It was hard to breathe.

Komaeda rolled over in the bed to lie on his side. He had thought he could just sleep the whole day, sleep the whole time that Hinata was gone until the last train to the south had left. But his nose kept getting stuffed and he was feeling uncomfortable constantly. It felt weird to have this much trouble sleeping now that he was getting better; he had slept a lot better earlier and he didn't even remember waking up to his nose being stuffed.

Maybe… No, it was a stupid thought. It would have been way too much trouble for Hinata to have taken care of him even when he slept. There was no reason for the other to go so far for trash like him. A dry laughter escaped his lips only to bring out a coughing fit, one that didn't ease before his eyes were all teary and throat hurt. He huddled up into a ball under the blankets to feel at least a bit warmer. He had been using Hinata's blanket all these days, but the other had gotten a new one for himself from somewhere…

He glanced at the bed in front of him; actually, the blanket seemed to be from the car. So Hinata had taken his keys at some point… Hopefully he had returned them, otherwise it'd be a bit hard to get home from here…

… It felt pretty much impossible to fall asleep now. Though if he had understood right, he had been mostly sleeping for two days already, so maybe a third one was starting to be too much. He felt his stomach twist as he thought about staying awake though, just sitting here and waiting for the night to come.

If he at least had anything to distract his thoughts with… Then a memory passed through him; they had bought those books. He slowly slid out from under the blankets, the cold biting at him right away, and walked to the bag in the corner. Hinata hadn't taken it with him, though from what Komaeda had gathered he had originally been planning on coming back, so he probably hadn't even thought about the books.

Komaeda sat down on his knees by the bag and just looked at it for a moment. When they had chosen the books, they had been talking a lot; about the genres they liked, the authors they had read about and the books they had loved. A conversation filled with nothing but small talk for the most part, but right now Komaeda missed talking about stuff like that. He had never really felt like talking about stuff like that was that enjoyable, but with Hinata it had been… He had finally realized why people could spend hours talking about nonsense.

He sighed and dug one of the books out of the bag at random and wandered back to his bed. He moved his pillows from the way of the book, before laying down on his stomach and propping his torso up with the pillows, and opened the first page. It seemed to be a regular old detective story, so maybe it would distract him from the current situation. But it was hard to focus when his thoughts kept wandering off from the book.

Hopefully Hinata had gotten there alright, and everything had went as smoothly as possible. It should have, this was regular business for them so they were used to all of this. Komaeda didn't exactly know all of the process, since he had never before needed to know.

Though, not that he needed now either but… it was hard to stop from worrying. Komaeda pressed his forehead against the book and let out a sigh. He had done his all to help Hinata, gotten him the papers and with them the independence to move on alone. This was much better for Hinata, so feeling regretful about it was… it was nothing but selfish. He had to remember this was the right option, and he should bury all the feelings trying to convince him otherwise.

He had hurt Hinata, and wasn't trusted anymore. That'd just make him a burden on the way, and a cause of unneeded anxiety and stress instead of being useful. In the first place all he had had was nothing but money and the car, so by giving Hinata the money and the identification to be able to travel on his own, Komaeda had already replaced himself.

There was no way around it, no way to deny that this wasn't for the best.

The words on the pages stopped making sense eventually as his focus kept dropping, and he closed the book defeatedly. After pushing his pillows back to their place, he closed his eyes to try and sleep again.

He had to stay here and not leave; he felt that otherwise he'd just end up chasing after Hinata.


Komaeda stared at the ceiling as he waited for the last minutes to roll by. Soon the last train should have left, and he'd have to give up on trying to chase after Hinata. There would be no other option left at that point.

He picked up the book from the nightstand again and scrolled to the place where he had left before. He had gotten halfway through the book already, despite his difficulties with focusing. A coughing fit hit him and he jumped up in his bed. It was easier to deal with them when he was sitting rather than lying down.

After it was over, he reached to take a tissue from the nightstand only to find out the box was empty. He started to get up; there was another box on the table in the room. The cold made his toes curl up and his body shudder, and he took the other blanket with him, wrapping it around his shoulders. He walked to the box and took a tissue from it after opening it.

Right as he blew his nose, there was a loud knock on the door. His heart jumped and he threw the tissue on the table as he rushed to open the door. The distance felt agonizingly long and he almost stumbled on his feet as the sudden rush made him feel dizzy, but he got to the door safely and clutched the handle for a few seconds, trying to get himself together before he opened it.

"Hinata-kun?" he asked slowly as he opened the door, but the person behind it smiled apologetically at him. Disappointment flushed through him and he tried to focus more on the confusion.

"I apologize, but it's just me. I presume you're alone now then?" The lady asked, and Komaeda struggled to remember her name. Hinata had mentioned it at some point. It might have been Sonia… He was just going to avoid having to call her by her name, just in case he remembered wrong.

"I… I am. I heard you've helped him take care of me, thank you for your kindness…," Komaeda said politely as he bowed. The blanket drooped with him, and Sonia bowed back at him.

"Anything I can do to help. Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I'm starting to be alright," Komaeda said. He still kept shuddering in cold and his head was slightly aching, but then again he was a lot better than he had been these past couple of days. The lady's face lit up in response and she clasped her hands together.

