Dear Readers,

The idea for this is a proud product of the mind of Rosalind2013, and I thank her very much for it.

The T rating for this fic is enforced strongly in this chapter.

Enjoy, and keep the ideas coming. I can't do 100 by myself. It's a team effort.

Your author,

Psyche.

One-Liners

"You've got to be kidding me." Elliot said to Raven, borrowing her signature deadpan.

Raven glared at Elliot. "Do I look like I am joking?" she asked.

"…No."

"Then start."

They were in Raven's room, as usual. Since their last attempt at a lesson had ended with Raven having a room full of pillow stuffing, she had taken the precaution of hiding anything in her room that could serve as a distraction in a pocket dimension. The only thing left was a table and two chairs. They sat across from each other, both in their hero and villain uniforms, to help with the mood.

Elliot rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know Raven. This just seems kind of…lame."

"I'm trying to prevent anything lame from happening." She sighed in exasperation. "Do I have to go over this again?"

Elliot nodded. "Yes please."

"When you see someone committing a crime, what's the first thing you do?" she asked.

"Make a beeline straight for the bad guy and start-"

"Wrong." Raven interrupted. "You hit them with a witty one-liner."

Elliot was still skeptical. "I don't see how that will help."

"Most of these villains are mentally…shaky." Raven exclaimed. "A well thought out, snarky comment before a fight is enough to frazzle them enough for you to win."

"Really?" Elliot said with a hint of sarcasm.

"I know it seems unlikely, coming from me of all people, but it's true." Raven said.

"So, this works on all villains?"

"Of course not." Raven said with a wave of her hands. "If you try this out on people like Slade, you'll just make things worse for yourself. Same goes for Red X. He'll annoy you to death."

Elliot sighed. "Fine. I did ask you to teach me hero secrets. Go ahead."

"Thank you." Raven said. She sat up straighter in her chair. "Now, all we have to do is give you practice."

Elliot gave a silent scoff. "I don't think it's that hard to come up with witty one-liners."

"Beast Boy has a more than a year of hero experience under his belt but he still gets tongue-tied in the heat of the battle."

"The fact that he's Beast Boy also plays a big part."

Raven gave a small smile. "It does." She cleared her throat. "Now, I'm Dr. Light, and I'm trying to rob a light bulb store or something, because I need them to light up some kind of giant machine."

"Uh, okay." He thought for a while, then snapped his fingers. "What's the bright idea, stealing all these light bulbs?"

Raven frowned.

"Not good huh? Let me try again." Elliot frowned in concentration. "The only place you need a light bulb is in that dark empty brain of yours."

Raven's frown deepened.

Elliot wiggled nervously in his seat, intimidated by Raven's unwavering gaze. He wracked his brain.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you're afraid of the dark."

Raven's expression changed suddenly.

'What's the matter, afraid of the dark?'

She blanched and her lips pressed together tightly. Elliot looked at her with concern.

"That's enough for today." She said softly.

She snapped her fingers and all her furniture appeared suddenly. Elliot didn't pay attention to that though.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine." Raven said. "Maybe you could just be the strong, silent type."

"Okay." He said. He knew better than to try and force answers out of her. So he changed the subject. "Could I try something else?"

Raven arched and eyebrow, interested. "Like what?"

Elliot took a deep breath and steeled his nerves.

"Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!"

"What-"

"If I were a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer."

Raven did turn red at that. Elliot smiled. He had once again managed to get her out of her funk.

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes."

Raven's flustered expression melted into one of determination. She was not about to let him embarrass her. Two could play at this game.

"Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids."

Elliot reeled back, blushing a deep red and obviously flustered. It was a low blow, Raven had to admit, but no one tries to embarrass her and gets off without blushing a bit too. Elliot regained his composure quickly enough and leaned forward, elbows on the table.

"I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?" he said looking her up and down slowly for emphasis. Raven blushed, but recovered quickly.

"I was feeling a little off today, but you turned me on." She said putting her elbows on the table and lowering her eyelids seductively.

Elliot blushed and she could see him swallowing. Raven smirked.

"Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you've got fine written all over you."

"Are you a campfire, 'cause you're hot and I want s'more."

"You wanna know what's beautiful? The twenty-first letter of the alphabet."

"You must work at Dick's, you're obviously sporting the goods." Raven mentally kicked herself for saying something so lewd. Well, it was too late to take it back now. Besides, Elliot's deep red blush made it worthwhile.

"Your body is 65% water, and I'm thirsty."

Raven flushed. She unintentionally upped the game. No matter, he'll never win. She was about to kick it into overdrive.

Raven lowered her eyelids and leaned slowly across the table until her mouth was in line with Elliot's ear. He swallowed harshly and gripped the table tightly. He started breathing faster.

Raven couldn't believe she was about to say this.

"You look like a hard worker." She said in the most suggestive voice she could manage, breathing against his ear. "I have an opening you can fill."

Elliot jerked back violently, falling off his chair and harshly onto the floor. He stood up quickly and faced Raven, his face as red as the eyes of his mask. They stared at each other for a while. Elliot had the most flustered look on his face Raven had ever seen, Raven wore a smirk of triumph.

Then she noticed something that turned her smirk into a full-fledged grin.

"Is your nose bleeding?"

Elliot gasped and clutched his face. With an absolutely mortified expression on his face, he teleported away.

Raven burst out laughing.