Disclaimer: No material having to do with anything I am about to write about is owned by me.


First of all, I'd like to dedicate this chapter to the Esopus Hall CDA here at SUNY New Paltz, Matt M., in celebration of his birthday. Happy Birthday, dude. You deserve it!


Second, I'd like to say, Thank You, to all my readers. I really appreciate all the hits I've been getting this past week. I hope you all liked my idea to have Naruto investigate Aragog's lair. I thought it would be hilarious to have all those spiders chase them around the forest. At least, this way, the shinobi would be delayed a bit until Negi and his girls got back from their excursion to the Wizard Shopping Center.


Shopping Spree At Diagon Alley

Negi woke up at the crack of dawn, just like everyday, but today was different. He had a very full day ahead of him. He would not have much time for training today. From 9 to 11:30 AM, he was taking several of his girls, as well as InuYasha's group to one of the premier wizard shopping centers in England, Diagon Alley. It was the place to go if you were looking for school supplies. Because the place was so busy with activity, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley had volunteered to guide everybody around the always–crowded shopping mall.

Negi put on his best suit, washed up quickly, walked out of the castle entrance, and stretched to the sky. He hadn't thought he could've gotten such a good night's sleep, given the state of things. It was something about Hogwarts that makes you feel safe, as though all your worries were insignificant.

As he strode towards the huge building looming half–way across the grounds, Harry and Ron came out the front entrance to meet him. Konoka, Setsuna, Nodoka, Kagome, InuYasha, Shippo, Sango, Miroku, Ayaka and Kotaro were already waiting for him. The girls were very eager to go shopping, just like all other girls their age. "Well, everyone, ready to go?" he asked brightly.

He was answered with one big "YEAH!" Harry and Ron jumped. They were still half-asleep and had gotten quite the wake–up call. It mostly came from the girls and Shippo, but Miroku seemed unusually excited. Maybe he was planning to sneak off once they were in the crowd and go off flirting. As always, Sango suspected this, and was determined to keep her eye on the "good monk."

"Then let's go," Negi said with a smile, and led them back inside the building and into the lobby where a grand fireplace awaited them, the fire roaring. "Mr. Potter, if you would," he turned to Harry calmly. Harry took out a small bag from within the folds of his robes and handed it to Negi. Negi turned to the crowd and cleared his throat. "All right, listen up everyone. We'll be traveling by Floo Powder, so you need to be careful. The slightest mistake and you could end up miles away." He took a pinch of powder and threw it into the flames, which to the surprise of the crowd, save for Harry and Ron, turned a brilliant green. "Two by two, you will step into the flame and speak your destination." Several people gasped, and InuYasha looked at him suspiciously, as though he'd gone nuts, but Negi dismissed their shock and continued. "Don't worry. The emerald flames won't as much as hurt you at all. If nothing else, they might tickle just a little. Anyway, once you speak your destination, you will be sent there magically." He was met with a few "ooh's" and even some "ahh's." "Mr. Weasley, would you demonstrate?"

Ron nodded and stepped into the green fire, took a deep breath and said clearly, "Diagon Alley!" and disappeared. The crowd was awestruck.

"As you can see, it's quite easy if you know what you're doing," Negi said matter–of–factly in true–teacher–fashion.

"It's easy, he says," Harry said under his breath. The first time he'd used Floo Powder, he'd mispronounced his destination and ended up lost in Knockturn Alley, the polar opposite of Diagon Alley, steeped in shady people and dark magic shops.

"But I warn you, ladies and gentlemen. You must speak very, very, very clearly when you give your destination. But don't worry, it's not like you'll end up in Hell if you mess up, so no pressure. Ha ha ha! Is he kidding – is he just messing with us?" he laughed at his own joke. Everyone glared at him. "Ah … ha," he tittered nervously. "So, who'd like to go first?"

Everybody looked nervous. Suddenly, Shippo jumped forward. "Ah, a volunteer," Negi said at last.

Shippo panicked. "Who, me? But InuYasha kicked me!"

"Did not!" InuYasha snapped at him, pulling his foot back.

"Sit boy," commanded Kagome softly and calmly. WHAM! InuYasha's face slammed into the cold, hard slate tiles. Ayaka couldn't stop herself from laughing and neither could Konoka.

"That never gets old!" Konoka giggled.

"What?" Ayaka exclaimed. "You mean you've seen this before and didn't tell me, Konoka?"

"It would've spoiled the surprise," she answered, giving her the peace sign.

"Well, in any case," Negi interrupted, pulling InuYasha to his feet in a single jerk. "I guess we've got our first two volunteers. InuYasha, Shippo, go on ahead."

InuYasha picked up Shippo by his bushy tail and cautiously stepped into the fire. He'd been lit on fire before, but this, he didn't even feel. Even the burning timber didn't even tickle his bare feet. "Uh, Diagon Alley?" Shippo said cautiously, and immediately they started to spin. A moment later, they were gone.

