Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or its characters
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Chapter 29: This Is Your Heart
4 years ago
Two weeks into the first semester and Haley already felt overwhelmed. She wasn't ready to be back at school and away from Tree Hill. Especially considering the way things ended up at home. Nathan didn't want to be with her, he'd made that obvious by telling her to be with Jonnie. And Jonnie didn't even want to be with her. He hated her and she couldn't blame him.
Oakley had been bombarding her with questions about what had happened between her and Jonnie and Nathan and she really didn't know what to say. She really didn't want to talk to her about what had happened. She didn't want to talk to anyone. The only two people she wanted to talk to either wouldn't speak to her or couldn't. Everything was falling apart and it was all her fault.
Every day she worried about running into Jonnie. She knew that when she did see him he was still going to be angry with her. At least she hoped he was still angry. She deserved it. She kept making up scenarios in her mind of how their conversation would go and it always ended with him yelling and telling her he hated her.
The sun was beating down on her as she walked across campus. Her headphones were in her ears and she was thankful for the sounds of music drowning out the sounds on campus. The library came into her sights and when she reached the steps she jogged up them through groups of students. Pushing the doors open she was met with the refreshing feel of the air conditioning.
Walking past the front desk and through rows of desks she finally made it to a set of stairs. Taking them upstairs she saw around 20 students spread throughout the stacks of books. She made her way closer to a vacant table and when she reached it she dropped her heavy backpack to the ground with a thud. Pulling out the chair she sat down and turned down her headphones a bit.
She pulled out a textbook for her Ethics class and began to skim the pages, highlighting sections of the text she thought might have been important. After an hour Haley finally looked away from the page and up at her surroundings. From the windows she could see that the sun was beginning to set.
"Haley?"
Through the low sound of her music she vaguely made out the sound of her name being called and she quickly pulled the earbud from her ear. Turning her head to the right she saw Jonnie standing just a few feet away. He wore a pair of light blue jeans and a plain white shirt with a green baseball hat on backwards over his hair.
"Jonnie," she said, clearly surprised. "Hi."
"Hey," he said and stepped closer to the table she currently occupied. "I was saying your name but you didn't hear me."
"Right," she said and picked up her headphones again. "Sorry."
When she said that she wasn't sure if she was apologizing for not being able to hear him earlier or if she was really apologizing for everything else. She thought it might have been for everything else. It wasn't like she could really apologize enough for it.
"How've you been?" she asked, even thought that was probably a pretty stupid question to ask.
He shrugged, "not that great."
Haley nodded and bit her bottom lip. "If it makes you feel any better I've been feeling pretty awful lately."
"It doesn't really help."
The awkward tension between them was palpable. There was so much that needed to be said between them but neither of them was willing to go there. She just wanted things to be ok with them, for him to at least not hate her. However she wasn't sure if that would ever be possible. So all she could do was sit and stare at him, at a loss for words.
"I wanted to call you," he said finally. "I just couldn't. But I shouldn't have just left without saying anything to you."
"I don't blame you," she replied. "I wouldn't have wanted anything to do with me if I was you. And I wanted to call you, too. I just figured you needed some space."
He nodded his head and then cleared his throat. "Are you heading out of here soon?"
"Yeah. I just needed a quiet space to study and Dave was over with Oakley so I came here. But I'll probably head back soon."
"You want me to walk you?"
She was taken aback by his question. She wasn't sure why he even wanted to be around her right now.
"Yeah," she replied. "I'd like that."
The walk back to her dorm was mostly silent. Neither of them really knew what to say to each other, still. Walking side by side seemed like falling back into their old regular pattern. But it was too soon for it to feel normal, wasn't it? Was there even anyway for them to be normal again? Or even friends?
Haley laid awake staring at the ceiling thinking back on years ago. She hadn't anticipated Jonnie showing up in the library that day and she definitely wasn't expecting him to offer to walk her back to her dorm. But from that day on he walked her home from her classes and got coffee with her when she was free and eventually it felt like they were them again. She didn't understand how he could forgive her and she questioned him about it multiple times. Why was he so understanding?
