Jareth sat on Sarah's bed and thought about the ball he was planning to throw Sarah that weekend. He'd been certain that he'd be able to convince her to marry him, but now he wondered what that would mean. Sarah an equal? Is that what humans thought love was? He was a king - a mighty warrior. He did not bow down to anyone, he stared into the mirror and smirked. Until he noticed that his reflection was glaring at him.
I will be your slave, his mocking reflection confronted him. He inwardly cringed as his pathetic attempt at seduction replayed in his mind. Words had power and he had given that power to a mortal girl who could destroy him if she didn't return his affection.
Affection? his reflection scoffed, just admit she rules you, Jareth. We all know that she is already queen of your heart. The Goblin King bit his lower lip and cursed his fool heart. His reflection only spoke to him when he was unsure of himself. It must be because his heart was Goblin now and not Fae - that was why he was feeling these things. He was totally in control of his heart and his fate. Fae did not give their souls away, he reminded himself. Fae ruled others and others were quite happy being ruled.
Sarah will not be ruled, his reflection noted, idly examining his nails. Pompous reflection. Sarah knows her power.
"Sarah is a child."
Is that what you told yourself while watching her sleep? While holding her so tightly in your arms as she teased you about a rival? Face facts man - you're sunk.
"I still have time to make it right," Jareth insisted and gazed around Sarah's room. He picked up Sarah's bookbag and her English Literature book fell out. The page opened to a poem and Jareth idly read it as he picked up the book. Hmm, Oscar Wilde...typical Sarah to have bookmarked something witty.
We shall be notes in that great Symphony
Whose cadence circles through the rhythmic spheres,
And all the live World's throbbing heart shall be
One with our heart, the stealthy creeping years
Have lost their terrors now, we shall not die,
The Universe itself shall be our Immortality!
Jareth stared at the words as if a light had gone on inside of his mind. It was like a rush of awareness took hold of him and he started to understand how his parents could rejoice in each other while keeping their own identity. Shakespeare had compared love to a summer's day, a death, a rebirth. Wilde by comparison seemed to believe that love was more than passion - it was the joining of two souls to live forever within each other, just as the universe itself lived for eternity. He wanted to live within Sarah, but the question was could he live without Sarah?
He of course knew he'd die is she rejected him - but if that were not the case - if he could survive with her refusal - would he still want to live? Would he want to live forever knowing she was a world away, never thinking of him? He knew the answer before he could debate the outcome with himself. She did rule him and she mocked him. And, if he could dare hope - she loved him - just a little.
He thought of his times with Sarah - either menacing her into a fear she had never really felt, or trying to charm his way into her affections. Neither approach seemed to work with the girl - what was he supposed to do? A bit of honesty wouldn't hurt, his reflection called out to him and he glared back at it. Undaunted, the reflection stuck out its tongue at Jareth and the Goblin King stalked off towards the bathroom, never once glancing at the mirror there.
He showered and wandered back to Sarah's room to dress for dinner. Sarah's Goblin King statue stood where it always did and Jareth stopped to examine its frozen smile. Was that how she saw him? A pompous cold statue with no real emotion? He would have to convince her otherwise. A thought occurred to him - he felt the need to convince her that he had feelings for her that went beyond want, beyond ownership. He was starting to admire her, to wish that she could feel that way toward him.
His thoughts were cut short as a sense of fear stabbed through him - not his own, but Sarah's. Someone was telling her something, but he couldn't hear the words. He could however hear the tone of her voice - disbelieving, angry. She was furious, but he couldn't hear why - they were not bonded and the pin only gave impressions of emotion, not fully thought out conversations. And he had no reason to go to her. No child to return to her family. He walked down to the dining room lost in thought. Was she having second thoughts about their courtship already?
JSJSJS
Sarah walked down to the gardens, determination in each step. The guards parted for her as she entered the Queen's gardens. King Logan was sitting near a large fountain carved with dragons and warriors. He sketched the scene before him, lost in his work. Sarah watched as the king's practiced hand brought the garden to life on his canvas.
"You draw?" Sarah asked, momentarily forgetting the reason for her talk with the king. He look up and smiled slightly.
"And paint. You may have seen my work in the queen's study."
"The family portrait? It's really good," Sarah allowed, sitting on the base of the fountain. She tried to ignore the glares from the stone dragons above her. She was starting to believe everything on this planet was watching her.
