AN: Y'all, I am so sorry for the long delay! I've been trying to write a bunch of chapters and haven't been super successful so I'm making a new years resolution; I will update on the 15th and 30th of the month, which should give me time to write more chapters in between posting! As of right now I have 34 chapters written (which is technically 35 with the prologue) and I plan on ending the story at 45(With the prologue). I hope you all have had an awesome holiday season!
Songs for this chapter: "Before you Called me Baby" Caitlyn Smith, "Stone" Alessia Cara, "Holding A Heart" Toby Lightman, "1000x" Jarryd James.
Data on Violence Against Native Americans: American Indian and Alaska Native victims are significantly more likely than non-Hispanic White-only victims to have experienced sexual violence by an interracial perpetrator:
■■ Female victims are 3.0 times as likely to have experienced sexual violence by an interracial perpetrator as non-Hispanic White-only female victims (96 percent versus 32 percent).
■■ Male victims are 3.3 times as likely to have experienced sexual violence by an interracial perpetrator as non-Hispanic White-only male victims (89 percent versus 27 percent).
pg 18 of report from: www. ncjrs. gov / pdffiles1 / nij / 249736. pdf
It began to sink in that she was homeless and without possessions when they arrived back at Mathias's home and the only things she had were from a backpack in her vehicle, wrinkled and musty from sitting in the car for so long.
With a dejected sigh she balled up the clothes and tossed them in the laundry machine, bowing her head as her temples throbbed painfully. She had been coughing on and off since they had left her house, and the stench of smoke still clung to her clothes and skin.
Grimacing, she tugged her tshirt over her head, tossing it in with the rest of her clothing before bending over to remove her socks and hissing as her injured foot stung and the knee she had banged upon their exit from the burning house throbbed.
Her socks, jeans and underwear quickly joined the other garments in the machine before she tossed in a Tide pod and twisted the dial, sighing when the water began in a rush. Glancing around the small laundry room, she grabbed a button down of Mathias's from the basket, giving it a cursory sniff before deeming it good enough and sliding it on.
Her injured foot had started to throb and she limped slightly as she made her way to Mathias's bedroom, intent on showering. He looked up at her from where he was talking on the phone, eyes running over her bare legs, lingering on where the hem of the shirt barely covered the tops of her thighs.
Smiling tiredly at him she pointed to the bathroom, taking his nod as an encouragement. Turning away, she reached up and tugged at her hair, pulling it out of the messy bun it had been hastily thrust into in the chaos.
Behind her she heard a choked noise and turned back, one hand still wrestling with the elastic band knotted in her hair. Mathias's eyes were dark and heated, and when they flicked up to hers she smirked faintly, amused that he had been staring at her ass.
Lifting a brow at him and shaking her head slightly, she turned and went into the bathroom, leaving the door cracked while she turned on the shower and finally managed to untangle her hair.
As steam began to fill the air, she unbuttoned the shirt and let it fall away, eager for the sweet embrace of the water. When the near scalding water hit her skin she hissed in pleasure, turning so her hair was quickly soaked through and the steady stream was pounding on to her shoulders.
Bowing her head, she inhaled raggedly as the scent of smoke on her skin rose out of her pores. She had never been in a blaze like that before, had never been nearly consumed by flames…a shiver ran over her as she realized how close she and Mathias had come to death.
A soft sound behind her made her head come up quickly, whirling to find Mathias approaching through the steam. He paused by the open entry and smiled faintly, "Can I join you?" he asked quietly and she knew he would respect her decision if she said no.
But that wasn't what she wanted, what she needed.
Nodding, she turned to face him, watching as he undressed quickly, his gaze on hers. When he stepped into the shower she backed into the wall, allowing him room under the large spray. He tilted his head back and scrubbed a hand over his face, rivulets of grey streaking down as the water washed away remnants of ash.