Each time she asked him why he would take her back he just smiled and told her it was because he loved her so much. He was willing to fight to have her back, to prove to her that he loved her and he would be the only person she would ever need. They would be good again. Even when she would receive letters from Nathan he didn't question it. He trusted her, he said.
As the years passed they took it slow and eased back into their relationship. She had fun with him and he made her smile and she realized why she had fallen for him in the first place. She put aside the voice in her head that nagged at her that still things could never be the way they had been with Nathan. It didn't matter. What she had with Nathan was so different from what she had with Jonnie. She didn't want them to be the same. They could never be the same.
After Jonnie graduated he moved back to South Carolina and he and Haley made visits to see each other. He had a job with a church from his town as a youth minister and he loved it. She could hear the passion in his voice when he told her about his work and she was happy for him.
The next year when she graduated she started a job at a record label in New York City. Her new life was so exciting and so different from what she was used to. But for once it felt like everything was finally falling into place for her. She loved her job and her apartment and she'd made new friends. Eventually Jonnie moved to the city to be with her and things with them were great.
She kept in contact with Nathan through letters but over the past 4 years only about 20 letters had been sent back and forth between them. And they had been short and contained nothing but tidbits about their lives. They weren't the same people they had been when he first left. She could tell by his words that he didn't look forward to her letters like he used to. She almost felt like it seemed to be a chore to him to write back to her. That broke her heart.
And after last night she had no idea where things stood between them. They hardly even seemed like friends. Were they back to where they were in high school? Tolerating each other's presence for the sake of their friends seemed so strange. Nathan had once been a person that she would have told anything to. He was her confidant and she trusted him with her whole heart. Now they could hardly even make conversation with each other. That wasn't right.
Haley sat up in bed and pushed the blankets off herself before getting out of bed. When she pushed the door open she heard the sound of Julian's voice from the kitchen and the sounds of pop music playing from an iPod dock as she made her way towards the stairs. As she walked down them she saw Julian already dressed and ready for the day while Brooke sat at the kitchen island in her pajamas.
Brooke smiled at the sight of her best friend and waved her down. In front of Brooke was a plate with peanut butter and jelly toast and a glass of orange juice. Her hair was pulled up into a bun and she had glasses on the bridge of her nose. Haley smiled, Brooke must have really be comfortable around Julian if she was willing wearing her glasses. She never wore them in front of anybody.
"Want something to eat?" Brooke asked when Haley came into the kitchen.
Before Haley could even respond Brooke was up making her toast and getting her something to drink. Julian continued to talk on the phone while trying to finish his breakfast. "Yeah. Well I'm leaving right now and I'll be there in 20 minutes. If we can't figure something out I'll have Brooke come by and fix it."
He hung up the phone and sighed before finishing off his glass of juice. "What's the emergency?" Brooke asked and sat back down in her original spot.
"Josh doesn't like his outfit for the scene we're filming today."
"Are you serious?" Brooke asked with a laugh. "That's the emergency that they're making you come in early for?"
"Apparently. If we can't find something to make him happy will you bring down some more options?"
"Yeah," she said with a smile. "I'll come down later anyway so I can show Haley around."
"Oh yeah," Haley agreed quickly. "I totally wanna see this set. This is so cool I can't believe I'm friends with all these glamorous people."
Julian laughed and ran a hand over his light brown hair. "It's not nearly as glamorous as it sounds." He walked over to Brooke and kissed her on the cheek. "I gotta head out but I'll see you later, Gorgeous. Bye Haley."
Brooke smiled as she watched him walk out the door. She got butterflies whenever she was around him, even now. Somehow she knew that feeling would never go away. She still didn't know how she got so lucky with him.
"You guys are so cute," Haley gushed and took a bite of her toast.
"He's the cute one," Brooke said with a shrug.
"How cool is it that you get to do the wardrobe for the movie?"
"It's good that I can put Alex in something hideous if she's pissing me off," Brooke said with a smirk.
Haley laughed a little and then cleared her throat. "Yeah but it seems like she's moved on from Julian. I mean did you see her with Nathan last night? She was definitely hitting on him."
