still sickness free." Luffy continued. "Like, sailing a boat through the calm belt, in the hopes that they survive. The illness-free ones could then continue on in the quest." Crocus was flabbergasted, until he remembered.
"But, if that was the case, then why haven't they returned yet?"
"If they were far enough in the grand line to catch the plague, then they'd also probably be in the area of the Florian triangle." Crocus gasped.
"The Florian triangle…!"
"Exactly. I don't think they abandoned Laboon. I think they can't find their way back to Laboon." Luffy began twirling his hat on his finger. "When I get up into that area, I'll test my theory and search the Florian triangle for them. Until then, make sure that Laboon stays alive." Crocus nodded, still struck dumb.
"y-yes…" he murmured. Luffy grinned and, in a single leap, was back on board the going merry.
"SET SAIL!!!" he roared, and with a replying cheer from the armada, the four ships began to sail out of the cape. "FULL SPEED AHEAD!!!" crocus stared at the retreating back of the captain of the straw hat armada as Laboon let out a parting roar.
"They might just be the pirates that we've been looking for… he had a mysterious air about him, just like you did… we'll see that man rock the foundations of the world, in time. Don't you think so… roger?" unknown to crocus, a small boat, almost too small for practical use on the grand line, sailed down reverse mountain.
"So… Monkey D. Luffy is headed into the hornet's nest willingly… one's interest in you continually grows… yes, it does…"
And, chapter twenty eight is done!
I have never felt so much joy in my history as a One Piece fan as I have when I finished reading the latest chapter. It's like 576 was MADE to confirm The Will of D. excuse me while I go Fangasm for the 9001st time.
So, I've got this poll going on my profile. It's about what romantic pairings of my next story are going to be. I plan to shape what it is around the winning choice, I.E. if it's a one-shot or multi-chapter, or what-have-you. Vote please, if you want to!
Five reviews gets me to start working on the next chapter, ten reviews gets my ass in high gear!!
Review. You know you want to.
EDIT: HAHA, DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS! Turns out that I'm NOT the highest reviewed, or wordiest! Those honors belong to RUMBLE! And Destiny's Son, A Great Tale Of Adventure! respectively. I based that claim off of what the LuNa forums told me, which one of my reviewers wisely called bullshit on. Dammit, Moonlight! You lied to me!! On the other hand, a plateful of chocolate chip cookies to Aozacki for catching my error!