When the green flames settled again, Negi clapped his hands together and said, "Wonderful! Well then, ladies, see you on the other side. Nodoka, let's go." He and Nodoka stepped into the flames, Negi shouted out, "Diagon Alley!" and they were gone.

When the flames had settled once again, Konoka and Setsuna joined hands and slowly walked up to the fire. They looked into each other's eyes briefly before taking that last step. "Stay with me, okay?" Setsuna said in an unwavering voice.

"Always," replied Konoka happily. They did what Negi had done and vanished into the fire.

As soon as they disappeared, Miroku turned to Sango and whispered in her ear, "They gotta be lesbians," only to get elbowed sharply in the ribs. He crumbled to the floor.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Miroku," Sango smiled as she grabbed Kotaro by the hand and pulled the dog–eared boy into the fire.

"Then what did you do that for, Sango?" Miroku tried to say as they disappeared, still on the floor, holding his ribs.

Two by two, everyone walked through the fire and was transported, until only Harry and Miroku remained.

"Well, best not get left behind," Harry said to the young monk, who sighed as they both entered the fire and Harry called out their destination.

When he stopped spinning in the fireplace of the Leaky Cauldron, the wizard pub on the outskirts of Diagon Alley, Harry opened his eyes and saw everyone piled on top of one another in a big clump with Ron on the bottom. Apparently when InuYasha and Shippo came out, they had flown out of the fireplace and bowled him over, and from the looks of things, so had everyone else. "Um, is everyone all right?" he asked worriedly.

"Define 'all right,' Harry," Ron moped, drumming his fingers on the floor as people around the pub stared and laughed. "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Aw, shut up!" InuYasha yelled. "And get your foot out of my pants! That heel of yours isn't exactly something I'd rather have touching me there!"

"Look who's talking," Sango groaned. "Someone's hand is up my kimono. Miroku!"

"No, it's not me this time Sango!" cried Miroku, whose fondling–hand was stuck up Negi's pant leg, which wasn't his favorite place for his hand to be. "Although I wouldn't mind if it was me, just this once," he whispered under his breath.

"Oops, sorry. I think that's me," said Negi innocently. If only he could do something to prevent that from always happening to him.

"Oh my! P-professor, I – I – I – I – I – I … I think I'm sitting on your you–know–where!" came Nodoka's voice, craning her neck to look at him. "OH NO! I think it's getting you–know–what–er!"

Miroku had to chuckle at this. For once, it wasn't him.

"Hey! Behave yourself, 'Professor'!" Kagome and Sango said to him in unison.

"I'm sorry!" Negi squealed, his glasses askew. "I'm not doing it on purpose!"

There were still more awkward situations. Shippo was face–to–face with Kagome's panties, Kotaro's face was pressed into Ayaka's cleavage, and Konoka's hand was stuck up Setsuna's top and had become tangled in her bra. Although neither of them seemed to mind as much as everyone else, it looked to Harry like Setsuna was dangerously close to an orgasm. Apparently she liked it more than even she realized.

Harry couldn't help but laugh. You've gotta love those first times! Something funny always happens! he thought.

When everyone had finally gotten untangled and settled down, with some very awkward moments mixed in, Harry and Ron noticed they had unexpected company.

"Ronald Weasley," laughed a plump, middle-aged woman with curly, shoulder–length red hair. "How many times have your father and I told you to move out of the way when using Floo Powder? Not everyone is good with the re–entry."

"Mum? Dad?" Ron exclaimed. "What are you doing here? How did you know we were coming?"

"We had that special clock modified," said Ron's father, Arthur Weasley as he walked over to greet his son and Harry. "We had a few other positions put in, including 'Diagon Alley,' 'Ministry,' and a handful of others, and we also had an extra hand added for each member of the family. And it's a good thing too, because ever since a week ago, the hands have been changing quite often, but one hand for each of us has been on 'Mortal Peril' for over two weeks now. What's been going on?"

"I believe I can explain that, sir," Negi said, walking up to Arthur and offering his hand. "Professor Negi Springfield. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Good Lord," Arthur gasped. "The pleasures all mine," he spluttered, running forward to shake Negi's hand. "I'm Arthur Weasley and this is my wife, Molly, and you can color me shocked. My dear boy, I've heard you're quite the celebrity. I received a letter from Ron the other day about a wizard's duel between yourself and Dumbledore's Army, and a Quidditch match against Harry. When I heard about your stunning performances, I pictured a more … imposing presence."

"Oh, trust me, Dad," Ron interrupted. "There's much, much more to this one than meets the eye. Trust me, he beat all of us with a simple wave of his hand."

"Actually, it was more of a telekinetic push, but it did the job all the same," was Negi's reply.