"Are you jealous?" Brooke asked with a kinked eyebrow. She didn't even really need to ask she could easily see the signs of a girl jealous because of Alex Dupre. She'd been there before.
"What?" Haley asked and shook her head. "Of course not. I'm just saying I don't think you have anything to worry about with Alex and Julian. Seems like she likes Nathan."
Brooke leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest and closely watched her best friend. She was staring down at her cup of juice and lightly circling the rim of the cup. Her eyes were far off and Brooke knew without a doubt she was thinking of Nathan.
Haley looked up and saw Brooke's eyes watching her intently. "What?"
"Nothing."
"I'm happy for him."
She was happy for him. She didn't want him to be alone. It was just strange to see Nathan with someone. All throughout high school he had gone out with random girls but he'd never been in a serious relationship. But if he was happy then she was happy.
Haley cleared her throat and then laughed, finally noticing the music in the background. "What are you listening to?"
"I can't help it if I have a soft spot for One Direction. They're cute."
Brooke stood up and brought her plate and glass over to the sink before rinsing them off. She looked back at Haley and saw her still lost in thought and she turned around before facing her again. "So how long are your parents gone?"
"They come back next Friday."
"It's so strange to think of Papa James lying out in the sun somewhere on a cruise ship," Brooke said with a laugh.
Haley couldn't help but laugh along with her. Her dad was definitely not the relaxing type. He was always working and if he wasn't he was at home fixing something, even if there really wasn't anything to be fixed. But after everything that her parents had gone through they deserved a vacation.
"I know."
"Hey go get dressed and soon we can head down to the studio. Julian would totally love to show it off."
Haley nodded and headed back towards the stairs. She was looking forward to seeing the studio, figuring it would give her mind a distraction. The last thing she needed to do was think about Nathan all day.
Lucas stood inside Tric staring up at the stage. During the day there were never that many customers, except for a few regulars who spent their day sitting at the bar. The lights dimly lit the stage and an idea came to him.
Karen opened Tric 3 years ago and when she and Keith moved she gave it over to Lucas. Since they left he had worked his hardest to keep the business up and running. And he'd been doing pretty well but he knew he could do better. When the club had first opened Karen let Peyton book bands and solo artists to sing there some nights. Now seemed like a good idea to start that up again. He just wished Peyton was still around to help him out with that.
He turned around and walked back towards the bar and Chase, the bartender, walked over to where he stood. "Can I get you something Luke?"
"I need your opinion," Lucas replied, "what do think about having live entertainment here again?"
"I think that's a great idea. That will bring in a lot of people. Probably a lot more than we're already getting."
"Too bad Peyton's not around. She knows music better than anyone."
"Did I hear my name?"
Lucas turned around and saw Peyton standing at the top of the stairs with a young girl standing beside her. Peyton's hair was much longer than the last time he'd seen her. She was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a gray button up. Lucas smiled at the sight of his old friend before his eyes drifted down to Jenny who stood at her side.
Jenny's bright blonde hair was curly just like Peyton's had been and it hung around her shoulders. She was dressed in a pair of jeans and a mini Led Zepplin t-shirt. Clearly her mother had dressed her.
"Lucas!" Jenny yelled excitedly and ran towards him.
He crouched down and picked up the younger girl in his arms. Her eyes were exactly Jake's and it brought back so many memories of him when he looked at her. He couldn't believe she was almost 5 years old now. It seemed like it had only been yesterday when they were all at the hospital waiting for her to be born.
Peyton walked over to them and wrapped her arms around Lucas. She couldn't believe what it felt to be back here. She had missed it more than she realized she would. All her friends were here and she realized her heart was still here. "I've missed this place."
"Any chance you'll be sticking around for a while?" Lucas asked.
"You know I think there's a very good chance of that."
"What does that mean?"
Peyton smiled. "Ben and I are moving back here. This is my home and I belong here. I'm just lucky enough that he wants to come with me. Besides, Jenny should be around Lydia and Jimmy more. I know they'd love that."
