Sorry, this is a big one. Angelwood.

Needing The Truth.

After Phoenix had eaten every scrap of the Chinese that Ianto had left her, she lays on the sofa with her feet up putting one arm under her head and then the other down her side.

"Are you going to sit up and look at me?" Jack asks her sitting on another sofa.

"If I sit up Jack, I will throw up everywhere after eating all that so if you want me to look at you, you are going to have to come over here," she tells him meaning nothing by it other than she had said.

Jack gets off of the other sofa and comes over to the sofa she was sat on, picks her legs up, sits down and puts her legs over his.

"Who's going to start this then?" Jack asks her as she looks down at him, seeing his hands hovering not knowing where to put them.

"You can put your hands down Jack. I won't jump you or hurt you," she tells him, a little sarcasm in her voice so Jack put's his hand down on her leg, one above her knee and one below her knee.

"Shall I start then as you are avoiding the point again?" he asks her as she puts her other arm under her head.

"You go first as you know more about how I feel then I know about how you feel," she tells him really not wanting to go first.

"Ok. Since you came back less than a week ago, my head has been so tied up in knots. I lost you a long time ago and I mourned you, I mourned you a lot. You were my soul mate and I lost you. It took a long time before I could move on but I started to having feelings for Ianto. It didn't stop me from thinking about you, you were always in the back of my mind. I kept the photo of you and I on that beach but I love Ianto. After everything we have been through lately, I love him more than ever but then you walked back into my life and everything is different, everything feels different," he starts to tell her not looking at her and he sighs.

Phoenix nudges him with her foot and he looks right at her.

"Go on Jack. You said we had to be honest so be honest," she tells him with no look one her face, her face emotionless.

"When you first walked into the Time Agency office, it was like love at first sight for me. The more time we spent together, working and time out of work, my feelings for you grew and I knew you were the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my very long life. When you told me that you were nearly impossible to kill, I knew it. We could spent the rest of time together. At night when you slept, I watched you sleep, imagining seeing you in my bed for the rest of time and it made me smile. I even imagined having a family with you though I didn't say anything until that one day when I joked about you being sick. When you laughed and said it wasn't a good idea, it did crush me but I realised that you said that partly because you were scared of the thought of being a mother, especially knowing who you where. Adina," he continues and takes a minute, his heart beating faster.

"The night that you went and rescued those scientists on your own when I told you not too, that morning waiting for you to come back was torture, wondering if you were hurt, if you were dead, if you had been caught. I was so angry when you came back but when I saw that you were injured, the anger disappeared. You always put yourself on the line for others and amongst all the things I love about you, that is right up there at the top. The holiday we went on was special to me for more reasons than one. Not only was it time off from work but I was there with you, just the two of us and the staff on that beautiful island. The only thing that was wrong with it for me was that it was too short. We spent every minute together, holding hands as we walked along the beach, watching the sun go down as I held you in my arms, laying in bed together as long as we wanted, making love whenever the urge arouse. That holiday was like magic," Jack tells her looking back at her and a tear was running down her face.

"Go on Jack," she tells him looking into his eyes and she could see the pain in his eyes.

"That day, that day the call came, I knew you had something to tell me. I could see it on your face and by the way you were acting. I knew it was important too as you had your hands on your hips and you only ever do that in a show of strength or when your worried about something. When you sat me down in the barracks, I knew you were going to tell me but then the call came. If I had of known Phoenix, I wouldn't have left, I swear I would never have left. If the call had been 10 minutes later, you would have told me about our news, our son and I would have taken you away from there. I would never have let you go into battle knowing the odds and because I left you, because I was a coward and left you to fight alone, you nearly died and we lost our son. It was all my fault," he tells Phoenix and as his tears start to flow freely, Phoenix sat up putting her arms around Jack comforting him.

"It's ok Jack. We both had our part to play in that. What's done is done and can't be changed no matter how much we both want it and that's something we have to both live with," she tells him as Jack puts his arms around her as he cried.

Phoenix gave Jack a few minutes and as his sobbing stopped, she let go of him and looked at him, the last of his tears running down his face so she wiped them away.

"Eventually I came to Earth after travelling with the Doctor but you know that history. I suddenly found myself the boss of Torchwood and then I had to employ people. Then I employed a rather persistent Ianto Jones. He pestered me until I gave in. At first he was just my employee but over time and through things that happened I started seeing him differently and I feel in love with him. We had various battles along the way, mostly my fault but this last one was the worst. I lost him. He left Torchwood and me and it wasn't until that point that I realised that I did love him. After a few dark months, Ianto finally came back to me and I swore that nothing would pull us apart again and then you walked into the hub. Ever since that moment, I don't know what I am doing. It's almost as though my heart has been ripped in equal halves and on one half, your name is etched all over it and on the other half is Ianto's name etched all over it. I am torn between the two of you and I don't know what to do," Jack tells Phoenix who was right next to him.

"That isn't a question I can answer for you Jack, only you can. I suppose it's my turn now then?" she asks him knowing the answer already and Jack smiles at her.

