Author notes: Further Jayney goodness


Severus was severely pissed. The woman who had re-enacted page 394 of Karma Sutra had gone to Gryffindor tower to "hang out" with her friends- the boy who lived, and lived and lived to flirt with him and the recently lovesick redheaded Weasley who followed him like a puppy. Hermione was supposed to be tied to his bed. But no. she was in Gryffindor tower. And he wasn't.

He sneered and stood up. He stalked out of the Great Hall and up to the afore mentioned tower.

He cringed.

Tucked away in the corner of the Fat Lady's portrait was a box of chocolate cream-filled penises.

"Why, if it isn't Professor Snape," the Fat Lady giggled. She actually giggled at him.

"M'Lady. I was hoping to enter the room behind you."

"Why Severus, you know I cannot allow you that without the password."

He furrowed his brow, the bloody password.

"Ah well you could do… something else." She smiled down at him. "Yes. I'm sure I could think of something." She smiled again, in what he thought was supposed to be a seductive "come hither" sultry pout.

He watched as she turned away and adjusted her dress. She turned back and his eyebrow raised as he took in the sight of the painting's cleavage. She bent down so that his face was at the same level as her bosom. She puckered her lips and he stepped away as the portrait swung open.

"Hermione!" he didn't think he'd ever been as happy to see her as he was now.

She smiled up at him. She grabbed his hand and dragged him away before Ron caught sight of the dark haired enigma that was Severus Snape.