1 WEEK LATER:

"Oh god, what could she possibly have in store for us this time?" a jounin whined as he and several others made their way into Tsunade's office.

"I don't know," the jounin's friend answered, "but I'm almost scared. Me! Scared? I'm a grown man! What's wrong with me?"

"Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I believe the last time we were here, the Hokage said something about not being able to wear any clothes at all once week three hits. Perhaps you are afraid that everyone will see your small penis," Sai said plainly, pausing a moment before wandering off.

"…"

"What the hell is with that guy?"

Chapter 29: Prelude to End – "Consequences"

"What is the news, Hokage-sama?" Gai said with great enthusiasm as the last of the men arrived for yet another one of Tsunade's ninja meetings.

"Well…hey quit that." Tsunade began, but then stifled a giggle, kicking at her desk.

"Um…?" Gai cocked his head and stared at the Hokage, as did a few others.

"Hehehe…seriously, not now!" Tsunade breathed in a harsh whisper in the direction of her desk.

Shizune wandered over and peered at Tsunade's cheeks and their rising level of redness.

The Hokage kicked at her desk again and spoke in a low whisper, "If you don't stop it right now I will—"

"Uh, Hokage-sama?"

"…"

Tsunade shifted around, smiled and looked up at the curious on-looks of Shizune, Gai, and several others.

Shizune looked at the desk and then looked at Tsunade.

She twitched, "Uh… Tsunade-sama…"

"Yes?"

"Is…is there someone under your desk?" Her assistant asked incredulously.

"N-no…" The Hokage said, grinning oddly, "What ever gave you that idea?"

Shizune sighed, thinking, "I don't even want to know."

Gai scratched his head, "What's going on?"

Tsunade blinked.

"Oh yes! The meeting!" She exclaimed.

"This meeting's going to be a little bit different," the Hokage said.

"For once I have good things to report!"

Several relieved sighs were heard across the room.

"Everyone, follow me outside!"

"Huh?"

"Come, on, this way…"

"What's going on?" Naruto asked as he and the others filed out of the room, following their large busted Hokage.

"Don't know." Shikamaru answered.

"I thought you knew everything." Chouji commented.

"Hn." Shikamaru shrugged.

"Have you guys seen Sasuke around?" Naruto asked.

Shikamaru stared at Naruto oddly, "Not this, again?"

The Hokage stopped in front of a large building.

"Hey," Kiba yelled, "This is the vet hospital where Hana works!"

Right on cue, Hana Inuzuka appeared from the building.

"Come on inside!" Hana waved.

Soon, they all found themselves staring at a large animal in a stable.

"A horse?" Shikamaru commented.

"Wow, a horse! There aren't usually many in this village!" Naruto exclaimed.

"She's on loan from a neighboring town." Hana explained.

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi asked, "Do you mind if I ask what is going on?"

"Well, you see, you male nin have done a good job this past week—a very good job, perhaps too good in fact. We are at 90 percent and finally within our projected goal."

"Whoa, you mean 90 percent of all the women in the village are pregnant?" The mass of men said with surprise.

"Why, yes!" Tsuande grinned.

"So…does this mean…?"

"Yes, I won't be putting any odd laws into effect this time. You get to keep your pants on."

"Oh thank GOD!" came several elated cries.

Sai appeared oddly disappointed.

As Hana walked over to brush the horse, Neji saw an opportunity to speak to her.

"Um," he began, "I wanted to apologize for my behavior the last time I saw you. I was not myself…I…"

Hana simply smiled, taking Neji by the arm, "You get to be my first volunteer!"

"Volunteer for what?" Neji pondered.

"But," Tsunade began.

Uh oh…

"Bringing my plan to fruition has had a troublesome side-effect…" Tsunade continued.

I have a bad feeling about this…

"All of our current medical staff happen to be women. All of those women are currently pregnant. Do you see a problem here?" She asked the crowd.

They all shook their heads uneasily.

