Mar 29
I have hardly ever known a mathematician who was capable of reasoning.
Plato (427 BC - 347 BC), The Republic

"This is insane! What's so hard to understand? I have not been paid for two month's work!"

Tony DiNozzo knew the squad room was probably not the ideal place to have this telephone conversation, but if he called on the phones in the Navy Yard, he wouldn't pick up the bill. Seeing as Finance had screwed up for the second month in a row and not paid him, he needed to start saving his quarters.

Glaring at Ziva, who was smirking at him from her desk, he tried to focus on the conversation at the other end of the phone. "Of course I've already reported this! I called you guys last month when I wasn't paid. Someone said they'd look into it."

If this was a prank someone was pulling on him…

"No, I don't remember who it was. They promised they'd sort it out. How hard can it be? Just check you haven't already paid me and then transfer the money."

"It doesn't work like that, Tony," McGee told him at exactly the same time the annoying voice on the other end of the line did.

"Well what's the problem?" he despaired. "I have been working for you; I expect you to pay me. No, don't put me on hold –"

He groaned, seriously hoping Ziva hadn't persuaded someone to withhold his wages or McGee hadn't hacked into Finance and arranged for his money to be given to charity. The electric company was threatening to cut him off if he didn't pay up.

"Hello? Yes, I'm him."

How could this be so complicated?

"What do you mean, I'm dead? I can't be dead! Do I sound dead to you?"

Ziva started snickering. Oh, if she had anything to do with this…

"Why do I need to take a physical to prove I'm alive? How could I be talking to you if I'm dead?"