Title: The Teacher

Disclaimer: Everything that's part of the Harry Potter world (including of course the passges borrowed from PoA) belongs to J. K. Rowling.

Pairing: SS/RL

Author Notes: Second to last chapter. We're nearing the end. I apologise for the long wait, exams are coming up. Thanks again for your great comments, they are appreciated :).

Agonised

As soon as Black had been shut up in Professor Flitwick's office (he had coincidentally wandered the corridor Severus had been striding through with the four stretchers) and the children had been brought to the Hospital Wing, upsetting a confused Madame Pomfrey immensely, Severus went to send a letter to the Ministry and then to rise Albus. Flitwick stayed in front of his office, his voice even squeakier than usual, ready to fight under the sacrifice of his life to keep Black there. Severus hurried past the Gargoyle and up the winding staircase to hammer against Albus's door. After a while it swung open to admit him and he strode inside furiously.

Albus, dressed in his nightshirt, descended the stairs sleepily and eyed him in curious confusion. "I think I do interpret your vicious knocking correctly, if I assume that there is a problem, Severus?" he said quietly and Severus barely managed to let him finish his sentence.

"Oh, yes, several!" he burst out and started explaining what had happened, leaving out the bits with Remus and himself, causing Albus to vanish into his bedroom to put on his robes and leave his quarters with Severus. Severus had reached the end of the story by the time they arrived at the Hospital Wing. Albus hadn't said a word throughout the whole account, just stared into space seriously, like he was staring at the three children now.

"You've got a cut there, Severus, my boy," he said suddenly and Severus reached for his temple which was still throbbing. The blood had dried.

"Yes, I told you –"

"And the Dementors were chased away?"

"I think so, but –"

"You informed the Minister, Severus?"

"Yes, I –"

"I will speak to Black. When the Minister arrives, please tell him all you have told me." With that Dumbledore left and Severus was compelled to wait, sitting down on a bed, refusing to let Madame Pomfrey heal his temple. The physical pain distracted him from the hollow feeling inside him.

Whom would Albus believe? Well, Severus could guess, really. But it wasn't Albus's responsibility. The Minister was in charge. And Severus could be quite the hero and rather polite, wishing only the best for his students.

Severus walked to a window and looked at the full moon resentfully. He couldn't believe that just a few hours before he had kissed the werewolf, had held him in his arms, shared his bed with him. For the last time. How had his lips tasted? How had his body felt? Why hadn't Severus noticed any sign of betrayal in him? All year? He was such a fool. He wasn't who he had used to be.

All those past months seemed like mere days now. The fewer hours like years. Good times always seemed short. Agony stayed for ages. How was he supposed to survive this? Now that what he had feared had come true. Regret. Because he could not erase all those feelings, would miss them. Him. Would suffer from the loss. And he wished it back; that moment of oblivious bliss in early March. But it wasn't a surprise, he had known all along that it would end. Or had he?

Only half an hour later the Minister arrived with Flitwick and Severus met him in the corridor, greeting him in as polite a manner as he could manage. He couldn't keep his mind from drifting off into the Forbidden Forest. In fact, for the half hour he had been alone with his thoughts they had been full of that agonised howl. Those pained golden eyes. But Severus was the one who had been hurt. Why was he feeling so ashamed?

Severus told the Minister a shortened and polished version of what had happened, making himself a hero, the saviour, leaving out most of Remus and putting in a lot of Black. He even protected Potter and the other two by saying they had been bewitched, even though he knew that the three of them didn't need to have a Confundus Charm put on them to be so foolish to knock him out and help Black and Remus. He was promised an Order of Merlin Second Class, maybe First, and told Fudge exactly that he wanted Potter to be expelled and why. Not that he believed that would happen. But it was worth a try.

Suddenly they heard shouting in the ward and entered it to find Potter out of bed and looking shocked. He immediately started entreating the Minister to spare Black but luckily he wasn't taken seriously. He was a child, and Severus wasn't. That was the big difference in their stories. When Granger began to babble, too, Severus thought he needed to speak up to defame them a little more.

"You see, Minister? Confunded, both of them… Black's done a very good job on them…"

"WE'RE NOT CONFUNDED!" roared the boy and Pomfrey was about to throw them out when Albus entered the ward. Potter seized the chance to try and address him, and again Pomfrey tried to throw them all out but Albus wouldn't let her.

