A/N:

Wow, ok, I just realized how short this was compared to the previous few chapters... sorry about that, just trying to get back into this one. Thank you again for the reviews, they are truely appreciated!!


Chapter Twenty Nine

Whatever souls are made of, his and mine are the same.
- Emily Bronte


Lach gathered his lover into his arms the instant he stepped into the kitchen at the end of his shift. On a vessel the size of Jack Harkness' Welshman, it was impossible not to have heard what happened earlier, on the bridge.

Kai didn't resist being held—usually he at least pretended to care that they might get caught stealing a moment when one or the other of them was still on duty. His lack or resistance only served to worry the ship's cook more. He was sure that the incident with the military cruiser wasn't really Kai's fault, it was probably a system malfunction, but that didn't mean Kai wouldn't be held accountable. He had been on duty, it was his responsibility. Sitting in the kitchen waiting to find out what exactly the Captain was going to do about whatever negligence he decided Kai was guilty of had frayed his nerves to shreds. However, even under the most lenient of commands, there was no excuse for the ship's cook to wander up to the bridge and ask if his lover was going to be spending the next fortnight in lockup. Or worse. Not that he really would have expected worse with Harkness. Jack was fair. He was so much better than fair. But even he wouldn't let something like that go without some kind of reprimand, some form of punishment. He was a captain and ships' captains, even the best of them, had to maintain control. Authority. It was the way things were done and just because Jack wasn't the sort to beat his men…

And Kai still hanging onto him—clinging to him as if…. "Hey, come on, talk to me," Lach coaxed. He tilted the younger man's chin up so he could look in his eyes.

"I could have gotten us all killed," he croaked out; there were unshed tears glistening in his eyes. Shame. Guilt. "I…I can't believe I was so stupid! I put us right in their path…"

"Shhh, hey, baby, all that matters is that we're all still here. We're ok," the last was very nearly a question. He didn't know how to ask what he really wanted to know. It didn't escape his notice that instead of clamouring for their supper, the rest of the day shift was giving the two of them privacy. Under any other circumstances he would be grateful, but at the moment, he feared it was an ill omen. But surely the worst Jack would do was toss Kai in lockup for a few days, dock his pay… revoke a few privileges for a while. He wouldn't actually put him off the ship… "Come on, sit down. I'll fix you a plate."

"You should get the rest of the shift fed first," Kai told him, pulling back, refusing to be coddled further.

"What about you?"

"I'm not sure I can eat, not tonight."

"Kai, tell me what happened."

"I almost got us all killed, that's what happened. If Julian Kyle…"

"Kyle?"

There other nodded, still looking miserable. "He pulled some sort of ruse, convinced the cruiser we were an alien transport ship… him and the Captain. If it weren't for them, we'd be in lockup by now."

"But we're not. We're ok," he gave over another questioning look, hoping they were really all ok.

Kai nodded again, finally understating his lover's unasked question. What he didn't understand was why the Captain's reaction made him feel even more ashamed of his own negligence. If he'd yelled at him, thrown him in lockup, revoked privileges… but he hadn't. "The Captain…he didn't even… he just told me not to let it happen again. I expected Smeed to pull me aside after and… and say something… do something—put me on latrine duty or something. But he didn't. At the end of the shift, he told us again that we'd all done good, just like Jack did before he and Kam left the bridge. All of us, Lach. Even me.

"What kind of a man is he?" Kai wanted to know. "What kind of man would let something like that slide without…without doing anything to the crewman responsible?"

"He's the good kind." The kind Lach hadn't been sure really still existed in the Universe. The kind none of them had thought still existed. "And he's not the only one," he added with a smile and a purposeful look in the other's direction.

"I screwed up."

"Everybody screws up, Babe," he pressed another kiss to the other's forehead before heading out to see about getting the rest of the crew their supper. "I'll be back in a minute," he promised.

"I'll be here."

………………………………………………………………

"Was it you, or the sensors?" Harkness asked, when Kai Jennings came to his office many hours later, saying the same things he'd said to the ship's cook.

He didn't meet the Captain's icy blue gaze. "It doesn't matter whether it was me or the sensors, Sir. I was on duty, it was my responsibility, Sir. I—I accept that, Sir." The more he'd tried to forget about it like Lach said he should, the more it needled at him. He really didn't expect the Captain to ambush him with a reprimand later, he wasn't like that (although he'd known men who were and Harkness certainly had a reputation for being mercurial, unpredictable), but he couldn't get over the feeling that he'd done something wrong and there should be consequences for it. Nobody let anybody off the hook like that.