"You know there's a lot about me that I can't tell you, a lot of my history I can't tell you because of time lines and Paradox's as I have crossed my own time line and I am out there in Cardiff somewhere. I never knew my real parents or should I say I couldn't remember them. My memories of them were taken away to protect me as a child. I was dumped on Earth with no-one and nothing. I ended with being adopted but even that didn't last. They were killed in a car crash on my 18th Birthday. All throughout my life, I have lost anyone I ever loved and something pushed me over the edge and I left Earth," she starts looking at her hands as Jack's fingers touched hers.

"A lot had happened to me before I walked into that Time Agency office and I had made a vow that I would never let anyone close enough to me to leave me, everyone left me in the end. And there you sat, Captain Jack Harkness. Tall, dark, handsome with an American accent and charming to boot but didn't you just know it. I thought you was an arrogant sod to start with but as we spent more time together, I started to see the real you and I started to feel things that I vowed I never would and by the second week, I was totally in love with you. Then when you told me and proved to me you couldn't die, I knew it, I had found my soul mate, someone who I could love and you would never die on me," She tells him and then stops, seeing his fingers intertwined with hers and Jack's eyes on hers.

"That night I killed you with my sword, I did it to protect you. I knew that the only chance we stood was I absorbed their life forces and you were teaming with it. That's why I had to kill you. I would have drained you dry. It hurt me to do it as I knew I would cause you pain when you came back. That night, the first time we made love was amazing, so gentle, so passionate, I knew from that moment I wanted to be with, I felt it with all my heart. The more time we spent together, the more I loved you, the serious you, the charming you, the childish you. That holiday was more than just perfect Jack, it was were I conceived our son," she tells him as it was her turn to cry, Jack now holding her hands and Squeezing them tightly.

"The day that you joked about me being pregnant was a strange day for me. After we had made lover and you grabbed a shower, I lay in bed and thought about it. I knew that you had been seriously thinking about it even when you said that you had only thought about it fleetingly, your eyes gave it away and I thought about it seriously. I thought about what I would be like to have a child with you, how our lives would change and what it would be like to have a family, a family of my own. Something that I had craved for so long, a family to love and that loved me. That night I dared to dream, to dream of what a child from us would look like boy or girl, what he or she could do, would he or she take after you or me. A week later and I didn't feel right, I knew something was wrong so I went to see a Doctor. Sat in that office seeing our son on the screen, it scared the life out of me but made me so happy at the same time. I would soon have a family, in nine weeks. You , me and our son," Phoenix tells Jack and both of them cry.

"I am so sorry," Jack tells her and she shakes her head.

"It wasn't meant to be Jack so don't be sorry. That almost fatal night, I was so tired. We had been fighting for so long, our comrades falling all around us, I just wanted it to be over and then your ran. I called your name but you didn't turn back. That instant my heart broke and the enemy swamped me. I was drowning in a sea of the enemy, I couldn't break and all I wanted was for you to pull me out again but you never came. I awoke 4 weeks later to find out that our baby hadn't survived but I knew it, I could feel it. I didn't eat, I didn't drink, I just wanted to fade away, there was no point anymore until someone came and dragged me out of the dark. A little girl, the village elders daughter. She was beautiful, like a little angel and she pulled me out of the dark. She fed me when I was too weak to fed myself, she read stories to me, she held my hand as I cried and she was only 7 years old. She saved my life and nursed me back to health. She was the one who convinced me to be the Dark Avenger again and help others who were "Broken Hearted like me," she said but I failed her, I couldn't save her when she needed me. I got there to late," Phoenix tells him getting up off of the sofa, tearing her hands from his and moving to the desk, her tears uncontrollable now.

Jack gets off of the sofa and goes to her putting his arms around her and she turned to him as he held her tight.

"How did you fail her? You became the Dark Avenger again," Jack asks her not understanding.

"The Devourer. While I was away it came, tore through them. Without me there, they didn't stand a chance. By the time I got back to the planet, they were all dead. That's is their planet that I live on now. Now you know why I buried them all. It was all my fault. If I had of been there I could of killed The Devourer then and I would never have been sent here, sent back to Torchwood, sent back to you. I wouldn't be here breaking my heart every day I am here," Phoenix tells him pushing him away from her.

"Why is your heart breaking?" Jack asks her walking back to her.

"Because I love you Jack. I always have and I always will. My heart is breaking because you are my soul mate, you are the only one who has ever understood me and never judged me for what I have done. My heart is breaking because when The Devourer comes, I will be making my last stand, I'm too tired to carry on fighting. As long as I destroy The Devourer, I'll be happy," she tells him looking away from him.

"Don't you dare say that. Don't you dare say that this is going to be your last stand. You are going to make it through this. You are stronger than all of us. You are the strongest person I know. I won't let this happen Phoenix," he tells her putting his hand on the side of her face and looking deep into her eyes.

She closes her eyes feeling his touch on her face, her heart racing and then she feels his lips gently press against hers.