"My apologies, Poppy, but I need a word with Mr Potter and Miss Granger," said he. "I have just been talking to Sirius Black –"

"I suppose he's told you the same fairy tale he's planted into Potter's mind? Something about a rat, and Pettigrew being alive –" Severus interrupted him. He had a bad feeling already.

"That, indeed, is Black's story," said Albus and gave him that look of his. That 'I know that you acted too rashly again, so don't give me that tone'-look. Severus knew that he wasn't the one who would be believed tonight. No matter how loyal he had always been. It was so unfair! He always did everything wrong, no matter what he did. The Gryffindors were the heroes and he was always the bad guy. He hated it. He hated how Dumbledore supported it.

"And does my evidence count for nothing?" he snarled petulantly. "Peter Pettigrew was not in the Shrieking Shack, nor did I see any sign of him in the grounds."

"That was because you were knocked out, Professor," Granger said and it made Severus's blood boil over. He didn't need a reminder of the fact that he had been knocked out by three children in front of Remus. And that Remus hadn't cared, obviously. "You didn't arrive in time to hear –"

"Miss Granger," Severus managed in a level voice before it betrayed him, "HOLD YOUR TONGUE!"

Those blasted emotions. Severus barely registered what Fudge said to him or that he was thrown out by Dumbledore. He didn't move an inch. Just stared at Albus willing him to believe him, trying to look straight into his mind, though he didn't have a chance to do so.

"You surely don't believe a word of Black's story?" he asked and Albus's answer told him that, yes, he did believe every single word of it. And that, no, Severus's evidence didn't count for anything.

"I wish to speak to Harry and Hermione alone."

Well if his word didn't count, what about his life? What about Black's deathly potential? He took a step forward. "Sirius Black showed he was capable of murder at the age of sixteen," Severus breathed. There was still revenge in order. There was still punishment to give, wasn't there? He had never been punished properly. "You haven't forgotten that, Headmaster? You haven't forgotten that he once tried to kill me?"

"My memory is as good as it ever was."

That was all it took for Severus to understand. Not even his life counted anything. He wasn't important. Hadn't ever been. Was a tool, after all, nothing more. And of course Dumbledore wouldn't do him the favour to make Black suffer for everything he had done. For what he had done tonight. It made him furious. It made him desperate. Severus turned on his heel and strode out of the Hospital Wing to make his way upstairs and to Black, accompanied by Fudge. He walked fast because he knew that there was something to happen. He would watch the Kiss. He would make sure it was performed! No matter what Dumbledore said. Tonight he wanted to be triumphant over Black. He wanted to show him how it felt to lose everything, to be absolutely helpless. He wanted to see how he lost his soul. To see how the one who had stolen everything from him disappeared. And he wanted to see how Remus would suffer from it.

"I only hope Dumbledore's not going to make difficulties," Severus said when they had almost reached Flitwick's office. "The Kiss will be performed immediately?"

"As soon as Macnair returns with the Dementors. This whole Black affair has been highly embarrassing. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to informing the Daily Prophet that we've got him at last… I daresay they'll want to interview you, Snape… and once young Harry's back in his right mind, I expect he'll want to tell the Prophet exactly how you saved him…"

Severus smirked then, but not because of the interview, because he would be present when the sentence was performed. And because Potter would never say anything good about him. As vice versa.

"So what about that Lupin?" Fudge asked and Severus hesitated.

"He… it seemed to me as if he had helped Black."

"Ah, well… a werewolf. I really don't know how Dumbledore could accept him here. It is no surprise that such a creature would do evil!"

Severus didn't answer. His jaw set. He tried not to be angry at Fudge for saying that. After all, he didn't care, did he?

Fudge hurried after him and was out of breath by the time they reached the office where Flitwick was waiting. Macnair, his old Death Eater colleague, soon joined them in the company of two Dementors. He nodded at Severus who just ignored him. He didn't want anything to do with him. His left arm twisted of its own accord as if the Mark on it had just reappeared from a long absence and it made him feel uneasy. That skull on his arm suited him quite well after all, didn't it?

Severus couldn't feel worse than he already did. Or so he thought. But when he stood between the creatures he heard "You fool" echoing in his head over and over again, so cold and unloving. There had been no affection in that voice at all. It had been void of all emotion. And there was only one thing that was worse than hatred: indifference.