The older man regarded him a long, thoughtful moment. "So what are you saying, you want me to discipline you?" he had a sudden flash of a conversation from centuries ago…Toshiko… he was sure it was Tosh… and an alien necklace, an alien she'd brought into the Hub… and Bobby… how many rules had Bobby Chase broken over the course of his years working for Torchwood?

"I—I made a mistake, Sir," Kai's voice brought him back to the present.

Jack folded his hands in front of him on his desk. "Mr Jennings—Kai—if reprimanded my crew for every mistake everybody made, we'd all spend more time in lockup than we would at our posts," he flashed what he hoped was a good natured smile. "And that includes me, by the way," he added to the startled, disbelieving, look on the younger man's face. "I've made more mistakes than anybody else on this tub." I've loved longer…

Jennings swallowed hard, seeming to draw a conclusion…the wrong conclusion, Jack realized, correctly assessing the guilt-plagued look that suddenly clouded the other's face.

He moved out from behind his desk and rested his hand on the crewman's shoulder, forcing him to look up at him. "One of the mistakes I didn't make, was when I decided to offer you a permanent contract, Kai. You…this whole crew…I am so proud of each and every one of you. It is an honour to have you, all of you, on my ship."

"I—I don't understand…" he searched the Captain's face looking for any sign…but his expression bore out his tone. He meant it.

"I was alone for a long time," he confided. "It was by design. And it was a mistake. I'd forgotten how good it felt to have friends, people I could count on. People who don't look at me as a means to an end… a short term meal ticket. At least that's assuming…" he left it hanging, even though he felt confident in the answer.

"No, Sir! This ship, his crew…it's been so long since I've had a home, Sir. But even then…" he bit back the last of it.

"Even then it wasn't much of a home?" Jack hazarded.

"I…I was younger then. I… I did a lot of stuff I'm not exactly proud of, Sir. I didn't know better."

The Captain gave him an appraising look… He couldn't be more than twenty five, but out on the fringes where life was hard, short…involuntarily his thoughts leapt to Kam. He was twenty. I want more than fourteen short, years… it was selfish. There was always the chance that Kam would decide to pull up stakes and leave him for greener pastures, a normal life… but I would give anything for forty or fifty years together this time…

"We've all made mistakes, Crewman," he told the young man standing in front of him. "Everybody deserves a second chance. Everybody deserves to feel safe. To be safe." To feel loved…valued.

"I'm not sure too many other people in the Empire see it that way, Sir. If… if you don't mind me speaking freely," he added. His lose tongue had gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion.

Jack just smiled. "I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to speak freely. But… if there's nothing else I can do for you…?" he asked because as much as he didn't want to deal with it, he'd promised James he'd go over the books before they arrived at Tunga Tav, and by his estimation, they would be there before the end of the night shift.

"No, Sir. Thank you, Sir. For everything."

"I'm not sure even I can take credit for everything, Mr Jennings," Jack teased, walking the younger man to his door. He was very pleased to see Kam standing on the other side of it, carrying two cups of coffee. "But you're welcome."

Kai excused himself as quickly as courtesy would allow.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," the Welshman's pilot said, as he set the mugs down on Jack's desk.

He drew him into his arms, "Nope. You are just the man I wanted to see, in fact."

Kam met his kiss half way, returned it, but gave him a scrutinizing look just the same. "Why is that?" he asked. Technically he was supposed to be on the bridge, but when Julian had come up to relieve him for lunch, he'd decided to check in on Jack first.

"Do you know anything about accounting…?" he began; the younger man's look silenced him. It had been a long shot, just because Ianto kept the financials in perfect order… Kam's next words still surprised him.

"I could learn," he said in a shy, uncertain sounding tone, "If…if you wanted me to."

Jack brushed his lips against the young man's mouth again. "You don't ever have to do anything you don't want to, Cariad," he promised softly. "Not for me or anybody else."

He bit his lip, still looking, sounding, a little uncertain. "I love you, Jack."

"I love you too. I will always love you," he added because, selfishly, he loved the way Kam looked at him when he said it—which didn't make the words any less true. "And I will never, ever forget you," he promised.