RAIN
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE: Conclusion
As you probably figured out, dear reader, I have moved on from this story and am very involved with others. But I hate leaving everyone hanging. I have read too many fanfictions, invested hours in them, stayed up until the wee hours to read them, only to get to the last page and the story just...stops. The author has wandered away without another word from 2005 or something. It's like reading a great book and then realizing the last portion has been ripped away and is lost. What happened? How did it end? So I hope to clear up those questions with this unusual form of a chapter. This story has already gone on way longer than I planned and is way more angsty, and needs to be wrapped up neatly with a ribbon. Instead of the chapters and chapters it would take to complete this, with all the dialogue and character development, and all the settings and plot twists, I am just going to put down my internal outline and put RAIN to bed. Enjoy. Review if you like. Thanks for your patience!
Here goes.
Grissom and Sara return to Las Vegas. Gris goes back to work without telling anyone that Sara is home. He just hints to Catherine and Brass that she is better. Sara goes for counseling with Dr. Kane. He has her thick medical file and knows better than to ask any more dumb questions. He lets her talk.
After a session or two, Dr Kane prescribes medication carefully tailored to Sidle's condition and needs. First, a strong painkiller. "Depression hurts." It's true. Plus Sara has been so banged up her whole life that she doesn't realize the kind of chronic pain she lives with daily, and how it affects her mood. Sara just toughs everything out. So she gets on a daily dose of Vicodin, and her anxiety and stress go down, her health improves, she is more present and focused. Second, Lamictal. Kane is the first to recognize that Sidle not only suffers from severe chronic episodes of depression, she is also manic. Cyclothemic disorder, it's called. When she is manic, she talks rapidly (overtalks,) can't sleep, can't stay still, takes frightening risks, drives too fast, is moody and irritable and easily angered or sad... impulsive...a workaholic (sound familiar?) So the Lamictal regulates and calms those mood swings. Third, a sleep aid that she only uses as needed. Lack of sleep or restless or disturbed sleep contributes to mental illness and anguish and physical pain. Trust me. I know. So these medications make a huge difference in a short time.
Also within a short time, Kane asks Grissom to sit in on her sessions. A kind of couples therapy, to help with communication and to confront and banish the hidden resentments and baggage. Kane sternly confronts Grissom, to his surprise, and forces him to acknowledge how his cold disregard for Sara all those years contributed to her persistent feelings of worthlessness and self-destructiveness.
They also talk about sex. She has been unresponsive to Grissom's advances since SF and the phone sex, and together they figure out why. She feels cheap and used, she knows that Gris uses sex to "fix" whatever is wrong, but it doesn't work. Need more intimacy and reassurance. Sex comes naturally after the communication and health are improved. They still fight, they still have problems, ups and downs, but the love is deep and strong.
He also tells Gil he is an enabler with Sara's drinking problem. When she had her worst episodes–like the nightmare–it was after a drinking session. Alcohol lowers her inhibitions, makes her respond like her alcoholic parents, and brings back awful memories and fears of being like them.
Sara is as afraid, or more afraid, than Grissom is that he will leave her. So she left him first, to protect herself, at least subconsciously. Gris and Sara reveal how much this fear of abandonment affects their relationship.
Kane and Sidle work on the specific traumas that brought her down. Fear of being followed, stalked. Fear of enclosed spaces or being pinned. Fear of being underwater/drowning. And others. Instead of telling her to just forget them, ignore these fears, he tells her to welcome and acknowledge them for the legitimate feelings they are. That makes them lose their power. They talk for a long time about her ghosts and her mother and father. She is allowed to bury them from where she is, as geography doesn't matter when the ghosts or demons are inside her.
Sara gets better. Grissom invites the gang over for a cookout, with Sara as the surprise guest. She is greeted with joy and love and remembers how good it was to be around these friends and colleagues.
Within a few more weeks, Sara goes back to work. The team is reunited and stronger for being tested. They are all on graveyard as Ecklie has been put in his place.
Grissom finds a healthy bee colony and takes it to study. Sara comes to see it, in her cute little white bee suit. He shyly asks her to marry him. Sara lights up with delight, Yes! Let's do it!, and her face is just...radiant. Beautiful. Full of joy. That radiance banishes even the thought of rain. The sun in her smile defeats the storms and showers.
And this time they take off their helmets and have a proper kiss!
THE END
