Wow, great response last chapter, thank you so much! This is a kind of interlude from mini-Frerin's perspective to give a greater view of how he sees things, though there won't be much story progression. Things mentioned in this chapter will be returned to, I promise :)
Read. Enjoy. Review.
Chapter Twenty Nine # Through My Eyes #
"There are things in life you learn
And oh in time you'll see
It's out there somewhere
It's all waiting
If you keep believing
So don't run
Don't hide
It will be alright
You'll see
Trust me
I'll be there watching over you
Just take a look through my eyes
There's a better place somewhere out there
Just take a look through my eyes
Everything changes
You'll be amazed what you'll find
(There's a better place)
If you look through my eyes
There will be times on this journey
There are things in life you learn
And oh in time you'll see
It's out there somewhere
It's all waiting
If you keep believing
So don't run
Don't hide
It will be alright
You'll see
Trust me
I'll be there watching over you
Just take a look through my eyes
There's a better place somewhere out there
Just take a look through my eyes
Everything changes
You'll be amazed what you'll find
(There's a better place)
If you look through my eyes." Through My Eyes, Phil Collins
Frerin moaned softly and blinked, opening his eyes slowly as he squirmed. Blinking a couple of times, he let out a soft cry when he did not recognise where he was.
The cold, hard stones that he usually slept on had been replaced by what felt like arms – arms that were somehow both hard and soft.
When the arms moved, Frerin let out a piercing scream of terror.
"It's alright, it's alright…" a low voice soothed, and he looked up of the face of the dwarf holding him.
His lip trembled as he recollected the dreamlike events of the previous day. "Th…Thorin?"
The dwarf smiled down at him. "That's right. You're safe here, Frerin, it's alright…"
Frerin yawned, before looking at Thorin nervously. The day before, Thorin had not minded if he was tired. He had seemed to be 'friendly' a word Frerin had not known could apply to adults.
With Frerin's experience, adults were cruel and brought nothing but pain and fear.
But Thorin's not like that…a little voice in his head wanted to believe. He'll look after me…
"Frerin, you're safe, I promise."
No, no, no he's going to hurt me again! Frerin whimpered and bit his lip at the thoughts running through his head, but then Thorin passed him the little wooden horse.
Frerin took the toy carefully, running his hands over the familiar wooden shape, before glancing up at Thorin. "Promise?"
"I promise." Thorin smiled, and Frerin offered him a weak grin in return. "There are a couple of people here that I would like you to meet…"
Frerin took his eyes off of Thorin's face to look around the strange room he was in. The room looked incredibly gentle, with soft chairs and a huge bed. With a little gasp, Frerin shrank back into Thorin's arms as he saw two very strong looking dwarves staring at him with wide eyes and soft smiles.
Frerin may not feel like he could trust Thorin, but he wanted to. He wanted to trust Thorin more than anything else in the world, but these two new dwarves…
Thorin jostled him about slightly and gestured to the boys. "These are my nephews…Fíli…"
The blond dwarf nodded with a smile.
"And Kíli…"
The dark haired dwarf in the bed waved, and timidly Frerin waved back.
"Hello."
Kíli smirked playfully at his brother. "See, he waved at me and said hello. He likes me best!"
Frerin's eyes widened and he wondered if he had offended the blond dwarf, and what the consequences might be, but Fíli laughed.
"Kíli, Kíli, Kíli, you are very mistaken. He said that to both of us, and he obviously likes me better, since he looks very clever."
Kíli looked affronted. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"He's clever enough to know that you're a silly fool and I'm the better brother."
Kíli gasped in what was apparently mock horror. "Never!"
"Boys…" Thorin started.
"I'm sorry Thorin, Frerin. Kíli has so many illusions that he is as high a calibre of dwarf as I-"
"As high a calibre? I'm your younger, stronger, better-looking brother!"
"Better-looking? Where's your beard?"
"Ooh, that hurts!" Kíli hissed, his eyes dancing devilishly. "It's hidden by your enormous pig-headedness!"
"You know that that makes absolutely no sense?" Fíli raised an eyebrow.
Kíli scowled and filled his cheeks with air and stuck his tongue out at his brother, blowing the air out and making a funny noise.
Frerin could not help it. The giggle escaped before he could stop it and he covered up his mouth with his hand.
Giggling was not acceptable. Giggling meant being punished.
Desperate to avoid the physical pain of another beating, Frerin leant into Thorin, who held him a little closer and chuckled heartily.
Frerin dared to look at Kíli, but to his surprise the dwarf was smiling, not angry.
"Did you think that was funny?"
Shyly, Frerin ventured a nod, and Kíli stuck his tongue out at the dwarfling and repeated the strange gesture.
"Kíli!" Thorin chided, sounding rather tired.
Frerin giggled again as Kíli widened his eyes and manipulated his face to look sad and innocent.