"Open the door," Severus said quietly to Flitwick and the little wizard looked at Fudge insecurely.

"I think we should wait for Dumbledore, Snape," said Fudge.

"I don't care if Dumbledore wants to be there or about what he has to say! You are in charge not he! So open the door!" Severus snapped and the other two looked at each other. Then Fudge shrugged and nodded.

"The sooner, the better, I think."

So Flitwick took the Sealing Charms off the door and opened it, the Dementors glided inside and Severus after them but when he looked round there was…

"No one here," whispered Severus and whirled round to Flitwick. "Where is he?"

"I… I don't understand! I was here all the time!" Flitwick squeaked hysterically and Severus looked out of the window. He didn't see anything. There wasn't a sign of him. The only thing visible was a feather, silently soaring through the air.

"Im-impossible!" gasped Fudge and Severus's eyes narrowed.

"Impossible, indeed."

He turned, stormed out of the office and marched back to the Hospital Wing in angry strides, followed by Fudge who babbled in on him about how that could be possible. Severus knew how. It was the boy. It was always him. And when they met Dumbledore in the corridor the Hospital Wing was situated in Severus knew by his expression that he had helped.

"What is the matter? You look upset," said Albus good-naturedly. He could at least try and conceal it.

"He's gone!" Severus cried. "Black's gone, can you explain it?"

"Oh? How is that possible?"

"Do you really wonder? I think we both know what happened!"

"I don't think I follow you, Severus…"

"I don't see a way how he could have escaped," said Fudge.

"He must have Disapparated, Severus, we should've left someone in the room with him. When this gets out –" Dumbledore said and Severus hated the way he acted dumb.

"HE DIDN'T DISAPPARATE! YOU CAN'T APPARATE OR DISAPPARATE INSIDE THIS CASTLE! THIS – HAS – SOMETHING – TO – DO – WITH – POTTER!" Severus roared beside himself.

"Severus – be reasonable – Harry has been locked up –"

Severus had enough of his calm satisfaction. He was making a fool of him. It was one of the worst treatments he had ever received from Albus. He burst open the locked door with a crash and strode inside.

"OUT WITH IT, POTTER! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Professor Snape! Control yourself!" shrieked Pomfrey but all control had already been lost. And Severus wasn't interested in what anyone else had to say. He knew that Potter was behind it all. But after he had shouted some more at two weak and, as it seemed, innocent children, Dumbledore silenced him.

"Unless you are suggesting that Harry and Hermione are able to be in two places at once, I'm afraid I don't see a point in troubling them further."

Severus was fuming. He stared from Fudge whose shocked face he wished to punch to Dumbledore whose twinkling eyes he would have liked to rip out. Why did he do this to him? Why was he being betrayed by everyone tonight? He hated it. He wanted them to suffer like he did. He hoped that when Remus returned to the castle he would be arrested. And at the same time he wished he hadn't done to him what he had. Because all this wasn't only about Potter or Black, it was mostly about Remus.

Severus whirled round and stormed out of the ward with his robes billowing behind him. He felt as if his insides were being torn apart. The churning of his stomach was so painful that he barely made it to the dungeons where he slammed the doors behind him, shattered the glass cabinets once again with a surge of angry magic while passing them, and wrenched open a window in his bedroom. He felt Remus's skin on his own, smelt his scent in the room. He wanted to forget it all. He wanted to get rid of it and act as if it had never happened. As if none of it had ever happened. But it had. And it had been wonderful. That was the problem. He choked on the memories and cried out his agony over the grounds. This pain was unbearable.

Severus seized his head and bent over the windowsill. He knew such pain. He had felt it before. But not in such intensity. It didn't pain him that Black had escaped. It angered him. What pained him was that everyone lied to him, used him, betrayed him. All night he had seen the true faces of those he had trusted. He had seen Dumbledore's before, but Remus's was a surprise, a shock. How could the same face have looked up at him lovingly in that very bed so many times? How could those cruel lips have soothed him with the sweetest of words? How could everything have been a lie, a farce? Why hadn't Severus noticed where Remus's loyalties lay?

Severus reached into his robes and closed his fist round his wand. Only that it wasn't his when he pulled it out to put the lights on. It was Remus's. It still felt good in his hand and it hurt terribly to look at it. Severus couldn't keep it close. He needed to bring it back to Remus's office. Even the name hurt in his head. It would hurt on his tongue, too, he was sure. It was best not to use it anymore. After all, he had lost the right to use it anyway. As Remus had lost the right to use his.