"Well then I definitely need your help. I want to start having live entertainment here again."
"Luke, that's a great idea!" Peyton exclaimed. "You definitely need my help picking out the bands then. Oh there's this great British band that's not far out of town. Maybe I can get them here."
Lucas smiled. "It's good to have you back, Peyton."
Brooke was giving Haley the grand tour of the studio and she was trying to take it all in. The set of the house that was used in the movie was modeled after the house that Nathan and Lucas had grown up in and it was strange to stand in its replication. It was surreal to think that her friends were part of such a large project like this, and that it was in the middle of the town she'd grown up in. In high school she never would have thought as Tree Hill as the place to house a movie.
As Brooke took her back to the trailer that housed the wardrobe she could hear the happiness in her voice. She was sure that being in charge of something like this was a dream come true for her. Not only did she have her own successful store but now she was in charge of wardrobe for a movie.
"The best part," Brooke said while mindlessly shuffling through the racks of clothes, "is that I can make sure that Alex is never in anything sexy in front of Julian."
Haley laughed and nodded while looking through the clothes next to her. "How is she when she acts? I've never actually seen her in anything."
"Truthfully?" Brooke said and turned her attention to Haley. "She's great. I mean I was watching her film a scene with Josh last week and she was so amazing she actually made me cry. And I hate to admit that."
"Wow. What's her story? I mean I always hear about her in tabloids and stuff but she seems like she's actually a cool girl." Even if she did have a thing for Nathan.
"Yeah she's had her problems with drugs and alcohol. Julian's had to flush some of her cocaine before. There were some pretty rough times for her here but she's doing better. She hasn't been drinking for months and when she works she's really professional."
"That's good."
Haley knew that if Brooke had good things to say about her than they must have been true. She was asking so many questions because she wanted to know who this girl was that was so interested in Nathan. Nathan deserved the best and she wanted to know that Alex was really a good girl. Sure, she had her issues to work out, but so did everyone. At least she seemed to be doing ok now that she was in Tree Hill.
Brooke grabbed a pair of Nike sweats and a dark blue long sleeve t-shirt and nodded her head. "Maybe Josh can handle this for the scene."
Haley followed her back out the door and saw Julian, Alex and Josh standing there waiting for them. Josh had originally been dressed in a pair of shorts that he claimed were "too gay" for his character to be wearing. Brooke tossed the clothes to him and he hurried off to his trailer to change.
Julian smiled and placed a kiss on Brooke's forehead. "Thank you for saving the day."
"It was hardly a big deal," Brooke replied. "I didn't realize he would hate the shorts so much."
"Josh is such a baby," Alex commented and looked down at her nails before turning her attention to the three people standing in front of her. "I mean he spends more time in the makeup chair than I do."
Julian laughed and shook his head. "Are you ready for the next scene once Josh is ready?"
"Of course," Alex said and flashed a bright smile in Julian's direction. "I'm ready whenever you want me."
Brooke rolled her eyes and grabbed Haley by the arm. "Let's go. I'll finish giving you a tour of the set."
They walked back into the set of the house and through some of the rooms. They made their way inside what looked exactly like Nathan's old bedroom. There were posters on the walls and pictures on the dresser but instead of pictures of Nathan and his friends and family there were pictures of Josh and people that she didn't know.
"This is crazy how much it looks like his room," Haley whispered.
"Oh I know," Brooke replied, "they're practically identical."
Even though it wasn't his room, she was still flooded with memories of Nathan's bedroom. The morning that she had come to see him about the letter Jake had left for them, nights that summer that they had stayed up late watching movies and talking, the night in the rain. She shook her head and tried to think of other things.
"This is so great," she said looking at Brooke. "I can't wait to see this movie."
"I know, me too. Julian's so excited about it and he's so proud of it too." Brooke smiled thinking about how Julian beamed when he talked about it. It was finally his time to be excited and proud of something. "I'm so proud of him."
"You should be."
A few seconds of silence passed between them before Brooke looked back at Haley. "You have to come to Tric with us tonight. Lucas called me earlier and said that he's planning some live entertainment for tonight. And he has a surprise for everyone. Please tell me you'll come with us."
