-1Chapter 29

I'm late. I overslept this morning. I'm not even sure I should be here. Not sure I can sit through this. The ceremony should be starting any moment if it isn't already underway. I quietly slip into the church, taking a seat in the back. It's ten past but nothing seems to be happening. Sloan is nowhere to be found and Shepard paces back and forth. The door opens, everyone turning to watch as Meredith hurries down the isle. I see her whisper in Shepard's ear, a scowl appearing on his face. They both walk back up the isle, smiling at the people as they go. Something's not right.

I get up slowly and follow them out into the hall. Shepard's shoulders seem tense as he rushes away.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

Shepard keeps walking but Meredith stops and slowly turns toward me. Her worried eyes make my stomach churn.

"He's not here yet and she's freaking out." She twists her fingers in a nervous motion.

"Where is she?" I need to see her. I need to help in some way.

For a moment I'm not sure if she's going to tell me. She sighs, knowing that I will just follow her anyway.

"This way."

I follow her down the hall and into a room to the left. It's crowded, so crowded I can't see her in the mass of done up hair and satin dresses. Her bridesmaids are standing around and I hear the even toned voice of Derek Shepard trying to calm her down as she sobs. I linger towards the back of the room.

"Izzie, it's okay. He'll be here." The calming of his voice does no good as she sobs harder.

"Where is he Derek? He promised me he would be here."

"I…I don't know Izzie." Shepard looks toward Meredith, probably wanting to kill Sloan almost as much as I do.

"Izzie, I'm sure it's nothing…" Meredith tries to help with her reassuring words, but it's all in vain.

"He's not coming." Her gut wrenching cries fill the tiny room and I can't take it. I step in between Cristina and Lexie getting my first clear view of her, sitting on a chair by the window in her wedding dress. Her eyes are swollen and the surrounding area is blotchy where she has been wiping furiously at her salty tears. Tendrils of soft hair bounce around her face as she convulses. I don't know how I can help but I need to try, I hate it when she cries.

"Iz…." I say as Shepard moves from his kneeled position on the floor in front of her, his hand slips off of hers as mine replaces it. "Iz, look at me. He will be here, because he'd be crazy to throw this away. He'd spend the rest of his life regretting that one moment when he let you go." I'm not really sure if I'm talking about him or me.

Her body relaxes and her sobs subside, replaced by small sniffles. Her warm brown eyes connect with mine. She inhales deeply and her eyes flutter closed as I wipe the tear rolling down her cheek.

"Izzie, we're going to go check on things." Meredith says warmly.

"We are?" Cristina annoyed with having to miss out on anything that might happen between us, huffs as she turns on her heel exiting the room reluctantly.

"We are!" Meredith says in a harsher tone as she practically pushes Christina into the hallway.

When they are gone I stand and help Izzie to her feet.

"Come here." I lead her by the hand to the full length mirror that hung on the wall behind us. I move her in front of her reflection, standing behind her with my chin resting on her shoulder. Fresh tears swell in her eyes when she gets a look at her appearance.

"Oh god look at my face, I look awful." She raises her fingers to touch her cheek.

"You're beautiful." I reach out, catching her hand as it rises. I pull it slowly back down to rest at her side. I held on tightly and stoked the inside of her wrist with my thumb.

"Alex…"

"Iz, I'm sorry. " I take a deep breath. "I'm sorry I was so incredibly stupid. I should've told you…."

"Told me what?"

"How I feel."

I hear her breath hitch as she spins in my arms until we are eye to eye, mere inches between us.

"How do you feel?" She is just as anxious to hear it as I am to say it.

I'm ready to tell her why; I'm ready to tell her everything. There is a knock at the door and Meredith pokes her head in.

"Izzie. Mark is here. Come on we have to go. "Izzie doesn't move at first. "Izzie!" Meredith hisses.

Before I can utter a word she is gone.