"I was just blowing a raspberry, Thorin."
Frerin looked up and Thorin rolled his eyes. "I must warn you, Frerin, my nephews can be most immature at times."
Frerin looked back at the pair and sat up slightly in Thorin's arms, before returning his gaze to Thorin's face.
"I…Am I allowed to giggle?"
Thorin's mouth fell open in shock and Frerin recoiled.
You've gone too far! His mind screamed.
"They didn't let you giggle?" Kíli's voice sounded funny, and when Frerin peered fearfully at the dark headed dwarf, Kíli looked as if he were about to be sick.
Frerin shook his head worriedly. "No giggling or laughing, it's bad!"
"You can giggle and laugh all you want." Fíli promised softly.
Wonder filled Frerin's mind and he smiled slightly. "Really?"
"Really." Kíli, Fíli and Thorin all said at once and he giggled.
"There, see?" Kíli grinned. "Giggling's fun."
Frerin bit his lip, wondering if he could be brave enough to ask the haunting, horrible question in his mind. "Do…do I have to go back?"
"No." Thorin said firmly. "Never. I told you, little one, you're safe now."
Frerin nodded and gave a small smile, leaning against Thorin's chest. A loud knock on the door startled the child and he gasped, gripping onto Thorin's tunic desperately.
"Shh, shh." Thorin soothed as he strode over to the door. Frerin covered away from the large, intimidating dwarf in the doorway, but Thorin greeted him happily. "Balin…"
"The councillors want to have a meeting regarding the foster program…" the white bearded dwarf smiled as he noticed Frerin. "Hello, little one. What's your name?"
Shrinking further into Thorin's arms, he mumbled. "Frerin, sir."
"I shall explain later, Balin. Frerin, I have to go-"
Frerin let out a cry of fear and tightened his grip on Thorin's tunic. "Please don't leave me!"
For a moment, Thorin said nothing, and Frerin wondered what could have possessed him to be so foolishly brazen, but then Thorin smiled gently and ran a hand over his hair.
"I am not going to leave you, khuzdith. I was only going to say that this meeting shall be very dull, and you may want to stay with Fíli and Kíli."
Frerin blinked. "I…I have a choice?"
"Yes."
"Can I stay with you?" Frerin asked in his littlest voice and Thorin nodded, shifting him slightly.
"I'll be back later in the afternoon, Fíli do not let your brother out of bed."
"Thorin!" Kíli protested.
"Got it." Fíli nodded.
With wide eyes, Frerin took in the elegant decorations of the halls he was carried into, shuffling slightly so that he could hold onto Thorin with his legs as well as his arms.
He cast a sheepish look up at Thorin who smiled at him encouragingly, before pushing open a heavy door and walking into a large, heavily decorated room with a long table surrounded by adults.
Gasping softly, Frerin shrank into his protector's embrace slightly, intimidated by the mass of bigger folk. Thorin nodded regally and sat down at the head of the table, shifting Frerin so that he was in a more comfortable position on his lap.
Happy that he could hide his face in Thorin's chest at any time, Frerin looked up at the councillors with timid curiosity.
"My lord, the boy?" The closest one asked and Frerin instantly recoiled into Thorin nervously.
"I have brought him to this council as an example-"
Frerin stiffened. The last time he had been an example he had not been able to lie on his back for a week. But this time, Thorin's big hand rubbed circles into his back soothingly and Frerin looked up worriedly as the dwarf continued speaking.
"-of the children with no memory of life before the goblins. Until the envoys arrive from the Blue Mountains he will be fostered by me, and I would like to encourage you to take in children yourselves - set examples for the others."
"That sounds reasonable, sire. What is the lad's name?" A friendly dwarf answered, and Thorin looked down at Frerin.
"Why don't you tell them what you told me?"
Frerin peeked out at the councillors and shook his head desperately, nervously leaning up to whisper his fear into Thorin's ear.
"You did not steal it, you found it." Thorin murmured firmly, gesturing to the council. "You can tell them, no one is going to hurt you."
Frerin took a deep breath. "I f-found my name, in the mines. It was on a t-toy, one of the older children read it to me..." He looked up at Thorin for encouragement.
"Go on..."
Frerin carefully waved his horse at the councillors, before clutching it back to his chest in case they tried to take it. "My name is Frerin."
Several councillors murmured and gasped, but the dwarf that had asked the question smiled. "That's a good name. Though your majesty, there will be some meetings that the boy cannot attend."
"I am aware of that." Thorin nodded.
One of the councillors spoke some funny words and Thorin replied in the same language. The foreign tongue was strangely comforting to the little boy and he leant against Thorin's chest, letting the words fly over his head. Slowly, Frerin brought the horse up to eyes level. He had never seen a real horse before, and he wondered how they moved. Binni had said that they were alive…
Bringing the toy back to his heart, Frerin nestled into Thorin's arms and dozed off, deciding that it would be good to sleep while the safety lasted. When the jolting movements of walking woke him, he was being carried down an unfamiliar corridor that was filled with people.
