AND DREAM AWAY
Chapter 29
After dawn I came back in and went thru me old stuff, tossed most of it. I'd no time to remove any traces before. Luckily I'd been on the ship when the Queen found our teleport. She'd never found this place or it would've been gutted. Would have to start looking for Rufe. Maybe cat could help. Wanted to forget him along with everything else from the past.
Have to get more clothes. Needed to make room for Alice's stuff anyway. For when she did move in, and she would. Had to believe that.
There were more people in the city now, maybe this wasn't a good place to live anymore. Alice would pick where she wanted to live. No sense renovating this too much if she wanted to live somewhere else. Would have to take her out to the farm.
Went down to introduce meself to the caretaker and ask him to change the locks. Offered him a stack of paper if he could get that done and a couple new mattress sets delivered by afternoon and the old ones removed. Called Alice on me cell to ask if she wanted a hard, soft or in between one. May as well do the guest room at the same time.
"In between, I guess. Never thought about it." She yawned.
"Why aren't you here yet?" Held the phone away to tell the caretaker to get King size, not hard, not soft.
"What? I'm not awake yet. Give me an hour."
"An hour? Maybe I should come get you." Would probably need to sleep later. "I've already been to the grocery to get tea and such. Not much choice, let me tell you!"
"We'll find more online, or at a specialty store. Let me get in the shower."
"Ok. Bye." Alice in the shower. Alice all wet and in the shower. Alice. Closed the cell and tried to make lists of things I needed. Things I just needed for today. For tonight.
We were in Macy's, I'd lost track of the things she'd picked out. Smiling in her eyes, daydreaming, when it dawned on me her voice had changed.
"Hatter! Wake up!" she was shaking me arm.
"What? I am awake." Mumbled. "What?"
"You were a thousand miles away." She laughed. "What about these? Do you like these?" Alice pushed a package in me chest. Both hands came up to grab it and me heart stopped. Couldn't breathe, couldn't speak, couldn't move. There in me hands was a set of white satin sheets. White satin sheets! Closed me eyes and brought up the memory. Knew just how they felt, just how she looked tangled in them. Blimey.
"Hatter? If you don't like them, we can get something else…" she tried to take them back, but me hands tightened, digging into the package, held them close.
"No! These are… perfect. Just… perfect. I'll carry them." Oh Alice. You better hope there's not a new mattress at the loft. No, you better no' come into the loft at all.
"Hatter, are you ok?" she looked at me in concern. "Your voice is all funny."
"Alice..." Swallowed and tried again. "You remember the dream on the ledge?" wanted to touch her, but me hands were full. White satin sheets!
"What? Oh. Dream?" she answered. "Oh you mean the true-dream hallucination thing." She nodded cautiously. "I did kiss you…" She nodded again.
"I didn't tell you, but I had several. Most every time I touched you, there was something..something more."
"You touched me all the time." She grinned. "So? What did you see? Did they come true?"
"White satin sheets figured in a lot of them." Traced me fingers across the package. "These sheets. You figured in all of them." Looked back at her.
"Oh." She looked up at me and there was something deep in her eyes. Something I couldn't read. "What was I doing…on these sheets?"
"Don't tease me." Shook me head. "There's nothing I want more than to get you on these white satin sheets." Managed to hold the sheets in one hand and pull her close for a kiss with the other. White satin sheets!
"Hatter!" She whispered against me lips. "Remember where we are."
"Right. Where's the bed department again?" Sheets squashed between us.
"Hatter!" Alice giggled and pushed me back. "Let's go back to your loft, ok"
"Yes. Yes. Yes." I turned to go, her arm in one hand. Sheets in the other. "Go."
"Hatter! We have to pay for stuff, we have to pay for the sheets." She laughed and tried to take the sheets from me.
"Sheets." Clutched them tighter. "I'll pay for the sheets."
Alice pried them out of me fingers at the check out. And then they were in a bag where no one else could see them. White satin sheets!
The loft was full of delivery people and more boxes from Chess. At least the locks were changed and the mattresses were here. Gave Alice a key and told her I considered this her place too even if she didn't live here. Yet.
Someone else came in the door with another box.
I growled and stomped into the kitchen. Alice laughed and followed me, taking the sheets and going back out into the living room. Sighed and opened the fridge. Nothing looked good. Shut the fridge and opened the cupboards, taking out everything I needed to make pizza for Alice. It was already late afternoon, lunch was a long time ago.
"Hatter?" Alice came up behind me, hugging me while me hands were wrist deep in dough.
"Alice!" I turned in her arms. A new delivery man was in the living room. I sighed and spread a towel over the dough.
