A Skilene-Filled September
Scenario 29: "Switched"
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
As Kowalski strapped the brainwave monitor encased in a helmet onto Skipper's head, Skipper had a question.
"This isn't going to hurt is it?" Skipper asked. "I don't mind you using me to aid in your research, but I am against anything that's going to cause me any displeasure or weird side effects."
"You won't feel a thing," Kowalski replied as he then moved on to place an identical unit on Marlene's head. "The only thing these head units are going to do is collect data on your brainwaves so that I can compare the differences between bird and mammal reactions to different visual stimuli."
"So you're essentially proving that birds are smarter, right?" Skipper inquired.
Marlene turned to Skipper and looked at him in a way which suggested "What gives?"
"And proving that Marlene is the smartest of all mammals, of course," Skipper then added.
"Actually, Skipper, intelligence is not the focus of this study," Kowalski replied. "Just comparing the differences in reactions and understanding why."
Kowalski then waddled a few feet away to the table where his machine which recorded the data from the two head units was located. He sat down on a cinderblock and then flipped the machine on.
"We will now begin the experiment," he said. "Both of your head units are wired to this data recorder in front of me. All I would like each of you to do is to simply look at the image or object I hold up and to try not to think about anything else. It's really quite straightforward and should only take about 10 minutes in total."
Kowalski then reached to his right and held up a small blue cube for Skipper and Marlene to look at.
"Excellent," he said as he looked at the monitor on the data recorder and saw both of his subjects' reactions. "Onward to stimuli number two."
Kowalski then held up a card of which half was purple and the other half green. He placed it down after confirming reactions to it had been recorded, then prepared to pick up the next item. But just as he got it into his flipper, the data recorder began to buzz.
"Is that part of the experiment?" Skipper then asked of the sound.
"Um," Kowalski replied as he tried to figure out the problem himself.
"Kowalski, your machine is smoking!" Marlene then exclaimed as a few puffs of smoke began to come out of the data recorder.
"Yeah, we've got an anomaly all right!" Kowalski declared as he began shutting the recorder down. "Better get those helmets off just to be on the safe side. We don't want any collateral damage to result from–"
But before Kowalski could even finish his sentence, the complete data recorder caught fire and sent an electrical current up the wires connected to the two head units. The shock caused Skipper and Marlene to be thrown across the room.
After quickly blasting out the fire with a fire extinguisher, Kowalski waddled over to Skipper and Marlene, who were OK and beginning to take off their helmets.
"Kowalski, wasn't it you who said 'You won't feel a thing'?" Skipper then asked.
"Yes it was," Kowalski replied. "I'm sorry about that, Marlene."
"Marlene?" Skipper wondered. "I'm the Skipper!"
Kowalski gasped.
"Holy Ben Franklin!" he exclaimed. "Skipper, you're an otter!"
"What?" Skipper yelled as he turned from Kowalski to the other penguin in the room. "So that would make that–"
"Marlene," Marlene said in her normal voice, but from within Skipper's body.
"Kowalski, you made me into a mammal!" Skipper yelled.
"What have you against mammals?" Marlene asked, awkwardly through the beak of a bird.
"Well, for one thing, I want my feathers back," Skipper replied. "Get me out of here now!"
"OK, calm down, Skipper," Kowalski said as he then waddled over to what remained of his contraption. "I'm sure science has an explanation for what went wrong and how to remedy it."
"I would certainly hope so," Marlene said as she struggled to walk and then fell onto the floor. "How do you penguins walk with such short legs?"
"It's called waddling," Skipper answered as he reached a paw down to help Marlene up from the floor. "You'll get the hang of it. But I've sure got some questions for you right about now."
Kowalski then came back over to them.
"I think I found the cause," he reported. "There were two causes, actually. The first was using a 20-amp fuse when I should have used a 60-amp one. The second was that I made the mistake of reconstructing the same internal workings I had used inside the colander head units when we switched Rico and Roger's minds into components of your brainwave monitoring helmets."
"So Skipper's brain is now inside of my body?" Marlene asked.
"Technically, no," Kowalski replied. "Your physical brain is still inside of you, but every mental thought making up your personality has been switched to be that of Skipper's. But it has the same effect as if both brains were physically switched, only you don't need to have a medical license to rearrange brains this way."