Cady reached out and grabbed the washcloth, pouring out his body wash and inhaling greedily at the familiar scents of amber, cedar and bergamot that so frequently clung to his skin. Lathering the cloth, she approached and held his gaze as she began washing him.
It was partially an act of necessity, but a larger part was comfort. She needed to put her hands on him and assure herself he was okay, that he was still in one piece. Slowly the grime and ash and sweat washed away, her fingers lacing with his for a moment as she lifted his arm, drawing the cloth over his skin slowly, relishing in sensation.
Mathias watched her through hooded eyes, lulled into a warm burn of leisurely desire, the heat of her touch soaking into his skin and making his blood feel like warm honey. It felt like he had laid out in the sun for hours, until he was half asleep and content, body soft and responsive.
Her hands helped to brush away the remaining suds from his skin before she reached for his shampoo and turned him around gently, her strong, lean fingers scrubbing at his scalp in a way that made him shudder and groan softly.
When the water ran clear from his head he blinked slowly and turned around, taking the washcloth she had used on him and rinsed it once more before dousing it in his body wash and lathering it.
Stepping close, he began with her shoulders, working his way down her arms, enchanted by the freckles dotting her tan skin, his thumb sliding over them smoothly before he glanced back up at her and smiled softly.
She watched him as he cleaned her, his palm splaying out on her belly, fingertips stroking her scar gently before he moved on. She shivered under his gentle touches, heart aching at the sentiment flooding her blood.
Kneeling in front of her, he lifted her feet one at a time and washed them carefully, checking her injury and running a finger over it, eliciting a sharp inhale and a shiver. Cady watched as he turned his face to kiss her ankle, his dark eyes looking up at her as his mouth met her skin.
The washcloth had been abandoned.
His fingers slid up the slick skin of her calf as his mouth followed, eyes still intent on her.
Shivers ran over her skin, her thigh trembling when his hand slid around to grip the outside, his mouth trailing along the inside. Eyes like onyx watched her as his lips skimmed over her hip, dipping over the pale skin of her abdomen before he rose up to kiss her scar.
At this she jerked, the action unexpected.
His eyes held her steady though and he did it again, pressing kisses over it until she softened once more, heat spreading through her limbs with each of his caresses. Cupping his cheek, she smiled faintly when he turned his face to press his lips against her palm.
"That was way too close a call," she murmured, thumb stroking his cheek. He leaned into the touch and nodded sharply, pressing another kiss to the meat of her palm before he pulled away.
"I'm sorry you lost your home, your clothes, everything," he replied kindly, eyes soft with sorrow.
Emotion lodged in her chest and for the first time that day, tears burned in her eyes. Mistaking the reason for her bright eyes, Mathias rose, mimicking her as he slid a hand around her waist, the other cupping her cheek gently.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, leaning in to press a kiss to her hairline.
Cady shook her head slightly, throat working at the swell of emotion within her. "I didn't lose everything," she whispered, hands reaching up to cling to the strong planes of his shoulders. "Not as long as you're ok."
It was the closest they had come since they had first started sleeping together that she had admitted how she felt about him; how much he meant to her. Mathias huffed out a breath against her temple and she could feel his lips curl into a smile.
"I'm not goin anywhere little storm. Promise," he assured her, hand tightening on her waist.
Cady sighed in relief and nodded, pulling away to smile at him tenderly, her fingers still pressing into his shoulder blades gently. She captured his mouth easily, tasting the remnants of the fire in his mouth, the acrid burn of smoke in his kiss so different from the times she had smelled cigarette smoke on his breath.
Her fingers slipped through his hair, tugging until his head tipped back and she could plunder his mouth more easily. Slinging an arm around his shoulders she sighed softly in delight as his large hands cupped her hips and pulled her against him.
She could feel him, how he had fallen to half hardness from his earlier erection, growing again now at her slow grinding of her hips against his. His breathing was unsteady and when she kissed along his jaw he exhaled sharply, fingers digging into her skin.