"Listen, I'm gonna run home for a bit." She grinned. "I'll be back." She glanced around at the mess. "You need all this to make a pizza? I usually just get a box."
"A box? No. A box? Are you crazy?" Whole wheat and bread flour was everywhere, piles o' sliced onions, peppers, mushrooms, black olives, And o' course the pepperoni. Mozzarella, Monterey Jack and Cheddar had their own little piles. Open bottles o' spices. Sauce simmering on the stove. No' such a big mess. Gonna need a new stove, a whole new kitchen.
"You need some help?" She asked shaking her head. "Smells good." She bent over the sauce.
"No, I'm good." Pizza's easy, "You can clean up."
"Ha." She laughed. "No, don't kiss me, you'll get flour all over me." She danced away.
We ate at the island, side by side on the wrought iron stools. Alice moaned and went into raptures over the pizza. It was only pizza. Wait till I made her cream cakes.
Afterward we sat on the new sofa drinking wine. I pretended no' to notice the backpack by the door.
"You didn't open any of the boxes Chess sent." They were piled in the corner, some sitting on the piano. Alice had touched the keys earlier. It was sadly out o' tune.
"Mmmm" Set me glass on the coffee table and turned around to lay me head in her lap. The sun had long set and I was getting sleepy.
"They'll be there tomorrow." Closed me eyes while Alice's fingers played in me hair.
"Hatter?"
"Hmmm"
"Hatter!" She tugged me hair. "Are you asleep?"
"Mmmm" Turned on me side and nuzzled into her. "Just a little nap… a little nap"
"How can you be sleepy already? It's barely eight o'clock!" She shook me.
"Haven't slept…yet." Just a little nap, Alice.
"Since when? Hatter? Since when?" Why was she shaking me.
"Hmmm." Tried to think. Not last night or the night before so …. Opened me eyes and looked up at her. "Last time I woke up, you'd left Charlie's camp and were hell bent on getting captured. Don't leave me Alice."
"You haven't slept since then?" She asked incredulously.
"Mmmm. No wait, musta slept when Dee and Dum had me. Dreamed, anyway."
"Dreamed? What do you mean dreamed?" She shook me. "Hatter?"
"Mmmm. Bad dreams. Bad dreams about Alice." I could hear her calling me name from far away.
When I woke, me head wasn't in Alice's lap anymore. Sat up quickly and looked around. She was in the kitchen, doing the dishes, cellphone between ear and shoulder. I'd have to have a dishwasher installed. The only light was the one over the sink.
Backpack was not by the door. Looked around for it, didn't see it. She saw me awake and smiled at me over the island. Wiped her hands and closed the phone.
"Who was that?" I asked walking to her and nuzzling her neck.
"Chess. She wanted—"
"Don't care. Not tonight. "Pushed her against the sink and kissed her. "Not tonight."
"Hatter!" She giggled. "So you don't sleep?"
Lifted her hair and kissed her under the ear, down her neck and back again. Put a love bite on the side of her neck and licked under her chin. Held her close.
"Of course, I sleep. You just saw me sleep." Muttered into her neck. Another love bite just here. Could put a whole circle around her… stopped. Let her go and stepped back.
Her eyes were all fuzzy and confused. "Hatter?"
Stared at her in fear. What had I almost done? Bloody hell. Left her standing in the kitchen staring at me. Paced around the living room trying to think.
"Hatter? What's wrong?" she followed me and sat on the couch, feet tucked up under her.
"Jack was right." Looked at her in anguish. I couldn't stay. What had they done to me?
"Jack lied about everything, remember?" She patted the couch beside her.
"No." Shook me head. "Alice, I .." drug me hand thru me hair. Where was me hat.
"Hatter! Stop this and sit down. Tell me what's happened." She was so beautiful. I'd miss her something awful now that I'd kissed her, touched her.
Alice stood and pulled me to the couch, to sit beside her. She took me hand, me left hand. The one that killed her. Alice. Tried to tug it free, but she held on.
"No. Stop it and tell me what's wrong." She tilted me head so I had to look at her.
"Hatter?"
"I.. I.. dreamed." stuttered. "Killed you Alice. A circle o' love bites around your neck and I strangled you. I.."
"What?" Shook her head. "Love bites? You dreamed you gave me some love bites and then strangled me?"
"Yes. No. Jack put the love bites around your neck and… and I.." Couldn't say what I did. Couldn't say that.
"Well there you see it's not a true dream! Jack never gave me a love bite."