"Thank you. Now - I believe we were discussing Jareth. How do you feel about him?"
"He's a good king from what I'm told. He's been through a lot," Sarah said softly. "But he could never be," she faltered, blushing.
"He could never be what? Good enough for you?" The king's eyes narrowed and Sarah felt a prick of fear shooting up her spine. She shook off the feeling and looked him in the eye.
"No, he could never be faithful," Sarah said.
"If you're talking about those stupid nymphs in his room - "
"I'm not! He was kissing someone in my world and he was enjoying it."
"He's a king, he kisses when he wishes to, and the girl must have been willing."
"She was more than willing, she was all over him like she wanted to eat him. And he was letting her. He told her it was what he needed."
"And how do you come to such knowledge? Are you spying on him somehow? Humans have been known for their trickery."
"What? I don't spy - I feel him, I mean - I saw him. Devin showed me," she faltered again and Logan sighed as he continued to sketch.
"Devin. I should have known. The little weasel could never keep out of Jareth's pursuits."
"I am not a pursuit," she argued and he nodded, turning from his sketch to glare at her.
"No, you are not - you are his betrothed. Jareth has never been in this situation. He does not know love as humans do - or even as my wife and I have come to know. He is young, untested, and fairly oblivious to emotions he does not understand. But a part of his heart has reached out to you and you need to know what that means."
"It means that he runs from girl to girl," she started.
"It has meant that, yes. But now it is different. His heart calls to you. It is not a Fae heart, it is Goblin and they love with a magic that is even stronger than Fae."
"How is that possible? I don't usually think of Goblins as romantic."
"They are not. They do however feel emotions much stronger than Fae do. They are of the earth and their passions run deeper than Avians - Fae, whatever you wish to call us now. We are of the sky, we wish to remain free and that is why we do not usually love as humans do. Or Goblins. Jareth was always destined for you, Sarah. His heart knows it even though he does not understand it. If you do not love him back he will die."
"What are you talking about?" Sarah stared at the man as if he had grown another head.
"Jareth is in love for the first time in his life. For a Fae, once that love is awakened, it cannot be extinguished. Most Fae do not love. My wife and I found our way into each other's hearts but that is a story for another day. Jareth is our focus now. And he has been cursed with a love that may kill him."
"I'm not understanding, how can love kill him?" Sarah clenched her fists. Was Logan trying to trick her into marrying Jareth?
"If Fae fall in love and it is not returned, the Fae will eventually wither and die. Jareth would go far from us and go mad. Then he would die. It is our way and it is why Fae guard their hearts so well. Love is not to be trusted on those who would see us harmed."
"I don't want Jareth to die," Sarah said, eyes wide. "I just don't want to marry him."
"No one says you must marry him. You must only choose him as your own for all of time."
Sarah glared. "Isn't that the same thing?"
"No, child, it is not. Marriage would be a joining of your hearts, but being bonded to a Fae, well - that is a joining of souls. It is beyond marriage, beyond human needs such as compassion and romance. It binds you in a way that is irrevocable. And as such, it is dangerous. If you do not love my son - if you will never love my son - he is already dead."
Sarah sat there and tears threatened to spill. "I would kill him?"
"No, Sarah - you would not. But a Fae who has found love only to be denied - it is a madness that eventually destroys the soul. You must tread carefully until your next birthday. If by then you have not decided to be with him forever, he no longer will have forever. And that would be a sad day for all of us."
"Why didn't he tell me?"
"He wants you to choose to love him and not feel guilty if you do not. He is prepared to die. I however am not prepared to let him. So - do with this knowledge what you will but be warned. If my son dies, your life will not be a pleasant one."
"You'd hurt me?" Sarah was amazed. Logan stood up, towering over her.
"I would not have to hurt you, girl. Jareth's soul would cry out to you from the Fade for the rest of your life. In time, you yourself would go mad."
Sarah sat there as the king gathered up his supplies and left her to her thoughts. She looked up to the sky and cursed the day she'd ever met Jareth. Then she wondered more about that kiss between him and Elisa. Tomarrow was the ball, she'd have to face him then and decide the course of their lives.
But she couldn't be forced to love him.
Trust your heart, the voice said softly. Trust that you know what to do with your fate.