"Of course I will. I wanna spend as much time with everyone as I can before I go back to New York."
Brooke pouted. "Can't you just move home? I mean everyone misses you Hales. And you belong here."
Haley ran her hand through her long blonde hair and sighed. She'd been back in Tree Hill less than 24 hours and she felt happier than she had in months. She loved the city but everyone she loved was here. But how could she ask Jonnie to leave the job he loved and move to Tree Hill with her, especially when she was the reason he moved to New York in the first place?
"I wish I could."
"You can! Don't you think you and Jonnie would be happy here? I know you're happy here."
"I am. Trust me I'm so happy being home but Jonnie loves his job and he's great at it. He can't move here. And how would it look if I moved back home and left him there?"
Brooke nodded her head even though she didn't agree at all. She was sure that if it was something that would make Haley happy Jonnie would do it. And just because she came home wouldn't mean she loved him any less. It was selfish of her to think this and even suggest it but she missed her best friend. Both of them. She just wanted all of the people she loved to be in the same place. Was that too much to ask?
"I understand," Brooke replied. "But think about it, please? I mean I think you guys would be way happier here."
"I'll think about it."
She'd already been thinking about it. But there just wasn't any way. No matter how much her heart ached to come home.
Nathan walked through the doors of Tric with Clay and Sarah following behind him. Lucas had invited all of them to come that night for the first night of live entertainment in a long time. Nathan wasn't sure how he'd managed to plan something like this so quickly but he wanted to support his brother.
The club was packed with people and they made their way closer to the bar. Lucas and Lindsey were already standing there talking with Chase and they smiled at the 3 of them when they reached them. Lindsey embraced Sarah in a hug before greeting Clay and Nathan with smiles. Lucas set his bottle of beer back against the counter before hugging his brother and friend.
"Luke this place is packed!" Clay said. "Who's playing tonight?"
"Bastille," Lucas said. "They're British. I'm shocked that they're even able to play here tonight."
Nathan listened to Lucas talk about getting the band for that night and he still wondered how he'd done it. From what he'd heard from his brother earlier, having live entertainment was a pretty spur of the moment decision but he'd done it.
He turned his head and looked to the other side of the bar and saw Alex sitting alone with a glass of water in front of her. By the look on her face she was deep into her thoughts and she looked upset. He walked away from the other three and over to where she was sitting before taking a seat next to her.
"I hope you're not thinking about ordering a drink."
Alex looked up and smiled when she saw Nathan sitting next to her. She'd lost track of how long she'd been sitting at the bar staring at her glass of water. When she arrived it hadn't been that crowded but now there seemed to be people everywhere. She was completely lost in her thoughts until Nathan had showed up.
"Trust me I want to," she replied and ran her hand through her hair. "But I won't."
"What's going on Dupre?" Nathan asked. "I haven't seen you with a pouty face in a while."
She laughed a little and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know I just sucked today. I just felt like I couldn't get it together and Julian's probably totally disappointed in me. And Brooke was there and she saw how awful I was."
"I'm sure Julian's not mad at you. And Brooke probably doesn't care."
"She was probably glad to see me mess up."
Nathan shook his head. "That's not Brooke. She may not be your biggest fan but you can't really blame her for that. I mean didn't you take your clothes off in front of Julian?"
"That was just one time."
"Well, still. But this movie is important to Julian so it's important to her. And she wouldn't want to see anyone mess up anything. Trust me that's not her."
Alex sighed and ran her finger up and down the side of her glass. She was still mortified about today. When she got to the set that morning she was sure that everything would be fine. She had stayed up late the night before with Josh working on their lines. But when she saw the way Brooke and Julian were with each other on set she just forgot all of them. She couldn't focus when they were filming knowing that Brooke was watching her. She kept forgetting her lines and she could hear the frustration in Julian's voice as he had to read the lines back to her. It was mortifying.
"Nathan it was awful!" Alex said, "I'm so embarrassed."
"Everyone has off days. It'll be fine."