Severus kept staring at the wand in his hand but didn't see it. Instead he saw Remus's body crash to the floor, and felt the pain as if it were his own. He hated to be the one who felt guilty and he hated the way he had been fooled. The way he cared. When his eyes swept over the grounds he noticed that the sun had risen and only a few minutes after the first rays of light had touched the Forest a staggering form came stumbling out of it.

Severus could feel every step Remus took towards the castle in his own legs, every painfully searing step. He wouldn't stay there to watch him fall to the ground over and over again, hoping he wouldn't get up again. Because he wished to help him, to run out there and steady him. Because it had been his fault as well that the werewolf had run wild. But he wouldn't give in to that feeling.

He turned round and staggered to the bathroom. When he looked into the mirror he noticed for the first time his distorted features, the lines of misery on his desperate face. And the shame. He averted his eyes and turned on the water, letting it run over a washcloth. He stared into the transparent stream for a few moments, an when he raised the cloth to his forehead to clean away the blood he was careful not to look at his own face. He didn't want to see it ever again. He was grateful for the stinging pain where the rough fabric touched the wound, because it made every other feeling easier to block out for the moment.

Once his forehead was cleaned up and the washcloth, stained with his blood, lay discarded in the basin, Severus left his rooms, Remus's wand back in his pocket and walked up the stone steps to get to Remus's office and back before the werewolf reached the castle. In the Entrance Hall he saw Fudge who was leaving and Albus who was seeing him out.

"Well, in that case, we won't arrest the werewolf. But, really, Dumbledore, it is irresponsible to let him teach here," said Fudge and Severus froze.

"It is my responsibility, Cornelius, and I beg you to keep it quiet. The poor man has gone through so much," Dumbledore said pleasantly and Fudge nodded.

"Good, good, and do tell Snape that under the circumstances I cannot give him the Order of Merlin, as there has been no real achievement after all."

"Of course, Cornelius."

Severus backed off into the shadows. So Remus would get away unscathed. And he would stay at the castle. Severus would need to see him, need to feel that terrible pain, every day. He couldn't. He wouldn't survive it. He needed him gone, and he would really make him go this time. The shame, the betrayal, the regret. He couldn't bear it. Suddenly there were voices in the corridors deeper in the dungeons and Severus started. He pressed against the wall and squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to do something. Something that was bound to make the werewolf leave. Draco Malfoy's cold laugh reached his ears and drew nearer. The werewolf. Of course. He had promised, maybe, that his lips were sealed, but then again, those who betrayed him couldn't count on his loyalty.

Determined, Severus stepped out of the shadows and into the way of Draco and his fellows. He could rely on their spreading every bit of compromising information very quickly. "I'll accompany you to breakfast," said he and they nodded, startled, proceeding to the Great Hall. "It has been quite a busy night. You were lucky to be in your dormitories. After all, we wouldn't have wanted any of you to be Professor Lupin's breakfast."

They stared at him and when they entered the Hall Draco asked, "Sir, what do you mean, 'Lupin's breakfast'?"

Severus raised a would-be surprised eyebrow. Cruel satisfaction crept into his body when he formed the words in his head, the words that would make Remus suffer like he deserved it. The words that would make everything disappear. All of it. "Don't tell me that you didn't hear any hungry howling from the grounds tonight…" he said suggestively and deciding that that was all it needed to transmit the message, he left them and went to the High Table, watching with satisfaction as the news was broken to all the other students, one by one, until the Great Hall had turned into a buzzing bee hive.

Of course his behaviour had consequences. Remus had obviously managed to stumble into the castle and up to Dumbledore's office for the good news of his resignation reached Severus right after breakfast in the form of a fuming Minerva McGonagall. She scolded him and told him that she was very disappointed in him. Why wasn't anyone disappointed in Remus? Severus was. He had never been more disappointed.

"You really don't have yourself under control, do you? The Headmaster wants to see you," Minerva said coldly and Severus swept past her, bracing himself for trouble. It didn't matter. He had reached his aim, even though it didn't cheer him up. At least it didn't make him feel worse either.