Her mouth slid over his slick skin, unable to find purchase until she bared her teeth. Mathias shivered in delight at the display of strength, groaning when her mouth began leaving marks on his throat, shoulder and chest.
He'd wear her marks with pride.
Her teeth scraped over one of his nipples and a sharp gasp escaped him, followed closely by a moan as she captured it and sucked, hands splaying on his hips as she began a slow descent. As she knelt she mouthed over his stomach, smiling when his muscles jumped at her nips and touches.
Her fingers trailed over the myriad of scars she hadn't taken the time to notice before. Her eyes lifted to meet his, burning with curiosity. They trailed over one that was nearly two inches long on his side, white and twisted.
"Lash. My father made it of leather and copper wire."
Her nails dug into his hip at this revelation and she kissed it, covering every inch until he was shaking from the affection she lavished on him.
She pointed to another, smaller this time, on his thigh.
"Broken bottle in a bar fight."
She smirked softly and traced over one on his pectoral that looked like a burn of some sort.
"Cigar burn. It dragged," he explained, running his own finger over it to explain the odd shape.
Her thumb stroked over a white spot on his shoulder, one she recognized from her own body.
"Gunshot."
Nodding deliberately, she rose slowly, kissing each of them until she was upright and kissing his lips again. Mathias pulled her firmly against him, a muffled grunt of pleasure rumbling in his chest as her naked body slid against his.
He lifted one of her thighs, wrapping her leg around his hip as he canted into her, groaning at the sensation. She was hot and wet and when she arched her hips and whispered, "I need you Mathias," in a voice that was breathy and desperate, he didn't disobey.
Pressing her into the wall he pushed into her, gasping against her throat as her walls fluttered around him. His fingers on her thigh sunk in, holding her tightly as he braced his other forearm against the wall at her head, his hips moving slow and steady.
Shivers ran over Cady's body as Mathias rolled his hips into hers, the pleasure building in her belly slow and sweet. This was so different than the first time they had slept together. That had been hurried and passionate and mind numbingly amazing.
This was…. she inhaled sharply as Mathias rolled his hips harder, the impact making her hips chase after him, eager for more. His mouth was dancing a path along her throat and jaw, the hand at her hip massaging the flesh of her ass as he thrust.
"Fuck…you're…you're amazing," he panted.
Cady couldn't help but smile at the sweet sentiment, a shiver running over her as his hand at her hip trailed up to fondle her breast. A hiss of pleasure issued from between clenched teeth as he rolled her nipple, stroking it until she was arching into him and gasping, begging for more.
Abandoning it for a moment, he slowed his thrusts and grabbed her hips, tilting them so he could go deeper, grunting as her body shuddered and clasped at him. Cady's nails scrapped over his back, her fingers desperate as she clung to him.
Mathias watched her breasts bounce as he thrust, still maintaining a steady pace. Cady rolled her hips, breathless with need, trying to encourage him to go faster. He leaned in and kissed her, placating her need for the moment, his hips grinding into hers.
Cady whined at the friction on her clit, aching for more even as she ground back into him, gasping his name.
"Please, please, please," she chanted, voice low and rough, eyes hooded with desire and pupils blown so wide he could barely see the stormy iris.
Nodding, he leaned in and kissed her again, "Okay little storm, I got you," he assured her, kissing her once more before he was leaning back to thrust into her harder. Cady cried out, hands slipping from his shoulders to scrape along his chest, raising red marks.
Fire blazed in her veins, lightning flashed in her eyes and she trembled on a knife's edge, waiting for him to take her over. His dark eyes met hers and he gasped out, "Touch yourself baby."
Something in her snapped and she eagerly complied, her fingers slippery against her clit. A sharp cry rose from her lips and she arched into him, gasping out his name as she burned alive. Her orgasm swelled, and as it came crashing down, Mathias's lips found hers, his gasps of her name mixing with her cries.
She was burning, consumed by flame, shuddering as it ate her alive. His kiss baptized her, the fire in it cleansing her, and god, god, she had never felt like this before.