Alex leaned into his side. "Thanks Nathan. It means a lot to know that someone has faith in me."
"I promise I'm not the only one."
A few more seconds passed before Nathan waved Chase over and ordered a Jack and Coke. Chase nodded before mixing his drink. When he placed it in front of him he also placed a glass of Root Beer in front of Alex. "I figured you might want something more than water."
He smiled and Alex blushed a little before thanking him. It wasn't like her to blush because of a guy, but she couldn't help it. The bartender was definitely cute. Once Chase walked away she turned and looked at Nathan when she heard him laugh a little.
"What?" she asked.
"You have a thing for Chase?"
"I do not!" she denied. "He's cute that's all."
"Sure, whatever."
"Don't even start with me Nathan. Do you want me to ask you about you and Haley?"
Nathan looked away from her quickly and ran his hand over the back of his neck. He really didn't want her to start asking him about Haley. No matter what she asked him he wouldn't really know what to say. He and Haley were so far from the people they used to be and he really wasn't sure where they stood. Were they even friends anymore?
"That's what I thought," she said with a shake of her head.
Haley sat on a plush couch in the library with her laptop on her lap trying to focus on the paper she was supposed to be finishing. It was the last assignment of her college carrier and she was so ready to be done. She had loved her time at Duke and she was happy to have the great people in her life that she did because of this place. But it was time to graduate soon and she was so ready to do it.
She'd been offered and internship at a small record label in New York City and in three months she was moving there. It terrified her to think about starting a new life in a new city all over again. She remembered how terrified she had been when she started college and now that same sense of dread was taking over her now.
Jonnie had moved back to South Carolina after he graduated the year before and he still managed to come visit her from time to time. Things had been going well with him but she always felt guilty whenever she talked to Nathan. He had told her that he trusted her and he understood that she couldn't cut Nathan out her life. But she saw the look on his face any time he was mentioned.
The truth was that she hadn't really talked to Nathan in a long time. It had been months since his last letter and she hadn't spoken to him on the phone in forever. Whenever they were both back in Tree Hill he hardly spoke to her. Things with them had sure changed in the last few years.
"How's that paper?"
Haley looked up Oakley who sat across from her in her own chair. She was dressed in a pair of shorts and a sweatshirt with her hair thrown up into a bun. She had the cap of her highlighter between her teeth and a text book in her lap.
"I just have to write this conclusion and I've restarted it about 100 times."
"Yeah I think I've read this same paragraph like 5 times. I can't concentrate for my life," she replied with her southern drawl. Haley watched as she tossed the book onto the table in front of her before standing and stretching her arms above her head. "I'm gonna get more coffee, do you want anything?"
"No I'm good thanks," Haley replied and stared back at her computer. She'd already had 3 cups in the couple of hours that they had been sitting in the library and it hardly seemed to help her finish. It was close to being 1 in the morning and there were only a handful of students left scattered throughout the library.
Finals week was always busy on campus and Haley was feeling the pressure to finish strong. In just a week she would be graduating and starting a new life all over again. Sometimes she wondered how her life became the way it was. She didn't feel like the girl she used to be in high school. That girl had disappeared.
A few minutes passed before Oakley returned with a large coffee and a bagel in her hand. She plopped back down in her seat and ran her hand over her face. She was exhausted and she wasn't sure how she was even awake right now. Looking over at Haley she could see the same exhaustion on her face.
Haley re-read what she had typed on her computer a few more times trying to think of something else to say. She was at the point where she just felt like she was repeating herself and everything just seemed like crap. Clearing her throat she prepared to finish up the final paragraph but stopped when the sound of her cell phone ringing caught her attention. Who would be calling her at 1 in the morning?
She reached into the top zipper of her backpack and pulled out her cellphone. She was surprised to see Lucas across the screen and she quickly answered it. "Lucas Scott what are you doing calling me so late?" she asked with a laugh. No matter what the reason she was happy to be hearing from one of her best friends.
"Haley, it's Nathan," Lucas replied with sadness laced through his voice and suddenly her heart dropped. "He's being flown to Charlotte. He was shot. They don't know if he's going to make it."