"Well, have you fixed your contraption yet?" Skipper asked. "I'd really like to get back to being a penguin now."
"Well, I have some good news and some bad news about that," Kowalski replied. "The good news is that I'm sure I can fix the two of you to be your correct species again. The bad news is that it's going to take a day for me to get things ready to do the switch."
"A day?" Skipper exclaimed. "What are Marlene and I going to do while we wait? We just can't go about living like we normally do, because won't the zookeepers and visitors wonder why there's an otter in the penguin habitat and vice versa?"
"Indeed you're right, Skipper," Kowalski replied. "So you two are going to have to pretend to be the other for the next day to avoid any humans from thinking something is up. Skipper, you'll go live in Marlene's habitat and pretend you're an otter, while Marlene will stay at the HQ with us and be our fourth penguin."
Kowalski then turned to Marlene.
"There's this dance and performance routine we do for the humans each day," he said. "You'll have to learn it because you are a penguin for the next 24 hours."
"There's also a certain way to swallow a fish," Skipper added. "I'll teach you how so you don't accidentally choke on one."
"Thanks," Marlene smiled. "And I'll tell you how to do all of my diving and swimming moves so you can really sell yourself as an otter to the visitors."
"Well, while the two of you help each other figure out how to be the otter, I've got a lot of work to get started on so I can switch you both back as soon as possible," Kowalski said.
With that, Kowalski left and Skipper and Marlene continued to talk about how to be each other for the next day.
The next morning, when it was time for the penguins' performance in front of the zoo visitors, Marlene joined Kowalski, Rico, and Private in the show. Taught well by Skipper, Marlene did impressively well, so much so that she received the most cheers and applause from the audience out of the whole group.
"Well done, Marlene," Kowalski said as he high-fived her at the end of the show.
"Splendid!" Private remarked.
"Yup," Rico agreed.
Meanwhile, over at the otter habitat, Skipper was doing a good job as well being an otter for a day. The visitors were impressed by his flips and dives. Several, despite the zoo's rule against feeding the animals, proudly defied it by tossing pieces of popcorn to the otter as a reward for an amazing aquatic display.
"I guess being a mammal can have its advantages," Skipper said as he stuffed some popcorn into his mouth.
A short few hours later, Private came by.
"Hey, Skipper, Kowalski is ready to get your and Marlene's minds back in order," he said. "Come on back to the HQ."
"Thanks, Private," Skipper replied as he then left the otter habitat and went back to the HQ with Private.
There, Marlene was already sitting with her helmet on ready to go. Once Kowalski secured the identical unit on Skipper's head, it was time to correct their conditions.
"This will either work flawlessly or make matters far worse by merging your bodies into such an unholy rearrangement that Picasso himself would find it unartful," Kowalski then said. "With that thought to ponder, we will now begin."
Kowalski then turned on the blender that the mind switching machine was attached to and went through its various speeds until he saw the flash he was looking for. He then immediately turned off the blender and waddled over to the penguin he now hoped was Skipper.
"Are you back, sir?" he asked as he removed the penguin's helmet.
"Sure am, soldier!" Skipper replied, now back in penguin form, as he smiled. "Better than ever, I might add."
Kowalski smiled in relief, then went over to Marlene.
"And you must be Marlene," he said as he removed her helmet.
"Yes," she replied. "It's good to be back."
The four penguins and Marlene then began to celebrate the success, with high-fives all around. But after a few moments of celebration, Skipper cleared his throat.
"I'd like to say a little something about this whole situation," he then said. "Marlene, could you come stand in front of me for a moment?"
Marlene then came over to stand in front of Skipper.
"Marlene, having to be an otter – having to be you – for the past day has really made me be able to understand you a lot better," he said. "Thank you for all of your help."
"You're welcome, Skipper," Marlene replied. "Thank you for all of your help, too. I now understand what being a penguin is all about as well."
"Well, I think that this mind switch scenario has also made us closer, both literally and figuratively," Skipper continued. "So close that I feel comfortable doing this in front of everyone."
He then reached out and hugged Marlene.
"I think I somehow found you while I was being you," he said.
Marlene smiled as well and reached out to hug Skipper back.
"Me, too," she said. "Though our minds and bodies are now back the way they should be, I think I still have a bit of you in my heart."
"And you can keep it," Skipper said as he held onto Marlene tighter. "Because I'm keeping the one I have of you."
