When we last left our favorite piece of wood known as Plank, he had been dropped into a random spot after participating in the previous challenge.
And now, he's got to find his way home. Let's hope he can do it without being snapped in two.
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"Who would draw a smiley face on a piece of wood?" the boy known as Dipper asked. They had just watched the latest TDE2 episode, and had been caught up to speed on why Plank was there.
"I know," Mabel said. "I could probably draw a better face than that."
Dipper looked at Plank. "Whoever this Jonny person is, he has some serious problems."
"Or all he's looking for is a friend," Mabel told him. "It actually seems kinda sweet."
"So what do we do with….Plank?" Dipper asked.
"What do you think?" Stan asked. "We use Plank for the Mystery Shack's next advertising campaign! Since Double D knows him, and he recently had a fake marriage with Zelda, he must be really popular. I can see the money coming already."
Mabel shook her head. "I think we should just get him back to Jonny. Odds are, he's worried."
Stan tried to find a counterargument, but eventually gave up. "Yeah, you're right."
(Later…)
Plank went flying into a river, having been thrown by Stan.
"Really, Grunkle Stan?" Mabel asked. "That was uncalled for. Why not just mail him?"
"Because that could take forever."
Dipper shrugged and said, "Well, at least this situation is out of my hair."
They walked back inside as Plank was swept away by the river.
He stayed in that river for several hours as the current steadily took him downstream. The piece of wood simply traveled as though he didn't have a care in the world. And he didn't, because he was just wood. Sometimes, the current would pick up, and things would go faster for him.
That's how he stayed, far into the night, and into the next morning. The river kept on going. Eventually, he bumped into a large rock, preventing any further progress as he repeatedly bumped into it.
However, within a minute, he was quickly scooped up in a net and picked up out of the water.
"Man, I was hoping for a dead fish," said the man with the net. He was wearing a flannel shirt and jacket, and he had spiky dark-blond hair and green eyes.
"Sorry, Dean. Guess that fish pie's not going to be made today," the man next to him said. He was also wearing a flannel shirt and jacket, but his hair was long and brown, and he had hazel eyes. "Wait, does that piece of wood have a smiley face on it?"
"Hey, how about that? It does."
"Seriously, you walked all the way to the river just to catch a piece of wood with a face."
"Shut up, Sammy."
They walked away from the river and went inside their bunker, taking Plank with him.
"I think I've seen this thing somewhere before," Sam said.
Then Dean realized something. "Oh! I remember! He was on the most recent episode of Total Drama Everything 2! He was partnered with Zelda! God, I love that show."
Sam looked at him and said, "I still think it's a stupid show. I also think we should return him to his owner."
"Aww, but I could use him for my new poker table."
"Too bad. I'm going to go call someone who might know something about it."
It took Dean a second to realize who Sam meant. "No. You don't mean…"
"Oh, I do."
Just five seconds later, someone teleported right into the bunker.
"You rang?" Deadpool asked.
The Winchester brothers looked speechless. "Wha- How?" Dean asked.
"I hadn't even called you yet," Sam said.
"Dudes, don't you know anything about me yet? I'm me! Now where's Plank?"
Sam handed Plank to Deadpool, who laughed.
"This is one lucky piece of wood to have been with Zelda, I can tell you that. I'll take him off your hands for you. And in exchange, all I ask is $500."
"You can't be serious," Sam told him.
"Hey! I only have a quarter of my debt to Nohr taken care of! Be thankful I'm not charging more."
Sam thought for a bit. "$250?"
"Done."
Once Deadpool had his money, he nodded to the boys. "Be seeing you guys. Hope you kill more demonic creatures who are supposed to be my kills. Oh, and Dean?"
"Yeah?"
"I destroyed what you had so far for your poker table. Gambling's a dirty habit, you know. Bam!"
With a flash of light, he was gone. The brothers stood in disbelief.
"Son of a b****," Dean muttered.
(Later…)
"So I took this one girl out on a date one time. She was blonde and pretty, though she looks nowhere near as hot as Death herself. It did help that she was the stereotypical blonde airhead, though. That way, if I were to have to kill someone on the date, she would be none the wiser. Besides, I could take her somewhere cheap, and she wouldn't care. Anyway, we went to a McDonald's, and I insisted we just get stuff off the dollar menu. We ate our food, as we normally do. She was gossiping about things like how her curling iron had broken, and how she was borrowing one from a friend.
"During the date, some guy comes up with a gun and screams 'Give me all your money! And the girl!' I was like, 'You really want to mess with me? A highly trained mercenary?' I really didn't have time for this guy, especially since I had a girl to woo."
Clearly, anyone would want to be Plank right now as he rode shotgun in Deadpool's car over the desert. That way, they wouldn't be able to hear his continuing chatter.