Clinging to him, she whispered his name as he rode out her orgasm and plunged headlong into his own, a choked cry of her name falling from his lips.
"Oh Cady…oh baby," he whispered, shivering against her.
His forehead was pressed into her throat, his mouth soft against her skin, murmuring softly in Cheyenne, something she didn't understand. He slowly released her thigh and slid from within her, but pulled her close, maintaining their intimate embrace as he lifted his face to kiss her.
She could feel his heart thundering against hers and though desperate for air, was more desperate for his kiss.
"What were you saying?" she whispered, numb fingers brushing against his cheek.
His eyes met hers and there was something there that made a different kind of heat bloom in her stomach.
"na-mé'oo'o," he murmured, slower this time so she could hear each syllable. He smiled softly, "My sweetheart, my lover," he explained and there was something cautious about the way he said it that told her he was uncertain if this word, this description of her, of them, would be accepted.
Smiling slowly, she laid a hand on his heart and tried to mimic the way he had said it, "na-mé'oo'o," she murmured, gazing at him steadily.
He kissed her again and she barely noticed that the water had begun to cool.
By the time they exited the shower the water was chilled and her laundry was clean and ready to be dried. Wrapping another, cleaner, button down shirt of Mathias's around her, she slid on a pair of his boxers and padded out to change over her laundry.
"You hungry?" Mathias asked, appearing in the doorway of the laundry room. He was fully dressed she noted, not in his uniform but in dark jeans and a black button down shirt.
Frowning as she tossed the wet clothes into the dryer, she nodded and gestured to his clothes, "Where you goin?"
He glanced down at his clothes before looking back to her, eyes cautious. "I'm running over to the station. Vic has a few questions about the fire and I told her I'd answer them there. Thought I'd grab some food for us while I was out," he told her, trying to sound casual.
Cady pondered that for a moment, chewing on her lip as she mulled over what it was that Vic could want. Mathias watched her think, amused as always that he could see her emotions and thoughts writ so clearly on her face it was like reading a book.
When her eyes met his he smiled faintly and lifted a brow, knowing she had something to ask.
"What questions does she have? You told her how the fire started and who it likely was," she mused, sounding uncertain and wary. "Is this," she hesitated and glanced away for a second, swallowing hard, "about us?" she finished, looking back up and meeting his gaze.
Mathias had decided a long time ago—around the time she hadn't died from her gunshot and withdrawal symptoms—that he would tell her the truth when she asked it of him. So, he nodded and ran a hand across his chin, sighing softly.
"Yea, she wants to know why I was there in the middle of the night. We skipped over those details the first time around, but now, they need it for the larger Infinitarios investigation," he told her.
Cady tossed the last of the clothing into the dryer and twisted the knob, slamming the door shut with a huff, her shoulders tense. He watched her as she stared at the machine for a moment and then swung back around to him, arms crossing over her chest in a defensive move so plain it was like skywriting.
"And, what are you going to tell her?" Cady asked, gaze steady on his, the lines of her throat taut with barely repressed anxiety.
Mathias had been wondering the same thing when he had been talking to her earlier. He and Cady hadn't defined whatever it was that was happening between them, and he didn't really think what it was fell into a neat little category anyway.
He didn't want to force a title on what they had if it didn't feel right, or if it could hurt either of them. Sighing softly, his lips curled up faintly, deep creases around his eyes forming as he gazed at her fondly.
Taking a large step forward, he reached out and hooked one of his fingers around hers, tugging gently till she allowed him to pull her arm from across her chest so he could hold her hand in his. Her gaze was steady, wide eyed and nervous and he smiled a little wider.
"I'm going to tell her that I was at my partner's house discussing a missing person from my past."
Her face fell with his first words and she tried to pull her hand away, brow furrowing when his fingers tightened around hers, eyes lighting with amusement.
"I'm also going to tell her that I was with my friend. My lover."