"Well, excuse me, young man," Molly said suddenly. "But it seems absurd that a mere boy like yourself could ever be a school teacher. Aren't you still in school yourself?"

"Not at all. Actually, I went to an academy in Wales that starts at a much younger age than Hogwarts does. You see, we mages believe that magical talent is at its most potent point in development right after one's toddler years, so Hogwarts could even be considered as a prep school for wizards whose magic potential didn't show up at such a time. As for me, I started at age four, finished a seven-year course in five, and graduated at the top of my class. In addition, I've achieved a 'muggle's' Bachelor's Degree in teaching, so you could say that I'm more than qualified.

"What's more," Negi went on. "I was recruited as the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts over Mr. Potter here, and I'm sure Mr. Weasley here told you about my abilities, magical and otherwise," he said, gesturing in Ron's direction. "Anyway, I would be more than happy to brief you on the current situation over a cup of tea once I've sent my students on their way. I just need to take them to the bank and take some gold out of my account for them to buy supplies for Hogwarts this year."

"I can take care o' tha'," came a familiar voice.

"Hagrid!" Harry exclaimed, turning to find him and Hermione standing by the front door. "What are you doing here?"

"Followin' you o' course," Hagrid laughed. "Runnin' off ter Diagon Alley without telling us. I thought we were friends, Harry."

"Really, you two," Hermione said sternly. "You couldn't tell me you were going? Ron, what did I marry you for?"

Ron's ears went red. "Sorry. I just got caught up and forgot."

"It's a surprise you even remembered our anniversary this year," she glared coldly at him.

Kotaro held back his laughter. "They're even more dysfunctional than you and Asuna," he whispered in Negi's ear.

Negi didn't laugh. "Hark, is that Chizuru's voice I just heard, calling for you? Something about a 'negi suppository'?" he whispered back.2

"Ch – Chi – Chizuru?" Kotaro gasped, his dog–ears perking up at the sound of the name. "Where? Where? Where?" Chizuru Naba, another of Negi's students, and notably, the girl with the biggest breasts in the class, was the one who looked after Kotaro for a time after he had first appeared on the Mahora campus, but she always had a knack for appearing out of nowhere and scaring the socks off the young hybrid. "Don't scare me like that!" he said, punching Negi's ribs.

"Harry, Ron, Hermione n' I'll take good care o' your girls, Professor," Hagrid told Negi. "Just leave your key with me and tell me the number o' yer Gringotts vault and Molly and I'll make sure they get everythin' they need. Harry, Ron, Hermione, you too. I get the feeling you'll be needin' to stock up as well. Professor, you stay here and talk with Arthur here. He works at the Ministry, but he hasn't been briefed on the situation and needs to know what's goin' on."

"In that case, I'm staying too," InuYasha interrupted them. "I'll need to explain my part of it. Sango, you and Miroku, look after Kagome for me."

"Sure thing, InuYasha," Miroku said. "She's in safe hands with me – uh, I mean, with us."

"All right, let's go, Mr. Hands" Sango said, and started pulling Miroku out of the bar by his ear.

"Oi, where d'you two think you're goin'," Hagrid called after them. "The alley is this way." He pointed towards the back door. "Follow me," he ordered, marching towards the backdoor.

When he opened the door, everyone saw that they were face–to–face with a brick wall. There was an odd patch of four bricks that were, for some reason, deeper into the wall than the others. He took out his umbrella and tapped five seemingly randomly placed bricks around the deeper patch with the tip, and all of a sudden, the bricks came alive and began to fold over each other to yield a passage to the street behind it.

"Welcome to Diagon Alley," Hagrid announced with a grand wave of his frying–pan–sized hand. The group couldn't take everything in at once even if they wanted to, even though they wanted to. Signs and faces were catching their eyes left and right, one after the other.

"Well," Negi said gaily. "Where to first?" And everyone started pointing to places all at once.

"Our first stop would be Gringotts, the wizard bank. You need to get some gold outta yer vaults before you start buyin' stuff," chuckled Hagrid, herding them all down the lane towards the end of the street where the huge bank stood.

As they walked into the main hall, the group was astonished to find the room filled with wrinkled, grumpy-looking creatures. "Uh, Hagrid," Negi started. "Are these –"

"Goblins, Professor. Clever as they come, but not the most friendly of creatures. Best you not get involved in their kind of politics."

"Nor are they the most trustworthy of beasts," Ron whispered to Harry and Hermione.

Hagrid enlisted the help of one of the goblins to take them to each of their vaults, and one by one, they opened the big iron doors to reveal mountains of gold. Harry's mountain in Vault #687 was considerably bigger than anyone else's, of course, being the famous wizard he'd always been.