That was the moment that she felt her world falling apart all over again.
Standing in the spare bathroom in Brooke's house Haley suddenly recalled that moment. She wasn't sure what had caused that memory to come to mind but now she couldn't stop replaying it. She remembered throwing her books back into her bag and shutting down her computer and running towards the exit. Oakley had been shouting out to her asking her what was wrong but she could hardly answer.
When she made it back to her dorm she grabbed her car keys and raced back out to the parking lot to get to her car as quick as she could. She had told Lucas she would meet them there and she had no time to waste. The 2 hour and 13 minute car ride had seemed like the longest of her life. She'd done the drive to that hospital many times and this was just one too many. She could hardly keep her breathing under control as she sped there. The whole time Lucas's words replayed in her head that Nathan might not make it.
By the time she got to the hospital it was past 3 in the morning and Nathan hadn't even arrived yet. It felt like more wasted hours as she sat with his family in the waiting room. Finally when the sun began to rise he was finally being brought in and he was quickly wheeled into surgery. The surgery went on for hours and she hardly kept it together. By the time it was over the doctor told them all that Nathan was still unconscious and he would wake up on his own time. But that was if he woke up at all. He'd lost a lot of blood but it was better that he was back in the states and being treated by some of the best doctors they had.
That had been one of the worst days of her entire life and she hated thinking about it again. She had never been more scared than in those hours. Thinking that she could have lost Nathan too was one of her worst fears. She wasn't sure how she'd make it if she lost him.
"You almost ready?"
Brooke stood in the door way dressed in a tight dark green sweater dress and a pair of dark brown ankle boots. Her hair was curled and pulled back into a pony tail and she looked gorgeous as always. The look of concern on her face grew as she realized that her best friend was crying.
"Haley what's wrong?" she asked and stepped into the bathroom, closer to her friend.
Haley hadn't even realized that she was crying. She didn't have any reason to. Nathan was ok and all she was left with were bad memories. But she couldn't seem to get the tears to stop.
"I'm fine," Haley replied and wiped the tears away. "I was thinking about when Nathan got shot and I guess it just got to me. I don't even know why I'm crying. I'm fine."
Brooke wrapped her arms around her best friend and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Don't even think about that. That was a terrible time and we don't even need to remember it. He's ok so you don't have to think about that."
"I know," Haley replied and shook her head trying to think about something besides that day. "I don't even know why my mind went there."
Brooke nodded wiped away more tears. "Well finish getting ready because we're gonna have a great time tonight and you won't even have to think about that."
Haley nodded and looked back towards the mirror. She ran a tissue under her eyes and wiped away smudges of mascara. Brooke was right. Tonight was all about having fun and the last thing she needed to worry about was something so terrible.
Once she'd finished getting ready with Brooke's help they both made their way down stairs to where Julian was waiting. Soon they were in the car on their way to Tric and all Haley wanted to worry about that night was having a good time. She just wanted to make the best of her time with her friends and not think about some of her worst times.
Nathan and Alex had been dancing to countless songs and having a good time. But when Nathan saw Haley walk through the door he completely forgot about everyone else who was around him. She still had that effect on him. Her long blonde hair was slightly curled and it tumbled down her back. She was in a short, long sleeve, gray dress that had a V in the front and a bow in the back. Under it she wore a pair of black tights and black ankle wedges. She was so beautiful.
"You're staring," Alex said with a laugh and turned her head to look in Haley's direction. "Not that I can blame you, she does look gorgeous."
"I'm not staring," Nathan replied and then looked back down at Alex.
She crossed her arms over her chest and scoffed. "You so are! Why don't you go say hi!"
"No," he replied, "things are weird with us right now. She probably doesn't even want to talk to me."
"Oh come on. You're acting like a 12 year old. How can you guys even be friends if you won't go talk to her?"
She did have a point. He did at least want to be friends with her but every time he'd thought about calling her in the last couple of years he'd remember Jonnie's strict instruction to stay away from her and he had to stick that. As much as he hated it. He was sure that Haley probably thought he hated her or something. But it was quite the opposite.