"Wasn't one of the true-dreams. Was from Dee and Dum, a Dream nightmare." I could go to London, they rebuilt the townhouse. The farm was too close.
"Then it's not real. Hatter, it's not real." She held me head still, to look in me eyes.
"Alice, I was going to put love bites all around your neck!" Shook her hands off. "Just like in the nightmare." Dropped me head.
"Hatter, look at me." She turned me head, fingers on me chin. "You can cover my neck in love bites, and take this hand," She lifted me right hand and held it around her neck. I shook me head, no. no. "And I know… I know you'd never hurt me." Pulled me hand away and clenched it tight. "They drugged you, it wasn't real! It wasn't you!"
"Wasn't that hand." Closed me eyes. Oh Alice, I'll miss you.
She made an exasperated sound and took both me hands and held them around her neck. "Open your eyes and look at me." She ordered. Opened me eyes and sighed.
"I trust you, Hatter. Completely."
"Alice, who knows…what if they … what if they put commands into me brain? What if I just go into a trance and kill you?" I had to get away now.
"Stop it! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" She shook me. "They wouldn't give you commands to kill me. I was already supposed to be gone. And you probably weren't supposed to live thru it anyway. It was just a nightmare to torture you."
Thought about what she said. Might be true. Might be me looking for any reason no' to leave her. "Yeah?"
"Yeah." She pulled me into a hug. "Now, where were we?" Alice nuzzled me neck and bit me earlobe. I sighed and tangled me hands in her hair. But I didn't forget.
"Alice, that's no' where we were." Whisper ending in a squeak when she bit me neck. "Alice!" Breathed into her hair. "Do you know what you're doing?"
"No. Not really." She laughed, making another bite. "But I'm having fun. Hold still."
Reaching between us, she fingered the top button on me shirt. No one has ever undone a button as slowly as Alice. I wanted to pull her hand away and rip the buttons off. She giggled and started on the second button. I kicked me boots off.
"No, don't kiss me, I can't see." She twisted her head and looked down. Slipped me hands under her tee shirt and up to cup her breasts. She shivered, and continued on the button. Two down, six to go. Slipped two fingers under the bra straps and slid them down her shoulder as far as the tee shirt would allow. Thumb and forefinger in back and it was unhooked. Now, shirt and bra would come off at once. Slid both hands under her bra and moaned. Or was that her moaning. Didn't matter. Another button, five to go.
"Hatter?" She whispered against me lips. "Hatter!"
"Mmm?" Me lips were busy, fingers dancing across her breasts.
"Hatter?" She giggled. Another button, four to go.
"MMM?" One more button and I couldn't take it anymore, pulled her teeshirt and bra off tangling her arms.
"Hatter!" Her fingers let go me buttons while the teeshirt was wrapped around her head so I ripped the last few open and tossed me shirt on the floor. Pulled her tight against me, naked skin to naked skin.
"Hatter!" I liked her voice when it got all soft and breathy. Ran me fingers down her back and inside the top of her jeans, tickling around her waistband. She touched me back, ran her hands across the scars, making me shiver. I stood with her still in me arms and started towards the bedroom.
Kissed her face, her neck and was working me way down when she interrupted me.
"Hatter?" She struggled in me arms so I set her down. "Hatter wait, I need …"
"You need what?" There was a sad serious look in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" wrapped me arms around her. What had I done?
"Hatter." She looked down. "I… this is hard for me to say out loud." She mumbled into me neck. Petted her hair and shh'd her.
"'s ok, Alice. Don't be embarrassed. You can tell me anything."
"I'm… If I don't.. I can't…Jack said.."
Lifted her chin with two fingers. "I don't give a fuck what Jack said. Whatever it was, it was a lie." She smiled and shook her head.
"No, it would be nice to believe that, but it wasn't only Jack."
"What wasn't only Jack?" Going to be a long night.
"I don't … Jack said he'd be patient, but…"
"Clumsy bastard, did he hurt you Alice?" I'd get back there somehow and hurt him.
"No." she said in a small voice. "There's something wrong with me."
"What! No. no. and no. Alice, you're the most exciting, sexiest woman I've ever …met!" Kissed her hard.. "Jack… all them, stupid, bloody bastards." Whispered into her mouth, hands on her back, smoothing it down to cup her ass, pulling her tighter against me.
"Do you feel me Alice?" Whispered in her mouth. "Do you feel this?"
"Yes." She shivered in me arms. "but, Hatter." She pushed away, pulled her teeshirt back on, turned toward the windows. " but …" she shrugged. "I don't want to disappoint you." She whispered.