"If they are all pregnant, in a little over 8 and 1 half months, who's going to deliver all the babies?" The Hokage exclaimed.

The men mumbled and shrugged.

"YOU ARE!" Tsunade said matter-of-factly, pointing at the shinobi.

Twitch. Twitch.

"WHAT?" the room roared with the collective yell of every single male there.

Before the men had a chance to even get over their shock, Tsunade spoke again.

"And today, we are going to have our first lesson!" The Hokage pointed.

The men's eyes looked in the direction she pointed.

It was the horse.

"Oh, look!" Tsunade smiled, clapping her hands together, "Hana already has a volunteer!"

Neji twitched, "Huh?"

"What's the horse for?" Naruto asked, scrunching up his face.

"Ah, Naruto, that is not any old regular horse, that is a very, very pregnant 'mommy' horse that is about ready to burst at any minute."

Several guys in the back were becoming visibly uncomfortable.

Neji turned as Hana patted him on the shoulder, handing him something.

"I am almost afraid to ask." Neji commented.

"No need," Hana grinned, spinning the horse around to where its butt was facing Neji and everyone.

"You want me to WHAT?" Neji paled.

"Lesson 1: check and see how the horse is doing by going on and sticking your arm up in there." Hana replied, "Be sure to put the glove on first."

"…"

Suddenly, a random shout came from out of nowhere that sounded suspiciously like Tenten, "Go on Neji! You can do it! You're good at this!"

Neji's face turned beat red.

As Hana pushed Neji closer to the horse, many of the guys were making gagging noise and falling over at the prospect, but Naruto began to laugh.

"Haha! Neji has to stick his hand up a horse's butt."

"You know," Kiba corrected, "That's not technically the butt."

Naruto raised an eyebrow.

As Neji was getting closer to finding his hand in a most unpleasant place he suddenly realized something and stepped back.

"I can just use my Byakugan to see inside the horse. Won't I be more helpful that way?" Neji said sternly.

Hana pondered it over.

"…"

"Ok, sure, Neji, step to the side and use the Byakugan… NEXT!" Hana called out.

Naruto's eyes got big when he was suddenly pulled from the crowd by the arm of Kiba's sister.

"Sucks to be you." Kiba commented as Naruto was hauled over to the horse's rear.

This time, 10,000 years of therapy was needed all around—and even more would be needed before it's all over.

In the days that followed, the men were all trained in the wondrous arts of birthing—and after a rigorous month long course, they all reluctantly became certified midwives!

As a reward, the Hokage reinstated the allowance of modest clothing to be worn by everyone once again.

Jiraiya was suspiciously exempt from this course which took the place of what Tsunade had originally planned for the final month of her three month plan to shore up the number of ninjas in the village. This led some to speculate that he was in fact shacking-up with said Hokage, which led to much jealousy all around. What man wouldn't WANT to be in Jiraiya's ninja sandals now?

9 MONTHS LATER

The past 2 and a half weeks were the most hectic that Konoha had ever seen. 90 percent of the women had gone into labor within that same short time period and utter chaos erupted.

There was not enough space in the hospital, so the women overflowed into the streets. Eventually, the ninja academy was turned into a make-shift maternity ward, along with ANBU headquarters—since there were so many women in the ANBU pregnant and hey, there were already there anyway.

At the moment though, the male members of Teams 7, 8, 10, and Team Gai were gathered in the actual hospital. Since the insanity had begun, they had not had the chance to properly check up on their female teammates and peers—what with the rushing about from one make-shift hospital to another. Only now could they all get together at one time as things began to die down…

To Be Concluded…

GO TO ENDING:

The next 3 chapters are all alternate endings of the same events. They are in no particular order as to which ending is more correct or valid. They are all valid possibilities for what "really happened". Read them all, pick a favorite if you want and that is what really happened. There is a single Epilogue that follows the 3 alternate endings. It also contains my final author's notes and other interesting information.