Cady stared at him wide eyed for a moment before a hesitant smile crept onto her face, cheeks flushing with pleasure.
"Really?" she murmured hesitantly.
"If you're ok with that," he assured her, thumb stroking across her knuckles slowly.
Her lips curled into a full grin and before he knew it, she was kissing him, one of her hands still in his, the other grasping at the collar of his shirt to hold him to her tightly. When she pulled away her forehead rested on his gently and her lips brushed against his as she smiled.
"Yea na-mé'oo'o, I'm ok with that," she murmured, eyes crinkling with warmth.
He stared into her seafoam eyes and lost himself willingly in their depths, his heart answering the siren call of her. Emotions tumbled through him and he had to bite back a string of confessions, each more revealing than the last and none of them something he was ready to let out.
Instead he tangled his fingers in her hair and pulled her closer, closing his eyes as he listened to her steady breaths. He could hear the laundry thumping away in the other room, the clean scent lingering on her skin as he inhaled.
Eventually he pulled back, letting his fingertips trail over her cheek as her eyes opened, her gaze steady on him as they slid down her throat and over the rough material of his shirt. "If you want to take my truck and go shopping so you have stuff to wear, the keys are on the counter," he told her softly, nodding towards the kitchen.
Her brow furrowed gently, "Are you sure? Don't you need it for work?" she asked hesitantly.
"Naw, Caleb is picking me up in the cruiser. I'll use it to get around if you're gonna be gone awhile," he assured her.
She still hesitated, lips turning down slightly, worry etching lines between her eyes. Mathias sighed softly, hiding a smile as he reached up to brush a finger over them, "You're thinking hard. What's wrong?"
Cady shrugged and bit her lip, "I just, I feel like I'm taking advantage of you," she admitted softly, worry coloring her voice. Her eyes flickered from his face to glance away and he frowned as she continued, "You're kind to let me stay, but I should find a hotel or something. I don't want to make your life difficult," she admitted.
At this Mathias snorted, drawing her startled gaze up to him. He chuckled and shook his head, "Cady, you've been making my life difficult since you walked into my office six years ago and announced you were going to help the people on the res. You haven't stopped making my life difficult or helping people, and I'm not looking for you to quit now."
He took her hand and gave her a solemn look, "You're a pain in the ass sometimes, but there's no way in hell I'm letting you stay in a hotel where I don't know if you're safe. If those Infinitarios fucks want to try something again, they'll have to come onto my territory," he rumbled, eyes flashing with something like bloodlust and it sent a shiver over her skin.
Mathias squeezed her hand and gave her a quick smile, "Take the truck, get what you need, go see your dad maybe," he suggested. "Let him know I haven't stolen your virtue," he teased as he leaned in for a lingering kiss.
She snickered into the kiss and when they parted her eyes flashed with amusement, "Stole my virtue, huh?" she murmured wryly, "Is that what we were doing in the shower?" she mused, lifting a brow.
Mathias grinned and shook his head, "Don't ask him that," he suggested, pressing another lingering kiss to her lips before he pulled away, the sound of tires on gravel alerting him to Caleb's arrival.
"Gotta go, kid's waiting," he murmured, his smile slow and sweet as he grabbed his badge and gun before waving two fingers in a quick goodbye.
Cady watched him from the window; his long black hair floated around him as he jogged to the cruiser, a grin on his face at something Caleb had said. The younger man's eyes flickered over the house before resting on her and a friendly smile broke out on his face.
As he waved to her and she lifted a hand in return, it occurred to her how much he looked like Mathias.
Some distant part of her wondered if that's what any kids Mathias might have would look like, and her stomach clenched uneasily at the line of thought that led down. She hastily closed it off and turned away from the window as the cruiser pulled away in a puff of red dirt.
She couldn't ponder some hazy, distant possible future when it seemed like every monster from the past was clawing its way out of the shadows to howl and haunt them.
Jaw firm, she snatched the keys off the kitchen counter; she had things to do.