"...and after all that was done, I disposed of the body by putting it in a trashcan and making sure to hide my tracks by putting in some hair I swiped from one of the cashiers at the restaurant. After that was done, I tried getting back to the dumb blonde. Problem was, I forgot to put back on my mask, and I ended up with a ton of pepper spray in my face. I tell you, nothing breaks your heart more than a beautiful woman spraying painful seasoning on you. But you're lucky. You have the advantage on that, my good friend Plank."
This went on for several more hours, as Plank sat still and Deadpool talked endlessly. Eventually, they got to the city of Endsville.
"It should only be a couple more hours until we get to Peach Creek," Deadpool said. "Then that Jonny fellow will be happy.
At that moment, the car hit a speedbump. Deadpool was so preoccupied over trying to keep control of the car that he didn't notice Plank had fallen out of his seat and onto the side of the rode. That was where he stayed all night long.
(The next morning…)
A rather round boy wearing glasses was walking down the street, holding a bouquet of flowers. "This time, I will win her over, yo," he muttered. Then he stepped on the edge of the piece of wood, which made the rest of Plank smack him.
"Ow! What was that?"
He looked down and saw Plank beneath his feet. Picking him up, he looked at him and smiled.
"Oh, I know you. You were on TDE2. Hmmmm…..maybe Mandy knows something about you."
He hurried over to a white house with a large window. He then rang the doorbell and waited until it opened. Several clicking noises were heard just beyond the door.
"Oh, Irwin," said the woman. "Thank goodness, I thought you were Mandy. All those locks, too. What is it?"
"Where's Mandy at?"
The woman sighed. "You should check Billy's house."
"Oh. Duh, she's usually there. Thanks, Mandy's mom."
He then ran over to Billy's house and rang their bell. A tall skeleton wearing a black robe and carrying a scythe answered. Irwin noticed he was missing an arm.
"What do you want, Irwin?"
"Hi, Grim. Where's Mandy?"
(Upstairs…)
You know you're not filled with candy, right Billy?" Mandy asked.
"I just want to know how it feels," a boy with a large nose said as he was dangling from the ceiling.
"In that case…" Mandy then started using Grim's arm to repeatedly whack Billy as he laughed. "This is so much fun!" he screamed.
"It kinda is, actually," Mandy said, still whacking him.
That was the sight Grim and Irwin saw when they came into Billy's room. "This is what you wanted to use my arm for?" Grim asked.
"Yeah."
"You could've used a baseball bat. Besides, I wanted to whack him too, mon."
"Knock yourself out," Mandy said, taking Plank from Irwin's hands and throwing it to him. She and Grim continued to whack Billy over and over. Then Irwin remembered why he was there.
"So, uh, Mandy…"
WHACK!
Irwin had just been hit hard in the face by Grim's hand. This caused enough force to knock him out.
"Where did Irwin get this thing anyway?" Grim asked, looking at Plank.
Mandy groaned. "I know what that is. Double D said he knows someone who uses that thing as his best friend."
"Sheesh, and I thought Billy had problems."
"Why, thank you, Grim." That earned Billy a smack in the face.
"So what are we going to do with it?" Mandy asked.
"Easy. Whoever owns this thing may be weird and clearly has issues, but I don't want him knocking and whining over where this thing is," Grim said. Then he pointed his scythe at Plank and zapped him. In an instant, he was gone.
"Why didn't whoever find him just bring him to you in the first place?" Mandy asked. "Idiots."
(Meanwhile…)
Jonny 2x4 opened the door, having heard a loud thump. He looked down and saw…
"Plank! You're okay!" He took Plank and hugged him tightly.
"Boy, I've been so worried about you since you went missing. You have no idea. At one point, I…"
Jonny carried Plank back into the house, but as he did, the crayon-eye gave a quick wink without Jonny noticing.
And in the middle of the cul-de-sac…
Irwin sat up, looking around. "What just happened. And where am I?"
Then he heard a loud pop behind him. "Oh, hi Irwin," said Deadpool. "Need a ride back?"
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I feel so bad for Irwin right now.
Plank had a really fun little journey to get back to Jonny, and things are back to normal. He met Dipper, Mabel, and Stan. He was nearly turned into a poker table by Sam and Dean Winchester (from the show Supernatural, in case you didn't know). He heard a reeeeeaaaaallllly long story from Deadpool. And he became a weapon against a human pinata. However, I have called Grim regarding that wink at the end, and he will fix it in due time.
Sorry it's been awhile too. I've been held up with going back to school, watching reality TV shows, stuff like that. Hopefully I might be able to go a little faster, especially since I have something huge planned in a few chapters.
Anyway, next up is our fourth Aftermath Show. Sam (not the Winchester guy) and Snake chat with Harry, Mega Man, Moka, and Zelda on their time on the show. A rallying call against one competitor is made, and we even have some guest stars, involving a request to undo something.
Oh, and here's a hint for what the competitors are doing when we get back to the actual show: they had better warm up their vocals.
That said, all you have to do is read and review, fave and follow, send in challenge ideas and locations, give me some good-luck messages and audition tapes, and I will see you soon!
Also, if you're with Deadpool, bring earplugs. TheMasterKat out!