"That's great to hear! Hinata-kun seemed to be so worried for your health that even I was starting to get worried. He seemed to feel very guilty for leaving you out for the night… Even I feel regretful, I should have offered more support than just a thermos of tea," Sonia said and smiled softly. "I won't bother your rest any longer. Is Hinata-kun coming back soon?" Komaeda turned to look slightly away from her; there was no reason to tell her the truth, but then again if she came back to ask for him again...

"I don't think he'll be back, he uh, had to leave," Komaeda blurted out the words and smiled. "I'll probably leave soon enough too. I'm really grateful for all you've done to us and I'm sure he appreciates it as well…" Sonia just tilted her head like she had questions, but seemed to decide against asking any of them.

"That's a bit surprising… But I'll wish for a speedy recovery for you, please rest as long as you need to," she said and after the two of them exchanged goodbyes, she left and Komaeda closed the door. For a moment he just stood there, staring at the door like it was going to disappear at any given minute. Sonia was definitely suspicious; Komaeda could just hope that he hadn't caused more trouble for Hinata.

Cold began to creep on him again and he began to walk back to the bed, taking the tissue box with him on the way. It was odd to have a stranger care so much, but apparently Sonia had helped Hinata a lot so he was… appreciative, even though it felt like a waste of effort. As he returned to under the blankets, he desperately tried not to think of how she had said Hinata had been worried. There was no reason for Hinata to have worried about him, certainly not…

And he had even thought Hinata might have come back. He glanced at the clock on the wall; the last train had gone now. He would have to forget it all now and think about returning to his life. Hopefully he could get his old job back, that would be the ideal… And then he would have to smooth things over with his ex, probably not get back together but at least somehow explain how come he returned to soon. He owed her at least that much. Then he'd have to get back to the house and…

He rolled to lie on his side as tears began to form in his eyes. He wouldn't cry, it wouldn't help anything. There was no helping it, this was just his usual luck and…

But he didn't want to go back. He didn't want to return to that house, he didn't want that job anymore. He wanted to apologize, he wanted to make it all up, he wanted to continue traveling with Hinata. He shouldn't have taken the gun, he should have realized it might cause some discomfort for Hinata and most of all mistrust.

Komaeda squeezed his eyes shut to desperately try and keep the tears in.

If there was just any way to return back in time, even to this morning, he'd want to at least say he was sorry for all that he had done. But as he had realized many times already, there was no way to do that. Everytime he made a mistake or his luck dealt it's cards, he'd just have to deal with the consequences.

That was the reality.

The tears were starting to feel less intense, and he opened his eyes slowly. He couldn't do anything to change this situation anymore.

Then he heard the door being opened with a key; he stood up from his bed in surprise. It was most likely the hotel staff, but there shouldn't have been any reason for them to visit… Unless Sonia had been so worried about his health that she had reported it to the reception. He could hear the door swing open, and his heart thumped faster as he listened to the slow footsteps, like the person was hesitating.

And then Hinata walked into the room, looking at the ground with his lips pressed tightly together. For a moment Komaeda could not do anything but stare, grasping at the blanket wrapped around him.

"I'm back," Hinata eventually said, breaking the heavy silence between them. His voice was low, and he wasn't still looking at Komaeda, but he was back. Komaeda took a few steps closer to the other.

"Welcome back…," he said softly, and leaned a bit down to look at Hinata's downcast face and smiled. It was small, but the corner of Hinata's lips twitched like he had almost reflexively smiled back. Komaeda felt his mind being overwhelmed by the relief; Hinata had returned, he could apologize and maybe even make things better again. He hadn't lost everything to his luck again.

The tears he had been holding back earlier came back so suddenly that he didn't even realize it before they were already falling. This time he dropped his face to look at the ground to make sure Hinata wouldn't see his crying face. He shouldn't cry, this was just going to be a bother for the other. But the tears kept dropping despite his attempts to make himself stop.

"... Thank you for coming back, Hinata-kun…," he muttered, trying his best to conceal his trembling voice. "Oh, I guess that isn't your name anymore...," he said and tried to laugh, but it came out weird and awkward. He could see Hinata walk over to him, and he dropped his head even lower to hide it.

"No, you can… you can still call me Hinata," the other said just as awkwardly. Both of their words were like fumbling pieces rolling from their mouths, like they were desperately trying to make a normal conversation again, like the ones they had had just a few days ago. Hinata suddenly put his hand to Komaeda's shoulder, making him flinch in surprise, before hesitantly pulling Komaeda closer.

It wasn't exactly a hug; Hinata had just pulled him close enough that Komaeda's face was now resting against his shoulder. But it was more than Komaeda could have asked for, and he pressed his face against his shoulder, seeking more of the gentle warmth.

"I'm… I'm sorry," he whispered, his words muffled, but he could feel Hinata nod hesitantly. It made it clear that the other hadn't forgiven him yet, but the fact that he still had returned...

Komaeda had to bite down on his lower lip to stop himself from saying what he shouldn't say. This was not the right time; in fact there would never be a right time for it and these feelings were something that he had to keep hidden, buried under everything else.

"I'll be better this time…," he whispered instead. "I promise."


Thank you for reading all the way here! It was a bit of a struggle to get this chapter done, not only did I have six days in comparison to my usual 10 or even 20, my computer went and broke ahaha... I'm getting a new one next week though so things should return to normal~ Thankfully I have a friend with extra laptop I could borrow... I don't have much to say, so the next chapter will be up on 29th of February, I hope to see you there~