There were people in the rooms and in the hall, and Frerin was terrified to recognise several of the many children. He clutched Thorin tightly, believing that his was where the older dwarf would leave him.
Thorin looked down with a smile. "Ah, you're awake, little one."
Frerin nodded nervously.
"We're in the Healing Halls at the moment, if you look right down there there's another little corridor - Kíli and Fíli are just down there."
Nodding now that he had his bearings, Frerin listened to Thorin continuing.
We're going to see a friend of mine - Bilbo Baggins. He found you all, and told us that you were down there so we can rescue you, but he got hurt."
As they turned into a room, Frerin's eyes widened. He recognised the creature sitting by the bed from the whispered stories of the older children ventured when the goblins were further away.
"Bilbo, how are you faring?" Thorin asked seriously, and the hobbit in the bed gave a wry smile.
"I've been better, but I'll live."
"I am glad to hear it." Thorin nodded, turning to Frerin. "This is Bilbo Baggins and his cousin, Frodo."
"Hello!" The dark haired hobbit in the chair smiled at Frerin kindly.
"Who's this, Thorin?" Bilbo asked curiously, and Frerin dared to speak out of turn for the first time in years.
"I'm Frerin." He said quietly, before taking a deep breath. "Are you hobbits?"
"We are." Frodo smiled, nodding his strangely curly head.
Thorin spoke to the hobbits briefly, before bidding them good day and carrying Frerin out to speak of some other dwarves about various different things, and it slowly dawned on the dwarfling that Thorin was not going to drop him.
Thorin was safe.
Eventually the corridors grew dark and Frerin found himself being carried back into Fíli and Kíli's room. The two dwarves were talking seriously to a woman that Frerin had never seen before. The moment Kíli saw them, however, the sobriety melted away and he grinned.
"Hello, Frerin! There he is, Amad."
The woman smiled at Frerin with a strange look of awe in her eyes. "Hello, Frerin."
"This is my sister, Dis." Thorin declared and Frerin offered her a little smile.
"Hello."
Dis smiled at the child as Thorin walked closer to her. "Frerin, can I borrow Thorin for a short while? He'll be back before the hour is up..."
Frerin bit his lip and clutched Thorin's tunic even tighter, but then Kíli smiled at him.
"It's alright, Frerin, you can stay here with us. We'll look after you until Thorin's finished his boring adult work."
Glancing up at Thorin, Frerin was contented with the dwarf's nod and smile, and he made no protest when Thorin placed him on the bed next to Kíli, ruffling his hair gently.
Suddenly though, the lack of Thorin's heavy arms around him left Frerin feeling horribly vulnerable and he stiffened. As if sensing the dwarfling's distress, Kíli patted the bed next to him, inviting Frerin to come closer. Shyly, the child snuck forward, and Kíli put an arm around his shoulders.
Instantly Frerin relaxed, deciding that Kíli was safe too as Thorin and his sister left the room.
"Frerin!" Fíli cried suddenly, and the boy jumped. "Your arms!"
Frerin shrank into Kíli's side, tugging the sleeves of the new tunic Thorin had gotten him yesterday over the welts on his lower arms.
Kíli's hand stopped him and gently pulled the sleeves up again. "Do they hurt, little one?"
Frerin shook his head honestly, the lashes were a few days old and he barely noticed them, especially after Thorin had taken him to the healers the day before. "Not much, sir…"
Kíli gasped in mock horror. "Oh no!"
"W-what?" Frerin swallowed.
"You called me sir! I feel…I feel…I feel old!"
At Kíli's dramatic wail, Frerin giggled, causing the brunette dwarf to grin and pull him a little closer.
"There we go." Fíli grinned, and then his blue eyes lit up. "Here, Frerin, how would you like to hear a story?"
"Yes please…" Frerin breathed, leaning forward eagerly.
"Hmm, which story?" Kíli wondered.
Fíli looked at the child. "What sort of stories do you like?"
Frerin blinked. No one had ever asked him what he liked before. "I…I don't know…"
"Alright then… Oh, I know a good one…" Kíli's eyes lit up and he signalled something to Fíli, before whispering to Frerin. "Fíli always starts the stories, he's good with beginnings."
Fíli cleared his throat and Frerin nestled down to listen.
"In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit…"
I hope that was okay, it was just a bit of angsty-fluff! Personally I can see Fili and Kili going overboard on the dramatics to make Frerin feel safe, even after their growth through both quests :PI was aiming for feels, any good? Anyway, your previous questions about Frerin may be answered next chapter ;) and you will also get a flashback to Fíli and Kíli's reactions to Frerin's name, I promise!