"I could never just be her friend, Alex."
She watched him stare at her some more and her heart broke for him a little. She knew what it was like to want someone you couldn't have but his feelings for Haley ran much deeper than hers did for Julian. He had never gone out and told her that he was in love with Haley but she knew he was just by the way he looked at her. She suddenly felt jealous. No one had ever looked at her that way.
"Will you please try to have fun tonight?" she asked, bringing his attention back to her.
"I am having fun," Nathan replied with a smile.
From the other side of the club Haley had spotted Nathan with Alex. They were clearly having a deep conversation and she watched the way they smiled at each other and it made her heart ache. She shook her head and ignored the feeling before looking around the room. It was packed full of people and she smiled when she recognized a few. All of her friends who had been at Lucas's the other night were there and then she saw someone else she recognized.
"Ben!" she yelled and ran over to the dark haired man standing just a few feet away from her by the bar.
Ben turned and looked at her and smile overtook his face when he realized who it was. She threw her arms around him in a tight hug. It had been so long since she'd last seen him and she had no idea that he was going to be here. If he was here then that meant that Peyton must have been there too.
"What are you doing here? Is Peyton here?" she rushed out quickly.
"We're moving back here," Ben said.
"No way!" she replied. "That's great!"
After a few minutes Brooke raced up to Haley with Peyton by her side and she quickly embraced her friend in her arms. She had not expected to see her there that night but she was so glad she was there. It only made this trip more worthwhile.
Peyton explained how they decided to move back to Tree Hill and that Lucas had asked her to help him plan this entertainment. Now it seemed like that would be her job here. Now it seemed like everyone she loved was making a life for themselves in Tree Hill and she felt so disconnected from them.
It wasn't long before Bastille took the stage and Haley was instantly drawn into watching them. While she was busy watching them Nathan was still watching her. He loved the way she could be so drawn into something and everything around her just seemed to fall away.
"Go talk to her," Alex said and pushed him towards her. "Go!"
Nathan rolled his eyes and moved closer to where Haley was standing and when he reached her she turned and looked up at him. "Hi," she said, clearly surprised to see him.
"You like the band?" he asked over the loud music.
"They're great," she replied, still watching them. They were singing a song called Laura Palmer, one she knew well. She had heard them through work but had never had the chance to see them and now she couldn't look away from them.
Nathan tried to think of the right words to say to her but he didn't know what to say. She was so caught up in the music and she looked so happy watching them and he realized that there would never be a day when he would stop loving her. He wished he could tell her that, but he couldn't. She wouldn't want to hear that from him anyway.
"Where's Alex?" Haley asked after a minute.
Nathan turned and looked back at Alex who was flirting with Chase from across the bar. "With Chase."
"Did you guys come together?"
"Nope."
Haley nodded and then finally looked at Nathan. He stood much taller than her and she forgot how he had a way of making her feel so short. He was in a thin, long sleeve white hoodie and jeans with a pair of black Nikes on his feet. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows and she glanced down at the watch on his wrist. It was one that she had bought for him a few years before for his birthday. He always looked so handsome.
"You look great Nathan," she said before she could stop herself.
Nathan couldn't help the small smirk that came to his lips. "You always look great, Hales."
She felt the blush painting her cheeks and she looked down at her shoes, hoping that he wouldn't see it. Earlier she felt like all she could focus on was the band but now that he was standing next to her she could hardly keep herself from looking at him. Just being near him was dangerous for her but she couldn't deny that she was happy to be near him. She'd missed him so much.
He leaned in closer to her so he could whisper to her. "I'm sorry if I've been weird to you. Trust me I'm glad you're home."
"I'm glad I'm home too."
Nathan smiled once more before turning to walk back to where Alex was standing. She found it hard to look away from him and to get her beating heart under control. She wasn't sure how much longer he would have that effect on her but part of her knew that would never go away.
Let me know what you think about this chapter!
Song for this chapter:
Laura Palmer- Bastille.
Like I said before I definitely recommend anything by Bastille. I love them.