"Listen to me Alice." Drug a hand thru me hair. "You turn me on like nothing I've ever felt." Stood beside her but her shoulders were stiff. "You like it when I touch you." Sighed and went to the piano.
"You're like this piano Alice." Touched a few keys. She turned at the sound. I'd ignored her when she'd asked if I played before. Not really. Not anymore.
Touched middle C and let the sound fade. "That's you Alice, when someone touches you with love, with need. Your body sings." Crashed a fist on the keys and let the discordant noise sound. "That's when some bloody bastard puts his hands on you."
She walked closer to me, stood beside me as I played a little melody.
"That's nice."
"Me Mum taught me that when I was small."
"I'm sorry Hatter. I just…" She sat down beside me and touched the keys.
"Alice, I promise, you'll sing. And you'll cry and whimper and moan. You'll scream me name." Kept playing and she giggled shaking her head.
"And you'll do it because you can't help it. Because like this song…. The melody is in you. Just takes someone who loves you to bring it out."
"I want it be good with you, I want…" She touched another key and I put her fingers on three keys and showed her a simple chord. It fit into the melody I was playing. Simple and light.
"We belong together Alice and like this little song, it's better together, yeah? Good? Nah, it's gonna be fantastic, amazing, wonderful, mind bending, thrilling, fabulous, etc etc etc."
She looked up and smiled at me, missing a key. She curled her fingers into fists and stopped playing.
"That's me, Alice." Took her fists in mine and brought them up to me mouth. "When I look at you, I forget what I'm doing, what I'm thinking." Grinned. "Sometimes I even forget to breathe. Yeah?"
"Yeah?" She smiled at me. "I know what you mean."
"It's getting late." I said glancing out the windows. "And you have a class tomorrow."
She pulled her hands back and stood. "Yes, I guess I should go." Looked around for her shoes.
"Alice," I stood and touched her shoulder. "If I promise just to hold you, would you stay with me tonight?"
She turned and looked up at me. "I thought you were throwing me out." She wrapped her arms around me waist and hugged me.
"I'd never do that. I want you with me always. Will you stay?"
She nodded her head against me shoulder. Scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom.
She'd made the bed, turned it down ready to climb in. white satin sheets still in the package on the dresser. Sighed and laid her in the bed. She rolled over and I climbed in beside her.
"Lights out." Pulled her close and she giggled.
"Hatter, you have to turn the lights off. And you should probably take your clothes off."
"Oh. Yeah. Sure." Got up and threw shirt and jeans in the chair. Flipped the light switch. Alice undressed under the covers and threw her clothes towards the chair.
I pulled her close to me, spooned against her back.
"Hatter?" She snuggled back against me.
"Hmm?" Wrapped me arms around her and held her tight.
"Will you make love to me?"
Opened me eyes in the dark. "Yes. When you ask me right. Now go to sleep."
"What's the right question?" She tried to twist and turn over to look at me but I held her still.
"You'll know. When you're ready. Go to sleep."
"Goodnight Hatter."
"Goodnight Alice. I love you."
Waited till her breath was deep and even and slid out of the bed. Pulled on me jeans, grabbed me leather jacket and cell, out the kitchen window and up to the roof.
"Cat?" I settled in, back against the wall. Wish I'd thought to put me boots on.
"Hatter. What's wrong?"
"Why would something be wrong?"
"Oh, you just called to chat?"
"No." I sighed. "Something's wrong."
"Uh huh."
"Cat, I'm afraid. Will you look in me mind and see if Dee and Dum left something in there?"
"Something what? It doesn't work that way."
"Some kind of trigger. Something to make me hurt Alice."
"You wouldn't hurt Alice."
"Then how are you in me head? What good does it do?" Slammed me fist against the brick.
"I'm in your head via a neural transmitter. I was there Hatter. Dee and Dum didn't put any verbal commands in your head to do anything."
"When did you put a transmitter in me head?" Frowned at that.
"When your uncle redid your hand."
"Me hand is a long way from me head!" I could hear cat chuckling.
"Anyways, I want you promise me something."
"I don't really do promises."
"Cat. Please. You have to. Or I'll have to leave Alice."
Big sigh. "What is it?"
"Promise me that if I try to hurt Alice, you'll send a signal to that transmitter in me head, to kill me. Don't let me hurt Alice." It was the best I could think o' to keep her safe.
"No. Listen to me stupid boy, you have never, ever once hurt anyone with your hand by mistake. Not after that first time."
"Promise me cat. I never lost control with anyone like I do when I'm with Alice."
"Ah, so things are going well." Was she purring?
"Promise me. Tonight I started to put a necklace o' love bites around her neck."