Then they came to Negi's vault. It was Vault #715. Harry recognized this one. It was only two doors down from the vault that the Sorcerer's Stone had resided in not 15 years ago, and like Vault #713, it had no lock. "Stand back," the little goblin told Negi as the boy–Professor shoved him out of the way. He stood on his tiptoes and ran his hooked fingernail down a crease on the door. They heard a series of locks come undone on the inside, and the door slowly swung open to reveal … nothing?

There was almost nothing in the vault. In fact, there was barely a vault at all. Five inches from the edge, there was just a wall. All that remained in the vault was a little silver chain with a blue pendant decorated with a white crescent moon and a small star. Everyone looked shocked.

Surely that's not all there is, Harry thought skeptically. Even Ron's vault has more gold in it.

As if to answer his question, Negi picked up the chain and inserted the pendant into a small, hard–to–see indentation in the wall. The pendant started to glow, and the glow spread through the wall till it reached the door of the vault. Slowly, the wall split open to reveal gold as far as the eye could see. It was a double–sealed vault. Even Negi was shocked. He had no idea his father had been so wealthy. "Evangeline and Ku:Nel never mentioned this," he whispered to himself. Of course Rakan wouldn't have mentioned it even if he had remembered.

"Whoooooooaaaah," Ron couldn't help but say. "And I thought Harry was rich."

"And I thought Ayaka was rich," Konoka said to herself. Note to self: Don't tell Haruna about this. "Ayaka, make sure you don't tell Asuna about this," she whispered to her friend.

"No need to tell me even once," Ayaka whispered back. If Asuna knew about this, she'd rub it in my face and never let me forget it.

Hermione leaned over to Negi and whispered in his ear. "You've never been here before, right?"

"Yes, that's right," he answered her, still a little short of breath.

"Then how did you know to do that?"

"I can't explain it," he said simply. "Somehow, I just knew." He reached out and grabbed several armfuls of gold, silver and bronze, put it all in his money bag, and with a wave of his staff, the walls finally closed again. Negi reached out and took the chain when everything had settled again. He slipped it over his right wrist. "I remember my grandfather telling me about this chain. It's an heirloom passed down by my father, and they say it possesses magical powers of its own. He said if I ever found it, I should keep it with me at all times, so that's what I'm going to do."

"What kind of powers does it have?" Hermione asked him curiously.

Negi's answer was simple. "It is said that when it is used in combination with this staff, the wielder is said to be invincible. But the scary thing is, my father was already considered invincible, so I guess he thought he didn't need it." Perhaps having it would've saved him from defeat when he fought Fate 10 years ago.

The ride back to the start was not at all pleasant. The mine cars they were riding in swayed dangerously as they sped along. They only had one speed setting, and that happened to be really fast. Shippo wasn't having a good time. "Let me off this thing," he wailed, his eyes squeezed shut. "I don't wanna be here anymore." Suddenly, the rushing and rumbling noise stopped. "I wanna stop! I wanna stop!" he cried. Then he opened his eyes and saw everyone staring at him. "We have stopped!" he said thankfully, his face beginning to flush a little.

Once they were back outside, Negi split up the gold amongst his girls and they broke up into groups to go about their morning. Hagrid, Negi, Kotaro, InuYasha and Ayaka went back to the pub to talk to Mr. Weasley about the current situation, while everyone else split up and headed for the shops. Since Ayaka was still in the dark about things, as well as for a few other assorted reasons, she felt she needed to accompany Negi.

The first stop for the group was Flourish and Blott's, the bookstore. This store was full of books, with wall–to–wall bookshelves that stretched to the very ceiling. Nodoka felt as though she was in heaven. When it was time to leave, everyone had to pull the struggling "Bookworm" out of the shop by her blouse, kicking and screaming. The next stop was Ollivander's wand shop, the finest new-age wand shop in England. Everyone had to be fitted for their own wands, as every person had a certain affinity, and the wand draws from that affinity and chooses its owner. Mostly, Negi's girls didn't need them, as they already had wands of their own, old–age wands that didn't contain the inherent handicap of the new–age wands. New–age wands had magical catalysts placed inside in order to draw in magic power from nature. The last person to be fitted with a wand was Kagome. It took over 20 minutes for the old, never–blinking Ollivander to find a wand suitable for her. He finally settled on a very unorthodox combination: a wand made of alder with a phoenix tail–feather inside. It took over two hours to get everything together, and by now, the sun was getting high in the sky. Noon was approaching as the team picked up all their new belongings and headed back towards the Leaky Cauldron.


1. CDA – Community Development Assistant (and he's a great guy, too)

2. Refers to suppositories of green onions, as mentioned in book #8.


Oh, it's not over yet. There's one more thing for our heroes to experience before they head for Home Sweet Home–Away–From–Home. We're about to see what happens when a demon gets drunk. THAT'S RIGHT! Next chapter, InuYasha is drunk, and on a rampage, and we might even get a few laughs in as well.

That chapter comes in four days, when my Spring Break starts.