"I don't know what caused you to do this, Severus," Albus said seriously. He hadn't offered him a cup of tea, not even a lemon drop. The seriousness of the situation was quite apparent.

"I wouldn't suppose so," Severus snarled and fixed one of the silver instruments on Albus's desk.

"Severus," said Albus and gave him a sad look, "whatever impression you are under, whatever betrayal you suspect… I'm sure you have been victim to a misconception."

"What do you know about it?" snapped Severus. "He lied not only to me but to you as well, he endangered everyone. He doesn't deserve what you grant him. I don't want him here."

Albus sighed. "Have you never thought about the possibility that Remus might have done what he did because he was afraid of our reactions? Because he couldn't bear disappointing us?"

Severus huffed. "I don't care about his selfish reasons or his missing backbone! Had he told the truth from the beginning none of this would have happened." That was right. Nothing of it would have happened. Neither the sweet words nor the kisses, the embraces, the… for Merlin's sake. Severus clenched his fists. All that would have happened for sure. But he wouldn't have lost it. He would still be in utter bliss now. He cursed Remus in his mind. Cursed him for this horrible mess he had caused.

Albus sighed again and shook his head, sitting back in his chair. "I know it is none of my business, Severus but… I am sure that Remus cares about you very much. And I am sure that none of the pain he caused you was intentional."

"You're right," Severus muttered, not in the slightest surprised by Albus's knowledge of their close relationship, "it is none of your business."

"You know, Severus… Remus had resigned long before the message of your slipped tongue reached my office. It wouldn't have been necessary. He was very upset, a nervous heap, and disgusted by himself to a very unhealthy degree, and I could say nothing to convince him to stay. He was very relieved to hear that no one had been bitten and he inquired after your well-being in particular."

Severus didn't say anything. He knew if he hadn't been so absent-minded he could have prevented the incident. But it was easier to blame it on Remus. He had so wanted to see Black that he had just left, forgetting everything, neglecting everything for him. He should live with the consequences.

"He is in an abysmal state, Severus. He wishes he could talk to you. He is packing now, maybe you had better see him before it is too late."

"It already is too late," said Severus and touched his head which was still throbbing. "He has made quite clear where his loyalties lie."

Albus was silent for a moment. Then he cleared his throat and folded his hands. "Does your head still hurt, Severus? Or is it your dignity?"

Severus shot him a venomous glare. He didn't know anything! His dignity had been torn up by many hands in the last hours, not least of all by Albus's. But his dignity hadn't been lost. His soul had.

"You see, my boy, when Remus resigned he told me that what he'd miss most would be your sense of responsibility, even if it wasn't to his advantage last night. Even though you might not have realised, Remus's health has improved rapidly under your care."

Of course he had realised. It had been his most important concern. "If he wants the Wolfsbane he can forget it! I will not waste any more time on this worthless werewolf," Severus growled but Albus shook his head.

"You misunderstand me, Severus. What Remus was saying was that people underestimate the healing effect of waking to see a caring face," he said quietly and Severus narrowed his eyes, his stomach churning painfully. "It wasn't your Potion, Severus, it was you he was referring to. And I am sure that you have experienced something similar."

"What… What else did he say?" Severus mumbled despite himself, aching with curiosity. He needed to know what Remus had defended himself with. If he had confessed anything. If he had said any more nice things about him. But Albus shook his head.

"You should ask him that yourself."

With that he let Severus leave, more ashamed than ever and with the same searing pain in his chest. It was Remus's fault, not his. Yes. It was Remus's betrayal. Remus's fake trust and his fake affection. And even if it hadn't been fake… Severus could not forgive him.

In the end Severus couldn't resist the urge to go see Remus in his rooms. He strode past the hidden staircase with the vanishing step and the memory connected with it quite naturally, impertinently, appeared in his mind, but this time it had a bitter aftertaste and Severus shook his head furiously to chase it away. He was in this situation because he had opened himself to someone, trusted him, for the first time in many years, and the only thing that dunderhead had in mind was going and disappointing him, destroying all they had shared. Or had they? Had anything been real? Or did Remus and Black laugh at him behind his back because he had been so naïve? The thought made his insides feel as if they were being ripped to shreds. Most probably they did. He just wanted to let himself fall to the marble floor and stay there, waiting for the pain to subside. Severus's heavy steps echoed in the corridor. It didn't matter. It was over now, that he had taken care of. Once and for all.