"No. So? Did she object?"
"The Dream… the nightmare Dee and Dum put in me? Jack did that and then, after the other stuff, I strangled her." Blinked hard. Didn't like remembering that part.
"Stupid boy, nightmares come out of your own mind. You are not going to strangle Alice." she sighed. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.*"
"You were there cat. I wanted to kill her, wanted her dead because she slept with Jack. And just a little while ago she almost told me she slept with Jack."
"Hatter, you have to stop listening to the words and hear what she means. Do you want her dead?"
"NO! O' course not!"
"She knows you're jealous of Jack, that you somehow feel he's better than you. She's trying to make you see that it's you that makes her heart sing."
"Please cat. Please promise me." I begged. "Please!"
"Hatter—"
"I'm afraid to go to sleep. I'm afraid what will happen. Today I dozed off on the couch. Was terrified when I woke up. I can't trust meself to let go around her.
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.*"
What if I give you a command sequence?"
"You can give me all the commands you want, I won't kill you. I could never kill you. But I will promise to stop you if you try to strangle Alice."
"Stop me how?"
"I'm an electrical signal in your brain. I'll think of something."
"Thank you cat."
"Now. When are you going to open the stuff I sent? Tomorrow someone's coming to install a security system, and voice controls."
"Good. This place is too manual."
"I've already imprinted your voice and Alice's into the controls."
"How's it going with Jack?"
"Peachy. Jack's used to being ruled by a woman."
" OK then. Thank you cat."
"Don't thank me yet. I have a job for you to do."
"That reminds me, do you know where Rufe is?"
"Yes. Why?"
"I have to find him, explain."
"If things go wrong, don't go with them.*" cat said. "He's bad news. Let it go."
"Can't do that. He probably thinks I just left him here."
"Forget Rufe and let me tell you about this job."
"Tell me tomorrow. I have to be somewhere now."
"Goodnight Hatter."
"Goodnight cat."
Climbed back down, thru the window, into the bedroom and under the covers with Alice. Pulled her tight against me and wrapped both arms around her. She murmured and snuggled against me. I love you Alice.
AN: sorry, couldn't breathe in all that fluff. Had to throw some angst in there. Next time I promise some action, some real smutty smut.
Cheshire Quotes:
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. - Albert Einstein
The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continuallyfearing you will make one. - Elbert Hubbard
If things go wrong, don't go with them. - Roger Babson
Whole Wheat Pizza Dough Recipe1 package active dry yeast (2 teaspoons)
1 cup warm water (105° to 115°, no more)
1 cup whole wheat flour
2 cups all-purpose or bread flour
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, plus a little for coating
1. Dissolve the yeast in the warm water. Set aside. In a large mixing bowl, combine the flour, sugar and salt. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pour the olive oil and yeast mixture into it. Stir until it begins to form a ball, then turn it out onto a clean, floured surface and knead for about 4 or 5 minutes.
Whole wheat dough may take longer to rise. Pizza dough should be a smooth, elastic ball.
2. Lightly oil the ball and the inside of a large glass bowl. Place the dough in the bowl, cover, and let it rise in a warm place until doubled, about an hour. For better crust, punch down the dough, reshape into a ball and let it rise again. You can refrigerate or freeze the dough at this point.
3. Divide the dough into 4 equal portions, about 6 ounces each. Roll each portion into a ball, then, working on a lightly floured surface, stretch the dough and work it with your fingers or a rolling pin to form an 8-inch circle. The outer edge of the circle should be a little thicker than the body, forming a rim. Add toppings.
4. Place stone on the bottom rack of a 425 degrees Fahrenheit oven for 20 minutes to insure that the stone is hot. Transfer to a pizza pan or pizza stone. Bake in a 500° pre-heated oven until the crust is golden brown and the cheese is melted, 10 to 13 minutes, or perhaps a little longer if your oven does not reach 500°.
A 500° oven is perfect. A lower temperature is OK if your oven doesn't go that high; just cook it a little longer.
Tomato Herb Sauce (Marinara Sauce)2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon minced fresh garlic
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1 cup tomato sauce
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
2 tablespoons tomato paste
In a medium saucepan, sauté garlic and onions in olive oil until tender. Add seasonings and continue cooking a few more minutes. Stir in tomato sauce, and then tomato paste. Simmer on low heat for about 10 minutes. Makes about 1 1/2 cups.
Apply oil to the dough with a pastry brush and drizzle a little more on the top of the pizza, if desired. (Watch out for chili oil, it's hot.) Apply half the cheese over the sauce or oil, and half on top.
